Any advice is helpful

[K. Parcels]

I hate for my first post on this board to be a whiny little plea for help, but I am undergoing several arguements on a daily basis with my folks for being an atheist. I do not provoke these,(I never tell them they are wrong, in fatc, I never even bring up religion, they just happened to find a copy of Richard Dawkin's book The God Delusion in my room.) and it's causing an incredible amount of tension in our household, my parents have gone as far to say that I am "worthless and anything I do in the future will be worthless because I don't believe in god." That I am "tearing this family apart" as well as " a failure and disgrace to their name." I'm sure someone else HAS HAD to have dealt with this and I'd like to know what they did. I refuse to speak to them when they say these awful things to me, and know that I can overcome it for two more years, but I was wondering what others did in this situation.

THanks if you reply, or even just read...

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

Well I'm not sure exactly what to say since my "coming out" process hasn't been nearly as stressful, but I guess if I were in your situation I'd fight back with as many arguments against the existence of God as I could muster. Not with the idea of converting your family members, mind you, but hopefully you'll be able to reach a stalemate where religious discussions are just too damn awkward for your parents to bring up. Aggressive atheism isn't normally my style, but it's clear to me that your family has already thrown civility out the window and it's time to make them squirm a bit.

[K. Parcels]

hmm, gratsi! I totally needed a push in that direction. I'm mexican and mexican = catholic so no one, especially in my extended family ( heck, they hate me for living in the states and speaking english) agrees.

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

By the way, you'd probably get more advise if you posted this under General Discussion. Hardly anyone visits the Comments section. Good luck! :thumbsup:

[Choobus]

have your parents read the chooblog? That might help......

[Livingstrong]

By the way, you'd probably get more advise if you posted this under General Discussion. Hardly anyone visits the Comments section. Good luck! :thumbsup:
Except for HomoCyclist in "I Love This Forum".....? :cool:

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

By the way, you'd probably get more advise if you posted this under General Discussion. Hardly anyone visits the Comments section. Good luck! :thumbsup:
Except for HomoCyclist in "I Love This Forum".....? :cool:
True, true. I'm just saying that one of the other sections would probably get him more traffic.

[inkadu]

I hate for my first post on this board to be a whiny little plea for help, but I am undergoing several arguements on a daily basis with my folks for being an atheist.
Why would you think we'd be anything but helpful, sweetness and light? :whistle:

I'd say its not a battle you can win, but you can decide not to fight it. Say, "I understand you're dissapointed I don't believe in God. What's for dinner?" Just change the subject. If you engage them, they'll just become even more angry because not only are you an atheist, but you must be the ANTI-CHRIST, so thoroughly and easily can you demolish their arguments. It's a game they can't win. You wouldn't play chess with a retard would you? Don't argue religion with a theist, especially if they're your parents. Parents think they know everything.

[ocmpoma]

K, I'm going to advise you not to pursue the tack that EMR suggested. I don't think that his idea is necessarily a bad one; however, I think that, based on what you've said, it will just make your present situation worse. Instead, I advise you to do a very difficult thing -- keep as calm as you possibly can when your parents are talking about your atheism. Secondly, and again while keeping as cool a head as you possibly can, point out how hurtful your parents' remarks are. Tell them that, while you're happy to talk about your different beliefs and reasons for them, and you understand their distress, their remarks about your worth are certainly not responsible, let alone loving. Next time a remark of that nature flies, I would ask them point blank why they are willing to say something so hurtful to their own child.

You need to defuse the arguments and get them away from personal diatribes before you can begin to address the actual issues at hand. Then you can start to discuss your reasons, as EMR suggests.

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

It sounds like he's already tried the reasonable approach. His parents need to know that there's only so far they can push him before he starts to push back.

[Gnosital]

It sounds like he's already tried the reasonable approach. His parents need to know that there's only so far they can push him before he starts to push back.
Yeah, that's also a good way to become a homeless person.

Go with ocmpoma on this one, kid.

[Choobus]

Go with ocmpoma on this one, kid.
always good advice.

