The Athiest Test - Written by idiots, not Athiests

[WITHTEETH]

Not written by me but by a christian, here you go tare it apart!
BANG! The Theory of evolution of the Coca Cola can.

Billions of years ago, a big bang produced a large rock. As the rock cooled, sweet brown liquid formed on its surface. As time passed, aluminum formed itself into a can, a lid and a tab. Millions of years later red and white paint fell from the sky and formed itself into the words "coca cola...12 fluid ounces"

Of course, my theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the coca cola can is made, there must be a maker. If it is designed, there must be a designer. The alternative, that it happened by chance or accident, is to move into an intellectual free zone.



The banana - the atheists nightmare.

1. is shaped for human hand

2. Has a non - slip surface

3.has outward indicators of inward contents:green - too early, yellow - just right, black - too late

4. Has a tab for removal of wrapper

5. is perforated on wrapper

6. Has a bio - degradable wrapper

7. Is shaped for mouth

8. Has a point at top for easy entery

9. Is pleasing to taste buds

10. Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy



Did you know that the eye has 40000000 nerve endings, the focusing muscles move an estimating 100000 times a day and the retina contains 137000000 light sensitive cells?

test 1: do u know of any buildings without a builder?

2: do u know of any painting that didn't have a painter?

3: Do u know of any car that didn't have a maker?

if u answered yes to any of these plz give details:

Could I convince you that I dropped 50 oranges onto the ground and by chance they landed into 10 rows of 5? The logical conclusion is that someone with an entelligent mind put them there. The odds that 10 oranges would fall by acccident into a straight line is mind boggling, never mind into 5 rows!

The declaration that there is no god is an "absolute statement" For an absolute statement to be true, i must have absolute knowledge. Here is another 'absolute statement':there is no gold in china.

For this statement to be true I must have absolute knowledge of china or else this statement is incorrect. To say there is no god i would have to be omniscient. I must know how many hairs are upon every head, every thought of every human heart, every detail of history, every atom within every rock... nothing is hidden from my eyes...I know the intimate details of secret love life of fleas on the back of the black cat of Napoliens great granny. To make the absolute statement, there is no God I must have absolute knowledge that there isn't one.

Let say that a huge circle represents all the knowlegde in the entire universe, and lets assume that u have an incredable 1% of all that knowledge. Is it impossible, that in the knowledge you haven't yet came across, there is ample evidence to prove that God does indeed exist? If you are reasonable, you will have to say, "Having the limited knowledge I have at present, I believe that there is know god." In other words, you don't know if God exists, so u are not an atheist, you are an agnostic. You are like a man who looks at a building and doesn't know if there was a builder.

Perhaps you have questions that hold you back from faith. First almost every question about sufering humanity has been answerd. second, we have faith in plenty of things we don't understand. Did you understand the mecanics of television before you turned it on? Probably nbot. You took a leap of faith, turned it on and after it worked, understanding how it worked did not really matter.

Come to Jesus

[abortionman]

Godlessness leaving body
must...love...JESUS!

soul saved!

phew...that was close, for a second i thought i'd go to hell...thanks atheist test!

[CFett]

The banana is an atheists nightmare? I think the banana is proof that god loves gay people. They're shaped like a dildo for a reason! Praise jesus! Lordy lordy!

Anyways, I had to find a copy of the test on a website and ask them a question:

I like your builder analagy, but it got me wondering, obviously everything built needs a builder, but lets consider that builder now. Doesn't the builder need a builder? To put it simply, I don't know any construction workers that just appear out of thin air...that's the same as the big bang theory. No, all these construction workers have mommy's and daddy's...who quite possibly are construction workers as well. So where'd our big construction man come from? If the universe just appearing isn't acceptable, then how is god just appearing acceptable?

I'd love to you hear your thoughts on the matter...

So, we'll see how they respond....if they do at all.

[snap crafter]

Holy Jesus christ of latterday saints....

First off, to the painting without a painter, and car without maker, these are ridiculous statements. the point behind evolution is that things reproduce, and change over time, I dare them to make a childlike example of something that can reproduce on it's own and say that it's stupid that it was made by an intelligent being.

Banana... Yeah, someone has a fetish for bananas it seems, wish I knew anything about bananas then that would mean something to me.

Kent hovind calls when they did with the eye a snow job.

But it's still possible that the oranges could fall that way if the area your dropping them to is lvl and completely flat.

The statement that there IS a god is an absolute statement, it works both ways.

I fail to see how admitting that god could exist makes you agnostic if you still believe he doesn't.

