Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
Am I the only one who is tempted to gouge my own ear drums out whenever I hear Mariah Carey wailing Christmas carols like some filthy alley cat howling over its explosive diarrhea? The only runners up I can think of offhand for Shittiest Christmas Singer in History would be that little retarded Justin Bieber Pinocchio puppet boy or that honky Michael Bolton doing his Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer impression. What a god-awful noise to be making on Jesus' birthday!
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Oh, that's just the tip of a very huge iceberg of ear-bleeding, finger nail scraping collection of 'festive' crap. Since 1973, Slade has been belting out the same 'Merry Christmas' bollocks that (as Choobus once noted) has accounted for 90% of seasonal suicides. Try listening to Cliff Richard bleating the nauseating shite 'Mistletoe & Whine' without reaching for a very sharp wrist slitting implement - fuck it's bad.
The only meaningful verse-de-noel that reached my blackened satanic heart was courtesy of Mr Sharp-Fang McGowan:
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last
Ah, now that's pooetry!