[Livingstrong]

Yeah, that's also a good way to become a homeless person.
You crack me up girl! :lol:

Truth to your words though. :rock:

[Gnosital]

Yeah, that's also a good way to become a homeless person.
You crack me up girl! :lol:

Truth to your words though. :rock:
HC you are sweet.

I do think that it could be a good idea to stay in the atheist closet at times. PLenty of time to come out again later when a person has more control over life. This sounded to me like one of those times.

[antix]

I agree. ocm had a most outstanding piece of advice and I'd say try that, but if it doesn't work, you always play the ole born again Christian card.

this is clearly none of my business and you obviously don't have to answer if you don't want, but by chance is this you?

Edit: never mind about the link. I just read your 2nd post and I am a retard :blush:

[snap crafter]

All these options are equally valid, but in the end only you know what would work with your parents or not.

Let's say that you accidentally called Bush a fucking moron, and your parents are heavy conservatives. Do what you would do in that situation.

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

It sounds like he's already tried the reasonable approach. His parents need to know that there's only so far they can push him before he starts to push back.
Yeah, that's also a good way to become a homeless person.
You really think it'll come to that?

[Professor Chaos]

It sounds like he's already tried the reasonable approach. His parents need to know that there's only so far they can push him before he starts to push back.
Yeah, that's also a good way to become a homeless person.
You really think it'll come to that?
It did for me as a teenager.*








*Not related to atheism, but very much related to a "only so far they can push [me] before [i] start to push back" approach.

To this day, the most embarassing thing about my teenage homelessness is that a small part of me thought it was cool that I slept under a bridge, just like Kurt Cobain. Fortunately, I never started using heroin.

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

Yeah, that's also a good way to become a homeless person.
You really think it'll come to that?
It did for me as a teenager.*








*Not related to atheism, but very much related to a "only so far they can push [me] before [i] start to push back" approach.

To this day, the most embarassing thing about my teenage homelessness is that a small part of me thought it was cool that I slept under a bridge, just like Kurt Cobain. Fortunately, I never started using heroin.
I see. I'm sorry to hear that, Prof. I guess I tend to be a bit naieve, thinking that familial love with usually win out over any particular argument.

[Professor Chaos]

I wasn't seeking sympathy or anything, but thank you for your kind words. Sadly, "familial love" comes in short supply in many families.

[Gnosital]

It sounds like he's already tried the reasonable approach. His parents need to know that there's only so far they can push him before he starts to push back.
Yeah, that's also a good way to become a homeless person.
You really think it'll come to that?
I don't pretend to have any idea what tthis kid's situations is, but I do know people who have been disowned by their "loving families" for similar or less. I hope that's not the case, but from the info provided, it just doesn't sound like the parents are open to being be challenged or to validating KP's personal feelings in this matter.

[Gnosital]

I wasn't seeking sympathy or anything, but thank you for your kind words. Sadly, "familial love" comes in short supply in many families.
Sad but true. To have a dog requires at least a license. To have a child, not so much.

[inkadu]

Sad but true. To have a dog requires at least a license. To have a child, not so much.
You can still get tags for the kids, though, if you want.

http://www.toddlertag.net/?gclid=CLG12bDWrowCFRTTgAod00pSJA

[HeathenLifer]

What works for me is reminding them that just because I am an athiest and they are christian, it doesn't change who we are. We still agree on many things, and have similar sets of morals. Focusing on what is the same helps my mom marginalize the differences. This may be good for later?

It just now occured to me that this is sorta like "making your captor see you as a person so they won't kill you".

[Gnosital]

Sad but true. To have a dog requires at least a license. To have a child, not so much.
You can still get tags for the kids, though, if you want.

http://www.toddlertag.net/?gclid=CLG12bDWrowCFRTTgAod00pSJA
Or you could just fucking pay attention to your kids. It's probably too much effort form some parents, I guess.

:rolleyes:

[Gnosital]

What works for me is reminding them that just because I am an athiest and they are christian, it doesn't change who we are. We still agree on many things, and have similar sets of morals. Focusing on what is the same helps my mom marginalize the differences. This may be good for later?

