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James
08-17-2005, 05:55 AM
When I was at school there was a particular group of students headed by a certain 'Abi' who were, well, bible-bashers. They even had a Christian Union in the school, which I would gatecrash and fuck up. The union lasted about 3 sessions. Ha ha.

Anyway, here she is in all her MSN glory. You will notice that, for the most ardent of Christians, she knows little of her religion, other than a few confused statements about Jesus. She was a complete twat.

Read and enjoy. The conversation was a three way, Me (James) and my friend Johnny (A really enormous Fox) against Abi (your angels and demons).

Enjoy.

kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
oooo! i'm goin to xian fest on sat for 4 days!#
A really enormous fox says:
Orgy mania!
James says:
What is that called? 'Crusaders'
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i duno! if u all love each other i suppose1 i know i'll be trying one!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lol
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
it shud b a right laff - i'm goin on a communion tent crawl to see if i can get drunk! lol
A really enormous fox says:
You're completely different online.
A really enormous fox says:
Just thought you should know.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
am i?
A really enormous fox says:
Yeah.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
in what way?
James says:
She isn't.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lol thanx love!
A really enormous fox says:
You're a bit of slag.
A really enormous fox says:
No offense.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
oi mate! hang on a minute!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
y am i slag?
A really enormous fox says:
*raises eyebrow*
James says:
A communion tent crawl? Why don't you just go to a bar or a pub?
James says:
And communion wine tastes like skank I should think.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
cos they don't have those at a xian fest! lol no alcohol!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i know iv drunk enuf of it!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
y am i a slag?
James says:
Go on, tell us, have you 'sinned' with Paul?
A really enormous fox says:
Not "slag" per se, more ... what's the word.
A really enormous fox says:
James, help me out here.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lol!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
wudn't u like to know?
James says:
You are more loose in tongue.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
depends on what u take from the bible!
James says:
As it were.
A really enormous fox says:
Ah yes.
A really enormous fox says:
There you go.
James says:
Ah of course.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lol i was always like this!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
jus not in cu!
James says:
'What you take from the bible.'
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
indeed!
James says:
What do you 'take from the bible.'
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lots of things!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
but not all literally!
James says:
No, of course not.
A really enormous fox says:
I think we should stone Jews to death.
James says:
That would make things difficult.
A really enormous fox says:
But that's my BELIEF!
A really enormous fox says:
Yes.
A really enormous fox says:
_
A really enormous fox says:
_
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
do u? that wud be rather unfair i feel!
A really enormous fox says:
I don't.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
obviously u believe it
A really enormous fox says:
Those dirty Jews have got it commin'.
James says:
Do you believe that if you do not accept Jesus as the son of God, you will go to hell?
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
really and y is that?
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
no
A really enormous fox says:
They rape our jobs and take our women.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
really! lol
A really enormous fox says:
*slams fist on table*
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
nice!
James says:
T-h-e-n y-o-u a-r-e n-o-t a c-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
well...i am so sod off!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
!!!!!!!!!
A really enormous fox says:
That's the come back equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?"
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i know lovely isn't it!
James says:
Nope, if you don't accept the doctrine of the religion you belong to, then you are not a member of that religion.
James says:
'oops'
A really enormous fox says:
Spoken to Neal recently?
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lol
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yeah he came here on saturday nite - what a nite! lol
A really enormous fox says:
Just so you know, Neal has 'sinned'.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i believe that life isn't clear cut like that and its up to GOd!
James says:
Put his fingers in the wrong pie.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
has he in what way?
A really enormous fox says:
He has partaken of the 'poontang'.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
oh yes no about that one!
A really enormous fox says:
You do eh?
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yep!
A really enormous fox says:
He confessed to me that he once got a boner over your half naked form, as well.
A really enormous fox says:
Isn't that a lovely thought.
James says:
Yes, but believing in God doesn't make you a Christian.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yep knew dat one too!
A really enormous fox says:
Neal, with his little hard willy. Fapping away.
A really enormous fox says:
Imagining *you*.
A really enormous fox says:
I suppose he's told you all about his gf dumping him as well.
James says:
Believing the Christian interpretation of God's word does make you a Christian.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
in relation to prev comment - no it doesn't but there are different levels of believing and its what u do with ur belief
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yes he did
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
