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Old 04-22-2010, 07:17 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,921
The Incredible Edible Jesus

Homo Sapiens have been personifying the idiosyncrasies of cosmic chaos for a long time now. From wind, to sunshine, to the gurgling sound in their tummies before they go plop plop, literally every definable and imagined parameter of human existence has been assigned to the commission of one supernatural entity or another. One must concede the awesome amplitude of imagination and creative genius that has been expended into inventing and embellishing supernatural beings through the ages. The devious ingenuity of the conmen of religious invention is astounding. Imagine the daunting task of inventing a mighty spirit that was believable enough to make people do what you say, and even give all of their shit to you! It's laudable.

Of all of the spooks, spirits, and almighty beings that humans have invented for themselves over the years, arguably, one of the most self-contradicting, silly, and thoroughly unbelievable is the carpenter zombie of blood drinkers' lore, Jesus H Christ. It is not so much the absurdity of this mythical being, as it is the ubiquitous presence and influence of the vile religious beliefs of its followers in every aspect of my daily life, that makes the son of the Virgin Mary my favorite imaginary friend to make fun of. Amongst the many gods to choose from, the multifarious, benevolent, and nefarious personifications of delusional human hope for more than mortality, I have chosen Jesus as the topic of this thread.

Now there are some of you who are probably thinking, "Ghoulslime, we have been over this before." (And we have gone over this before, on threads, here and there.) But please allow me to interject at this point to anyone questioning the wisdom of the foundation of this grand thread, fuck you, smoke my cock, drink my piss, jack me off, and suck my asshole with a milkshake straw. We have sporadically discussed this mystical-kosher-Sunday-snack god, scattering the bits and pieces of His holy holey meat lore to the four winds, until it would require a Herculean feat to gather this precious data into one comprehensive tiding of great joy. It is my sincere hope, that this tiny thread, now lying in the manger, might grow to become a mighty mother of all Jesus threads, god-fucked and Virgin-sacred as Mithra's mother's woo woo.

It is my sincere hope that this thread will be a sanctuary for discussion of the origins of the Jesus myth and mythology that is the foundation of Christianity. I pray to the Leprechauns that it will be so. This is not intended to be solely a bathroom wall for smearing poo pictures of Jesus on. I think the origins of Christ insanity are fascinating. Of course, blood drinkers are welcome to participate, but I doubt many will be stupid enough or optimistic enough to participate in discussion of this subject matter.

Well, let's start shaking Jesus' swaddling clothes, and see what falls out!

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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