Yes, suffering humanity because adam ate an apple years back and god's a prick about it, that's why there are wars, that's why people die, that's why there is illnesses in the world, because Adam got curious because a snake TOLD HIM it was alright, great logic. Faith... and knowing are 2 different things. I know that tv's gonna come on, and if it don't I know I can call someone to fix it. even so, how does taking any leap of faith mean that all leaps of faith are credible? I know a man that told me satan told him to smack his wife, It's a leap of faith to believe satan told him to do it and not that he just felt like calming the bitch down...

Come to the dark side.

[ghoulslime]

What is really amazing about bananas; they are the same shape when you eat them and when they come out of your ass!

[Amazonis]

How dare this guy badmouth bananas in banana month. How nasty...
Anyway, i must admit i have been guilty of badmouthing the banana over the past few days...
Actually, i don't really badmouth the banana itself, i badmouth the way it is grown...
I even made a post (http://www.ravingatheist.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=1106) on how nasty the growing methods of bananas plantations are...
And i listed all of the environmental and social problems the banana trade caused...
And i even gave a link to the greatest banana website of all, Banana Link (http://www.bananalink.org.uk/)
But anyway, i have nothing against the banana itself...
I just dislike the way they are produced...
Thats why i have a banana tree at my home!

[Revmonkeyboy]

How about all the fruits that are hard to eat, like coconuts. How about the pinapple. Why do so many berry producing plants also have thorns. Evolution explains all this and more. Most edible fruits had to be domesticated using un-natural selection before they became so tasty. Evolution explained it to you in school(or would have if they weren't afraid of creationist uprisings). The bannana is handy for us, true. It is handy to any creature with a thumb. The thing that benefits most from the bannana is the bannana tree. Animals and humans carry bannanas everywhere. They carry the seed. Evolution explains......ect. The kind of banana that we farm has been selected for it's small seed. We are taking advantage of our understanding of evolution in a real way. An advantage that all banana munching creationist monkeys should appreciate. We sure as hell aren't doing it for the banana tree.

revmonkeyboy

[Tenspace]

Monkeys love bananas. Humans love bananas. Therefore humans must be related to monkeys.

Thanks Atheist Test for proving evolution! :D:D:D

[Amazonis]

How about all the fruits that are hard to eat, like coconuts. How about the pinapple. Why do so many berry producing plants also have thorns.
God must have made those fruits after he realised that tempting people to eat apples and then banishing their race to eternal sin wasn't such a good idea after all!

[Kamikaze189]

The thing some people NEVER realize is: the whole "orange test" would be happening constantly, not just once. Sure, it may take awhile to get your rows, but it will eventually happen.

A program that picks random letters and spaces can recreate a shakespeare play when given enough tries.

[snap crafter]

It must be real frustrating when it's only one word away from completely hamlet and instead of saying to it says too.

[Nicole]

BANG! The Theory of evolution of the Coca Cola can.

1: do u know of any buildings without a builder?

2: do u know of any painting that didn't have a painter?

3: Do u know of any car that didn't have a maker?

if u answered yes to any of these plz give details:
How about Dark Matter (which we don't understand yet), gravity and the expanding universe as the builders.




The banana - the atheists nightmare.
Most fruits, nuts, vegies etc. are designed to be attractive to animals so that they can be spread and reproduce. The colors are indicators for the animals as is the shape. Bananas are even further enhanced by our own manipulation. Most domesticated crops have been altered by us so that their orignal purpose is hidden or in the case of seedless grapes and watermelon, their purpose has been completely changed.


Could I convince you that I dropped 50 oranges onto the ground and by chance they landed into 10 rows of 5? The logical conclusion is that someone with an entelligent mind put them there. The odds that 10 oranges would fall by acccident into a straight line is mind boggling, never mind into 5 rows!
I'd like to see how everything is supposedly lined up so perfectly. Take a look at our solar system. We've got planets that are tipped over, moons that have been smashed into pieces, asteroids careening into things. Take a look at humans. It took countless attempts before modern humans made it past the walking upright stage, our DNA is flawed and we are now so hopelessly out of touch with reality that we're destroying our only home.

Nice little rows indeed!


The declaration that there is no god is an "absolute statement" For an absolute statement to be true, i must have absolute knowledge. Here is another 'absolute statement':there is no gold in china.

