ghoulslime
08-31-2005, 02:51 PM
Aloha!
Ghoulslime is back from Hawaii!
(I would be a liar if I said I didn't miss my raving associates at The Raving Atheist.)
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/beachphone.jpg
As most of the trip was for business, there isn’t much to blog. I would rather not mention anything in context with my job, so it only leaves extracurricular activities. I will try to do my best to entertain you. After all, what good is Ghoulslime if he is not entertaining? :D
Let’s start in the airplane. I flew on American Airlines. It is a total trash pile of an airline. The flight attendants are ugly and rude. There is no meal except for a really bad sandwich you must purchase. Bad service….very bad service!
*******************************
I knew I was in trouble when I found my seat and saw a strange-looking dude already sitting in the seat next to mine. His body aroma had already influenced the surrounding area enough for the nearby passengers to look at me with pity as I sat next to him. He REALLY stank. The most disturbing aspect of my seat mate was his constant scratching. He kept scratching his head and arms, and I mean nonstop for 5 hours! I couldn’t help but wonder if he had some kind of bugs: fleas, lice, aliens, something. (As I type this, I have to scratch my own head thinking about it.)
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/stinky.jpg
I found out that he is from Israel, and works in a zoo. I made the mistake of telling him I am from Los Angeles.
SAMPLE TRANSCRIPT OF 5 HOUR FLIGHT TO HAWAII:
“You know Chuck Norris?”
“Sure.”
“Where he live?”
“Well, I’m really not sure.”
“He live in Hawaii?”
“Well, I’m really not sure.”
“He very nice man.”
“You know David Carradine?”
“Sure.”
“Where he live?”
“Well, I’m really not sure.”
“He live in Hawaii?”
“Well, I’m really not sure.”
“He very nice man.”
“You know Arnold Schwarzenegger?”
“Sure.”
“Where he live?”
“Well, he lives in Sacramento. He’s the governor of California”
“He live in Hawaii?”
“No. I’m pretty sure he lives in Sacramento”
“He very nice man.”
*******************************
OK. For those who have never been to Hawaii, the Island of Oahu, especially the area of Waikiki, is basically a tourist trap. There is a lot of bullshit: exorbitantly priced luaus, crappy Hawaiian music playing everywhere, shameless trinket vendors still trying to capitalize off of Elvis. Aside from getting sunburned next to the ocean and buying overpriced ‘Hawaiian’ made-in-china junk from shops, there ain’t much to jump up and down about. This is just my opinion of course.
I had forgotten how hot and humid it gets in Hawaii. It always looks beautiful in the pictures, but in reality, all you think about is the blazing sun and the sweat running down your back into your underwear.
Hawaiians are, for the most part, very friendly. I always forget what shallow assholes most southern Californians are until I go to someplace like Hawaii. This would be an easy place to make friends. If you lived there, it would take about 3 months to have a full black book full of nice girls’ names and phone numbers.
Ghoulslime was in complete work mode, making no attempt to hit on anybody or pick up chicks. (Really) Yet, the people interact of their own free will! Amazing! Hawaiians are great, men and women! The friendliness is infectious. Even white chicks from Pasadena seem almost human when they are in Hawaii.
*******************************
GHOULSLIME’S HAPPY PHILANDERER REPORT:
Lateisha? Latreisha? Lakeisha?
(I asked her three times and still couldn’t understand, so I just put her number into my cell and guessed at the name.)
We had lunch and planned to meet later, but she was too far away from Waikiki and I was too busy.
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/lattreisha.jpg
Besides work, one of the things I was busy with was Meiko. I met her at the food court of a mall. She was on holiday from Japan.
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/Meiko.jpg
I spent almost all of my free time with her, including two very fine bouts of bed wrestling.
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/Meikomouth.jpg
Yum. Yum. I can’t wait to take a trip to Japan.
*******************************
Ala Moana Beach
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/beach.jpg
Ghoulslime in his hula hula shirt.
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/hulaGhoul.jpg
Pearl Harbor
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/pearlharbor.jpg
USS Arizona
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/Arizona.jpg
Many beautiful birds in Hawaii!
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/birds.jpg
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/bird2.jpg
(Does anybody know what kind of birds these are?
*******************************
Something disturbing that I noticed was how sanitized of sin Hawaii has become since the last time I went there. The pot vendors are gone from the back streets. The streetwalkers are gone from the canal. Even the only decent strip show in town has been closed down. It appears that the Christians have been working very hard to make sure all of their morals are adhered to. They even advertise on TV that their goal is to make Hawaii a Christian haven. There were 48 channels on my hotel TV. 6 of them were Christian stations. If my math is correct that comes out to be too-fucking-many%.
*******************************
Alright, let’s end this report on a positive note!
GHOULSLIME’S GOLDEN JUGS AWARD:
The golden jug award goes to these fine balloons. (I had a better one of her standing up, but it didn’t come out very well.)
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/tittygirl.jpg
Jesus, bless these tits!
And that concludes Ghoulslime’s report on Hawaii. I testify this in the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, AHHHHHHH….oh yeah…that’s the way daddy likes it….MEN.
