Oh no! The church is running out of priests!

[The Judge]

This one brightened my day:Church shortage of priests! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4590019.stm) They're actually trying to recuit to the clergy by using beermats in pubs here in England! They should try the nonces in bloody prison..."Come on kiddie fiddlers, we haven't got enough of you!"

(n.b. "Nonce" is English nomenclature for a prisoner incarcerated for child abuse)

[Philboid Studge]

(n.b. "Nonce" is English nomenclature for a prisoner incarcerated for child abuse)
Distinguishing it from "ponce," wot?

[DMofD&D]

Yay! I'm glad the church is losing power. Instead of helping the poor, maybe they will the poor for a change.

[Sir Sin-O-Lot]

Why don't they do what the fraternities do? Fill them with alcohol and surround them with hookers. Maybe there is a god...*cough*Never mind.

[The Judge]

Why don't they do what the fraternities do? Fill them with alcohol and surround them with hookers. Maybe there is a god...*cough*Never mind.
You never know, their strategy may not be too dissimilar - they are advertising on beer mats plus there's the free wine at communion - could be a big selling point!

[ghoulslime]

Orgies! That's what's missing, I'm telling you! Bring in orgies and the Church will have people lined up at the door. They have the wrong goddamn entertainment, that's all.

[The Judge]

As soon as I see or get hold of one of these adverts, I shall do my best to post it here. Should be good for a few giggles...:lol:

[Another brick in the wall]

Less praying and singing, more food and fun, then I might go to church. Otherwise, it's a boring waste of time as far as I'm concerned.

[ghoulslime]

The child molesting habits of the Catholic church are indeed disturbing. When I think of the things those priests are doing to those young lithesome boys, the stroking of their delicate buttocks, the fondling of their tender sexual organs, the touch of innocent lips to the throbbing desire of wanton priests, it makes my righteous blood boil. It is no wonder the Catholic church has a shortage of worthy priests! I wonder how one would obtain more information about becoming a priest - not that I would ever consider it myself. I mean, just as a matter of education. :P

Well, I'm off to the elementary school to give away candy.

[Acromnion]

Orgies! That's what's missing, I'm telling you! Bring in orgies and the Church will have people lined up at the door. They have the wrong goddamn entertainment, that's all.
I'd believe in god if they were all struck by lightning durring the height of the experience doin it in church... lol :P

well, a little closer in believing. maybe more if he scorched "god was here" on the wall...

[HMS Beagle]

This one brightened my day:Church shortage of priests! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4590019.stm)
The cynic in me wants to say that because priests can no longer hide behind vestments to practice what is so clinically called "clerical pedophilia," the semenary-- oops, I mean seminary no longer has the same allure.

But really I think that it's much sadder than that. I suspect that a lot of young Catholic men who had genuine struggles with pedophiliac urges sought refuge in the priesthood, which promises the imposition of discipline and virtue. Unfortunately, they discovered that their animal urges were stronger than their religion. In other words, the Catholic church has proved itself impotent against sodomy (and not only sodomy, in my view), and therefore it is no refuge at all, nor even a reliable structure for the most troubled members of its congregation.

[The Judge]

I agree - on a larger scale one could extrapolate this conclusion to all church goers. they are all weak or perceive themselves to be weak otherwise they wouldn't need help. Religion is an emotional crutch to help deal with the shit that life throws at you. It's inculcation of dichtomous thinking in terms of "good" and "evil" only serve to implicitly teach denial - as in the example of these abusing priests. Freud hypothesised over 100 years ago that purely denial and suppression would invariably lead to expression in other form. I'm not saying we should allow paedophilia, rather we should educate the indivdual and society and treat the sick to prevent this happening

[AtheistFreedom]

When I think of the things those priests are doing to those young lithesome boys, the stroking of their delicate buttocks, the fondling of their tender sexual organs, the touch of innocent lips to the throbbing desire of wanton priests, it makes my righteous blood boil.
You crack me up so bad, LOL!:P:lol: Seriously, I need a cigarette after reading that bit, and I don't even smoke.:cool:

[ghoulslime]

Step #1

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/60_laying_hands.jpg

[ghoulslime]

Follow the example of Jesus!

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/JesusBlow.gif

Behold ghoulslime's graphic work and glory!

[AtheistFreedom]

That is just sooooooo wrong!:lol: (I laughed 'til I cried.):cool:

[RedRob]

I see nothing bad posted here, only the truth!