In homage to Dave Letterman's top ten lists, I give you the raving atheist Top Ten List thread. For those with no idea of what I am talking about, follow the link above. The rules are simple--you may post as many or as few entries as you wish, going from 10 to 1; whoever posts the #1 entry gets to post the next topic.

First topic: Why cant Choobus convert to a religious fundy?

10): Wanking isnt a commandment.

Edit:

80 pages, Jeebus Christ!

9) he would take the hymn "Oh come all ye faithful" literally

8) Cause Choob's idea of baptism doesn't involve... water

6) "Hey, where's the wine we need for communion?"

4): Doesnt follow the bible because it doesnt have pictures in it.

3) Thinks that "holy communion" is some sort of group assfucking

2) Thinks "transsubstatiation" is something that comes with a she-cock

And the number one reason Choobus cannot convert to a fundy?

he's as bent as a nine bob note

Top Ten reasons why Bill O'reilly won't get into heaven:

Adolph Hitler will object claiming "I'm the only Nazi in this villiage"

9) Because he is a lying liar who lies a lot.

8) Heaven already packed with self-contradicting windbags

7): God only lets Democrats in.

6) Because he can't clean the angels with a lufa sponge.

5): angels arent all naked, like he saw in Monty Pythons Meaning Of Life.

4) Because he shut off Jesus' mike and told him to "Shut Up!"