Over Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence

[TroggleHumper]

I dont think they missed one.

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

The one i hear the most is 73...

ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)
(1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
(2) Atheist: of course.
(3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
(4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.
(5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
(6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
(8) Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
(9) I'm glad we all agree.....
....
(37) So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
(38) Atheist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?
....
(81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true. Agreed?
(82) I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!?
....
(177) ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously valid. Agreed?
(178) [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]
(179) Therefore, God exists.

[Switch25]

lol, I've heard so many of those from theists.

10) MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

[Nicole]

ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Atheists -- it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
This one is my favorite and the point when I stop all communications

[alaspooryorick]

I read about half of them and had a ball. I particularly like the "Love is Blind. God is Love. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God." Or "Eric Clapton is God. Therefore, God exists."

These are great, and the sad thing is I've been told a number of them.

[Stop the Robots]

I don't get half of those.

[TroggleHumper]

They are the most comonly used proofs of god existence boiled down to there simplist form. And a few jokes for fun. The reason you dont get them is because they are not logical proofs they are bs.

[miata]

If there was a God he would let us know and all think faith and magic stuff is silly for an all powerful god. If god knows all and see all and you still get cancer and suffer he must hate your guts. I don't know you but I would eliminate pain and sorrow if I had the ability. If there is a god who made him? If you see god tell him to avoid Zell Miller he may want to have a duel.
miata

[Lurker]

Check out these 300 disproofs for god's existence (http://www.tektonics.org/guest/300proof.html). Here's a few to get you started...

ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF BELIEF
1. If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
2. I don’t believe in God.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM GAME SHOWS
1. I have 55 contradictions I found in the Bible, and you have 15 seconds to answer them.
2. (Theme from "Jeapardy" plays in the background)
3. AAHHHHHH... Time's up. So sorry; there are no parting gifts.
4. Therefore God doesn't exist.

ARGUMENT FROM MEASUREMENTS
1. Theists say that God is everywhere.
2. If God was everywhere, our instruments that measure things would show that he's there.
3. They don't.
4. Therefore, God does not exist

ARGUMENT FROM DESPERATION
1. If there is any possibility, even one in a billion billion billion, that the universe could exist without God's help, then that's exactly what happened.
2. Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION (one of my favorites)
1. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

[Edit: I keep finding more I like]

COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
1. If I say something doesn’t have a cause, it doesn’t have a cause.
2. I say the universe doesn’t have a cause.
3. Therefore, the universe doesn’t have a cause.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.


:D

[ocmpoma]

ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE
See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
That represents theism as a whole.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

[TheSnake]

ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF BELIEF
1. If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
2. I don’t believe in God.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
That's actually a pretty strong argument from an atheist, who's not (too) ignorant. I believe this was discussed on another thread.

[calpurnpiso]

Check out these 300 disproofs for god's existence (http://www.tektonics.org/guest/300proof.html). Here's a few to get you started...

ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF BELIEF
1. If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
2. I don’t believe in God.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM GAME SHOWS
1. I have 55 contradictions I found in the Bible, and you have 15 seconds to answer them.
2. (Theme from "Jeapardy" plays in the background)
3. AAHHHHHH... Time's up. So sorry; there are no parting gifts.
4. Therefore God doesn't exist.

ARGUMENT FROM MEASUREMENTS
1. Theists say that God is everywhere.
2. If God was everywhere, our instruments that measure things would show that he's there.
3. They don't.
4. Therefore, God does not exist

ARGUMENT FROM DESPERATION
1. If there is any possibility, even one in a billion billion billion, that the universe could exist without God's help, then that's exactly what happened.
2. Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION (one of my favorites)
1. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

[Edit: I keep finding more I like]

COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
1. If I say something doesn’t have a cause, it doesn’t have a cause.
2. I say the universe doesn’t have a cause.
3. Therefore, the universe doesn’t have a cause.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.