For this statement to be true I must have absolute knowledge of china or else this statement is incorrect. To say there is no god i would have to be omniscient...... .
I actually like this argument as we theists are always saying that we don't know everything and that's why science can't explain everything. It gets our weak spot. The only answer that I could come up with is that probable laws of physics and science indicate that there are practical explanations for the universe and that with this knowledge I have to accept the facts as I see them. I have never witnessed anything that would suggest a supernatural power nor do I know of anyone who has so that theory has no weight. Anybody got anything better?

[Revmonkeyboy]

The absolute statement is something of a misunderstanding. I don't believe that the idea of "A" god is imposible. I think it is very highly unlikely. I am not personally making a statement that is "absolute". I do KNOW that the gods that humans have created are false. They make many statements that are testable(age of earth, creation myth, flood). If there is a god it has given no evidence of existence, and has never spoke to any human. This is fact. I cannot fully refute any god that the religious folk have not invented yet.
I do not have evidence that gods do not exist somewhere in some other universe or reality. But again I can prove the flood did not happen. I can prove the solar system is 4.6 billion years old. That is enough for me to believe that there is no god. That is good enough for me. I will believe in god as soon as he beams down and does something. Until then I will believe the evidence.

revmonkeyboy

[MrsMoe]

Not written by me but by a christian, here you go tare it apart!
BANG! The Theory of evolution of the Coca Cola can.

Billions of years ago, a big bang produced a large rock. As the rock cooled, sweet brown liquid formed on its surface. As time passed, aluminum formed itself into a can, a lid and a tab. Millions of years later red and white paint fell from the sky and formed itself into the words "coca cola...12 fluid ounces"

Of course, my theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the coca cola can is made, there must be a maker. If it is designed, there must be a designer. The alternative, that it happened by chance or accident, is to move into an intellectual free zone.



The banana - the atheists nightmare.

1. is shaped for human hand

2. Has a non - slip surface

3.has outward indicators of inward contents:green - too early, yellow - just right, black - too late

4. Has a tab for removal of wrapper

5. is perforated on wrapper

6. Has a bio - degradable wrapper

7. Is shaped for mouth

8. Has a point at top for easy entery

9. Is pleasing to taste buds

10. Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy
A banana is my worst nightmere?

ROFL that is some funny shit!

[Metman07]

Monkeys love bananas. Humans love bananas. Therefore humans must be related to monkeys.

Thanks Atheist Test for proving evolution! :D:D:D
That reminds me of that Ali G skit, where he had a number of scientists on, including Kent Hovind. He asked where humans came from and the legit scientist (the one who actually possesses a degree from an accredited non degree mill :)) obviously said that humans evolved from lower species.

Then Dr. Dino was like "if evolution is true, how come monkey aren't producing humans today....this is pure religion!". Of course, I was astounded by the stupidity of that comment and this was actually the first time I found about Dr. Dino. Then I did some research on him and found out he's a total moron.

Anyway, Ali G was like "Let me ask you a question.....has you ever eaten a bannana?", then he just gave him one of those funny looks of his when Dr. Dino was like "yeah I have". I think Ali G, a fictional character, has about the same intelligence level as "Doctor" Kent Hovind

[snap crafter]

Never have I enjoyed Ali G more, I wish I could have seen Dr. Dino makin' a fool of himself once again, never really watched Ali G, can't stand mtv.

[Metman07]

It's on HBO

[snap crafter]

Don't have that

[Sir Sin-O-Lot]

When God created the banana, I think he was being homo-erotic. By using this evidence, I can conclude that God was gay. Since God hates gay people, he is in Hell. Since God is in Hell, he must be evil. Satan is evil and so is God, therefore God is Satan. By using that I can conclude that all Christians are really Satantists. (I love faulty logic)

[Philboid Studge]

Satan is gay (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/southpark.htm)?

[Amazonis]

When God created the banana, I think he was being homo-erotic. By using this evidence, I can conclude that God was gay. Since God hates gay people, he is in Hell. Since God is in Hell, he must be evil. Satan is evil and so is God, therefore God is Satan. By using that I can conclude that all Christians are really Satantists. (I love faulty logic)
And from that you can conclude that satan and god are IN A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER!

[Switch25]

lol bananas

check out the godless bastards thoughts on this it's pretty funny.

http://godlessbastard.com/wst_page9.html

[Downslide]

Not written by me but by a christian, here you go tare it apart!
BANG! The Theory of evolution of the Coca Cola can.

