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Choobus
08-13-2005, 09:29 PM
I wonder is theists jerk off more often, less ooften or abot the same as atheists. Does christian guilt, for example, make it seem wrong, or add some excitement that leads to furious wanking?

We don't have a good sample here. Thomas, lurker, tell us of your mastubatory habits. I spank it at least once a day:P

Bighead
08-13-2005, 09:32 PM
I'm at LEAST once a day, usually twice, sometimes thrice. When I was still a xtian, it was maybe once a week...I thought that what I was doing was wrong and that god was going to hate me...then I learned to say fuck god and now I'm a happy 2x a day wanker.

ElGuapo
08-13-2005, 09:41 PM
Hmmm...I don't know. I wank the crank quite a bit.

Striver
08-14-2005, 05:14 PM
When I was an Xtian, I could go a week or so, but usually less. If you go too long, you'll have a wet dream anyway, so does that count?

psyadam
08-14-2005, 05:15 PM
when i was young I was taught that masturbation was a sin and tried not to do it until i grew old enough to lose faith and then i did it when i wanted to.

ghoulslime
08-14-2005, 05:24 PM
As a young Mormon boy, I was taught that masturbation leads to homosexuality. Well, jeepers! I try not to leap my lizard at all! And I try to nail as many woman as I can. Jesus, please don't let me turn gay!

HeWhoAsks
08-14-2005, 05:31 PM
For myself, . . . uh . . . mmmm . . . nhhhh . . . guuuuuh . . . awwwwwww . . . Sweet Jesus save me. . . I hardly ever do it.

psyadam
08-14-2005, 05:35 PM
As a young Mormon boy, I was taught that masturbation leads to homosexuality. Well, jeepers! I try not to leap my lizard at all! And I try to nail as many woman as I can. Jesus, please don't let me turn gay!
Ya I was raised Mormon as well. I didn't masturbate at all during adolescene and I'm still gay. :/

Choobus
08-15-2005, 03:12 AM
so, mormons are wank inhibited, or what????

Evil_Mage_Ra
08-15-2005, 09:14 AM
I did it considerably less when I was a Christian, since it was a "sin of the flesh". I thought it was a minor sin, though, so it didn't hold me back too much!

StillSurviving
08-15-2005, 10:12 AM
I was raised catholic, and still believed those falsehoods when I went through puberty. I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn't keep from masturbating. In that way, my atheism has relieved some of the stress in my life. BTW, I thought I jerked the chain a lot until I read some of these posts. I do it once every 2 or 3 days, sometimes less sometimes more.

vrang
08-15-2005, 03:11 PM
I think I watched alot of porn when I was Xtian. And every once awhile I promised god to quit, so I threw the porn away etc. Did this a few times. Ironically I wank less as an atheist. Maybe because porn now is almost boring due to the fact its not "forbidden" by the bearded guy in the sky.

ghoulslime
08-16-2005, 12:11 PM
As a young Mormon boy, I was taught that masturbation leads to homosexuality. Well, jeepers! I try not to leap my lizard at all! And I try to nail as many woman as I can. Jesus, please don't let me turn gay!
Ya I was raised Mormon as well. I didn't masturbate at all during adolescene and I'm still gay. :/
Don't try to lie about your masturbatory past! They warned you that it would make you gay! Accept god's consequences!

I also recall something about inserting things into your anus making you turn into a power bottom. Are you a power bottom? (The world would be a happier place with more power bottoms!)

Tib
08-16-2005, 03:23 PM
if masturbation is wrong I dont wanta be right??


anyway I dont remember seeing a scripture that says its wrong and it cant be no more wrong that taking a dump unless when taking a dump you read porn then yea its lustful. ha!

vheltrite
08-16-2005, 06:32 PM
?

ghoulslime
08-16-2005, 06:45 PM
if masturbation is wrong I dont wanta be right??
Just use your left hand. :D

Choobus
08-17-2005, 05:29 PM
My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)

Striver
08-18-2005, 10:33 AM
My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)
I don't believe this. There's no way he'd be getting any pleasure from it after the first 2 or 3 times or so

Aristarchus
08-18-2005, 03:22 PM
My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)
I don't believe this. There's no way he'd be getting any pleasure from it after the first 2 or 3 times or so
What? With the right diet and technique you can have a ready-rupert, inside and out, after about 17 minutes from the previous wank. I say I could milk the snake 50 to 55 times in one day if I wanted to. That's called a healthy libido, folks. :D



I could impregnate the world in under a week. Not to brag or anything. :cool:


Edit: And it would be pleasurable up to 43rd time for a 1-day wankathon, and pleasurable up to the Philippines for a world-impregnation attempt.

Tenspace
08-18-2005, 03:31 PM
Edit: And it would be pleasurable up to 43rd time for a 1-day wankathon, and pleasurable up to the Philippines for a world-impregnation attempt.
Would the Phillipines fall before or after Thailand on your route? ;)

Another brick in the wall
08-22-2005, 05:42 PM
Per day or lifetime total? I'd have to use scientific notation to express my tally. I was very lonely during junior high school.

Sir Sin-O-Lot
08-22-2005, 06:40 PM
if masturbation is wrong I dont wanta be right??
Just use your left hand. :D
It's only a sin if it's done correctly. ;)

Choobus
08-24-2005, 10:12 PM
nobody can challenge Tommy Pedro! His 17 wank/day record stands. All hail chief wanker tommy pedro, the king of jerking, the master of mastabation, the iyatollah of spunk

Fryan
08-24-2005, 10:31 PM
Since we are informed that there are no Raelian orgies, I submit that they are the ones who wank themost. Certainly from testmanias posts he has revealed himself to be a right tosser, and the jerky nature if his writing is quite consistend with a one handed tyoing style. I say without evidence and in an entirely arbitrary manner that testmanina wanks his tiny penis more than this tommy pedro character, probably over 20 times a day. He may well do so to please his alien masters
The harvesting of the man-chowder of a true believer Raelian is probably part of the Raelian cloning procedure;)

ChiefOfAss
08-25-2005, 09:32 AM
I'm at LEAST once a day, usually twice, sometimes thrice. When I was still a xtian, it was maybe once a week...I thought that what I was doing was wrong and that god was going to hate me...then I learned to say fuck god and now I'm a happy 2x a day wanker.
Wasn't it better when you thought Jesus was watching?

Jennifer
08-26-2005, 06:43 PM
Wasn't it better when you thought Jesus was watching?
Um, no

Jennifer
08-27-2005, 04:51 PM
Wasn't it better when you thought Jesus was watching?
Um, no
he's talking about jesus watching a monkey spanking session, and perhaps taking a faceful of jizz (since he is everywhere)
I know. Exhibitionist for Christ would not be hot for me. I wouldn't really feel like he was into it.

ChiefOfAss
08-28-2005, 01:04 PM
nah, he loves it. He's a right dirty bastard......
TOTALLY. I think that every night, Mary Mag was filled out like Chinese Fingercuffs and the 9 apostles who didn't have an oriface to occupy were watching while they waited in line.

Sternwallow
08-28-2005, 01:50 PM
"First off, that's not urine. It's grape juice. What's funny is that the standards and practices people wouldn't let me use apple juice because I couldn't use something that actually looked like urine. So... anyway, I used grape juice."
- Adam Corolla

How about using real urine with a little food coloring so your artistic integrity is preserved?

ChiefOfAss
08-29-2005, 12:20 PM
Adam corolla is a fucking retard. If he's allowed to talk such shit, I don't see how a little piss would hurt
Indeed.
That quote is from his new Comedy Central show. I thought it an ironic testimony to censorship in this country. I’d always wondered why max-pad commercials used polite blue fluid instead of, say, menstrual chunks.

But that aside, he is a fucking retard.

You know, he actually had the nerve to try and riff on airplane food? His own audience was like, "dude... are you serious?"

calpurnpiso
08-29-2005, 12:25 PM
Well, only retards will admire and laugh at the jokes and antics of ignorant retarded comics, admiring them!.....:)

ChiefOfAss
08-30-2005, 07:15 AM
Well, only retards will admire and laugh at the jokes and antics of ignorant retarded comics, admiring them!.....:)
What are you talking about?

Choobus
08-30-2005, 04:00 PM
he's talking about shaft....

Choobus
09-04-2005, 05:50 PM
"Fool me once (pause)... fool me (long pause and blank stare)... y'fool me can'get fooled-uh-gin (triumphant smirk)."
- George W. Bush

this alone should scare the shit out of all americans. How did this happen? How can you go around taking about freedom with this usuroing moron in the whitehouse? It the terrorists really do "hate freedom" [which is a nonsensical concept] then they probably have nothing against the US at all. Perhaps they hate McEmpires instead, or maybe they just don't like getting bombed. Fucking allah lovers, they hate freedom so much it makes theim brown and angry

Sir Sin-O-Lot
09-04-2005, 05:51 PM
Are you hot for Jesus?

Striver
09-04-2005, 06:08 PM
What's wrong with people being brown?

Choobus
09-04-2005, 06:11 PM
What's wrong with people being brown?
ask a piece of toast

ProveIt
09-04-2005, 10:10 PM
1000 hits of people interested in the beatin off habits of their fellow nimble fingered friends... Nice...

Striver
09-05-2005, 10:35 AM
Just wanted to make sure. You're a racist piece of shit, Choobus. Have a nice day.

ProveIt
09-05-2005, 12:37 PM
What's wrong with people being brown?
ask a piece of toast
Just wanted to make sure. You're a racist piece of shit, Choobus. Have a nice day.
He's racist cause he talks to toast?? I think I may have missed something here...

Choobus
09-05-2005, 01:03 PM
Striver, you don't know what you're talking about. Not only am I not a racist, I am often a victim of racism because I am Turkish and I live in Germany. Naturally, you assume everyone is white until you are shown otherwise. sounds like you might be the racist.

calpurnpiso
09-05-2005, 01:31 PM
Striver, you don't know what you're talking about. Not only am I not a racist, I am often a victim of racism because I am Turkish and I live in Germany. Naturally, you assume everyone is white until you are shown otherwise. sounds like you might be the racist.
This is so true. I think the reason being that on May 31, 1453 the amazing Mehmed Celebi (Mehmed II, el Fatih-the Conqueror) a very bright moral Muslim leader entered that bastion of Christ-psychosis Constantinople, ending 1123 years of Christian inmoral and intellectual stagnation on that eastern capital of Christendom. Constantinus XI, was killed defending the city. From that day onwards Mulsim Turcs started to invade Christianity infected Europe and settle in some countries...after Soliman the magnificent, many Turks had grown roots in Europe the Balkans particularly.....AHHH, can we say Kosova, ethnic cleansing Christ-psychotic Serbia and Milosovic? After all, we must not forget that German speaking countries of the Crusades under the Holy Roman Emperors were heavely infected with Christ-psychosis, which made them anti heretics, anti muslim, anti jew and anti Greek Orthodox ( those in Constantinopolis).

Turks are victims of racism in Europe due this continent being infected with Christianity. The reason 6 million "Christ Killer" aka jews, were killed by Christianity infected Hitler...:)

ghoulslime
09-05-2005, 01:52 PM
Striver, you don't know what you're talking about. Not only am I not a racist, I am often a victim of racism because I am Turkish and I live in Germany. Naturally, you assume everyone is white until you are shown otherwise. sounds like you might be the racist.
It's pretty common here in the USA. It's a basic weapon for non whites to use against those they disagree with. It's politically incorrect for whites to consider race. It's pretty standard for non-whites to use it in everything they do.

Where do you live in Germany? I spent 4 years in Frankfurt. I used to do martial arts with mostly Turks, in Wiesbaden.

Striver
09-05-2005, 01:57 PM
Just because you're a Turkish immigant doesn't you're not racist. The fact that you think there's something wrong with being brown (like 80% of the world) does.

Switch25
09-05-2005, 02:06 PM
1000 hits of people interested in the beatin off habits of their fellow nimble fingered friends... Nice...
LOL, I just noticed that. :lol:

Choobus
09-05-2005, 03:11 PM
Just because you're a Turkish immigant doesn't you're not racist. The fact that you think there's something wrong with being brown (like 80% of the world) does.
read the post dumkopf, I did not at any time say there was anything wrong with being brown. you made that assumption, so once again suggest that you are the racist here, not me.

ProveIt
09-05-2005, 03:29 PM
1000 hits of people interested in the beatin off habits of their fellow nimble fingered friends... Nice...
LOL, I just noticed that. :lol:
Up to 1100 today... and only 54 posts... lots of curious people out there. Either that or they are intrigued by the brown toast vrs white bread debate we have goin on here... ;) Again... what the hell did I miss? How did this begin? I'm not going to re-read again... I don't get it, nor do I much care. :P

ghoulslime
09-05-2005, 04:17 PM
My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)
I don't believe this. There's no way he'd be getting any pleasure from it after the first 2 or 3 times or so
Dude, I usually come between 5 - 10 times when I screw, and I am 44 years old. It sounds like you need to go see a doctor about erectile disfunction.

Fryan
09-05-2005, 06:16 PM
[Dude, I usually come between 5 - 10 times when I screw, and I am 44 years old. It sounds like you need to go see a doctor about erectile disfunction.
How long does that take you? I find that each successive effort takes longer to achieve than the previous one. 10 times would probably take me about half a day or more! Don't you get friction burns on your cock?

Back on the topic of beating off, a friend of mine named Frazer ( an atheist, although he went to a catholic school) claimed to have spanked off 14 times in one porn-watching marathon back when he was seventeen. I'm sure the intervening years have refined his technique and he could probably drown Tommy Pedro in a veritable sea of cock sauce.

ghoulslime
09-05-2005, 06:30 PM
[Dude, I usually come between 5 - 10 times when I screw, and I am 44 years old. It sounds like you need to go see a doctor about erectile disfunction.
How long does that take you? I find that each successive effort takes longer to achieve than the previous one. 10 times would probably take me about half a day or more! Don't you get friction burns on your cock?