:D
Hmm...here is a very down to earth proof Jesus/god exists only in Christ-psychosis infected brains:

"JESUS EXISTENCE TEST- Drastic #1

One can go to a top of a twenty story building bring a Babble start praying and quoting praying and still quoting and praying to the "Lord and Saviour" so he would assist us and save us when one Jumps from the top floor. Pray that "Saviour Jesus" make someone place matresses below, or make some truck driver carrying soft stuff, park his truck full of sponge rubber below to soften one's landing. This should be very easy for this "saviour" since he has the ability to get into people's minds.

Well, one will find out, the Jesus Myth will NOT show up and prayers to any myths, including the tooth fairy, are never answered. Since he failed to show up or answer prayers one will find oneself splatered on the pavement below !. Jesus is plainly a mental aberration caused by a neurological disorder that exists ONLY on brains that are infected with a type of schizophrenic disorder and temporal lobe epylepsy which I refer to as Christ-psychosis. Jesus is a real as the Tooth Fairy, Sauroman or Allah..and besides, not matter how much one would praise his "name" he will be UNABLE to save us for he doesn't exist. We created gods and demons with our brains. Same delusions but with an opposite purpose. '

One must remember that facts are facts while illusions accepted as facts is for nuts...:)

[Philboid Studge]

ARGUMENT FROM APOLOGETICS WEBPAGES
1. I was surfing the Net and came across this webpage of apologetics.
2. Their arguments were stupid. A monkey could refute them.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
Heh heh heh. Monkeys are funny.

[Tenspace]

ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS
God doesn’t exist.
I don't give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to do than to try to convince you morons.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
F--- you.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

[ghoulslime]

ARGUMENT FROM MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS
God doesn’t exist.
Bug me with your god bullshit, and you will get my foot up your ass.
My foot is not in your ass.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

[Lurker]

ARGUMENT FROM MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS
God doesn’t exist.
Bug me with your god bullshit, and you will get my foot up your ass.
My foot is not in your ass.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
Crude but very funny.

[TheSnake]

# ARGUMENT FROM DENYING THE BODY

1. Theists like to think that they can control their "sinful" desires.
2. But they're theists, so they can't.
3. Therefore, some theists feel the need to take no enjoyment in anything because they are always worrying about committing sin.
4. This just goes to show how their belief in God is damaging to their lives.
5. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
:)

[HarryIsAlwaysRight]

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth....
- Big Bang Cosmology, the Bible taught it first." - lurker
Resident Raving Theist

Doesn't quite go into the same detail though. Oh and it uses that whole god concept which is, well, disproven.

[vheltrite]

# ARGUMENT FROM DENYING THE BODY

1. Theists like to think that they can control their "sinful" desires.
2. But they're theists, so they can't.
3. Therefore, some theists feel the need to take no enjoyment in anything because they are always worrying about committing sin.
4. This just goes to show how their belief in God is damaging to their lives.
5. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
:)
certainly................

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

# ARGUMENT FROM DENYING THE BODY

1. Theists like to think that they can control their "sinful" desires.
2. But they're theists, so they can't.
3. Therefore, some theists feel the need to take no enjoyment in anything because they are always worrying about committing sin.
4. This just goes to show how their belief in God is damaging to their lives.
5. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
:)
This proof isn't complete. You'd have to show that if God existed, then no one who believed that he existed would be worse off for believing in him.

[WigWam]

Hmm...here is a very down to earth proof Jesus/god exists only in Christ-psychosis infected brains:

"JESUS EXISTENCE TEST- Drastic #1

One can go to a top of a twenty story building bring a Babble start praying and quoting praying and still quoting and praying to the "Lord and Saviour" so he would assist us and save us when one Jumps from the top floor. Pray that "Saviour Jesus" make someone place matresses below, or make some truck driver carrying soft stuff, park his truck full of sponge rubber below to soften one's landing. This should be very easy for this "saviour" since he has the ability to get into people's minds.