Billions of years ago, a big bang produced a large rock. As the rock cooled, sweet brown liquid formed on its surface. As time passed, aluminum formed itself into a can, a lid and a tab. Millions of years later red and white paint fell from the sky and formed itself into the words "coca cola...12 fluid ounces"

Of course, my theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the coca cola can is made, there must be a maker. If it is designed, there must be a designer. The alternative, that it happened by chance or accident, is to move into an intellectual free zone.



The banana - the atheists nightmare.

1. is shaped for human hand

2. Has a non - slip surface

3.has outward indicators of inward contents:green - too early, yellow - just right, black - too late

4. Has a tab for removal of wrapper

5. is perforated on wrapper

6. Has a bio - degradable wrapper

7. Is shaped for mouth

8. Has a point at top for easy entery

9. Is pleasing to taste buds

10. Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy



Did you know that the eye has 40000000 nerve endings, the focusing muscles move an estimating 100000 times a day and the retina contains 137000000 light sensitive cells?

test 1: do u know of any buildings without a builder?

2: do u know of any painting that didn't have a painter?

3: Do u know of any car that didn't have a maker?

if u answered yes to any of these plz give details:

Could I convince you that I dropped 50 oranges onto the ground and by chance they landed into 10 rows of 5? The logical conclusion is that someone with an entelligent mind put them there. The odds that 10 oranges would fall by acccident into a straight line is mind boggling, never mind into 5 rows!

The declaration that there is no god is an "absolute statement" For an absolute statement to be true, i must have absolute knowledge. Here is another 'absolute statement':there is no gold in china.

For this statement to be true I must have absolute knowledge of china or else this statement is incorrect. To say there is no god i would have to be omniscient. I must know how many hairs are upon every head, every thought of every human heart, every detail of history, every atom within every rock... nothing is hidden from my eyes...I know the intimate details of secret love life of fleas on the back of the black cat of Napoliens great granny. To make the absolute statement, there is no God I must have absolute knowledge that there isn't one.

Let say that a huge circle represents all the knowlegde in the entire universe, and lets assume that u have an incredable 1% of all that knowledge. Is it impossible, that in the knowledge you haven't yet came across, there is ample evidence to prove that God does indeed exist? If you are reasonable, you will have to say, "Having the limited knowledge I have at present, I believe that there is know god." In other words, you don't know if God exists, so u are not an atheist, you are an agnostic. You are like a man who looks at a building and doesn't know if there was a builder.

Perhaps you have questions that hold you back from faith. First almost every question about sufering humanity has been answerd. second, we have faith in plenty of things we don't understand. Did you understand the mecanics of television before you turned it on? Probably nbot. You took a leap of faith, turned it on and after it worked, understanding how it worked did not really matter.

Come to Jesus
are you agnostic then?

[Revmonkeyboy]

Downslide,

Above you have mentioned that all the questions about suffering have been answered. I do not believe this for a minute. I have never heard any theist explain why any god would be a sadist. In the old days theist use to say that gods creation was flawless. The church was extremely pissed at Galileo for noticing the craters on the moom and spots on the sun. These discoverys were seen as blasphemy. It is obvious that theist made a bunch of predictions that were proven not to discribe reality.
If you really have an explanation for your imaginary god's sadism we would all love to hear it.

The tv analogy is not very suitable. Whether or not I understand the tv does not change the fact that the tv works on scientific and testable concepts. Many people did not believe in tv untill they saw it. That was proof enough to trust it. God has never worked on scientific and testable concepts. God has never showed up to prove it's existence.

revmonkeyboy

[Downslide]

dude... maybe i missed something there... but I don't believe in god. of any sort.

[WITHTEETH]

Downslide, i use to be curious, then i was agnostic, now im an athiest.

[ryu]

Anyway, Ali G was like "Let me ask you a question.....has you ever eaten a bannana?", then he just gave him one of those funny looks of his when Dr. Dino was like "yeah I have". I think Ali G, a fictional character, has about the same intelligence level as "Doctor" Kent Hovind
HAHAHAH!!! yeah i saw that one lol! the shit he does! lol.. i remember when he was talking to a preist about not having sex or something and he asked if he would get w/one of the other guests. he preist was like no. and ali g said (because she was fat) what if she was a little more fit...... LOL

[Downslide]

Downslide, i use to be curious, then i was agnostic, now im an athiest.
I kinda went through that: curious in grade four, and by the end of grade 5 i was atheist ... shakespeare is much better.

[Revmonkeyboy]

Sorry downslide. I think that when I was looking through the posts I accidently thought i was responding to the wrong person. Calling someone a theist is pretty harsh language and I do apologize.

Revmonkeyboy