VBS Horror stories

[Leela]

Does anyone have any horror stories from an experience at a Vacation Bible School?
I was raised Catholic, but attended two baptist vacation bible schools as a child with friends. Both were bad experiences. I am quite sure I made it clear that I already had a religion when I went. In one instance, a preacher told us all we were going to burn in hell if we were not "saved". Of course I went along with it, that's what kids do. He proceeded to save us, while my best friend bawled uncontrollably. I sat through it like a statue. Even as a child, I was insulted that this stranger was trying to change the entire way my parents had chosen to raise me. The second VBS I was asked to give my address and phone number to the preacher so he may come over and talk to me and my family. Of course, I gave it to him. Children don't say no to adults. I remember the first thing I told my mother was I do NOT want this man coming to our house...we just aren't going to answer the phone. Funny, I'm not aware of him even trying to contact us. The sheer arrogance. Was Catholicism not a good enough form of Christianity for them? At least Catholics know how to have fun.

[Another brick in the wall]

I helped at a vacation bible school, even after I was fairly vocally non-religious (not quite atheist yet). The theme was outdoor adventures and since I'm an Eagle Scout, my Mom asked me to teach the kids about different kinds of knots. I figured it would be a fun thing and unlike all the religious bullshit that was being taught, at least knots are useful for something.

When I was younger, I was subjected to the dual horrors of both Mormon and Episcopal youth groups. It's like being stretched on the rack. Or maybe like being a double agent. You have to pretend to be Mormon enough to avoid punishment with them and also Episcopal enough to avoid punishment with them. When I was 16, I got a weekend job ostensibly to earn money, but mostly it was an excuse to get away from church.

[Sternwallow]

All of my friends were going to VBS so, in order to be with them, I asked to go as well. I had yet to discover the value of uninterrupted solitude. The teacher, some housewife, not the minister, taught us about Jesus and being good and stuff, nothing that I can remember. But, it was much less intense than the nuns in "religious instruction". Those poor deluded women told us whoppers so outrageous that even the serious Catholic kids balked at them.

"Catholic boys and girls commit a sin if they swim at the YMCA and pay a locker fee because that money goes to support heresy."

nun:"It is a sin to tell a 'double-meaning joke'"
kid:"My jokes only have one meaning, sister"

[Sternwallow]

People are no damn good, but in the intense competition for my affection, some people fare better than almost any lower animal of my acquaintance.