Well, one will find out, the Jesus Myth will NOT show up and prayers to any myths, including the tooth fairy, are never answered. Since he failed to show up or answer prayers one will find oneself splatered on the pavement below !. Jesus is plainly a mental aberration caused by a neurological disorder that exists ONLY on brains that are infected with a type of schizophrenic disorder and temporal lobe epylepsy which I refer to as Christ-psychosis. Jesus is a real as the Tooth Fairy, Sauroman or Allah..and besides, not matter how much one would praise his "name" he will be UNABLE to save us for he doesn't exist. We created gods and demons with our brains. Same delusions but with an opposite purpose. '

One must remember that facts are facts while illusions accepted as facts is for nuts...:)
This reminds me of a joke that was told to me once:

A few years ago the river began rising beyond its capacity. It was determined that the levee would not hlod and an evacuation was ordered.

A sheriff's deputy was driving by and double-checking that everyone had already evaacuated when he cam across a single man who refused to leave his house. The duputy yelled through his bullhorn at the man, but the man shouted back "I am staying right here. God will save me". Frustrated, but knowing the levee was starting to break, the deputy drove on.

The levee did break and began to flood the land. The stubborn man crawled out a window and onto his roof. As the waters rose over half-way up the house, small group in a boat drove up and shouted to him, begging him to come with them. The man argued with the group and shouted back "I going to stay right here on my house. God will save me."

The water levels continued to rise. Being absolutely amazing that the house was still standing with water pressure, the man continued to wait. As the water levels started to come over the edge of the roof, a helicopter came by and dropped a rope ladder. "Climb on and hold on to the ladder", they team shouted from the helicopter, "the water is rising and you won't make it". The man shouted back "I believe in God, I have prayed that God will save me. I am staying right here. God will save me." After another minute of pleeding with the man, the helicopter left to another rescue.

The man drowned.

In the after life, the man came face to face with God. He had one big question on his mind, so he asked it.

"God, I have one question for you. I prayed for you to save me from the flood. I believed you would save me. Did you not hear my prayer".

God answered "I heard your prayer. I sent you the deputy, a boat, and a helicopter. I have one question for you... What are you doing here?"

[calpurnpiso]

Hmm...here is a very down to earth proof Jesus/god exists only in Christ-psychosis infected brains:

"JESUS EXISTENCE TEST- Drastic #1

One can go to a top of a twenty story building bring a Babble start praying and quoting praying and still quoting and praying to the "Lord and Saviour" so he would assist us and save us when one Jumps from the top floor. Pray that "Saviour Jesus" make someone place matresses below, or make some truck driver carrying soft stuff, park his truck full of sponge rubber below to soften one's landing. This should be very easy for this "saviour" since he has the ability to get into people's minds.

Well, one will find out, the Jesus Myth will NOT show up and prayers to any myths, including the tooth fairy, are never answered. Since he failed to show up or answer prayers one will find oneself splatered on the pavement below !. Jesus is plainly a mental aberration caused by a neurological disorder that exists ONLY on brains that are infected with a type of schizophrenic disorder and temporal lobe epylepsy which I refer to as Christ-psychosis. Jesus is a real as the Tooth Fairy, Sauroman or Allah..and besides, not matter how much one would praise his "name" he will be UNABLE to save us for he doesn't exist. We created gods and demons with our brains. Same delusions but with an opposite purpose. '

One must remember that facts are facts while illusions accepted as facts is for nuts...:)
This reminds me of a joke that was told to me once:

A few years ago the river began rising beyond its capacity. It was determined that the levee would not hlod and an evacuation was ordered.

A sheriff's deputy was driving by and double-checking that everyone had already evaacuated when he cam across a single man who refused to leave his house. The duputy yelled through his bullhorn at the man, but the man shouted back "I am staying right here. God will save me". Frustrated, but knowing the levee was starting to break, the deputy drove on.

The levee did break and began to flood the land. The stubborn man crawled out a window and onto his roof. As the waters rose over half-way up the house, small group in a boat drove up and shouted to him, begging him to come with them. The man argued with the group and shouted back "I going to stay right here on my house. God will save me."

The water levels continued to rise. Being absolutely amazing that the house was still standing with water pressure, the man continued to wait. As the water levels started to come over the edge of the roof, a helicopter came by and dropped a rope ladder. "Climb on and hold on to the ladder", they team shouted from the helicopter, "the water is rising and you won't make it". The man shouted back "I believe in God, I have prayed that God will save me. I am staying right here. God will save me." After another minute of pleeding with the man, the helicopter left to another rescue.