Back on the topic of beating off, a friend of mine named Frazer ( an atheist, although he went to a catholic school) claimed to have spanked off 14 times in one porn-watching marathon back when he was seventeen. I'm sure the intervening years have refined his technique and he could probably drown Tommy Pedro in a veritable sea of cock sauce.
I usually pound for 2 or 3 hours. :D



I knew a chronic masturbator in high school named Corey Backster; this little bucktoothed weasel that jacked his meat from morning until night. He even did it in school, IN CLASS!!! He had to go to the doctor about it. I remember once at scout camp, he beat his meat so much that he irritated his urethra until he was bleeding out of his dick. He came crying to the other boys, because he didn’t want the adults to find out. We ended up taking a tube of first aid cream, which had benzocaine or some other topical anesthetic, and stuck it in the hole of his dick and squirted it in. It worked. I think the guy was back to jacking it the next day.

I would have put my money on that guy in any masturbation contest.

ProveIt
09-05-2005, 06:53 PM
http://poetryring.com/ghoulslime/ghoulslime.html
I have just been lost in your link (and further links). Thank you.

ghoulslime
09-05-2005, 06:54 PM
http://poetryring.com/ghoulslime/ghoulslime.html
I have just been lost in your link (and further links). Thank you.
:D

ProveIt
09-05-2005, 06:56 PM
I would do this myself if I had any clue how... can someone post a new thread? the chat is up and running and we are (I am...) very lonely in here.

ghoulslime
09-05-2005, 07:17 PM
I would do this myself if I had any clue how... can someone post a new thread? the chat is up and running and we are (I am...) very lonely in here.
Don't be lonely. To post a new thread, go to the main page / forum / choose a category, general discussion, atheist vs theist, etc / then in the upper right you will see a POST NEW TOPIC link / push the button pull the chain! Don't be lonely. We love you.

ProveIt
09-05-2005, 07:18 PM
I would do this myself if I had any clue how... can someone post a new thread? the chat is up and running and we are (I am...) very lonely in here.
Don't be lonely. To post a new thread, go to the main page / forum / choose a catagegory, general discussion, atheist vs theist, etc / then in the upper right you will see a POST NEW TOPIC link / push the button pull the chain! Don't be lonely. We love you.
Thank goodness someone does... That damn Jesus stopped a long time ago... ;)

Philboid Studge
09-06-2005, 02:06 PM
I never thought I'd be contributing to this thread, but here we are.

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/lollerbate.gif

HeWhoAsks
09-06-2005, 02:14 PM
[Dude, I usually come between 5 - 10 times when I screw, and I am 44 years old.
Back on the topic of beating off, a friend of mine named Frazer ( an atheist, although he went to a catholic school) claimed to have spanked off 14 times in one porn-watching marathon back when he was seventeen.
I usually pound for 2 or 3 hours. :D

I knew a chronic masturbator in high school named Corey Backster; this little bucktoothed weasel that jacked his meat from morning until night. He even did it in school, IN CLASS!!! He had to go to the doctor about it. I remember once at scout camp, he beat his meat so much that he irritated his urethra until he was bleeding out of his dick. He came crying to the other boys, because he didn’t want the adults to find out. We ended up taking a tube of first aid cream, which had benzocaine or some other topical anesthetic, and stuck it in the hole of his dick and squirted it in. It worked. I think the guy was back to jacking it the next day.
Now, there are some extraordinary claims for which I do not want extraordinary evidence!:lol:

ChiefOfAss
09-06-2005, 10:02 PM
Striver, you don't know what you're talking about. Not only am I not a racist, I am often a victim of racism because I am Turkish and I live in Germany. Naturally, you assume everyone is white until you are shown otherwise. sounds like you might be the racist.
This is so true. I think the reason being that on May 31, 1453 the amazing Mehmed Celebi (Mehmed II, el Fatih-the Conqueror) a very bright moral Muslim leader entered that bastion of Christ-psychosis Constantinople, ending 1123 years of Christian inmoral and intellectual stagnation on that eastern capital of Christendom. Constantinus XI, was killed defending the city. From that day onwards Mulsim Turcs started to invade Christianity infected Europe and settle in some countries...after Soliman the magnificent, many Turks had grown roots in Europe the Balkans particularly.....AHHH, can we say Kosova, ethnic cleansing Christ-psychotic Serbia and Milosovic? After all, we must not forget that German speaking countries of the Crusades under the Holy Roman Emperors were heavely infected with Christ-psychosis, which made them anti heretics, anti muslim, anti jew and anti Greek Orthodox ( those in Constantinopolis).

Turks are victims of racism in Europe due this continent being infected with Christianity. The reason 6 million "Christ Killer" aka jews, were killed by Christianity infected Hitler...:)
What do you mean, Christianity infected Hitler? Hitler worshipped nothing higher than himself (which isn't unusual) and demanded others to worship none but him.

Also, after reading a few of your other manic posts I've started to wonder, are you suggesting that Christianity is somehow "lower" than the other religions? Are you actually elevating Islam above Christianity? But for the prior existence of Christianity and Islam, you'd have the award for "Most Ridiculous Idea".

I certainly agree that theology is consensual delusion, but... it's as if you think there are characteristics that distinguish one theology from another. Clearly, all theistic ideologies are undeniably indistinguishable and comically arbitrary.

Comparing Christianity to Islam is like comparing the PGA to the LPGA. They're both fucking GOLF. Any differences between the two only matter to golfers.

In fact, I don't think theology is the disease. Your dramedy displays evidence you have the disease too. Any of us may have the disease. Theology, it turns out is just a symptom and a form of self-medication (something like alcohol and alcoholism). Maybe yoursymptom AND drug of choice is indulgent, tail-chasing god-bashing (note: I may be calling you out, but I didn't say I don't understand - BELIEVE ME).

But... dude... have some principles. Giving quarter to Islam for the sake of bashing Christianity is like making pals with Stalin because his mustache is less stupid looking than Hitler’s.

Philboid Studge
09-07-2005, 01:46 PM
I'm not sure. It must be some unholy marriage of LOL and 'masturbate.'

Jennifer
09-07-2005, 02:18 PM
Ssssshhhh. Saint doesn't mix sex with laughing.

calpurnpiso
09-07-2005, 03:36 PM
ChiefofAss wrote:

"What do you mean, Christianity infected Hitler? Hitler worshipped nothing higher than himself (which isn't unusual) and demanded others to worship none but him.'

Obviously you're ignorant about the life of Hitler who was brought up in a Christianity infected family, Christianity infected country with Christianity infected morals. Alas, he almost became a Catholic priest! Please READ his Babble, "Mein Kampf". In this book you'll see quotes and ideas from the Christian Babble. This man emulated Jesus and combined Christian Dogma with Runic theology, and easy task due to the similarities of these psychosis. Hitler loved the Christian Crusaders of old. His soldiers wore buckles with the motto " Gott Mit Uns" ( God with Us). These are FACTS. His great idol was the Holy Roman Emperor who fought the "infidels" in Nutty land, Frederick Hohenstauffen (Barbarossa). His operation against Russia was called Barbarosa.

http://atheism.about.com/library/quotes/bl_q_AHitler.htm

Stalin was also brought up by Christianity infected parents in a Christianity infected country with leaders (Czars) ANOINTED by CHRIST. Stalin was also going to join the Priesthood! He had Christ-psychosis triggers surfacing all of the time. So, please get EDUCATED before you shine for you ignorance and everyone would think you're also a retarded Christ-psychosis infected ignoramus wearing Atheists clothes. Remember, Christians are the ones that despise knowledge and science, read only one book, and have thrown reason out the window.

"Comparing Christianity to Islam is like comparing the PGA to the LPGA. They're both fucking GOLF. Any differences between the two only matter to golfers. "

LOL...Obviously you insist in demonstrating your inability to read ancient history and willful ignorance. Do you know what are ABRAHAMIC RELIGIONS are?

"In fact, I don't think theology is the disease."

Aren't theological arguments based in the acceptance of ethereal delusional instances as if they were tangible reality?..Don't those people under schizophrenia or temporal lobe epilepsy have their OWN from of theological concepts? Remember theology means STUDY OF GOD. Hmm...do you think the study of the TOOTH FAIRY should be view as a valid and sane way of thinking? Can you tell me what the difference is?.........:)

Remember I have NEVER said I'm sane!, for we humans are nothing more than mutated insane primates whose brain evolved due to delusions which started to answer all of the questions he would not understand creating GOD in the process along the supernatural. Slowly but surely we are getting rid of the evolutionary anomaly. It is not needed today, though we could use Religious-psychosis to our own advantage. R&R for our brains......:)

ProveIt
09-07-2005, 04:00 PM
Ssssshhhh. Saint doesn't mix sex with laughing.
St Teabag would be very proud of you...;)

miata
09-07-2005, 05:23 PM
I wonder is theists jerk off more often, less ooften or abot the same as atheists. Does christian guilt, for example, make it seem wrong, or add some excitement that leads to furious wanking?

We don't have a good sample here. Thomas, lurker, tell us of your mastubatory habits. I spank it at least once a day:P
Jesus jacks off the most.

jesuskicksass
09-07-2005, 08:52 PM
No offense, but this thread is pathetic.

ghoulslime
09-07-2005, 09:12 PM
I wonder is theists jerk off more often, less ooften or abot the same as atheists. Does christian guilt, for example, make it seem wrong, or add some excitement that leads to furious wanking?

We don't have a good sample here. Thomas, lurker, tell us of your mastubatory habits. I spank it at least once a day:P
Jesus jacks off the most.
Actually, the holes in Jesus' hands give him some jack off techniques that the rest of us can only dream about. Jesus is the MASTER...BATOR. :D

Choobus
09-08-2005, 12:08 AM
No offense, but this thread is pathetic.
79 posts, 1400 visits, I don't think you can call that pathetic. Clearly jacking off is a matter of concern for a lot of people...... :D

Fryan
09-08-2005, 12:18 AM
No offense, but this thread is pathetic.
79 posts, 1400 visits, I don't think you can call that pathetic. Clearly jacking off is a matter of concern for a lot of people...... :D
What he obviously meant by saying the thread is pathetic is that he can outwank Frazer, Tommy Pedro and Corey Backster put together. He was probably getting his keyboard all sticky just typing that post. :D There's probably a thread on some Christian board where they are laughing at our feeble masturbatory efforts :lol:

Choobus
09-08-2005, 12:28 AM
Ah, yes, that makes more sense. jesussuckass is probably doing the whole jesus hole in the hand "stigmasturbate" thing

Anonymous_number1
09-08-2005, 01:49 AM
Screw him, I bet the ratio from xian to atheist...well, I think we wank off more than they do.

I say this out of sheer lust. Ahhh...lust is good.

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 10:29 AM
A QUICK POLL:

Which of the following sex do you prefer?

A – Jacking
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking

Of course, all of the above is the best answer, but you should choose.

I like a good blow job, with a really strong suck. And the chick swallows, and sucks all of the residual juice out.

vsxd903s
09-08-2005, 10:49 AM
A QUICK POLL:

Which of the following sex do you prefer?

A – Jacking
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking

Of course, all of the above is the best answer, but you should choose.

I like a good blow job, with a really strong suck. And the chick swallows, and sucks all of the residual juice out.
I'm with you. As long as she's really good at it. It's nice because I don't have to put much effort into it. But if she sucks at the sucking, I'm all for the anal.

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 12:56 PM
Ha ha, the level continues to sink, but I'll play. I have to agree, a good blow job is the best, but they are rare indeed. Getting your ass reamed by a unicorn is only slightly less likely to occur on a given day. So, practically, one is tempted to say jacking because of the almost limitless availability, and the assurance of a quality job. As for anal, well that is proof of the old adage "it is better to give than to recieve". :mad:
:D

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 01:04 PM
Why doesn't Dirty Sanchez get on the ballot? Is that considered a subset of anal?
Subset of anal! But certainly worth mentioning as frequently as possible!

miata
09-08-2005, 01:43 PM
I wonder is theists jerk off more often, less ooften or abot the same as atheists. Does christian guilt, for example, make it seem wrong, or add some excitement that leads to furious wanking?

We don't have a good sample here. Thomas, lurker, tell us of your mastubatory habits. I spank it at least once a day:P
W

ChiefOfAss
09-08-2005, 01:44 PM
ChiefofAss wrote:

"What do you mean, Christianity infected Hitler? Hitler worshipped nothing higher than himself (which isn't unusual) and demanded others to worship none but him.'

Obviously you're ignorant about the life of Hitler who was brought up in a Christianity infected family, Christianity infected country with Christianity infected morals. Alas, he almost became a Catholic priest! Please READ his Babble, "Mein Kampf". In this book you'll see quotes and ideas from the Christian Babble. This man emulated Jesus and combined Christian Dogma with Runic theology, and easy task due to the similarities of these psychosis.
Clearly, nothing in my post would have made anything obvious to you. You are blinded by an equivalent sense of irrationality to that of the theists you despise so much. I don’t have problem with the fact that you despise them, but your arguments make you look so barking mad that whatever value may exist in your convolutions is obscured by a truly monocular view of the theism.

MANY things influence Hitler, but like so many individuals who acquire absolute power, he fancied himself as a god (and so did many of his followers).
Hitler loved the Christian Crusaders of old. His soldiers wore buckles with the motto " Gott Mit Uns" ( God with Us). These are FACTS. His great idol was the Holy Roman Emperor who fought the "infidels" in Nutty land, Frederick Hohenstauffen (Barbarossa). His operation against Russia was called Barbarosa.
Very well. He also idolized the Germanic tribes that fought the Romans.

But whatever man, if you think I’m ignorant because I’ve learned that Hitler deified himself, or if you want to argue that Hitler DIDN’T consider himself to be god incarnate, then go right ahead.
http://atheism.about.com/library/quotes/bl_q_AHitler.htm

Stalin was also brought up by Christianity infected parents in a Christianity infected country with leaders (Czars) ANOINTED by CHRIST.
Yeah, dip-shit… that’s why one of the themes that Stalin capitalized on from the Bolsheviks was the vilification of the Russian Orthodoxy. The Russian people believed in a trinity of Czar, God, Motherland; Stalin sought to replace the first two with himself.