It just now occured to me that this is sorta like "making your captor see you as a person so they won't kill you".
It may be a bit like that with the captor thing, but yours is good advice irregardless* nevertheless. You know some psychology, don't you, you little heathen!!!




*Just for you, Choobus! :P

[Sternwallow]

I wasn't seeking sympathy or anything, but thank you for your kind words. Sadly, "familial love" comes in short supply in many families.
Families who have learned that God comes first and "let the dead bury their dead" and, a rebuke to one's mother "woman, what have I to do with you?" will dole out familial love with an eye-dropper.

Note also that there is no commandment for parents to honor or respect their children while there are instructions to have unruly children stoned to death with stones.

[Method21]

Stoned to death with stones? REALLY? I thought they used pieces of plutonium.... Just joking man, I had to pick on you. :thumbsup:

[Sternwallow]

Stoned to death with stones? REALLY? I thought they used pieces of plutonium.... Just joking man, I had to pick on you. :thumbsup:
You aren't picking on me. That is exactly the way the Bible says it, over and over. :D

[Smellyoldgit]

I feel quite horrified that this "argument" between parents and offspring can arise in the 21st century.
My upbringing was in a clan of practical, open, honest engineers & decent working-class folk.
I was very surprised when a 2nd cousin confessed to taking guidance from the bible (when I was 39!) - the first of our family to own up to such obvious wizzardy a-la douche.
Such is the cross-pond difference that you poor buggers to the west have to deal with.
Any advice I could offer would probably lead to bloodshed, homelessness or at the very least a cold, stoney silence.

[Livingstrong]

You really think it'll come to that?
It did for me as a teenager.*

*Not related to atheism, but very much related to a "only so far they can push [me] before [i] start to push back" approach.

To this day, the most embarassing thing about my teenage homelessness is that a small part of me thought it was cool that I slept under a bridge, just like Kurt Cobain. Fortunately, I never started using heroin.
I see. I'm sorry to hear that, Prof. I guess I tend to be a bit naieve, thinking that familial love with usually win out over any particular argument.
It did for me as a teenager too.* :(

*Not related to atheism either, but related to my "evil lesbian demon".

Note: EMR, and I, unlike PC who said: " I wasn't seeking sympathy or anything...." am seeking lots and lots of sympathy....:D

PS PC prefers some other kind of sympathy, more like.....sexual sympathy.....is there anything like that? :lol:

[Irreligious]

Any advice I could offer would probably lead to bloodshed, homelessness or at the very least a cold, stoney silence.
Stoning. Cold and silent. The absolute worst kind.

No one asked and you haven't said, K. Parcels, but how old are you? It makes a difference. If you're a child, you may have no other choice but to appear outwardly compliant so as to avoid upsetting your parents. That's the nature of childhood and dependency.

It's already been said but, perhaps, the wisest thing you could do is to talk it over with someone you know and trust, and someone who knows your parents, as well. There are too many variables to consider before provoking a confrontation.

[inkadu]

Why do I think that K Parcels no longer has access to the internet or a bookstore?

[inkadu]

Stoned to death with stones? REALLY?
You aren't picking on me. That is exactly the way the Bible says it, over and over. :D
My bible says you should stonily stone them to death by stonily throwing stones at them until their are stone dead.

But my bible is a special translation by the Ancient Order of Free Stone Gatherers, Wholesalers, and Retailers.

[Rat Bastard]

It did for me as a teenager.*

*Not related to atheism, but very much related to a "only so far they can push [me] before [i] start to push back" approach.

To this day, the most embarassing thing about my teenage homelessness is that a small part of me thought it was cool that I slept under a bridge, just like Kurt Cobain. Fortunately, I never started using heroin.
I see. I'm sorry to hear that, Prof. I guess I tend to be a bit naieve, thinking that familial love with usually win out over any particular argument.
It did for me as a teenager too.* :(

*Not related to atheism either, but related to my "evil lesbian demon".

Note: EMR, and I, unlike PC who said: " I wasn't seeking sympathy or anything...." am seeking lots and lots of sympathy....:D

PS PC prefers some other kind of sympathy, more like.....sexual sympathy.....is there anything like that? :lol:
"Sexual Healing" I don't know the artist's name.