The man drowned.

In the after life, the man came face to face with God. He had one big question on his mind, so he asked it.

"God, I have one question for you. I prayed for you to save me from the flood. I believed you would save me. Did you not hear my prayer".

God answered "I heard your prayer. I sent you the deputy, a boat, and a helicopter. I have one question for you... What are you doing here?"
This is a non sequitur. My JET has been ignored. Do you change the subject because you already know the results?..... Here is another JET and you'll not haver to jump...Enjoy:)

JESUS EXISTENCE TEST Mild.

Go to a hospice and find a terminally ill patient suffering from cancer. It is important to visit a devoted Christian patient and not an atheist to make this test more effective. Read the Babble with him/her and "rebuke" all of the demons possible, keep reading, quoting and praying for one hour each day for a week so the patient be "saved" by the saviour from such disease. You'll find out that not matter how much you pray, the "saviour" could NOT save anybody from anything so the patient WILL die. So, why bother and believe in such fantasies? It is actually counter productive since it gives people FALSE hopes and when REALITY sets in; landing in the world of reality could be devastating.

Remember PRAYERS are USELESS and the utterances of FOOLS. Self hypnosis and inner thought control works better...Why believe in something that NEVER shows up, and exist only in our imagination?

[WigWam]

JESUS EXISTENCE TEST Mild.

Go to a hospice and find a terminally ill patient suffering from cancer. It is important to visit a devoted Christian patient and not an atheist to make this test more effective. Read the Babble with him/her and "rebuke" all of the demons possible, keep reading, quoting and praying for one hour each day for a week so the patient be "saved" by the saviour from such disease. You'll find out that not matter how much you pray, the "saviour" could NOT save anybody from anything so the patient WILL die. So, why bother and believe in such fantasies? It is actually counter productive since it gives people FALSE hopes and when REALITY sets in; landing in the world of reality could be devastating.
First, if you believe in the Bible you know the test will probably not work: Deuteronomy 6:16a "You shall not put the LORD your God to the test...". This was again quoted in Matthew 4:7. In fact, the case in Matthew 4 is very similar to your first test... throw yourself from a building.

However, seeing miracles work does not require testing. Here is just one minor example from my family.

A few years ago my grandmother was going in for a root canal. The x-rays had shown great decay and the dentist has seen it himself. Now, my grandmother has had her share of trials with health problems, and she is very close to the Lord. (not that the two have anything to do with each other, but anyway...) It always seems that when grandma prays hard, things happen. She doesn't usually pray for herself. In this case, however, she prayed hard for the Lord to help her with this. She really didn't think she could take another root-canal or go through with the procedure.

Well, the day came and she went in. The gave her the novacane and went in with the drill. The drill wouldn't go into the tooth like it was supposed to. The dentist re-examined the tooth at this time and found no trace of the decay that had been there the week prior. They charged her for the novacane and sent her home.

Not your "get up and walk" story, but a true one none the less.

Remember PRAYERS are USELESS and the utterances of FOOLS. Self hypnosis and inner thought control works better...Why believe in something that NEVER shows up, and exist only in our imagination?
I ask the same thing of people who buy lottery tickets.

[Kamikaze189]

JESUS EXISTENCE TEST Mild.

Go to a hospice and find a terminally ill patient suffering from cancer. It is important to visit a devoted Christian patient and not an atheist to make this test more effective. Read the Babble with him/her and "rebuke" all of the demons possible, keep reading, quoting and praying for one hour each day for a week so the patient be "saved" by the saviour from such disease. You'll find out that not matter how much you pray, the "saviour" could NOT save anybody from anything so the patient WILL die. So, why bother and believe in such fantasies? It is actually counter productive since it gives people FALSE hopes and when REALITY sets in; landing in the world of reality could be devastating.
First, if you believe in the Bible you know the test will probably not work: Deuteronomy 6:16a "You shall not put the LORD your God to the test...". This was again quoted in Matthew 4:7. In fact, the case in Matthew 4 is very similar to your first test... throw yourself from a building.

However, seeing miracles work does not require testing. Here is just one minor example from my family.