Didn’t you know that the ‘Party’ officially denounced the state religion? Did you also know that Stalin exterminated a great many of the clergy? In fact, Stalin only resorted to standing behind that funky looking cross they've got when it looked as though Operation Barbarossa was going to burn down Moscow. The Great Patriotic war was born (to Russians at that time, patriotism with nearly synonymous with worship).
Stalin was also going to join the Priesthood! He had Christ-psychosis triggers surfacing all of the time.
It’s your attribution of psychosis with religion that I disagree with most. In particular, that you seem bent on assigning the most potent form of religious psychosis to Christianity.

Religion, in general, is an excellent medium in which to cultivate psychosis. But, to say religion is responsible for psychosis in some people is as flawed as holding pornography responsible for sex crimes.

You seem to be going one step further by saying that Christianity the best religion for psychopaths. Correct me if I’m misinterpreting your partially broken English, but you seem to suggest that one form of believing in a pretend sky captain is different from another.

Why on Earth would you think Christianity is any better or worse than Islam? They all believe the same shit! They just have different rituals, dogmas, and names for their temples. Christianity and Islam are materially IDENTICLE!
So, please get EDUCATED before you shine for you ignorance and everyone would think you're also a retarded Christ-psychosis infected ignoramus wearing Atheists clothes.
Riiiiiiiight, I need to get educated. Dude… I’ve FORGOTTEN more world history than you’ll ever manage to retain. Why do you feel you have to attack anyone who dares suggest you consider additional, different, or contradictory information?

And, look – just now – how you threatened to “excommunicate” me from the atheist fraternity. Why? Because, because unlike you I actually comprehend history rather than warp into something unrecognizable? Or, is it because I happen to think that religion is the facilitator, the lubricant of, man’s darkest nature rather than the cause of it?

You know, it’s not as if I disregarded what you wrote in your post. I have strong opinions, but my perspectives are still in draft form. In addition, I tried to comprehend what you were saying, and I always attempt to rationalize the considerations of others (that’s how you learn). Reading what you wrote in response to my post, I’m left wondering if you read a single word of it beyond what you saw fit to quote.

You know, I’ve met other people who react the way you do… without so much as a cerebral thought in their heads except to determine if someone else’s perspective is the slightest bit incongruent with their own. They’re called theists.
Remember, Christians are the ones that despise knowledge and science, read only one book, and have thrown reason out the window.
Wow – thanks for the tip.
"Comparing Christianity to Islam is like comparing the PGA to the LPGA. They're both fucking GOLF. Any differences between the two only matter to golfers. "

LOL...Obviously you insist in demonstrating your inability to read ancient history and willful ignorance. Do you know what are ABRAHAMIC RELIGIONS are?
Yes, it just so happens I do! You really have no idea what I was saying with that line about golf, do you?

I bet English isn’t your first language. For once, I don’t mean that sarcastically. I’m thinking that your lack of comprehension of what other people write (not just my stuff, but nearly everybody you reply to) is due to a disconnect in English idioms, similes, and metaphors.

In all seriousness, figures of speech are the most difficult for English-as-a-second-language folks – even those who speak better English, technically, than those who speak English natively.

"In fact, I don't think theology is the disease."

Aren't theological arguments based in the acceptance of ethereal delusional instances as if they were tangible reality?..Don't those people under schizophrenia or temporal lobe epilepsy have their OWN from of theological concepts? Remember theology means STUDY OF GOD. Hmm...do you think the study of the TOOTH FAIRY should be view as a valid and sane way of thinking? Can you tell me what the difference is?.........:)
Again, thanks for the definition. Now, it is so clear that you missed the point. What’s the difference between the study of the tooth fairy and the study of Jesus – ABSA-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING, YOU JACKASS! That’s what I’ve been trying to say.

Back to the golf reference: The only people who care about the difference between the LPGA and PGA are people who are into golf – JUST LIKE the only people that care about the differences between Christianity and Islam are people who are into religion. Did you absorb it that time… Fokker?
Remember I have NEVER said I'm sane!, for we humans are nothing more than mutated insane primates whose brain evolved due to delusions which started to answer all of the questions he would not understand creating GOD in the process along the supernatural.
Oh, great. Well.. .now you tell me. So, you’re a fucking loon. Anyway, look at the underlined sentence. What the fuck does that mean? Where are you from? Are you fucking Portugese?
Slowly but surely we are getting rid of the evolutionary anomaly. It is not needed today, though we could use Religious-psychosis to our own advantage. R&R for our brains......:)
Yeah. And, I can never get the last 20 minutes back.

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 02:02 PM
ChiefofAss wrote:

"What do you mean, Christianity infected Hitler? Hitler worshipped nothing higher than himself (which isn't unusual) and demanded others to worship none but him.'

Obviously you're ignorant about the life of Hitler who was brought up in a Christianity infected family, Christianity infected country with Christianity infected morals. Alas, he almost became a Catholic priest! Please READ his Babble, "Mein Kampf". In this book you'll see quotes and ideas from the Christian Babble. This man emulated Jesus and combined Christian Dogma with Runic theology, and easy task due to the similarities of these psychosis.
Clearly, nothing in my post would have made anything obvious to you. You are blinded by an equivalent sense of irrationality to that of the theists you despise so much. I don’t have problem with the fact that you despise them, but your arguments make you look so barking mad that whatever value may exist in your convolutions is obscured by a truly monocular view of the theism.

MANY things influence Hitler, but like so many individuals who acquire absolute power, he fancied himself as a god (and so did many of his followers).
Hitler loved the Christian Crusaders of old. His soldiers wore buckles with the motto " Gott Mit Uns" ( God with Us). These are FACTS. His great idol was the Holy Roman Emperor who fought the "infidels" in Nutty land, Frederick Hohenstauffen (Barbarossa). His operation against Russia was called Barbarosa.
Very well. He also idolized the Germanic tribes that fought the Romans.

But whatever man, if you think I’m ignorant because I’ve learned that Hitler deified himself, or if you want to argue that Hitler DIDN’T consider himself to be god incarnate, then go right ahead.
http://atheism.about.com/library/quotes/bl_q_AHitler.htm

Stalin was also brought up by Christianity infected parents in a Christianity infected country with leaders (Czars) ANOINTED by CHRIST.
Yeah, dip-shit… that’s why one of the themes that Stalin capitalized on from the Bolsheviks was the vilification of the Russian Orthodoxy. The Russian people believed in a trinity of Czar, God, Motherland; Stalin sought to replace the first two with himself.

Didn’t you know that the ‘Party’ officially denounced the state religion? Did you also know that Stalin exterminated a great many of the clergy? In fact, Stalin only resorted to standing behind that funky looking cross they've got when it looked as though Operation Barbarossa was going to burn down Moscow. The Great Patriotic war was born (to Russians at that time, patriotism with nearly synonymous with worship).
Stalin was also going to join the Priesthood! He had Christ-psychosis triggers surfacing all of the time.
It’s your attribution of psychosis with religion that I disagree with most. In particular, that you seem bent on assigning the most potent form of religious psychosis to Christianity.

Religion, in general, is an excellent medium in which to cultivate psychosis. But, to say religion is responsible for psychosis in some people is as flawed as holding pornography responsible for sex crimes.

You seem to be going one step further by saying that Christianity the best religion for psychopaths. Correct me if I’m misinterpreting your partially broken English, but you seem to suggest that one form of believing in a pretend sky captain is different from another.

Why on Earth would you think Christianity is any better or worse than Islam? They all believe the same shit! They just have different rituals, dogmas, and names for their temples. Christianity and Islam are materially IDENTICLE!
So, please get EDUCATED before you shine for you ignorance and everyone would think you're also a retarded Christ-psychosis infected ignoramus wearing Atheists clothes.
Riiiiiiiight, I need to get educated. Dude… I’ve FORGOTTEN more world history than you’ll ever manage to retain. Why do you feel you have to attack anyone who dares suggest you consider additional, different, or contradictory information?

And, look – just now – how you threatened to “excommunicate” me from the atheist fraternity. Why? Because, because unlike you I actually comprehend history rather than warp into something unrecognizable? Or, is it because I happen to think that religion is the facilitator, the lubricant of, man’s darkest nature rather than the cause of it?

You know, it’s not as if I disregarded what you wrote in your post. I have strong opinions, but my perspectives are still in draft form. In addition, I tried to comprehend what you were saying, and I always attempt to rationalize the considerations of others (that’s how you learn). Reading what you wrote in response to my post, I’m left wondering if you read a single word of it beyond what you saw fit to quote.

You know, I’ve met other people who react the way you do… without so much as a cerebral thought in their heads except to determine if someone else’s perspective is the slightest bit incongruent with their own. They’re called theists.
Remember, Christians are the ones that despise knowledge and science, read only one book, and have thrown reason out the window.
Wow – thanks for the tip.
"Comparing Christianity to Islam is like comparing the PGA to the LPGA. They're both fucking GOLF. Any differences between the two only matter to golfers. "

LOL...Obviously you insist in demonstrating your inability to read ancient history and willful ignorance. Do you know what are ABRAHAMIC RELIGIONS are?
Yes, it just so happens I do! You really have no idea what I was saying with that line about golf, do you?

I bet English isn’t your first language. For once, I don’t mean that sarcastically. I’m thinking that your lack of comprehension of what other people write (not just my stuff, but nearly everybody you reply to) is due to a disconnect in English idioms, similes, and metaphors.

In all seriousness, figures of speech are the most difficult for English-as-a-second-language folks – even those who speak better English, technically, than those who speak English natively.

"In fact, I don't think theology is the disease."

Aren't theological arguments based in the acceptance of ethereal delusional instances as if they were tangible reality?..Don't those people under schizophrenia or temporal lobe epilepsy have their OWN from of theological concepts? Remember theology means STUDY OF GOD. Hmm...do you think the study of the TOOTH FAIRY should be view as a valid and sane way of thinking? Can you tell me what the difference is?.........:)
Again, thanks for the definition. Now, it is so clear that you missed the point. What’s the difference between the study of the tooth fairy and the study of Jesus – ABSA-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING, YOU JACKASS! That’s what I’ve been trying to say.

Back to the golf reference: The only people who care about the difference between the LPGA and PGA are people who are into golf – JUST LIKE the only people that care about the differences between Christianity and Islam are people who are into religion. Did you absorb it that time… Fokker?
Remember I have NEVER said I'm sane!, for we humans are nothing more than mutated insane primates whose brain evolved due to delusions which started to answer all of the questions he would not understand creating GOD in the process along the supernatural.
Oh, great. Well.. .now you tell me. So, you’re a fucking loon. Anyway, look at the underlined sentence. What the fuck does that mean? Where are you from? Are you fucking Portugese?
Slowly but surely we are getting rid of the evolutionary anomaly. It is not needed today, though we could use Religious-psychosis to our own advantage. R&R for our brains......:)
Yeah. And, I can never get the last 20 minutes back.
Dude!

That's some scary schtuff! Lay off Cal! You need some release!

Which of the following sex do you prefer?

A – Jacking
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking

Come on, enough of the mean talk. Let's get back to the subject at hand: (Har har) masturbation.

Jennifer
09-08-2005, 02:24 PM
Keeping this thread alive has gotten to be a point of pride.

"Oh sure the Christians control everything, but do their forums have THIS? Eh? Eh? I thought not."

miata
09-08-2005, 02:40 PM
I wonder is theists jerk off more often, less ooften or abot the same as atheists. Does christian guilt, for example, make it seem wrong, or add some excitement that leads to furious wanking?

We don't have a good sample here. Thomas, lurker, tell us of your mastubatory habits. I spank it at least once a day:P
I did 2 or 3 times a day but got it blown off by Katrina.

Fryan
09-08-2005, 03:03 PM
Are Christians avoiding this thread because they consider it beneath them? Or is it because they think that posting on a thread about beating off would be a foolish waste of their valuable wanking time? Maybe they think it would be blasphemous to imply that anyone could beat off better than the Lord who, presumably, is the Perfect Wanker =D

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 03:45 PM
Keeping this thread alive has gotten to be a point of pride.

"Oh sure the Christians control everything, but do their forums have THIS? Eh? Eh? I thought not."
Don't try and evade the issue at hand!

A – Fingering/power tooling
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking

Which is is lady?

Fryan
09-08-2005, 03:57 PM
A QUICK POLL:

Which of the following sex do you prefer?

A – Jacking
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking
You forgot

F - Golden Showers
G - Scatology

oh, does anal fisting qualify as anal, or should we add

H - Fisting?

Nothing like a golden shower to wash off a dirty sanchez :D

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 04:00 PM
Keeping this thread alive has gotten to be a point of pride.

"Oh sure the Christians control everything, but do their forums have THIS? Eh? Eh? I thought not."
Don't try and evade the issue at hand!

A – Fingering/power tooling
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking

Which is is lady?
No, for women you have to add "having a sexy conversation" or some lame romance based activity like that.
OK. Revised poll for women:

A - Romance novels from the supermarket
B – Naughty talk with girl friends
C – Walks along the beach
D - Spending boyfriend’s cash
E – 6 man gang bang with all holes plugged and full facials

4thgeneration
09-08-2005, 04:30 PM
Come on, you don't think girls masturbate?

darwinfish
09-08-2005, 04:59 PM
I masturbate! it's nice!....but seriously guys, girls on average are less frequent with it but definitely a majority of us are dirty girls... with dirty thoughts ....at night... all alone...what's a girl to do? *teehee*

Jennifer
09-08-2005, 05:09 PM
A – Fingering/power tooling
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking


A - Romance novels from the supermarket
B – Naughty talk with girl friends
C – Walks along the beach
D - Spending boyfriend’s cash
E – 6 man gang bang with all holes plugged and full facials
Dr. G. These are private matters between a lady and her carefully selected band of midget prostitutes and their animal friends.

Now, its my turn to help this thread get back on better footing so I ask you gentleman how old were you when you lost your virginity?

ProveIt
09-08-2005, 05:38 PM
Don't try and evade the issue at hand!

A – Fingering/power tooling
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking
I like a good blow job, with a really strong suck. And the chick swallows, and sucks all of the residual juice out.