[Irreligious]

Marvin Gaye. Just remember the last name, HC.

(Aren't you a boomer, Ratty? Marvin Gaye and the entire Motown roster is required knowledge for us boomers).

[Sternwallow]

Stoned to death with stones? REALLY?
You aren't picking on me. That is exactly the way the Bible says it, over and over. :D
My bible says you should stonily stone them to death by stonily throwing stones at them until their are stone dead.

But my bible is a special translation by the Ancient Order of Free Stone Gatherers, Wholesalers, and Retailers.
...and not because you are stoned at the moment? :lol::lol:

[Rat Bastard]

Marvin Gaye. Just remember the last name, HC.

(Aren't you a boomer, Ratty? Marvin Gaye and the entire Motown roster is required knowledge for us boomers).
Just couldn't place it at the moment, Irr. Yes, born in '52, another boomer-boy.

[Chris]

What her/his parents are doing is abuse, they need to be punched in the fucking head.

[inkadu]

But my bible is a special translation by the Ancient Order of Free Stone Gatherers, Wholesalers, and Retailers.
...and not because you are stoned at the moment? :lol::lol:

They'll stone when you're at the breafast table...

[Livingstrong]

Sexual Healing" I don't know the artist's name.
Marvin Gaye. Just remember the last name, HC.

(Aren't you a boomer, Ratty? Marvin Gaye and the entire Motown roster is required knowledge for us boomers).
Marvin Gaye - Sexual Healing Lyrics

(Marvin Gaye/David Ritz/Odell Brown)
Ooh, now let's get down tonight
Baby I'm hot just like an oven
I need some lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue tear drops are falling
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
I can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and
Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the things you're dealing
I can tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing
Get up, Get up, Get up, Get up, let's make love tonight
Wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up, 'cos you do it right
Baby I got sick this morning
A sea was storming inside of me
Baby I think I'm capsizing
The waves are rising and rising
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing is good for me
Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush
Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us
Sexual Healing, baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
And it's good for me and it's good to me
My baby ohhh
Come take control, just grab a hold
Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it
Honey, oh we're feeling fine
You're my medicine open up and let me in
Darling, you're so great
I can't wait for you to operate
I can't wait for you to operate
When I get this feeling, I need Sexual Healing [Ad lib]

[Livingstrong]

What her/his parents are doing is abuse, they need to be punched in the fucking head.
.....I doubt they have any head.....with brains I mean.

Better to punch them where it's going to hurt them the most.....:whistle:

[Professor Chaos]

Marvin ruled. But Sexual Healing is when he jumped the shark.

[Irreligious]

Marvin ruled. But Sexual Healing is when he jumped the shark.
Hmm... I jumped a few bones to that jam, myself. :lol:

[K. Parcels]

thank you guys, it does do good to just ignore ANY religious subject cause they are always traps, and even then there are still those "atheist don't get dinner" moments. You're right that you really can't win against parents, but I know how to use the microwave , so boy are they screwed!

(by the way I'm a female. *gasps here*)

thanks again!

Oh and it's a bit curious because if I say Bush is an idiot (which I regularly do, you know it's kind of like saying "good afternoon" now) my parents agree, but I think thats the immigrant in them speaking.)

[Livingstrong]

thank you guys, it does do good to just ignore ANY religious subject cause they are always traps, and even then there are still those "atheist don't get dinner" moments. You're right that you really can't win against parents, but I know how to use the microwave , so boy are they screwed!

(by the way I'm a female. *gasps here*)
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


Oh and it's a bit curious because if I say Bush is an idiot (which I regularly do, you know it's kind of like saying "good afternoon" now) my parents agree, but I think thats the immigrant in them speaking.)
:cheers:

I hope you keep on posting here. You are very funny and seem like a very interesting person.

Again, welcome aboard!

[joni]

I think it's funny how if a poster's name isn't explicitly feminine or they don't mention it right away, everyone assumes they're a dude. I do it too.