Writers Needed

[anthonyjfuchs]

I am going to write a short story "gospel" about our One True God, Ricardo the Redeemer, who lived from 1946 to 1980. He was found abandoned as an infant outside a sheriff's station in Memphis, Tennessee, and eventually came to New York City to spread the Truth of Peace and Love. Naturally, he was killed only three years after beginning to spread his message.

I need three other writers to fabricate similar accounts of Ricardo's life and death, along with plenty of other stories about his followers and enemies. After we get about 66 stories or so, we will collect them into a book and publish them (without our names as authors) under a one-word title; we can decide on that title later.

[calpurnpiso]

I am going to write a short story "gospel" about our One True God, Ricardo the Redeemer, who lived from 1946 to 1980. He was found abandoned as an infant outside a sheriff's station in Memphis, Tennessee, and eventually came to New York City to spread the Truth of Peace and Love. Naturally, he was killed only three years after beginning to spread his message.

I need three other writers to fabricate similar accounts of Ricardo's life and death, along with plenty of other stories about his followers and enemies. After we get about 66 stories or so, we will collect them into a book and publish them (without our names as authors) under a one-word title; we can decide on that title later.
Hmmmm..great. I can imagine now, Ricardo's parents treck from Colombia through Central America crossing the Rio Grande into US, Mariana the mother being raped by KKK member while working as a maid in Biloxy. Her husband Jesus Maria unaware of this decided to take a Greyhound buss for Memphis in search of a better life. Mariana doing everything possible to keep her pregnancy hidden. Jesus Maria been the horny Colombian he was, he had few girlfriends......Mariana used this as a pretext and left him. Few months later on June 6th, 1946 she gave birth to a boy at her Memphis appartment, assisted by her Puerto Rican friend Anna. She wanted a better life for her son..so she wrapped him on a blanquet, placed him on a large bread basket made out of wicker and took him few blocks to a Fire Station. It was a dark, stormy moonless night.....finding a dry area which was surrounded by running water next to one of the fire engines, she left him...never to see her son again..........to be continued. :cool:

[anthonyjfuchs]

Hmmmm..great. I can imagine now...
That's pretty much how I heard the story (http://www.geocities.com/end_religion/Ricardo.html) too. You see, my father was one of Ricardo's most devout disciples until Ricardo's death; my father continued on spreading the Message with the other Redeemerites after that horrible day in the winter of 1980. My father told me many stories of their exploits before he was martyred in Greenwich Village. I know; he never saw it coming.

[RenaissanceMan]

It's too early to write stories about Ricardo. You need at least 40 years between when he died and was ressurected and the appearance of the first gospel. Just have him die in the 50's. At the hands of Communists. That will work.

Be sure to have stacks of letters written by a crazy homeless man during the 70's and 80's detailing the vision he had of Ricardo speaking to him and telling him to repent, for the world is about to end.

[anthonyjfuchs]

It's too early to write stories about Ricardo. You need at least 40 years between when he died and was ressurected and the appearance of the first gospel. Just have him die in the 50's. At the hands of Communists. That will work.
We can hash out his years somewhere down the line. I was basing Ricardo's years on the notion that the Mark gospel was written 60 years after the alleged birth of the Jesus character. Thus, 2006 - 60 = 1946. Of course, we can just change that at this early stage in the game.

Be sure to have stacks of letters written by a crazy homeless man during the 70's and 80's detailing the vision he had of Ricardo speaking to him and telling him to repent, for the world is about to end.
Naturally. I'll just whip up a few tonight. I think I'll write as Earl the Long-Winded for a while; I can knock out two epistles to the Vatican (telling them to repent and beg Ricardo's forgiveness for their millennia of false-idol worship), a letter to the Australians, the Germans, the Liechtensteinians, and first and second Canadians in the next few hours.

[BodaciousB]

wow! i had this exact same idea... to prove my "evolution of the bible theory" my story was going to be about the all powerful santa claus at the north pole... if your good and you belive in santa you will get to spend eternity playing with his tows at the north pole. and if your bad you have to make toys non-stop for all eternity..

ill see about writing a chapter or 2 for this project..

dont forget to make the book reference other parts of the book as true...

and including some geological/scientific fact allong with the made up crap. it will help the made up stuff pass for truth.

[anthonyjfuchs]

wow! i had this exact same idea... to prove my "evolution of the bible theory" my story was going to be about the all powerful santa claus at the north pole... if your good and you belive in santa you will get to spend eternity playing with his tows [sic] at the north pole. and if your [sic] bad you have to make toys non-stop for all eternity..

ill see about writing a chapter or 2 for this project..

My first suggestion?

Master the distinction between "your" and "you're." One is a possessive adjective; the other is a contraction. As in: "you're going to have to be careful with your grammar if you intend to convert millions of simple-minded sheeple."

My second suggestion: make peace with the apostrophe and come to terms with capitalization.

dont forget to make the book reference other parts of the book as true...
Prophecies made Ricardo's 30th great-grandmother in the first chapter come to fruition in later chapters.

and including some geological/scientific fact allong with the made up crap. it will help the made up stuff pass for truth.

Ricardo is a descendant of Doña Marina (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Malinche) and Hernán Cortés (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hernan_Cortes), and his mother was from Villa Hidalgo (http://www.geocities.com/tonyfuchs1019//VillaHidalgo.html) (a town along a road named Ceballos-Revolucion between Route 45 and Route 49 in Durango, Mexico, about 339 miles south-south-east of El Paso, Texas) before fleeing to De Soto (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Soto%2C_Iowa), where she gave birth to The Redeemer.

[Eva]

tony, are you ok?
you are responding to a post that is a year and a half old.......

[Choobus]

I'll do it.
or you can just take the gospel of the chooblog.

[anthonyjfuchs]

tony, are you ok?
you are responding to a post that is a year and a half old.......
Oh son-of-a-bloody-bitch...

I had a long fuckin day today. I linked to this thread from another one (http://ravingatheists.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13802), and I must have ended up back here by...some...fucking...and thought there was a new response to...my...fucking...

Nevermind me. I've apparently taken to talking to myself. This, clearly, is not my best work.

[Professor Chaos]

This thread was before my time, but I like the bump. I like the sounds of "The Gospel of Professor Chaos"