Greetings!
 

I have been trying to participate on Christian forums for as long as I have been on the internet, but have had to put up with rude atheists who apparently have nothing else to to but hang out on Christian forums and ask dumb questions, twist scripture, mock, and insult people they don't even know.

So, since there are fundamentalist evangelical atheists who refuse to leave us alone, I have decided to return the favor. That said, I hereby inform you that you are going to hell and provide you with today's Bible readings from the Anglican lectionary.

I will continue to do this as long as fundamentalist atheists continue to be a pain in the ass. Have a nice day.

1 Samuel 17:28-40:

28Now Eliab his eldest brother heard when he spoke to the men. And Eliab’s anger was kindled against David, and he said, "Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumption and the evil of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle." 29And David said, "What have I done now? Was it not but a word?" 30And he turned away from him toward another, and spoke(AG) in the same way, and the people answered him again as before.
31When the words that David spoke were heard, they repeated them before Saul, and he sent for him. 32And David said to Saul,(AH) "Let no man’s heart fail because of him.(AI) Your servant will go and fight with this Philistine." 33And Saul said to David, "You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him, for you are but a youth, and he has been a man of war from his youth." 34But David said to Saul, "Your servant used to keep sheep for his father. And when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock, 35I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth. And if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and struck him and killed him. 36Your servant has struck down both lions and bears, and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them,(AJ) for he has defied the armies of the living God." 37And David said,(AK) "The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." And Saul said to David, "Go,(AL) and the LORD be with you!"
38Then Saul clothed David with his armor. He put a helmet of bronze on his head and clothed him with a coat of mail, 39and David strapped his sword over his armor. And he tried in vain to go, for he had not tested them. Then David said to Saul, "I cannot go with these, for I have not tested them." So David put them off. 40Then he took his staff in his hand and chose five smooth stones from the brook and put them in his shepherd’s pouch. His sling was in his hand, and he approached the Philistine.


Luke 19:1-10

1(A) He entered Jericho and was passing through. 2And there was a man named Zacchaeus. He was a chief tax collector and was rich. 3And(B) he was seeking to see who Jesus was, but on account of the crowd he could not, because he was small of stature. 4So he ran on ahead and climbed up into(C) a sycamore tree to see him, for he was about to pass that way. 5And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for(D) I must stay at your house today." 6So he hurried and came down and(E) received him joyfully. 7And when they saw it, they all(F) grumbled, "He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner." 8And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, "Behold, Lord, the half of my goods(G) I give to the poor. And if I have(H) defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it(I) fourfold." 9And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, since(J) he also is a son of Abraham. 10For(K) the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."

::gasp! a chew toy!::

welcome to our humble forum, semi...

This chew toy will give you indigestion.

Based on what I have seen so far, it doesn't look like a whole lot of you are brilliant conversationalists.

So, in your Christian teachings, is it considered moral to punish someone for the actions of another?

If someone stole your car, is it justified to steal your neighbor's car?

You're really starting out with a bang, buddy!

this will be fun!

What does morality have to do with it?

I am fulfilling my God given ministry. If fundamentalist evangelical atheists can proselytize, so can I.

:lol: I just read this again! Buddy, do you understand what a chew toy is? All chew toys would probably give someone indigestion, they're not meant to be eaten, just chewed, slobbered on, and then discarded.
And you have set the bar really high with your first post. :rolleyes:

Yes, it will be...

So, after you're done answering my questions, would you mind giving us a brief introduction? You know, the basics: what flavor Christian are you, age (or rough range), views on things like age of the Earth and evolution, etc.

Thanks a bunch!

I do indeed know what a chew toy is, and I see a target rich environment here.

No point in being dishonest. I have no intention of coming here under the guise of "friendly" discussion, I am here to engage you at the highest level of apologetics.

Jerks who just want to cuss me out need not apply.

an uppity newcomer! me likey mucho!!

Maybe you should have given us a different motivation in your first post. You specifically stated that you are doing this in retaliation for somebody else's actions.

To your knowledge, has anyone from this forum joined your forum, and refused to leave?

Don't get me wrong, I don't want you to leave (our resident theist has gone kind of stale), I'm just calling you on your un-Christian approach.

So, if you know what a chew toy is, why would you make such a vacuous statement.

That's like responding to "You appear to be as dumb as a rock." with "This rock will break your teeth if you eat it."
Not big on sarcasm, eh?
Well, we've never seen that before.
You will probably find that you will have little control over that. Let's see if you're a big boy, and can continue discussion despite any insults.

nkb: leave some for the rest. don't be greedy.

Oh, the "not very Christian" card, first cracker out of the box!

Let's just say that fundamentalist evangelical atheists gave me the inspiration for this.

As to whether anybody from this forum was on my forum, the ones on my forum were indeed of the raving variety, so I thought this might be a good place to find them.