A few years ago my grandmother was going in for a root canal. The x-rays had shown great decay and the dentist has seen it himself. Now, my grandmother has had her share of trials with health problems, and she is very close to the Lord. (not that the two have anything to do with each other, but anyway...) It always seems that when grandma prays hard, things happen. She doesn't usually pray for herself. In this case, however, she prayed hard for the Lord to help her with this. She really didn't think she could take another root-canal or go through with the procedure.

Well, the day came and she went in. The gave her the novacane and went in with the drill. The drill wouldn't go into the tooth like it was supposed to. The dentist re-examined the tooth at this time and found no trace of the decay that had been there the week prior. They charged her for the novacane and sent her home.

Not your "get up and walk" story, but a true one none the less.

Remember PRAYERS are USELESS and the utterances of FOOLS. Self hypnosis and inner thought control works better...Why believe in something that NEVER shows up, and exist only in our imagination?
I ask the same thing of people who buy lottery tickets.
Of course, it makes more sense to say it was a miracle than to question the dentist or the equipment he used. :rolleyes:

[ghoulslime]

JESUS EXISTENCE TEST Mild.

Go to a hospice and find a terminally ill patient suffering from cancer. It is important to visit a devoted Christian patient and not an atheist to make this test more effective. Read the Babble with him/her and "rebuke" all of the demons possible, keep reading, quoting and praying for one hour each day for a week so the patient be "saved" by the saviour from such disease. You'll find out that not matter how much you pray, the "saviour" could NOT save anybody from anything so the patient WILL die. So, why bother and believe in such fantasies? It is actually counter productive since it gives people FALSE hopes and when REALITY sets in; landing in the world of reality could be devastating.
First, if you believe in the Bible you know the test will probably not work: Deuteronomy 6:16a "You shall not put the LORD your God to the test...". This was again quoted in Matthew 4:7. In fact, the case in Matthew 4 is very similar to your first test... throw yourself from a building.

However, seeing miracles work does not require testing. Here is just one minor example from my family.

A few years ago my grandmother was going in for a root canal. The x-rays had shown great decay and the dentist has seen it himself. Now, my grandmother has had her share of trials with health problems, and she is very close to the Lord. (not that the two have anything to do with each other, but anyway...) It always seems that when grandma prays hard, things happen. She doesn't usually pray for herself. In this case, however, she prayed hard for the Lord to help her with this. She really didn't think she could take another root-canal or go through with the procedure.

Well, the day came and she went in. The gave her the novacane and went in with the drill. The drill wouldn't go into the tooth like it was supposed to. The dentist re-examined the tooth at this time and found no trace of the decay that had been there the week prior. They charged her for the novacane and sent her home.

Not your "get up and walk" story, but a true one none the less.

Remember PRAYERS are USELESS and the utterances of FOOLS. Self hypnosis and inner thought control works better...Why believe in something that NEVER shows up, and exist only in our imagination?
I ask the same thing of people who buy lottery tickets.
Of course, it makes more sense to say it was a miracle than to question the dentist or the equipment he used. :rolleyes:
I get the impression this guy is the sort that sees the virgin mary on stop signs and pieces of toast. :lol::lol::lol:

[ghoulslime]

Hmm...here is a very down to earth proof Jesus/god exists only in Christ-psychosis infected brains:

"JESUS EXISTENCE TEST- Drastic #1

One can go to a top of a twenty story building bring a Babble start praying and quoting praying and still quoting and praying to the "Lord and Saviour" so he would assist us and save us when one Jumps from the top floor. Pray that "Saviour Jesus" make someone place matresses below, or make some truck driver carrying soft stuff, park his truck full of sponge rubber below to soften one's landing. This should be very easy for this "saviour" since he has the ability to get into people's minds.