Ghoulslime is back from Hawaii!
(I would be a liar if I said I didn't miss my raving associates at The Raving Atheist.)
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/beachphone.jpg
As most of the trip was for business, there isn’t much to blog. I would rather not mention anything in context with my job, so it only leaves extracurricular activities. I will try to do my best to entertain you. After all, what good is Ghoulslime if he is not entertaining? :D
Let’s start in the airplane. I flew on American Airlines. It is a total trash pile of an airline. The flight attendants are ugly and rude. There is no meal except for a really bad sandwich you must purchase. Bad service….very bad service!
*******************************
I knew I was in trouble when I found my seat and saw a strange-looking dude already sitting in the seat next to mine. His body aroma had already influenced the surrounding area enough for the nearby passengers to look at me with pity as I sat next to him. He REALLY stank. The most disturbing aspect of my seat mate was his constant scratching. He kept scratching his head and arms, and I mean nonstop for 5 hours! I couldn’t help but wonder if he had some kind of bugs: fleas, lice, aliens, something. (As I type this, I have to scratch my own head thinking about it.)
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/stinky.jpg
I found out that he is from Israel, and works in a zoo. I made the mistake of telling him I am from Los Angeles.
SAMPLE TRANSCRIPT OF 5 HOUR FLIGHT TO HAWAII:
“You know Chuck Norris?”
“Sure.”
“Where he live?”
“Well, I’m really not sure.”
“He live in Hawaii?”
“Well, I’m really not sure.”
“He very nice man.”
“You know David Carradine?”
“Sure.”
“Where he live?”
“Well, I’m really not sure.”
“He live in Hawaii?”
“Well, I’m really not sure.”
“He very nice man.”
“You know Arnold Schwarzenegger?”
“Sure.”
“Where he live?”
“Well, he lives in Sacramento. He’s the governor of California”
“He live in Hawaii?”
“No. I’m pretty sure he lives in Sacramento”
“He very nice man.”
*******************************
OK. For those who have never been to Hawaii, the Island of Oahu, especially the area of Waikiki, is basically a tourist trap. There is a lot of bullshit: exorbitantly priced luaus, crappy Hawaiian music playing everywhere, shameless trinket vendors still trying to capitalize off of Elvis. Aside from getting sunburned next to the ocean and buying overpriced ‘Hawaiian’ made-in-china junk from shops, there ain’t much to jump up and down about. This is just my opinion of course.
I had forgotten how hot and humid it gets in Hawaii. It always looks beautiful in the pictures, but in reality, all you think about is the blazing sun and the sweat running down your back into your underwear.
Hawaiians are, for the most part, very friendly. I always forget what shallow assholes most southern Californians are until I go to someplace like Hawaii. This would be an easy place to make friends. If you lived there, it would take about 3 months to have a full black book full of nice girls’ names and phone numbers.
Ghoulslime was in complete work mode, making no attempt to hit on anybody or pick up chicks. (Really) Yet, the people interact of their own free will! Amazing! Hawaiians are great, men and women! The friendliness is infectious. Even white chicks from Pasadena seem almost human when they are in Hawaii.
*******************************
GHOULSLIME’S HAPPY PHILANDERER REPORT:
Lateisha? Latreisha? Lakeisha?
(I asked her three times and still couldn’t understand, so I just put her number into my cell and guessed at the name.)
We had lunch and planned to meet later, but she was too far away from Waikiki and I was too busy.
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/lattreisha.jpg
Besides work, one of the things I was busy with was Meiko. I met her at the food court of a mall. She was on holiday from Japan.
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/Meiko.jpg
I spent almost all of my free time with her, including two very fine bouts of bed wrestling.
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/Meikomouth.jpg
Yum. Yum. I can’t wait to take a trip to Japan.
*******************************
Ala Moana Beach
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/beach.jpg
Ghoulslime in his hula hula shirt.
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/hulaGhoul.jpg
Pearl Harbor
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/pearlharbor.jpg
USS Arizona
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/Arizona.jpg
Many beautiful birds in Hawaii!
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/birds.jpg
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/bird2.jpg
(Does anybody know what kind of birds these are?
*******************************
Something disturbing that I noticed was how sanitized of sin Hawaii has become since the last time I went there. The pot vendors are gone from the back streets. The streetwalkers are gone from the canal. Even the only decent strip show in town has been closed down. It appears that the Christians have been working very hard to make sure all of their morals are adhered to. They even advertise on TV that their goal is to make Hawaii a Christian haven. There were 48 channels on my hotel TV. 6 of them were Christian stations. If my math is correct that comes out to be too-fucking-many%.
*******************************
Alright, let’s end this report on a positive note!
GHOULSLIME’S GOLDEN JUGS AWARD:
The golden jug award goes to these fine balloons. (I had a better one of her standing up, but it didn’t come out very well.)
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/tittygirl.jpg
Jesus, bless these tits!
And that concludes Ghoulslime’s report on Hawaii. I testify this in the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, AHHHHHHH….oh yeah…that’s the way daddy likes it….MEN.