Which is it lady?
A – Fingering/power tooling -not so into this... Can't you figure somethin better to stick in there?
B – Oral - Tis better to give than receive would be my motto
C – Anal -You gimme a ring, we can talk (sounds like an enjoyable idea)
D – Vaginal -Um, yeah
E - Titty Fucking -You stretch 'em out you better plan to keep 'em around

That's for me... Now... What may I do for you...;) lol How much detail can we go into on here... I feel we are leaving so much out...

A - Romance novels from the supermarket
B – Naughty talk with girl friends
C – Walks along the beach
D - Spending boyfriend’s cash
E – 6 man gang bang with all holes plugged and full facials
Um... A - Produce department boy
B - Naughty with girlfriends
C - Skinny dipping at the beach
D - Spending boyfriends cash... (that's a keeper... so long as it's his idea)
E - I'm not selfish... 3 men/3 women... good enough...

;)

darwinfish
09-08-2005, 07:06 PM
B – Oral - Tis better to give than receive would be my motto
really?...I'm afraid I must disagree

ProveIt
09-08-2005, 07:29 PM
Another pressing matter of great import: spit or swallow?
Depends... Are you worth it?


Edit: Clipped ? ;) Or not...? ;) ;)

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 07:53 PM
Don't try and evade the issue at hand!

A – Fingering/power tooling
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking
I like a good blow job, with a really strong suck. And the chick swallows, and sucks all of the residual juice out.

Which is it lady?
A – Fingering/power tooling -not so into this... Can't you figure somethin better to stick in there?
B – Oral - Tis better to give than receive would be my motto
C – Anal -You gimme a ring, we can talk (sounds like an enjoyable idea)
D – Vaginal -Um, yeah
E - Titty Fucking -You stretch 'em out you better plan to keep 'em around

That's for me... Now... What may I do for you...;) lol How much detail can we go into on here... I feel we are leaving so much out...

A - Romance novels from the supermarket
B – Naughty talk with girl friends
C – Walks along the beach
D - Spending boyfriend’s cash
E – 6 man gang bang with all holes plugged and full facials
Um... A - Produce department boy
B - Naughty with girlfriends
C - Skinny dipping at the beach
D - Spending boyfriends cash... (that's a keeper... so long as it's his idea)
E - I'm not selfish... 3 men/3 women... good enough...

;)
Holy Jesus, mother of lies!

You've made Ghoulslime break out into a cold sweat. I had to go have my second shower for the evening. :o

Please say you are taking a trip to Los Angeles in the near future! :o:o:o:o

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 08:25 PM
A – Fingering/power tooling
B – Oral
C – Anal
D – Vaginal
E - Titty Fucking


A - Romance novels from the supermarket
B – Naughty talk with girl friends
C – Walks along the beach
D - Spending boyfriend’s cash
E – 6 man gang bang with all holes plugged and full facials
Dr. G. These are private matters between a lady and her carefully selected band of midget prostitutes and their animal friends.

Now, its my turn to help this thread get back on better footing so I ask you gentleman how old were you when you lost your virginity?
This is the laugh of the evening! Come on! Share those midget stories!


VIRGINITY LOST:

14 years old to a woman I mowed laws for. I mowed her lawn and then I plowed her field. :D

It was the fantasy of a lifetime. I was out pushing the lawn mower around the lawn on a hot Saturday afternoon, no shirt on, sweat dripping down my back. The lady sat on her porch watching the lawn getting mowed with studious regard.

When I was almost finished, she called me over and asked me if I wanted a drink of water. I said sure. When she came out, she saw me looking at her tits. She said, "Oh, you like these?" Then she lifted her tank top up and gave me a look. I couldn't even speak. I just sort of stared, with my lower lip hanging out. I couldn't even remember what she said after that. I just remember her grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me into the house and into the bedroom. In retrospect, I realize she knew exactly what she was doing. I was one repressed farm boy! I banged her like a wild and crazy jungle man. I couldn’t get enough.

I was ready to come over every goddamn day to mow her lawns, but unfortunately it only lasted for 7 more glorious Saturdays. Then right out of the blue she just disappeared. I heard later that her boy friend or husband had been in jail and she was waiting for him to get out.

Man, those were the days!

darwinfish
09-08-2005, 08:31 PM
I really don't like circumcised...no no no

..oh and to answer the question: swallow

well, I've really only done anything sexual with one person (who I'm still with) so it might depend on the person...I would say uncircumcised is 'prettier'.

Jennifer
09-08-2005, 08:34 PM
VIRGINITY LOST:

14 years old to a woman I mowed laws for. I mowed her lawn and then I plowed her field. :D
That is a great story...but she is the one that should have been in jail! Maybe your Mom found out and that's why she disappeared.

:lol:

GS was jail bait...Awesome!

I was 13, but it was with another 13 year old virgin...as awkward and comical as you can imagine. On the way home I sat behind the bus driver so I could see myself in the mirror. I wanted to see if I looked more like a woman. I was pretty sure I did.

ghoulslime
09-08-2005, 08:42 PM
VIRGINITY LOST:

14 years old to a woman I mowed laws for. I mowed her lawn and then I plowed her field. :D
That is a great story...but she is the one that should have been in jail! Maybe your Mom found out and that's why she disappeared.

:lol:

GS was jail bait...Awesome!

I was 13, but it was with another 13 year old virgin...as awkward and comical as you can imagine. On the way home I sat behind the bus driver so I could see myself in the mirror. I wanted to see if I looked more like a woman. I was pretty sure I did.
:lol:

ProveIt
09-08-2005, 09:24 PM
Holy Jesus, mother of lies!

You've made Ghoulslime break out into a cold sweat. I had to go have my second shower for the evening. :o

Please say you are taking a trip to Los Angeles in the near future! :o:o:o:o
I would not make up such a thing... I do have friends out that way... But I don't expect to be out there again for quite some time...

Jennifer
09-09-2005, 07:33 AM
Saint! You need a do over.

ghoulslime
09-09-2005, 08:34 AM
my lost virginity story is not good at all. 16 years old, steady girlfriend, finally did it after much build up, bang! First thing she says was "is that it?" (not, I might add, a reference to my performance, amateurish as it was, but rather a comment on how it really wasn't a big deal.) After that we started to get very nasty indeed.

good times

by the wat 1700 visits! this thread is fast becoming numero uno baby. That's probably good news for the fundies.... :rolleyes:
So when did you loose your ass virginity? :D

ghoulslime
09-09-2005, 08:35 AM
1800 hits! Oh Yeah! It just goes to show you, people like to jack off!

StillSurviving
09-09-2005, 11:00 AM
A more telling question is when did you start masturbating. It took until I was 20 to get a girl I considered very attractive to agree to do the deed with me, but I started doing the deed with myself when I was 11.

ghoulslime
09-09-2005, 11:40 AM
A more telling question is when did you start masturbating. It took until I was 20 to get a girl I considered very attractive to agree to do the deed with me, but I started doing the deed with myself when I was 11.
The big question is will you ever STOP masturbating? :D

Jennifer
09-09-2005, 02:07 PM
It took until I was 20 to get a girl I considered very attractive to agree to do the deed with me,
That "saving it for someone special" is a kicker.

Another brick in the wall
09-09-2005, 03:22 PM
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/Biology%2520or%2520Culture.jpg

ghoulslime
09-09-2005, 03:49 PM
It took until I was 20 to get a girl I considered very attractive to agree to do the deed with me,
That "saving it for someone special" is a kicker.
Someone special! Har har! Some special porn site!

Jennifer
09-09-2005, 03:57 PM
Someone special! Har har! Some special porn site!
:lol:

My tell me about your first time thing has gone flat...too many depressing stories. What is the next question.

calpurnpiso
09-09-2005, 04:07 PM
It is obvious those men with the highest amount of testosterone and free from Christ-psychosis (religious-psychosis in general), masturbate the most....:)

ghoulslime
09-09-2005, 04:30 PM
It is obvious those men with the highest amount of testosterone and free from Christ-psychosis (religious-psychosis in general), masturbate the most....:)
I don't recall seeing your answer to the sex poll, Cal. :/

ghoulslime
09-09-2005, 04:31 PM
Someone special! Har har! Some special porn site!
:lol:

My tell me about your first time thing has gone flat...too many depressing stories. What is the next question.
OK! Next masturbation question!

Would your rather do yourself or have somebody else do the job for you?

Jennifer
09-09-2005, 04:34 PM
Would your rather do yourself or have somebody else do the job for you?
Somebody else.

ProveIt
09-09-2005, 04:41 PM
A more telling question is when did you start masturbating. .
I was 7 when I noticed that I had been masturbating.
OK! Next masturbation question!

Would your rather do yourself or have somebody else do the job for you?
We can take turns can't we...? Better to have done to me though... I like to watch ;)

Would you let your 'significant other' watch? Or do you keep it all for yourself?

ghoulslime
09-09-2005, 09:29 PM
A more telling question is when did you start masturbating. .
I was 7 when I noticed that I had been masturbating.
OK! Next masturbation question!

Would your rather do yourself or have somebody else do the job for you?
We can take turns can't we...? Better to have done to me though... I like to watch ;)

Would you let your 'significant other' watch? Or do you keep it all for yourself?
I'd share with you. :D

ghoulslime
09-09-2005, 09:31 PM
Would your rather do yourself or have somebody else do the job for you?
Somebody else.
Let me know if I can give you a hand.

ChiefOfAss
09-10-2005, 11:28 AM
It is obvious those men with the highest amount of testosterone and free from Christ-psychosis (religious-psychosis in general), masturbate the most....:)
This has probably already been said, but I don't think masturbation (among men, anyway) can be distinguished among religious lines. What seems the only probable characterization one can make is that the Christ-o's feel bad about it... but, wax their carrots just the same.

As I recall, the only authorities that talked about masturbation with any specificity were the Christ-o people. Who should know better than supposedly celibate Catholic priests about the implacable temptation of onanism?

Who knows if wanking isn't a purely Christian artifact – after all, the Romans didn't have to bother with spanking in shame... fuck no, they just gathered 'round and scrambled their eggs on a slave, or relieved their sexual tensions in a massive coed convoy down the road of choad.

Personally, I think it was those women hating priests of the first several centuries that INVENTED the sport of jerkin'.

Doesn't it make sense? Tell all the little boys not to touch themselves... then, the call of Father Smarmy would seem irresistible.

James
09-10-2005, 11:47 AM
You're all wankers. :P And I like it. ;)

ghoulslime
09-10-2005, 01:27 PM
You're all wankers. :P And I like it. ;)
I'm a wanker! You're a wanker!

Wouldn't YOU like to be a wanker too?

ProveIt
09-10-2005, 02:43 PM
Would your rather do yourself or have somebody else do the job for you?
Somebody else.
Let me know if I can give you a hand.
Now I wanna watch that... ;) ;)

ProveIt
09-10-2005, 02:48 PM
It is obvious those men with the highest amount of testosterone and free from Christ-psychosis (religious-psychosis in general), masturbate the most....:)
This has probably already been said, but I don't think masturbation (among men, anyway) can be distinguished among religious lines. What seems the only probable characterization one can make is that the Christ-o's feel bad about it... but, wax their carrots just the same.

As I recall, the only authorities that talked about masturbation with any specificity were the Christ-o people. Who should know better than supposedly celibate Catholic priests about the implacable temptation of onanism?

Who knows if wanking isn't a purely Christian artifact – after all, the Romans didn't have to bother with spanking in shame... fuck no, they just gathered 'round and scrambled their eggs on a slave, or relieved their sexual tensions in a massive coed convoy down the road of choad.

Personally, I think it was those women hating priests of the first several centuries that INVENTED the sport of jerkin'.

Doesn't it make sense? Tell all the little boys not to touch themselves... then, the call of Father Smarmy would seem irresistible.
So, correct me if I'm wrong... You'd prefer to go back to the days when we more resembled monkeys/apes/etc. When beating off and tossing spunk was not just fun in the shower... but also fun when flung onto the onlookers...

ghoulslime
09-10-2005, 03:37 PM
Somebody else.
Let me know if I can give you a hand.
Now I wanna watch that... ;) ;)
Watch? Bullshit! We're yanking your panties off for a go too! :D

Jennifer
09-10-2005, 06:53 PM
Its clear to me now. Ex-Mormons are the Devil.

calpurnpiso
09-10-2005, 06:55 PM
I believe masturbation is a way for our bodies ( males) to tell us to evacuate the dreaded Senectude inducing Substance, semen. It is imperative for us males to remove stored semen everyday!..if we want to stay healthy, looking young, active, keep our immune system in top condition, not have headches, avoid alzheimers and other illness that wait for senectude to set in and jump us!
This healthy excercise works best on healthy minds (atheists). A religious-psychosis infected mind fights the efficacy of DSRFH ( Daily Semen Removal For Health). I'm a living proof. At LXIII I look in my 40's, never get sick, never get headaches, every night I sleep trememdously sound, I do not wear glasses, do not take medicines, I'll never think of taking viagra,( to me a joke for Christ-psychotic old people to spend their money)...and when I get together with my LCTs ( libido Care Takers) I could perform twice at removing the odious AS (Aging Substance), exhausting my 30+ year younger LCTs.

Religious psychosis is always an impediment to the DSRFH. AHHH life is great without the RVirus (religious virus)................:)

calpurnpiso
09-10-2005, 06:59 PM
Its clear to me now. Ex-Mormons are the Devil.
Ex-mormons make excellent LCTs. I hade few...and those infected with Christ-psychosis?....they are sine qua non! since they follow the instructions at adoring Priapus, to the letter!..they can't hardly wait for such joyous sinful ocassion.........:)

Jennifer
09-10-2005, 06:59 PM
I believe masturbation is a way for our bodies ( males) to tell us to evacuate the dreaded Senectude inducing Substance, semen.
But, then, why would women do it?

ghoulslime
09-10-2005, 10:22 PM
LIVE ON THE SCENE SEX REPORT

This is Ghoulslime, reporting to you live from my bedroom. As I type this, YuYu is on her knees in front of me sucking my magic wand.