Well, one will find out, the Jesus Myth will NOT show up and prayers to any myths, including the tooth fairy, are never answered. Since he failed to show up or answer prayers one will find oneself splatered on the pavement below !. Jesus is plainly a mental aberration caused by a neurological disorder that exists ONLY on brains that are infected with a type of schizophrenic disorder and temporal lobe epylepsy which I refer to as Christ-psychosis. Jesus is a real as the Tooth Fairy, Sauroman or Allah..and besides, not matter how much one would praise his "name" he will be UNABLE to save us for he doesn't exist. We created gods and demons with our brains. Same delusions but with an opposite purpose. '

One must remember that facts are facts while illusions accepted as facts is for nuts...:)
This reminds me of a joke that was told to me once:

A few years ago the river began rising beyond its capacity. It was determined that the levee would not hlod and an evacuation was ordered.

A sheriff's deputy was driving by and double-checking that everyone had already evaacuated when he cam across a single man who refused to leave his house. The duputy yelled through his bullhorn at the man, but the man shouted back "I am staying right here. God will save me". Frustrated, but knowing the levee was starting to break, the deputy drove on.

The levee did break and began to flood the land. The stubborn man crawled out a window and onto his roof. As the waters rose over half-way up the house, small group in a boat drove up and shouted to him, begging him to come with them. The man argued with the group and shouted back "I going to stay right here on my house. God will save me."

The water levels continued to rise. Being absolutely amazing that the house was still standing with water pressure, the man continued to wait. As the water levels started to come over the edge of the roof, a helicopter came by and dropped a rope ladder. "Climb on and hold on to the ladder", they team shouted from the helicopter, "the water is rising and you won't make it". The man shouted back "I believe in God, I have prayed that God will save me. I am staying right here. God will save me." After another minute of pleeding with the man, the helicopter left to another rescue.

The man drowned.

In the after life, the man came face to face with God. He had one big question on his mind, so he asked it.

"God, I have one question for you. I prayed for you to save me from the flood. I believed you would save me. Did you not hear my prayer".

God answered "I heard your prayer. I sent you the deputy, a boat, and a helicopter. I have one question for you... What are you doing here?"
What a wonderful story! Golly gee, a single tear rolls down my cheek!

Let me share a little story with you.

A few years back, (I think it was 1997) I was in Korea. I had reservations on Korean Airlines to fly to Guam. I was planning on going there for 5 days with a neighbor lady, to have a screw-a-thon. A few days before we were set to leave, the lady (who was married) found out that a group of Christians living in her apartment complex were going to Guam the exact same time on the exact same flight. We had no choice but to cancel our trip and take our losses. (I think we got a 25% refund)

We ended up going to a small town on the coast of Korea (Sok Cho) for the weekend, where I stuck it to her like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. On our return home, we heard the news of the Korean Airline flight to Guam. The plane we had almost ridden on had crashed onto the top of a mountain in Guam, scattering the burned pieces of unfortunate passengers across the mountain top. All of the godly Christians were torn to smoldering pieces of meat. Ghoulslime and the neighbor lady lived happily ever after, screwing in Sok Cho.

There is no loving god watching over the praying Christians, no god to do your grandmother’s dentistry. You are deluded. If you need an explanation as to why you are deluded, please refer to calpurnpiso’s many posts or ask him directly. I’m sure as our resident Christ-psychosis expert, he will be delighted to tell you why you believe there is a magic man in the sky watching over the good girls and boys.

If there was a loving god to answer prayers, then bad things would happen less proportionately to the pious. Sorry, Linus! There is no Great Pumpkin!

[WigWam]

Let me share a little story with you.

A few years back, (I think it was 1997) I was in Korea. I had reservations on Korean Airlines to fly to Guam. I was planning on going there for 5 days with a neighbor lady, to have a screw-a-thon. A few days before we were set to leave, the lady (who was married) found out that a group of Christians living in her apartment complex were going to Guam the exact same time on the exact same flight. We had no choice but to cancel our trip and take our losses. (I think we got a 25% refund)

We ended up going to a small town on the coast of Korea (Sok Cho) for the weekend, where I stuck it to her like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. On our return home, we heard the news of the Korean Airline flight to Guam. The plane we had almost ridden on had crashed onto the top of a mountain in Guam, scattering the burned pieces of unfortunate passengers across the mountain top. All of the godly Christians were torn to smoldering pieces of meat. Ghoulslime and the neighbor lady lived happily ever after, screwing in Sok Cho.

