Divine comedy

[Demigod79]

No, not Dante:D

I was reading the story of the exodus the other day and realized just how comical it was. I mean, god says he will harden the heart of Pharaoh so he wouldn't let the Israelites go, then a few verses later he says "hmm, it seems Pharaoh won't let my people go". I can just imagine Moses saying "well no shit, god!" I'm thinking that we can make some kind of comedy out of the bible (sort of like a new divine comedy).

So anyone else find anything comical in the bible that can be used for a new divine comedy?

[Philboid Studge]

Onan. (http://ravingatheist.com/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=102225#p102225) That wanker couldn't catch a break.

[Silentknight]

Here's a good one that isn't even in the SAB.

Paul can literally bore people to death! (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%2020:7-12;&version=31;)

Acts 20:7-12

Eutychus Raised From the Dead at Troas

On the first day of the week we came together to break bread. Paul spoke to the people and, because he intended to leave the next day, kept on talking until midnight. There were many lamps in the upstairs room where we were meeting. Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. "Don't be alarmed," he said. "He's alive!" Then he went upstairs again and broke bread and ate. After talking until daylight, he left. The people took the young man home alive and were greatly comforted.

[calpurnpiso]

No, not Dante:D

I was reading the story of the exodus the other day and realized just how comical it was. I mean, god says he will harden the heart of Pharaoh so he wouldn't let the Israelites go, then a few verses later he says "hmm, it seems Pharaoh won't let my people go". I can just imagine Moses saying "well no shit, god!" I'm thinking that we can make some kind of comedy out of the bible (sort of like a new divine comedy).

So anyone else find anything comical in the bible that can be used for a new divine comedy?
lol..the babble is FULL of them!...he whole thing is a comedy....specially the Night of the Living Ancient Dead by Matthew ( matt 27 : 52-54 )

I think whoever does it will make millions..but it will have to hide from the ire of the Christ-psychotics who'll be after his/her satanic hyde. This Book " The Divine Bible Comedy" will make each Christ-psychotic the laughing stack of each city......people will stop going to church finally will awaken from their Christ-psychotic stupor of infinite ignorance...:lol:

[RenaissanceMan]

Yeah, if you read ANY part of the bible for 5 minutes, you realize that it's complete bullshit. Shit so outrageous you gotta wonder what they were thinking when they wrote it down.

Gee, why even stray from Exodus?

Do what I want... Or or... There will be frogs! Lots of frogs! Then you'll be so sorry!

First borns. Sweet! A Deity that can tell who was born first in each family needs SHEEP'S BLOOD on the door to identify the difference between an Egyptian and an Isrealite Slave. Hmm.

Parting of the red sea. Hmm. Gee, I would have just made the slaves be able to walk on water. Or teleported them... Or... NOT HAVE MADE THEM SLAVES IN THE FIRST PLACE.

If I was god? It would have gone down like this:

Pharoh: Ha! That fool Moses wants me to free the slaves! I don't think so!

The next day...

Pharoh: Where the hell are all the slaves? You! In the dress! Get me a bagel!
Head Priest: But, Sir! I'm your head priest!

Across the sea, in the warm, fertile lands of what will be Central America:

Moses: Thanks, God! This place is great! I can't believe we wanted to stay in that damn desert!

God: Word, Dog!

[Weasel]

On looker: I cant believe his really dead

Jesus: ya, good thing you found that guy to, for a minute there i thought i was really going to be crucified

On looker: poor Steve, well you best get in there, youve got some resurrecting to do.

Jesus: thanks Judas

Judas: any time