Let me give you some background into the story. Earlier this evening, YuYu called and asked why I never call her anymore. She asked me to go to a movie with her. It appears that some sort of preliminary sexual activity transpired during this movie, which led to the present situation.

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav1.jpg
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav2.jpg
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav3.jpg

I would like to give you more information into this latest development, but YuYu is trying to get me to move to the bed with her.

This report has been brought to you by….I have no fucking idea. I’m gonna screw now!

calpurnpiso
09-10-2005, 11:16 PM
I believe masturbation is a way for our bodies ( males) to tell us to evacuate the dreaded Senectude inducing Substance, semen.
But, then, why would women do it?
Pleasure and excercise, and as long as they do not hold that aging substance we males emanate, the excercise and illusion of holding the aging substance, which oxydizes cells, will rejuvenate the system.....:)

calpurnpiso
09-10-2005, 11:18 PM
LIVE ON THE SCENE SEX REPORT

This is Ghoulslime, reporting to you live from my bedroom. As I type this, YuYu is on her knees in front of me sucking my magic wand.

Let me give you some background into the story. Earlier this evening, YuYu called and asked why I never call her anymore. She asked me to go to a movie with her. It appears that some sort of preliminary sexual activity transpired during this movie, which led to the present situation.

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav1.jpg
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav2.jpg
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav3.jpg

I would like to give you more information into this latest development, but YuYu is trying to get me to move to the bed with her.

This report has been brought to you by….I have no fucking idea. I’m gonna screw now!
Hmmm..nice looking LCT (Libido Care taker) ghoul! Stay young!.........:)

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 12:18 AM
LIVE ON THE SCENE SEX REPORT

This is Ghoulslime, reporting to you live from my bedroom. As I type this, YuYu is on her knees in front of me sucking my magic wand.

Let me give you some background into the story. Earlier this evening, YuYu called and asked why I never call her anymore. She asked me to go to a movie with her. It appears that some sort of preliminary sexual activity transpired during this movie, which led to the present situation.

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav1.jpg
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav2.jpg
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/rav3.jpg

I would like to give you more information into this latest development, but YuYu is trying to get me to move to the bed with her.

This report has been brought to you by….I have no fucking idea. I’m gonna screw now!
Hmmm..nice looking LCT (Libido Care taker) ghoul! Stay young!.........:)
She may just kill me! :D

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 12:18 AM
INTERMISSION

Break time. Ghoulslime needs to recharge. Getting old, I guess. YuYu is going to spend the night at Slime’s house. If you never hear from me again, know that I died a happy Ghoul.

P.S. ATTN: moderators

Is it alright if I post a pornographic picture on this site?

Eva
09-11-2005, 07:55 AM
i sure hope ask yoo-yoo before doing it.......

Brenbrenchan
09-11-2005, 09:51 AM
As a young Mormon boy, I was taught that masturbation leads to homosexuality. Well, jeepers! I try not to leap my lizard at all! And I try to nail as many woman as I can. Jesus, please don't let me turn gay!
Well, That's hypocrisy at it's best.

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 10:29 AM
i sure hope ask yoo-yoo before doing it.......
Of Course! Actually, it was her idea to take the nasty ones. We don't have any face shots. Come on! Do you think we're completely crazy? Wait, let me rephrase that! We don't have any face shots. We're not completely crazy! We only took a picture of our pee pees. Would Ghoulslime be crossing the line if he posted a picture of a woo woo and a wee wee next to each other? Please keep in mind that there are people on this thread whose masturbation habits will be affected by your answer.

~ Yours in perversion,

Ghoulslime

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 10:50 AM
Please keep in mind that there are people on this thread whose masturbation habits will be affected by your answer.
Namely... Ghouls...lol

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 11:03 AM
Please keep in mind that there are people on this thread whose masturbation habits will be affected by your answer.
Namely... Ghouls...lol
I can assure you, that after last night, I will be doing no masturbation for a while. :|






MODERATORS! Do I get to post my nasty picture or what? :o

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 11:41 AM
I can assure you, that after last night, I will be doing no masturbation for a while. :|
::: applauds a job well done ::: Way to go YuYu

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 11:42 AM
Saying her name makes me feel like I'm the conductor on a train... haha YuYu



:::ProveIt is Lame:::

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 12:16 PM
Saying her name makes me feel like I'm the conductor on a train... haha YuYu



:::ProveIt is Lame:::
!!! Hah! :lol:

Actually, I have this thing I do to her sometimes when she is walking. I hold on to her shoulders from behind and move them from side to side, saying, "chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga," then I reach around and squeeze her tits and say, "Yu Yu!" :lol:

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 12:40 PM
Actually, I have this thing I do to her sometimes when she is walking. I hold on to her shoulders from behind and move them from side to side, saying, "chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga," then I reach around and squeeze her tits and say, "Yu Yu!" :lol:
Maybe it's the whole Mormon thing... we try to put everything to song...
Why, earlier today I was thinking of you. I noticed myself whistling and thought. Hmm, I wonder if G knows that one... so, pardon my voice... it's a bit scratchy...

:::no idea what key - But I do know it's a bouncy one:::
The pro fit I know best of all is Spen cer Double U Kim Ball..., I Love to hear his Gen tle voice, for He's so Kind and Hum ble. ::::bunch of doot dee dooing... cause I only remember the tune... K, come in strong here...:::: cause when he tells me what to do I get to work and do it. I do it now! :::More doot dee doing while we go straight into the next song...:::

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 01:04 PM
Actually, I have this thing I do to her sometimes when she is walking. I hold on to her shoulders from behind and move them from side to side, saying, "chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga," then I reach around and squeeze her tits and say, "Yu Yu!" :lol:
Maybe it's the whole Mormon thing... we try to put everything to song...
Why, earlier today I was thinking of you. I noticed myself whistling and thought. Hmm, I wonder if G knows that one... so, pardon my voice... it's a bit scratchy...

:::no idea what key - But I do know it's a bouncy one:::
The pro fit I know best of all is Spen cer Double U Kim Ball..., I Love to hear his Gen tle voice, for He's so Kind and Hum ble. ::::bunch of doot dee dooing... cause I only remember the tune... K, come in strong here...:::: cause when he tells me what to do I get to work and do it. I do it now! :::More doot dee doing while we go straight into the next song...:::
:lol::lol::lol:

And when he tells me to get to work, I pull down my pants and I start to jerk,
'cause I don't want to get blue balls! :D

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Those years of Primary and Sunday School brainwashing still haven't worn off of me either. I can still sing my kiddie songs too! :D

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 01:13 PM
Saying her name makes me feel like I'm the conductor on a train... haha YuYu



:::ProveIt is Lame:::
!!! Hah! :lol:

Actually, I have this thing I do to her sometimes when she is walking. I hold on to her shoulders from behind and move them from side to side, saying, "chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga," then I reach around and squeeze her tits and say, "Yu Yu!" :lol:
I would like to add a disclaimer to this YuYu situation, so that no one gets the idea that I am some sexual predator exploiting a young girl. (I am but not in this case) :D

YuYu and I are the BEST of friends. If she were older, or I were younger, then maybe it could be something different. I read through this YuYu posting one more time and realized it looks like I am making fun of YuYu. I am laughing WITH her, not at her. I love her and she loves me, but we keep it to friends and occasional screw partners. She is the sweetest woman I have EVER met in my life, with the most fantastic sense of humor you can imagine. If she were 20 years older, she would be my life partner of choice, no doubt, but as it stands we shall remain sex buddies for a while and friends forever. :)


Now, about the nasty picture! Can I post it or not? Goddamn your Atheist souls to hell! :mad:

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 01:16 PM
How did it go?

Sunbeam
Star
CTR A
CTR B
Blazer?
Valliant A
Valliant B
YW/YM
There must be some others in there too... I just remember running laps, thank gawd they make that hallway go all the way around the chapel! And the wall separating the door to the bishops office and the hallway... good place to sneek to... And that little cubby under the baptismal font... geesh... bad times, bad times... LOL

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 01:21 PM
How did it go?

Sunbeam
Star
CTR A
CTR B
Blazer?
Valliant A
Valliant B
YW/YM
There must be some others in there too... I just remember running laps, thank gawd they make that hallway go all the way around the chapel! And the wall separating the door to the bishops office and the hallway... good place to sneek to... And that little cubby under the baptismal font... geesh... bad times, bad times... LOL
I still have a CTR ring and a Duty To God award. :D

Oh, the stories about church adventures I could share with you!

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 01:22 PM
How did it go?

Sunbeam
Star
CTR A
CTR B
Blazer?
Valliant A
Valliant B
YW/YM
There must be some others in there too... I just remember running laps, thank gawd they make that hallway go all the way around the chapel! And the wall separating the door to the bishops office and the hallway... good place to sneek to... And that little cubby under the baptismal font... geesh... bad times, bad times... LOL
Sorry... I seem to have jumped boards... my apologies...

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 01:26 PM
I still have a CTR ring and a Duty To God award. :D

Oh, the stories about church adventures I could share with you!
I got in trouble with the YW cause I told them I didn't give a fk about their little necklace... they ended up giving me one... and I wouldn't go up and accept it. My father gave me that look like you better get your ass up there... (or it'll be red, you know - not the good kinda spankin). I walked up, took it, walked down and handed it straight to my mother. 'Here you wear it.' Yeah... I don't know... I don't think I was feeling it. It was shortly after that that I was not required to go anymore...

Another brick in the wall
09-11-2005, 01:38 PM
I hard a much easier time leaving the Crutch. I didn't have many friends, so their veiled threats of ostracism didn't phase me. Oh no, you mean you're going to exclude me from church? Oh please, anything but that! One time when I was in church, one of my few friends asked point blank if I believed in any of this. I didn't answer, but sometimes I wish I had.

On a side note, I noticed that Mormons kids with strict parents generally had kind of a haggard expression all the time. A lot of them have to wake up at 4 am for extra religious study and then go to school. So many of them look completely miserable. I feel bad for them. One time, a bunch of Mormon kids tried to pull a prank, but thet got caught. They decided to egg the school buses at the bus garage. I also noticed that the bishop's daughter tends to be the wildest.

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 02:01 PM
I hard a much easier time leaving the Crutch. I didn't have many friends, so their veiled threats of ostracism didn't phase me. Oh no, you mean you're going to exclude me from church? Oh please, anything but that! One time when I was in church, one of my few friends asked point blank if I believed in any of this. I didn't answer, but sometimes I wish I had. .
It would not do any good. The just look at you, pat you on the head and smile. Like nothin happened. All the while your dreaming of being anywhere but there. Leaning against that freakin straw wallpaper (meant to be a deterant, I'm sure... for us kids not to lean on the walls?).
On a side note, I noticed that Mormons kids with strict parents generally had kind of a haggard expression all the time. A lot of them have to wake up at 4 am for extra religious study and then go to school. So many of them look completely miserable. I feel bad for them. One time, a bunch of Mormon kids tried to pull a prank, but thet got caught. They decided to egg the school buses at the bus garage. I also noticed that the bishop's daughter tends to be the wildest.
My parents tried to force me to go to 'seminary' in the mornings before school. Before they realized that I would need a freakin ride ! LOL And no matter what they thought... I was only going to do the questions that were multiple choice. And that when asked an opinion question and I gave my opinion it would be marked correct. Not, 'Well, the correct answer is'... Um, no, if you wanted me to give your opinion, you should not have asked for mine. Yeah, I think I was in that hole for maybe 3 weeks? Then they decided that it would be best if I joined the kids that were too far away to make it in each morning, and they put us all in the nursery on Sunday before service... Yeah, luckily my old man was missin some quality tv time so that didn't last either. Three hours on a Sunday is quite long enough... Plus meetings after church... and then seminary before... WTF... Maybe if I'd actually wanted to go my father would have changed his mind and stopped going...LOL I don't think my parents are such strong believers... Don't get me wrong, I think that they want to believe... In something. They were pretty strong thinkers at one time... and they kept everyone on their toes. Now they don't get into the debate of it all. They just want to be a part of something I think. I guess I should be glad that it's not harmful... afterall they did pass up the kool-aid. And there is a chance that my father will have plenty of tang in heaven...LOL I haven't figured out what keeps my mom in. I guess just that she loves my father. (Really, unsure here... I don't think it was his idea in the first place.)

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 02:07 PM
How did it go?

Sunbeam
Star
CTR A
CTR B
Blazer?
Valliant A
Valliant B
YW/YM
There must be some others in there too... I just remember running laps, thank gawd they make that hallway go all the way around the chapel! And the wall separating the door to the bishops office and the hallway... good place to sneek to... And that little cubby under the baptismal font... geesh... bad times, bad times... LOL
Sorry... I seem to have jumped boards... my apologies...
YOu can make it up to us by letting us all jump your bones.

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 02:11 PM
YOu can make it up to us by letting us all jump your bones.
Darlin it's been soo long... I'm not sure that I'd remember how...

:::ProveIt leads a sad life:::
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Edit: Form a line ... I'll see what I can do.

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 02:17 PM
I hard a much easier time leaving the Crutch. I didn't have many friends, so their veiled threats of ostracism didn't phase me. Oh no, you mean you're going to exclude me from church? Oh please, anything but that! One time when I was in church, one of my few friends asked point blank if I believed in any of this. I didn't answer, but sometimes I wish I had.

On a side note, I noticed that Mormons kids with strict parents generally had kind of a haggard expression all the time. A lot of them have to wake up at 4 am for extra religious study and then go to school. So many of them look completely miserable. I feel bad for them. One time, a bunch of Mormon kids tried to pull a prank, but thet got caught. They decided to egg the school buses at the bus garage. I also noticed that the bishop's daughter tends to be the wildest.
Without a doubt, the Mormon mothers take the most wear a tear. They are so miserable it is disturbing. It didn't really sink in with me until a few years back when I drove up to Idaho and stopped past my hometown. I went to visit a friend. When I pulled up to his house, there were some Mormon friends I went to high school with gathered around talking, waiting to say hello to me. They all looked ancient. This one chick that I had the hots for years ago looked old enough to be my mother. (No kidding) She boasted to me that she had seven kids and four grand kids! :o

I recall the strange look one of my friends had as he made a mental comparison. He kept looking at Ghoulslime's smiling face, shining sport's car, young chick with big tits sitting in it, and then at the haggard faces of the faithful Mormons enjoying the blessings of God.