There is no loving god watching over the praying Christians, no god to do your grandmother’s dentistry. You are deluded. If you need an explanation as to why you are deluded, please refer to calpurnpiso’s many posts or ask him directly. I’m sure as our resident Christ-psychosis expert, he will be delighted to tell you why you believe there is a magic man in the sky watching over the good girls and boys.

If there was a loving god to answer prayers, then bad things would happen less proportionately to the pious. Sorry, Linus! There is no Great Pumpkin!
First of all, if you believe that the God we worship is literally an "Old man in the sky", then you have a different view of God than I do.

I believe that God is a spiritual being that created everything -- from the matter/energy system, to the laws of physics, to time itself.

Secondly, those Christians on the plane have already been saved and had their sins forgiven. Maybe He was giving you another chance. I believe that God does interact with our lives, but whether he chooses to intervene in a certain circumstance or not is literally up to Him. Neither you nor I could possible know the full effect of that plane crashing, including all of the lives it affected besides those on that plane. We do know it had some effect on you, for example, but how many others? And how many of those lives were changed that they had an effect on others?

On a side note, I think you got a bargain. 75% of the cost of a flight vs. living... hmmm....

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

Secondly, those Christians on the plane have already been saved and had their sins forgiven. Maybe He was giving you another chance. I believe that God does interact with our lives, but whether he chooses to intervene in a certain circumstance or not is literally up to Him. Neither you nor I could possible know the full effect of that plane crashing, including all of the lives it affected besides those on that plane. We do know it had some effect on you, for example, but how many others? And how many of those lives were changed that they had an effect on others?
Hold on a sec:

1 ) In the first story you presented, God was trying to save a Christian who asked for his help (though the guy didn't see God's help when it was given). In this case, you seem to be saying that the Christians' deaths on the plane aren't as big a deal because they were already saved. So what's the deal? Does God routinely help Christians out in life-or-death situations, or not?

2 ) On the other hand, it's probable that there were non-Christians other than ghoulslime on that flight. If so, then they're now roasting in hell. What made ghoulslime and his girlfriend so special? Does God routinely give non-Christians a second chance in life-or-death situations, or not?

3 ) In any case, saving ghoulslime seemed to have the opposite effect that was intended. He looks back on that situation and thinks "Haha, all those Christians wasting their time and energy praying to God, and look where it got them!".

Taken altogether, it seems that the practical benefits of being a Christian on this Earth aren't any greater than those of being a non-Christian. Shit happens to Christians and non-Christians equally; good things happen to both equally. It's just a difference in how Christians and non-Christians interpret what pretty much amounts to a stroke of good/bad luck.

[WigWam]

Secondly, those Christians on the plane have already been saved and had their sins forgiven. Maybe He was giving you another chance. I believe that God does interact with our lives, but whether he chooses to intervene in a certain circumstance or not is literally up to Him. Neither you nor I could possible know the full effect of that plane crashing, including all of the lives it affected besides those on that plane. We do know it had some effect on you, for example, but how many others? And how many of those lives were changed that they had an effect on others?
Hold on a sec:

1 ) In the first story you presented, God was trying to save a Christian who asked for his help (though the guy didn't see God's help when it was given). In this case, you seem to be saying that the Christians' deaths on the plane aren't as big a deal because they were already saved. So what's the deal? Does God routinely help Christians out in life-or-death situations, or not?
The first story was not based on fact at all, just a joke. [Rimshot please] The only lesson in it would be that sometimes we may just simply not be accepting God's help when it is right in front of our faces.

Routinely help Christians? I would say yes, but each situation is unique. Sometimes what we see as bad may be for the greater good. We can not be certain.

2 ) On the other hand, it's probable that there were non-Christians other than ghoulslime on that flight. If so, then they're now roasting in hell. What made ghoulslime and his girlfriend so special? Does God routinely give non-Christians a second chance in life-or-death situations, or not?
I don't know. I have known situations where I strongly believe this was the case.