v sad
James says:
You don't believe that interpretation, therefore, you are not a Christian.
A really enormous fox says:
I expect so.
A really enormous fox says:
Tbh, he had it coming.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
it was - she was so nice
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
y?
A really enormous fox says:
I mean, ffs, he was feeling her up in public. She didn't like that. Plus, he went on these massive mood swings, and when she wasn't 'giving him any' he'd go off in a huff.
A really enormous fox says:
She felt used by him.
James says:
'in relation to prev comment - no it doesn't but there are different levels of believing and its what u do with ur belief' - No, actually it really isn't that at all. And that has nothing to do with whether you are a Christian. You are, or you are not. You can't deny the CENTRAL Christian doctrine, and then claim you are still a Christian.
James says:
'oops again'
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
o rite - didn't no dat bit i jus thort she got bored
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i'm lost sorry!
A really enormous fox says:
Fucking hell. That's a shit taken right over the English language right there.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
more interested in neal!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
which bit?
A really enormous fox says:
"o rite - didn't no dat bit i jus thort she got bored"
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
o well get ova it
A really enormous fox says:
Although, admittedly, I've seen worse.
James says:
More interested in Neal?
A really enormous fox says:
She wants to plough him.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i believe dat ur faith revolves around u and ur god so u believe what u believe on hwat u think is rite and what he's told u and what u feel!
A really enormous fox says:
Put simply.
James says:
'o well get ova it' is hardly a fitting tribute to your 'faith.'
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lol get ova dat bit 2!
James says:
No, you revolve around your faith.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
not exactly!
James says:
You can't just rewrite Christianity to suit you.
James says:
Or it isn't Christianity.
A really enormous fox says:
It becomes another religion.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
no u can't so u believe hwat u feel god is telling u cos u can't believe what everyone else belives then we'd all be terrorists or rapists etc
James says:
err...right.
James says:
So again, you are not a Christian.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i am i believe what is rite and good from what god has told me and what i have felt.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i am christian
A really enormous fox says:
You're about as Christian as my left teste.
A really enormous fox says:
_
James says:
Nope, Christian is a definite religion. From what you have said, you could be any theistic religion.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
o really! well id like to meet im/her
A really enormous fox says:
I bet you would.
A really enormous fox says:
But he's James'.
James says:
Note 'theistic' because you can have non-theistic religions like Nazism e.t.c
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yes i am part of a theistic religion but i am christian becos i stand for xian morals which were told to me by god
James says:
Standing for 'xian morals' does not make you a Christian.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
theres a v fat pigeon sat on my gate!
James says:
A religion is something you follow.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i do follow xianity and all its morals
A really enormous fox says:
Why's your mum on your gate? _
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
oooo u tell her that one!
A really enormous fox says:
I hope so.
James says:
No, you do not follow Christianity. You follow it morals, great, but you do not follow the religion.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yes i do becos god moves within me!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i asked him into my life so he came into it
James says:
That isn't an answer.
A really enormous fox says:
You forget James, "God works in mysterious ways."
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
thats y i am xian
James says:
You reject the doctrines of Christianity.
A really enormous fox says:
*cue Xfiles music"
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
indeed johnny!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
no i dont
A really enormous fox says:
I'm humouring you.
James says:
No, that is why you profess to believe in God.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i know!
James says:
God and Christianity are not one and the same.
James says:
Trust me on that.
A really enormous fox says:
Y'know what. I think the three of us should get together and have a threesome.
James says:
You would be ripped apart by any true Christian groups.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yes they are if ur xian cos if u xian u believe in god and god is xianity
A really enormous fox says:
*thrusts pelvis*
A really enormous fox says:
Shcwig!
James says:
NO! GOD IS NOT CHRISTIANITY.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
o really can paul join us?
A really enormous fox says:
No.
A really enormous fox says:
Absolutely not.
James says:
Christianity is a belief in Christ being the son of God.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
shame!
James says:
Don't you realise how anti-semitic that is? Lol!
A really enormous fox says:
Christianity literally means "Christ like". There is no reference to God.
James says:
In fact, anti every existing non-Christian religion.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
but god is the motivation and creator of xianity and the movement within it
A really enormous fox says:
Christianity is the worship of Christ, primarily, as the son of God.
A really enormous fox says:
Acknowledgement of him being the Son on God etc.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
chirst is god
A really enormous fox says:
No!
A really enormous fox says:
He is not.
James says:
Well actually, man is the motivation and creator of Christianity, but that's another story.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yes - trinity and all that