One of the last things he said to me before I left was, "Religion is a bunch of bullshit, aint it?"

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 02:18 PM
YOu can make it up to us by letting us all jump your bones.
Darlin it's been soo long... I'm not sure that I'd remember how...

:::ProveIt leads a sad life:::
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Edit: Form a line ... I'll see what I can do.
Well, I for one would be delighted to give you a refresher course. :D I'm getting in line right now! :P

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 02:33 PM
Alright, Slime is tired of waiting for permission to post a naughty picture. :mad:

I suppose it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

I am posting the least nasty of YuYu and Ghoulslime’s bed shoot.

There is minimal physical contact in this photo, we are both consenting adults, and the purpose of this photo is to document the anatomy of Ghoulslime and YuYu as a prop for the discussion of sexuality. Therefore, under US definitions of pornography, this photo does not constitute pornography. ;)

Moderators, please forgive me for what I am about to do! :|

OK. The Goods! :D

Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00037.jpg

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 02:37 PM
Alright, Slime is tired of waiting for permission to post a naughty picture. :mad:

I suppose it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

I am posting the least nasty of YuYu and Ghoulslime’s bed shoot.

There is minimal physical contact in this photo, we are both consenting adults, and the purpose of this photo is to document the anatomy of Ghoulslime and YuYu as a prop for the discussion of sexuality. Therefore, under US definitions of pornography, this photo does not constitute pornography. ;)

Moderators, please forgive me for what I am about to do! :|

OK. The Goods! :D

Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00037.jpg
Naughty, naughty.... Is that a little... or a thick... hmmm.... Well then...

Switch25
09-11-2005, 03:08 PM
Ghoulslime you have just increased the views per hour ratio of this topic.

Big Bang
09-11-2005, 03:17 PM
Ghoulslime you have just increased the views per hour ratio of this topic.
lmao, i just sat here staring at that picture for ten minutes. any more of them? :)

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 03:18 PM
Ghoulslime you have just increased the views per hour ratio of this topic.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YuYu just woke up and saw this picture posted in here. She is in the bathroom laughing. :lol:

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 03:22 PM
Ghoulslime you have just increased the views per hour ratio of this topic.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YuYu just woke up and saw this picture posted in here. She is in the bathroom laughing. :lol:
I told you it would influence Ghoulslimes beating off habits...lol Still lookin? ;)

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 03:24 PM
174 Posts.... 2450 Views!!! Let's see how long it takes to make it through the rest of the board about the pic... should double by tomorrow !...LOL

Edit: I'm going in IRC and telling everyone! LOL

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 03:28 PM
Ghoulslime you have just increased the views per hour ratio of this topic.
lmao, i just sat here staring at that picture for ten minutes. any more of them? :)
:D

Yes, there were 41 total, but this was the mildest of them. (I don’t want to get kicked off of Raving Atheist, because then I would have no life at all.)

Most of the other pictures are way over the top for anything but a porno site – penetration and some jizz shots, tongue on asshole, that sort of thing. YuYu and I went through them and deleted everything with our faces in them. With a picture of just our genitalia there is always plausible deniability. We can just say they ain’t our pee pees. With a picture of YuYu with Ghoulslime’s love juice shooting over her face and forehead, it’s hard to deny if her mother happens to get a copy. ;)


OK. Feeling generous!

Here's one more! ( YuYu is trying to stop me from posting it. She says, "no more! No More!"

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00038.jpg

Qwertz
09-11-2005, 03:30 PM
*shudder*

-Q

calpurnpiso
09-11-2005, 03:35 PM
Alright, Slime is tired of waiting for permission to post a naughty picture. :mad:

I suppose it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

I am posting the least nasty of YuYu and Ghoulslime’s bed shoot.

There is minimal physical contact in this photo, we are both consenting adults, and the purpose of this photo is to document the anatomy of Ghoulslime and YuYu as a prop for the discussion of sexuality. Therefore, under US definitions of pornography, this photo does not constitute pornography. ;)

Moderators, please forgive me for what I am about to do! :|

OK. The Goods! :D

Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00037.jpg
Ahh...the rites of sacramental Eucharist!. The God Priapus/Min/Sol/Jesus getting annointed at the Holy Gates before entering the Cave of Creation!...but it is incomplete!. One needs at least 7 instances of the Holy Rite. You posted only #2!.
Here is the sequence that must be followed when depicting G-D in the Holy of Holies:

*The 1st is a view of the Godhead accompanied by the grand Spheres of dualism and the Cave of Creation exuding Holy Oil.
* The head of the God separating the holy Curtains before opening the gates of the Cave of Creation. ( the picture you posted).
*The body and the God-Head forcing the Gates open being caressed by its Holy curtains while it's been annointed by Holy oil.
*The God revealing its powerful hardness, its head filled with resplandent universes sliding firmly into the inner gates, near the Holy of Holies, the Sacred Altar.
*The god is now at the altar where the goddess of the cave have placed the cosmic Egg, but the god must first open and close, with a holy rythm like ocean waves on a sandy beach, the inner gates 12 times while saying yes and no. This sign of humility will allow the River of life to leave its cell. The words : Eat for this is my Body and drink for this is my Semen/blood, must be pronounced at this instant.
*The Radiant god is exuberant while the torrential River of life containing billions of solar systems, as offerings, explodes, depositing them into the holy cosmic egg. An Inner happiness with cosmic exctasy engulfs the whole area. The god is pleased.
* The God walks backward always facing the altar, looking at it with is only eye as Polyphemus would have done, while constantly loosing it arrogance, shrinking and bowing its head, ready to enjoy resolution while meditating before resting. An act of creation had occurred, but ONLY the act. Next time post all of the 7 pictures....:)

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 03:36 PM
*shudder*

-Q
What's amatta, Qwertz? You don't like love? :lol:

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 03:37 PM
Alright, Slime is tired of waiting for permission to post a naughty picture. :mad:

I suppose it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

I am posting the least nasty of YuYu and Ghoulslime’s bed shoot.

There is minimal physical contact in this photo, we are both consenting adults, and the purpose of this photo is to document the anatomy of Ghoulslime and YuYu as a prop for the discussion of sexuality. Therefore, under US definitions of pornography, this photo does not constitute pornography. ;)

Moderators, please forgive me for what I am about to do! :|

OK. The Goods! :D

Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00037.jpg
Ahh...the rites of sacramental Eucharist!. The God Priapus/Min/Sol/Jesus getting annointed at the Holy Gates before entering the Cave of Creation!...but it is incomplete!. One needs at least 7 instances of the Holy Rite. You posted only #2!.
Here is the sequence that must be followed when depicting G-D in the Holy of Holies:

*The 1st is a view of the Godhead accompanied by the grand Spheres of dualism and the Cave of Creation exuding Holy Oil.
* The head of the God separating the holy Curtains before opening the gates of the Cave of Creation. ( the picture you posted).
*The body and the God-Head forcing the Gates open being caressed by its Holy curtains while it's been annointed by Holy oil.
*The God revealing its powerful hardness, its head filled with resplandent universes sliding firmly into the inner gates, near the Holy of Holies, the Sacred Altar.
*The god is now at the altar where the goddess of the cave have placed the cosmic Egg, but the god must first open and close, with a holy rythm like ocean waves on a sandy beach, the inner gates 12 times while saying yes and no. This sign of humility will allow the River of life to leave its cell. The words : Eat for this is my Body and drink for this is my Semen/blood, must be pronounced at this instant.
*The Radiant god is exuberant while the torrential River of life containing billions of solar systems, as offerings, explodes, depositing them into the holy cosmic egg. An Inner happiness with cosmic exctasy engulfs the whole area. The god is pleased.
* The God walks backward always facing the altar, looking at it with is only eye as Polyphemus would have done, while constantly loosing it arrogance, shrinking and bowing its head, ready to enjoy resolution while meditating before resting. An act of creation had occurred, but ONLY the act. Next time post all of the 7 pictures....:)
Ok. I will review my rituals and try to improve myself.

Switch25
09-11-2005, 04:03 PM
(I don’t want to get kicked off of Raving Atheist, because then I would have no life at all.)
Who would kick you off the RA? We have to keep you on- where would we get good stories. :P

deleted everything with our faces in them. With a picture of just our genitalia there is always plausible deniability. We can just say they ain’t our pee pees. With a picture of YuYu with Ghoulslime’s love juice shooting over her face and forehead, it’s hard to deny if her mother happens to get a copy. ;)
LOL, didn't you just show us pictures of you and YuYu?

( YuYu is trying to stop me from posting it. She says, "no more! No More!"
Tell her we don't judge, and that she's going to become famous on the RA (in a good way). :D

Jennifer
09-11-2005, 04:03 PM
OMG!

GS you nut! I can't beleive you did that! Now we will have to be ravingatheist.xxx

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 04:21 PM
(I don’t want to get kicked off of Raving Atheist, because then I would have no life at all.)
Who would kick you off the RA? We have to keep you on- where would we get good stories. :P
Whew! Had me sweatin', man! :D

deleted everything with our faces in them. With a picture of just our genitalia there is always plausible deniability. We can just say they ain’t our pee pees. With a picture of YuYu with Ghoulslime’s love juice shooting over her face and forehead, it’s hard to deny if her mother happens to get a copy. ;)
LOL, didn't you just show us pictures of you and YuYu?
Yeah, but not with our faces and bum bums in the same picture. I can always say, "Hey, that's not MY dick!" And they would have to do dickprints to prove it. "Hey, Chuck, run these dick prints with the national database and see if anything comes up." :D


( YuYu is trying to stop me from posting it. She says, "no more! No More!"
Tell her we don't judge, and that she's going to become famous on the RA (in a good way). :D
Actually, I think the "no more, no more" is more of a "do more, do more" - like when she is getting screwed silly and says "no more no more" and then opens up wider to receive the thrusts a little harder. :)

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 04:22 PM
OMG!

GS you nut! I can't beleive you did that! Now we will have to be ravingatheist.xxx
Somebody has to be raving. I mean, come on! :o

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 04:41 PM
OMG!

GS you nut! I can't beleive you did that! Now we will have to be ravingatheist.xxx
;)

Switch25
09-11-2005, 04:53 PM
OMG!

GS you nut! I can't beleive you did that! Now we will have to be ravingatheist.xxx
Just think of it this way-
Whenever someone tries to look for porn they will be shown to the Raving Atheist. When (in sheer curiosity) they look over the forums and see our logic and things that are wrong with religion, they will say "they have a very good point" or "Wow, I never thought of that before!" or "Atheists don't feel guilty about looking at these kind of things, SO IT MUST BE THE RIGHT WAY TO GO!". And in turn a flood of atheists will emerge. Thank you GS for turning the porn searching world to atheism. :P

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 05:09 PM
OMG!

GS you nut! I can't beleive you did that! Now we will have to be ravingatheist.xxx
Just think of it this way-
Whenever someone tries to look for porn they will be shown to the Raving Atheist. When (in sheer curiosity) they look over the forums and see our logic and things that are wrong with religion, they will say "they have a very good point" or "Wow, I never thought of that before!" or "Atheists don't feel guilty about looking at these kind of things, SO IT MUST BE THE RIGHT WAY TO GO!". And in turn a flood of atheists will emerge. Thank you GS for turning the porn searching world to atheism. :P
Excellent spin! Porno for truth!

I like the alliteration!

ghoulslime
09-11-2005, 07:26 PM
With a little help from god, this thread should hit 3000 by tomorrow!

I’d personally like to thank Choobus for starting this. And I’d like to thank all of the people who came here to come. This has definitely been one of the more stimulating threads for me. It would be a shame to let it peter out before we set a new record. Har har! Get it? Peter out? Ahahahahahahahahaha! Hardy har har! Cough cough.

ProveIt
09-11-2005, 08:03 PM
With a little help from god, this thread should hit 3000 by tomorrow!

I’d personally like to thank Choobus for starting this. And I’d like to thank all of the people who came here to come. This has definitely been one of the more stimulating threads for me. It would be a shame to let it peter out before we set a new record. Har har! Get it? Peter out? Ahahahahahahahahaha! Hardy har har! Cough cough.
With all the prayers they may just keep coming, and coming, and coming... I felt a har har necessary as well... ;)

vsxd903s
09-12-2005, 05:55 AM
This is the best thread that I've ever seen.

ProveIt
09-12-2005, 06:04 AM
09/11/05 10:30 pmWith a little help from god, this thread should hit 3000 by tomorrow!
09/12/05 2750... and it's only 9:00 am (EST)... very good chance I'd say.

ChiefOfAss
09-12-2005, 06:47 AM
It is obvious those men with the highest amount of testosterone and free from Christ-psychosis (religious-psychosis in general), masturbate the most....:)
This has probably already been said, but I don't think masturbation (among men, anyway) can be distinguished among religious lines. What seems the only probable characterization one can make is that the Christ-o's feel bad about it... but, wax their carrots just the same.

As I recall, the only authorities that talked about masturbation with any specificity were the Christ-o people. Who should know better than supposedly celibate Catholic priests about the implacable temptation of onanism?

Who knows if wanking isn't a purely Christian artifact – after all, the Romans didn't have to bother with spanking in shame... fuck no, they just gathered 'round and scrambled their eggs on a slave, or relieved their sexual tensions in a massive coed convoy down the road of choad.

Personally, I think it was those women hating priests of the first several centuries that INVENTED the sport of jerkin'.

Doesn't it make sense? Tell all the little boys not to touch themselves... then, the call of Father Smarmy would seem irresistible.
So, correct me if I'm wrong... You'd prefer to go back to the days when we more resembled monkeys/apes/etc. When beating off and tossing spunk was not just fun in the shower... but also fun when flung onto the onlookers...
What? How did you get that I "prefer" that from what I wrote?