3 ) In any case, saving ghoulslime seemed to have the opposite effect that was intended. He looks back on that situation and thinks "Haha, all those Christians wasting their time and energy praying to God, and look where it got them!".
Same answer as above. As for ghoulslime, you never know. He could be the next Appostle Paul. :) -- Maybe not, but stranger things have happened.

Christains, however, do not necessarily judge sucess or failure on what happens here. When it time to go home, it is time to go home.

Taken altogether, it seems that the practical benefits of being a Christian on this Earth aren't any greater than those of being a non-Christian. Shit happens to Christians and non-Christians equally; good things happen to both equally. It's just a difference in how Christians and non-Christians interpret what pretty much amounts to a stroke of good/bad luck.
That is one way of looking at it. I look at it as stuff happens to everyone, but it is a whole lot easier when someone is with you when it does happen.

[Evil_Mage_Ra]

As for ghoulslime, you never know. He could be the next Appostle Paul. :)
:lol: That'd certainly be interesting to see! (Check out some of his posts, and you'll see what I mean!)

[ghoulslime]

As for ghoulslime, you never know. He could be the next Appostle Paul. :)
:lol: That'd certainly be interesting to see! (Check out some of his posts, and you'll see what I mean!)
I like the sound of that! Apostle Ghoulslime! It really rolls off the tongue! Dominus, cuminus in my buminus!

[ynotbegoodtoall]

I dont think they missed one.

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

The one i hear the most is 73...

ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)
(1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
(2) Atheist: of course.
(3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
(4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.
(5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
(6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
(8) Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
(9) I'm glad we all agree.....
....
(37) So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
(38) Atheist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?
....
(81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true. Agreed?
(82) I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!?
....
(177) ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously valid. Agreed?
(178) [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]
(179) Therefore, God exists.
ROMANS 10:13 FOR WHOSOEVER SHALL CALL UPON THE NAME OF THE LORD, SHALL BE SAVED.
UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF THE 300+ THOUSAND PEOPLE WIPED OUT BY THE TSUNAMI, 10 OR SO MILLIONS KILLED BY AIDS, 10 OR SO MILLIONS WHO DIE EACH YEAR FROM HUNGER INCLUDING WOMEN AND CHILDREN!
UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF THE MILLIONS THAT DIE EACH YEAR FROM CANCER!

I'M SURE A BUNCH OF THESE PEOPLE WHO DIED CRIED OUT TO GOD TO SAVE THEM!
THEREFORE, GOD DOESN'T EXIST!!!! OR HE IS A COMPLETE A-SHOLE!

[AGENT-ADAIR]

My reason for a god:

My cousins brother saw Jesus.
Therefore god exists.

[AGENT-ADAIR]

I dont think they missed one.

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

The one i hear the most is 73...

ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)
(1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
(2) Atheist: of course.
(3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
(4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.
(5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
(6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
(8) Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
(9) I'm glad we all agree.....
....
(37) So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
(38) Atheist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?
....
(81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true. Agreed?
(82) I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!?
....
(177) ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously valid. Agreed?
(178) [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]
(179) Therefore, God exists.
ROMANS 10:13 FOR WHOSOEVER SHALL CALL UPON THE NAME OF THE LORD, SHALL BE SAVED.
UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF THE 300+ THOUSAND PEOPLE WIPED OUT BY THE TSUNAMI, 10 OR SO MILLIONS KILLED BY AIDS, 10 OR SO MILLIONS WHO DIE EACH YEAR FROM HUNGER INCLUDING WOMEN AND CHILDREN!
UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF THE MILLIONS THAT DIE EACH YEAR FROM CANCER!

I'M SURE A BUNCH OF THESE PEOPLE WHO DIED CRIED OUT TO GOD TO SAVE THEM!
THEREFORE, GOD DOESN'T EXIST!!!! OR HE IS A COMPLETE A-SHOLE!
He is an asshole to the millionth power.

But then again, how can a fictional metaphore be an asshole?

[ProveIt]

One must remember that facts are facts while illusions accepted as facts is for nuts...:)
This reminds me of a joke that was told to me once:
So, your saying that if it had been me on the roof... and I had not been praying... the deputy, the boat and the helicopter would have what.... gone by without offering to save my life? I think not...