A really enormous fox says:
Christ is the Son of God.
James says:
My God, we know more about her religion than she does.
A really enormous fox says:
Sad, is it not.
A really enormous fox says:
Well, not really.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
christ is the human emobdiment of god who came to earth so he could experience life as man
A really enormous fox says:
To be expected.
A really enormous fox says:
Incorrect.
A really enormous fox says:
Go back and read the Bible.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
hang on]
A really enormous fox says:
It says, quite clearly, that Christ is the Son of God.
A really enormous fox says:
I'll go and get my Dad to fucking look up a scripture if you want.
James says:
Who died e.t.c blah blah blah e.t.c
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
it also says that god is christ, chirst is the holy spirit and the holy spirit is god one and all the same
A really enormous fox says:
Nope.
A really enormous fox says:
Ker-wrong!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
that is the xian belif
A really enormous fox says:
You're so wrong biatch!
A really enormous fox says:
*So* wrong.
James says:
brb, reading e-mail.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
well if u ask xians all of them believe that v simple fact and where did it come from if it isn't the truth from the scriopture
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
ooo biatch now am i!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
no need to get offensive!!!!!!!!!
A really enormous fox says:
You obviously trust the leaders of the Church too much.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
rite! lol
A really enormous fox says:
The King James' bible has been added to so much, it's practically a different book.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
mayb!
A really enormous fox says:
But hey, all this is wasted on you, n'est ce pas?
A really enormous fox says:
Lets all talk about Neal; naked.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
every xian belives the fundementals - i have aproblem with the bible that is personally mine so i don't know the xian jargon i shud give u
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
he's v nice!
A really enormous fox says:
Erm, right.
A really enormous fox says:
Lmao.
A really enormous fox says:
Yes, he's quite the 'hunk'.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
he's not to bad make him a bit taller an darker and he's suit me
A really enormous fox says:
Aye, but you're easy.
James says:
'every xian belives the fundementals' - The doctrine I quoted is THE fundamental.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
not in my book! lol but lets not go there
A really enormous fox says:
"If it's got pulse ... " and all that jazz. _
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
oi knob!
A really enormous fox says:
Lol!
A really enormous fox says:
Meow.
James says:
Which book do you use?
James says:
The Bible?
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
indeed saucer f milk
A really enormous fox says:
Sorry, I'm just very down, and very angry.
A really enormous fox says:
I tend to take it out on people.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i'm not goin there cos u refure to give me leway so i can't be arsed!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yeah so does ever1 its no excuse
A really enormous fox says:
James: 1 Abi: 0
A really enormous fox says:
Fair enough.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i think not! i jus win hands down cos u can't argue without considering other side of argument before u reject it
A really enormous fox says:
Whoosh!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
wht?
A really enormous fox says:
That was the noise of it going right over your head.
James says:
No, that 'rule' of making an argument only occured in R.E lessons, in real life, it is bollocks.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lol
James says:
So you do not win.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
rite! lol
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yes indeed james u win as always
A really enormous fox says:
How do you find AS R.E? Fun?
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yeah its interesting and i'm the only "xian"
A really enormous fox says:
Poor you.
James says:
And I have considered the other side! The Christian side. I was being devil's advocate for your own fucking religion.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
so its really hard but i dropped it
A really enormous fox says:
Wasting an AS like that.
A really enormous fox says:
Dear me ...
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
i took it but dropped it afterwards cos i ain't taking it nxt yr
A really enormous fox says:
Aha
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
took da AS i'l let u know how i get on!
A really enormous fox says:
Hmm, I doubt you will, somehow.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
lol
A really enormous fox says:
So, how's the 'gang'?
A really enormous fox says:
I want a run down of how everyone is.
A really enormous fox says:
Starting with Megan.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yeah really good - had an ace party on sat! real laff!
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yep she;s good - finding college harder than expected but she's enjoying da freedom
A really enormous fox says:
Next up: Elizabeth.
your angels & demons r constantly kickin & fightin & screamin! says:
yeah she's doin amazing in line for 4 A's as always but she's doin loads with her chuirch at da mo so she's a bit procupuied

Tenspace
08-17-2005, 07:46 AM
She doesn't need religion - she needs an English class or two. Maybe at gunpoint.

Ten

milk carton
08-17-2005, 01:51 PM
I went through multiple seizures just by looking at that. Jeebus...wut if i talk lyke dis? I l00k so kik ass! I rawk!!!

Striver
08-18-2005, 07:35 AM
She doesn't soudn that bad. she's not serious about her Xtianity, so maybe she'll drop out when she gets the guts to go to another group. These loose joiners are less of a threat than the hardcore devout control freaks.

James
08-22-2005, 04:53 AM
Nope, she had some fairly 'interesting' ideas about homosexuality, last time I had a face-to-face. She is always going to Christian groups and meetings.

Dumb bitch.