ChiefOfAss
09-12-2005, 06:55 AM
An association dedicated to exalting onanism by its practice in groups. Calling itself a "Masturbation Swing Club", this is a rare heterosexual group, or a so-called “Jack-and-Jill” wankers ring.

http://www.clubrelate.net

ProveIt
09-12-2005, 07:02 AM
fuck no, they just gathered 'round and scrambled their eggs on a slave, or relieved their sexual tensions in a massive coed convoy down the road of choad.
So, correct me if I'm wrong... You'd prefer to go back to the days when we more resembled monkeys/apes/etc. When beating off and tossing spunk was not just fun in the shower... but also fun when flung onto the onlookers...
What? How did you get that I "prefer" that from what I wrote?
That part... ;) Just watch the eyes! (and ears... what a pain in the... lol)

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 08:08 AM
09/11/05 10:30 pmWith a little help from god, this thread should hit 3000 by tomorrow!
09/12/05 2750... and it's only 9:00 am (EST)... very good chance I'd say.
We can do it! Masturbators unite! All we have to lose is a little bodily fluid!

Eva
09-12-2005, 09:19 AM
gs, now you have to ask for forgiveness.


now, who else is going to post pics like this? huh??? anybody else brave enough???

ProveIt
09-12-2005, 09:21 AM
gs, now you have to ask for forgiveness.


now, who else is going to post pics like this? huh??? anybody else brave enough???
Oh, now we're bring encouraged to post this by the moderators? I have found my new home....lol Give it a little more time... ;)

ProveIt
09-12-2005, 09:46 AM
well I go away for the weekend and Ghoulsime has turned the RA into a porn site. All I can say is, well done you magnificent bastard!

If theists weren't appalled by RA before they certainly will be now!
Back from the weekend, eh? Did you bring us pics as well? ;) ;)

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 10:38 AM
gs, now you have to ask for forgiveness.


now, who else is going to post pics like this? huh??? anybody else brave enough???
PLEASE!!! Forgive me! :o For the love of god and Jesus' penis!

P.S. Do YOU have any pics your could post? You and I could take a couple together. :P

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 10:39 AM
well I go away for the weekend and Ghoulsime has turned the RA into a porn site. All I can say is, well done you magnificent bastard!

If theists weren't appalled by RA before they certainly will be now!
Back from the weekend, eh? Did you bring us pics as well? ;) ;)
Yes, Teabag, I'd like to see some strap on pics.

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 10:46 AM
This is the best thread that I've ever seen.
:D

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 10:49 AM
Alright, Slime is tired of waiting for permission to post a naughty picture. :mad:

I suppose it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

I am posting the least nasty of YuYu and Ghoulslime’s bed shoot.

There is minimal physical contact in this photo, we are both consenting adults, and the purpose of this photo is to document the anatomy of Ghoulslime and YuYu as a prop for the discussion of sexuality. Therefore, under US definitions of pornography, this photo does not constitute pornography. ;)

Moderators, please forgive me for what I am about to do! :|

OK. The Goods! :D

Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00037.jpg
I REALLY want to know if anybody on this forum jacked it to this picture of Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo. Come on! Confess, so that god can forgive you of your sins!

Who looked at this picture and then spanked their monkey? (Or fingered their snapper as the case may be)

Eva
09-12-2005, 11:12 AM
Eva wrote:
gs, now you have to ask for forgiveness.


now, who else is going to post pics like this? huh??? anybody else brave enough???

PLEASE!!! Forgive me! For the love of god and Jesus' penis!

P.S. Do YOU have any pics your could post? You and I could take a couple together.
it will cost you big bucks!!!
(ok, lets clear this up.....no, it is not prostitution because i'm not asking for payment....but the plane tickets, you know....)

NOT!

oliverwxyz
09-12-2005, 11:25 AM
Ha ha - 3000. Probably 3001 now.

I am shcoked by the way this site has descended into sin and iniquity this way. :o

miata
09-12-2005, 02:14 PM
Ha ha - 3000. Probably 3001 now.

I am shcoked by the way this site has descended into sin and iniquity this way. :o
We are going to hell now. I can't understand how that photo of God's penis got taken. Mary was not a virgin after all.

second amendment
09-12-2005, 02:39 PM
http://www.blboys.com/tgp/08092005/cont/young-twink-03.jpg

Masterbate to this shit you fucking homos!

miata
09-12-2005, 02:43 PM
http://www.blboys.com/tgp/08092005/cont/young-twink-03.jpg

Masterbate to this shit you fucking homos!
God can jerk off when he likes

Switch25
09-12-2005, 03:33 PM
http://www.blboys.com/tgp/08092005/cont/young-twink-03.jpg

Masterbate to this shit you fucking homos!
LOL, second did you actually have to look for that. I guess your the "fucking homo".

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 04:09 PM
http://www.blboys.com/tgp/08092005/cont/young-twink-03.jpg

Masterbate to this shit you fucking homos!
LOL, second did you actually have to look for that. I guess your the "fucking homo".
I posted a picture of my penis. He posted a picture of his. :D

ProveIt
09-12-2005, 04:10 PM
gs, now you have to ask for forgiveness.


now, who else is going to post pics like this? huh??? anybody else brave enough???
PLEASE!!! Forgive me! :o For the love of god and Jesus' penis!

P.S. Do YOU have any pics your could post? You and I could take a couple together. :P
I did post... My avatar is a pic of the back of my head... Most men don't complain about the site of that... ;)

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 04:13 PM
well I go away for the weekend and Ghoulsime has turned the RA into a porn site. All I can say is, well done you magnificent bastard!

If theists weren't appalled by RA before they certainly will be now!
Maul them. Appall them. Ball them. It's my motto!



TEABAG, did you jack off to my picture? Out with it!

ProveIt
09-12-2005, 04:14 PM
Who looked at this picture and then spanked their monkey? (Or fingered their snapper as the case may be)
Is this freudian? Should it not be which ever the case may be? Or is there some implication there...?

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 04:24 PM
Who looked at this picture and then spanked their monkey? (Or fingered their snapper as the case may be)
Is this freudian? Should it not be which ever the case may be? Or is there some implication there...?
Don't mince words, lady! :mad: Did you get turned on or not?!!!

And did you rub your snapper as a consequence of this?

Switch25
09-12-2005, 04:28 PM
gs, now you have to ask for forgiveness.


now, who else is going to post pics like this? huh??? anybody else brave enough???
PLEASE!!! Forgive me! :o For the love of god and Jesus' penis!

P.S. Do YOU have any pics your could post? You and I could take a couple together. :P
I did post... My avatar is a pic of the back of my head... Most men don't complain about the site of that... ;)
THATS WHAT THAT IS! :o

I thought that was a pic of a guy getting strangled by midget sasquatch!

ProveIt
09-12-2005, 04:39 PM
THATS WHAT THAT IS! :o
I thought that was a pic of a guy getting strangled by midget sasquatch!
What?

ProveIt
09-12-2005, 04:41 PM
Who looked at this picture and then spanked their monkey? (Or fingered their snapper as the case may be)
Is this freudian? Should it not be which ever the case may be? Or is there some implication there...?
Don't mince words, lady! :mad: Did you get turned on or not?!!!

And did you rub your snapper as a consequence of this?
I won't tell... ;) ;) Keep in mind it's been Moooooooooooooooooonths.... ;) ;)

Switch25
09-12-2005, 05:09 PM
THATS WHAT THAT IS! :o
I thought that was a pic of a guy getting strangled by midget sasquatch!
What?
Midget sasquatch! The one that aliens dropped off because it was being attacked by demons. (or a rock thrown by demons in trees- the verdict is still out on that one. :/)

miata
09-12-2005, 05:34 PM
http://www.blboys.com/tgp/08092005/cont/young-twink-03.jpg

Masterbate to this shit you fucking homos!
What wrong with being a HOMO? You know you go both ways or you would not enjoy posting about the subject.

Sir Sin-O-Lot
09-12-2005, 06:18 PM
well I go away for the weekend and Ghoulsime has turned the RA into a porn site. All I can say is, well done you magnificent bastard!

If theists weren't appalled by RA before they certainly will be now!
Maul them. Appall them. Ball them. It's my motto!



TEABAG, did you jack off to my picture? Out with it!
And I thought you wre Jewish. ;)

Sir Sin-O-Lot
09-12-2005, 06:28 PM
By the way Ghoulsime, is your penchant for petite asian women designed to magnify the relative size of your penis so that when you post pics it seems even more impressive??? :lol:
Zing!

Choobus
09-12-2005, 08:13 PM
I am the master! My thread has struck a chord with the people. I will be the next governer of Kulifornia!

Jack on, jack off

Choobus
09-12-2005, 08:17 PM
Why doesn't Dirty Sanchez get on the ballot? Is that considered a subset of anal?
Subset of anal! But certainly worth mentioning as frequently as possible!
Dirty sanchez?? What the fuck is that :mad:

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 09:25 PM
By the way Ghoulsime, is your penchant for petite asian women designed to magnify the relative size of your penis so that when you post pics it seems even more impressive??? :lol:
Hhhh...huh?! :o Hey, be nice to my penis! Dude, like I would have the leisure to figure out vagina size in advance so that it will look good if I ever take a picture of my dick going into it! "Hi, my name is Ghoulslime! What’s the circumference of your vagina?"

I just lick 'em and stick 'em. There's no time to measure. :rolleyes: "Oh, baby, you're so hot! Let's take off those panties! Yeah! Let me take a taste of that. Ummmm...sooo..good. Hold on, let's see...c = 2 * pi * r and r = c / 2pi...mmmm...yeah...alright...yeah...baby, you are fine!" :D

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 09:27 PM
I am the master! My thread has struck a chord with the people. I will be the next governer of Kulifornia!

Jack on, jack off
You ARE the master of baiting! :) Our hands stroke at your will.

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 09:28 PM
Why doesn't Dirty Sanchez get on the ballot? Is that considered a subset of anal?
Subset of anal! But certainly worth mentioning as frequently as possible!
Dirty sanchez?? What the fuck is that :mad:
This is an excellent question. I believe Teabag is the most qualified to explain this splendid family activity.

ghoulslime
09-12-2005, 09:34 PM
3365 views! This thread is truly the will of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ, who masturbated on the cross for us!

Choobus
09-13-2005, 12:45 AM
I like what I'm learning here. Finally we can tell Bush, yes, our children is learning! (Learning about Dirty Sanchez and Ghoulsime's cock)

Thanks Teabag. Your guidance is going to make a nice surprise for some lucky whore next saturday night :cool:

Ghoulslime, this is my gift to you: http://www.uh-oh.com/

Jennifer
09-13-2005, 05:28 AM
No Ghoulsime I did not. Don't take it personally, I just think my lab assistants would find it distracting.... :o
This is my problem also. As of yesterday, my browser at work is net not to accept images from RA.

ChiefOfAss
09-13-2005, 08:25 AM
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00037.jpg

I REALLY want to know if anybody on this forum jacked it to this picture of Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo. Come on! Confess, so that god can forgive you of your sins!

Who looked at this picture and then spanked their monkey? (Or fingered their snapper as the case may be)
I would have, but without being able to visualize the cans, I was able to achieve fruition. Also acceptable, the roundness of your lady friend's apple bottom.

Whether tits or ass, an additional dipiction of your conquest's fertile foothills will be required to harvest the man-chowda.

ProveIt
09-13-2005, 09:31 AM
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00037.jpg

I REALLY want to know if anybody on this forum jacked it to this picture of Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo. Come on! Confess, so that god can forgive you of your sins!

Who looked at this picture and then spanked their monkey? (Or fingered their snapper as the case may be)
I would have, but without being able to visualize the cans, I was able to achieve fruition. Also acceptable, the roundness of your lady friend's apple bottom.

Whether tits or ass, an additional dipiction of your conquest's fertile foothills will be required to harvest the man-chowda.
Seconded

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 10:08 AM
http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/PIC00037.jpg

I REALLY want to know if anybody on this forum jacked it to this picture of Ghoulslime’s wee wee and YuYu’s woo woo. Come on! Confess, so that god can forgive you of your sins!

Who looked at this picture and then spanked their monkey? (Or fingered their snapper as the case may be)
I would have, but without being able to visualize the cans, I was able to achieve fruition. Also acceptable, the roundness of your lady friend's apple bottom.

Whether tits or ass, an additional dipiction of your conquest's fertile foothills will be required to harvest the man-chowda.
Seconded
:o

I hate ingratitude more in a man
than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
inhabits our frail blood.
~ William Shakespeare

Give them a dick and a cunt, and they ask for tits and ass!!! :mad:

So that in venturing ill we leave to be
The things we are for that which we expect;
And this ambitious foul infirmity,
In having much, torments us with defect
Of that we have: so then we do neglect
The thing we have; and, all for want of wit,
Make something nothing by augmenting it.
The Rape of Lucrece

Be grateful for what you have received! Embrace this gift while you may, for tomorrow it may be limp! :o

;)

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 11:28 AM
The immaculate conception!

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/ImacConcept.jpg


Why Jesus REALLY was lord!

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/JesusHung.jpg


How Joseph Smith communed with Jehovah!

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/img/uploads/JesusF.gif

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 11:30 AM
3725 hits!!! Yeah, baby! This thread is nearing 4K! Jesus loves masturbation!

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 12:03 PM
I love it, as the hits go up, the baseness also increases. You'll notice that some of the high end people on the forum want no part of this!
I noticed that. Everyone with any sense of decency seems to have abandoned this decadent thread. Ahahahahahaha! But I have a sneaking suspicion there are still a lot of voyeurs! Ah, you naughty bum lookers! Cheeky monkeys!

It looks like it is going to hit 4000, though I’m not sure what anyone could do to increase the depravity any further.

I think we have more or less walked this vile road to the end.

Eva
09-13-2005, 12:07 PM
you guys might have to do something if you want this thread to reach 4000

ProveIt
09-13-2005, 12:41 PM
I hate ingratitude more in a man
than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
inhabits our frail blood.
~ William Shakespeare
He he.. He said taint... :/

Edit: [ / quote ] in wrong place....rrr Wait... am I of no decency? Oh, well... I've been called worse.

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 01:12 PM
When Ghoulsime goes to see the dodgers he eschews the usual fare of "dodger dogs" for a more apetizing "Ghouldog"

[url]Illegal bandwidth stealing link
Dude, don't link to images on other pages! That's illegal! Copy and upload! :mad:

And that picture is truly below any level that even Ghoulslime is willing to sink, even for hits. :o:o:o

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 01:14 PM
That sounds like a wager my friend....
No! No! Let's leave bad enough alone! This is already pretty nasty, and I believe we have digressed from the original subject of masturbation.

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 01:16 PM
I hate ingratitude more in a man
than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
inhabits our frail blood.
~ William Shakespeare
He he.. He said taint... :/

Edit: [ / quote ] in wrong place....rrr Wait... am I of no decency? Oh, well... I've been called worse.
You are wonderfully indecent! :D

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 01:19 PM
you guys might have to do something if you want this thread to reach 4000
I feel compelled by GOD to do HIS work by going to a few Christian forums and bearing my testimony of the truth of this thread.

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 01:21 PM
OK, I got rid of the illegal link, but now you must remove it also....

And perhaps it is time to step back and get back to jerking off....
I second that motion! God's work is to jerk! Let no one shirk!

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 01:34 PM
I've signed up for an account at www.christianforums.com. I have to have 15 posts before I can put a link to this jack off page in my post.

Here is my first posting:

I think censorship is wonderful! We should ban everybody who disagrees with us!

ChiefOfAss
09-13-2005, 01:41 PM
I've signed up for an account at www.christianforums.com. I have to have 15 posts before I can put a link to this jack off page in my post.

Here is my first posting:

I think censorship is wonderful! We should ban everybody who disagrees with us!
My apologies, by the way, for imparting upon you any notion that the palate of pudenda you posted previously was not particularly appreciated (and so ends the alliteration).

Not for nothin', but I signed up on Christian forums... and on the topic of censorship, a moderator replaced my use of the word "shiite" with "poo-poo" based on its context.

I'd'n't that funny?

ProveIt
09-13-2005, 01:43 PM
I've signed up for an account at www.christianforums.com. I have to have 15 posts before I can put a link to this jack off page in my post.

Here is my first posting:

I think censorship is wonderful! We should ban everybody who disagrees with us!
That freakin picture I just flew by better be there in 2 hours when I get home....lol

Give them some morality questions... they love to answer those...

ProveIt
09-13-2005, 01:45 PM
Not for nothin', but I signed up on Christian forums... and on the topic of censorship, a moderator replaced my use of the word "shiite" with "poo-poo" based on its context.
I'd'n't that funny?
That's freakin hilarious... Eva, are you gonna go changin our words? Is it really you makin all these typos in my posts? I really do know the difference between your and you're... Yer behind it...huh...lol

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 01:56 PM
I've signed up for an account at www.christianforums.com. I have to have 15 posts before I can put a link to this jack off page in my post.

Here is my first posting:

I think censorship is wonderful! We should ban everybody who disagrees with us!
My apologies, by the way, for imparting upon you any notion that the palate of pudenda you posted previously was not particularly appreciated (and so ends the alliteration).

Not for nothin', but I signed up on Christian forums... and on the topic of censorship, a moderator replaced my use of the word "shiite" with "poo-poo" based on its context.

I'd'n't that funny?
Yeah, they are really lame. They have all kinds of rules and regulations. If you want to play in MY playhouse you have to follow MY rules! Nah! :P

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 02:03 PM
How long do you suppose before Ghoulslime gets banned?

Here is my bait post on Christian Forums:


Atheists are really evil!

These people are going to hell:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/view...hp?id=1378&p=12

ProveIt
09-13-2005, 02:09 PM
How long do you suppose before Ghoulslime gets banned?

Here is my bait post on Christian Forums:


Atheists are really evil!

These people are going to hell:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/view...hp?id=1378&p=12
I hope you didn't use your Ghoulish name on there forum as well....

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 02:11 PM
How long do you suppose before Ghoulslime gets banned?

Here is my bait post on Christian Forums:


Atheists are really evil!

These people are going to hell:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/view...hp?id=1378&p=12
I hope you didn't use your Ghoulish name on there forum as well....
I did. I used my email too. I'd like them to put the pieces together eventually. :lol:

ChiefOfAss
09-13-2005, 02:47 PM
How long do you suppose before Ghoulslime gets banned?

Here is my bait post on Christian Forums:


Atheists are really evil!

These people are going to hell:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/view...hp?id=1378&p=12
I hope you didn't use your Ghoulish name on there forum as well....
I'm ChiefOfBackEnd.

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 03:29 PM
You have been banned permanently from Christian Forums by Henaynei.

The person who banned you entered this comment:

Shalom,

Your various posts consist of pornography - blasphemy - misrepresentation to
gain posting privileges - trolling and spamming.

You have had your posting privileges suspended and you are banned from this
site.

Have a nice day.

b'Shalom
Henaynei
Senior Administrator

This is an automated email.

If you have any questions, you can reply to this email by clicking on this link:

http://www.christianforums.com/contact


:lol::lol::lol:

ProveIt
09-13-2005, 04:10 PM
How long do you suppose before Ghoulslime gets banned?

Here is my bait post on Christian Forums:


Atheists are really evil!

These people are going to hell:

http://ravingatheist.com/forum/view...hp?id=1378&p=12
I hope you didn't use your Ghoulish name on there forum as well....
I'm ChiefOfBackEnd.
That should throw 'em... lol

Switch25
09-13-2005, 04:40 PM
Has this topic hit the all time recored in number of views?

thomas
09-13-2005, 04:45 PM
Has this topic hit the all time recored in number of views?
Not even close, I found one with 6900 views

Switch25
09-13-2005, 04:55 PM
Has this topic hit the all time recored in number of views?
Not even close, I found one with 6900 views
LOL, Which one?

thomas
09-13-2005, 05:04 PM
Proving the existence of god? (http://ravingatheist.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=288) featuring a small war between lurker and omcpoma

ChiefOfAss
09-13-2005, 05:06 PM
gs, now you have to ask for forgiveness.


now, who else is going to post pics like this? huh??? anybody else brave enough???
PLEASE!!! Forgive me! :o For the love of god and Jesus' penis!

P.S. Do YOU have any pics your could post? You and I could take a couple together. :P
I did post... My avatar is a pic of the back of my head... Most men don't complain about the site of that... ;)
You see what you're doing there? You are objectifying yourself… breaking yourself down to mere body parts.

I can’t believe that, as a woman, you’re submitting to objectification. ‘The back of my head…” – more unbelievable? That you’re doing it willfully.

Anyway, it’s totally awesome. Please… don’t stop (creeped out yet?).

ProveIt
09-13-2005, 07:26 PM
PLEASE!!! Forgive me! :o For the love of god and Jesus' penis!

P.S. Do YOU have any pics your could post? You and I could take a couple together. :P
I did post... My avatar is a pic of the back of my head... Most men don't complain about the site of that... ;)
You see what you're doing there? You are objectifying yourself… breaking yourself down to mere body parts.

I can’t believe that, as a woman, you’re submitting to objectification. ‘The back of my head…” – more unbelievable? That you’re doing it willfully.

Anyway, it’s totally awesome. Please… don’t stop (creeped out yet?).
Only when I feel your fingers on my flesh will I ever be 'creeped out'. ;)
Why take the fun out of everything by not doing them cause I wanna... My goal is to push the limits and make my man decide if he should be doing them.... ;)

Choobus
09-13-2005, 07:54 PM
You know, we never did find out whether not religiosity has any effect on ordinary wanking frequencies. Who does jack off the most?????

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 08:42 PM
3999 hits! the next visitior is officially a major wanker!

We did it biyatches! :D
Holy handjobs of Mathew, Mark, Luke, AND John!

Our mission has had its ups and downs, but at last it has reached this climax!

PRAISE GOD!!!

God moves in mysterious ways! (That’s how he keeps the chicks coming back for more boinking.)

I for one am going to get down on my knees and…no…put those dicks away and do up those zippers! Ghoulslime doesn’t do that! I’m going to thank all of the gods of masturbation for their many blessings which made this thread possible.

Our Dogma, which art in heaven, hollowed be thy wang!
Thy kingdom of cum, thy willing bum, makes Earth a little like heaven!
Give us this day our daily head!
And forgive us our premature ejaculation, as we forgive our ass fuckers.

Damn the Christians for being such dumb motherfuckers!
Please forgive Thomas for being a foolish dildo. Bless him that his penis will grow hard…no…that his penis will grow out more than an inch. Bless him that he will find the conviction to stroke his dick tonight.

Bless Choobus for having the divine inspiration to begin your mysterious work! Bless his testicles that they will have surplus jizz that he can shoot right over the top of his favorite titties.

Thank you for gays! Praise your holy anus that you saw fit in your wisdom to put gays upon the Earth, to leave more vaginas unplugged and ready for a good pounding.

Bless the gays that they will always have hard cocks and trendy socks.

Thank thee for power bottoms! This world would be a much happier place with more power bottoms!

Thanks for men with large penises who keep Christian wives satisfied while their impotent husbands talk to imaginary people in the sky!

Thank you for large tits, and small tits, for assholes, balls, and clits!

Thank you for two hands, one to massage our balls, the other to squirt our holy water into the radiant faces of thy handmaidens.

So on, and so forth, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!

In the name of the father’s penis, the son’s testicles which he fondled on the cross for our sins, and the ghostly hole (Mary’s vagina)…AHHHHHH…she has her mouth open…get ready to stick your dicks in….MEN!


This house is CLEAN! Hallamaluli! Praise the lord! Scooby dooby do!

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 08:46 PM
You know, we never did find out whether not religiosity has any effect on ordinary wanking frequencies. Who does jack off the most?????
Good point! All this talk and we never answered the question! Oh, well! I for one have learned alot from this thread. I've learned that no matter what our differences are, we can always learn to masturbate together! :)

CROWD BREAKS INTO SONG

Cum, ye thankful people, cum! Stick your dicks in willing bums! :D

Choobus
09-13-2005, 08:49 PM
I thank you Ghoulslime for your kind words. Never was our mastubatory heritage more celebrated than here in these hallowed forums of jizz, and I am sorry for insulting you in the "how gay are you thread" by suggesting that you were being fucked in the ass by Thomas.

go wankers!

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 09:06 PM
I thank you Ghoulslime for your kind words. Never was our mastubatory heritage more celebrated than here in these hallowed forums of jizz, and I am sorry for insulting you in the "how gay are you thread" by suggesting that you were being fucked in the ass by Thomas.

go wankers!
No sweat! If I were to be fucked in the ass, I couldn't think of a finer dick to do it than Thomas! :D

I just saw that thread you dug up with 11,000 plus hits! Jesus have mercy on my hairy nut sack!

My confidence in this fine masturbation thread has been shaken!

I have...:o...lost my faith!

All we can do is hope for a miracle. Maybe all of those christian forums that I posted the link in will provide enough curious visitors. God willing, our testicles will overflow with milk and honey!

Choobus
09-13-2005, 09:11 PM
have faith GS, see my rousing speech in said thread. I was inspired by WC, but the sentiment is true

ghoulslime
09-13-2005, 09:14 PM
have faith GS, see my rousing speech in said thread. I was inspired by WC, but the sentiment is true
You have reinvigorated me like a handfull of viagra. I'm sure we can rise to the challege!

Choobus
09-13-2005, 09:41 PM
we shall rise like a pheonix from the ashes, we shall cover the world with our seed, and it will be a good thing

do not despair my ghoulish friend, the south will rise again, and when it does, it will be pounded like no meat has ever been pounded before. This I do swear, by almighty god, by Allah and cheebus and mahatmaghandi. By the power of vishnu and thor, and by the grace of the anal intruder so will it be

a choo :/

ChiefOfAss
09-14-2005, 05:12 AM
I can’t believe that, as a woman, you’re submitting to objectification. ‘The back of my head…” – more unbelievable? That you’re doing it willfully.

Anyway, it’s totally awesome. Please… don’t stop (creeped out yet?).
Only when I feel your fingers on my flesh will I ever be 'creeped out'. ;)
Why take the fun out of everything by not doing them cause I wanna... My goal is to push the limits and make my man decide if he should be doing them.... ;)
Hmmmmm.... that's odd. You know what? Now, I'm creeped out. Which isn't a bad thing, mind you. I only note it because I'm puzzled as to how it happened.

Switch25
09-14-2005, 05:58 AM
You know, we never did find out whether not religiosity has any effect on ordinary wanking frequencies. Who does jack off the most?????
LOL, I don't think we will ever find out. It seems the Theists don't want to admit it. :/

ProveIt
09-14-2005, 06:01 AM
I just saw that thread you dug up with 11,000 plus hits! Jesus have mercy on my hairy nut sack!

My confidence in this fine masturbation thread has been shaken!

I have...:o...lost my faith!

All we can do is hope for a miracle. Maybe all of those christian forums that I posted the link in will provide enough curious visitors. God willing, our testicles will overflow with milk and honey!
I'm curious as to the viewed vrs post ratio... I think that that should be the ultimate deciding factor in the viewing war. For we have faaaaaaaaaar more posts than views 282 / 4243 Was the 11,000 just a great topic that everyone wanted to put their 2 cents in? or were they also a bunch of nosey onlookers...lol

Edit: Double post... how'd that happen...

Edit: Also in our defense... that thread has been around since January, no doubt still collecting views... We'll have to check this one out in 9 months... My guess is that we will have More than tripled that score...! LOL Quick... someone close the thread so that we may have an accurate reading. They also had 18 pages... we are already one page past them. Keep the playing field level... Close please??? (unless view stop being counted once closed-then please leave open)

Edit: I must not be looking at the right one...? Proving the existance of God? 7081 and 259 posts... in 4 months... We'll have that beat in a couple days...

ProveIt
09-14-2005, 06:28 AM
Okay... So, I finally found it... they have had 29 pages and 6 months... We . can . do . it...

vsxd903s
09-14-2005, 11:14 AM
I would love to see that thread. Probably won't last long before they get banned though. Even if they are smooth with the words.

ProveIt
09-14-2005, 11:17 AM
we need some flirty fishers to gather data on theistic jerking habits. any volunteers?
Lead the way darlin... What did you have in mind? ;)