Quote:
Choobus wrote
I wonder why they didn't have a priest.....
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..yup a priest handing out communion crackers in the shape of Penis-Christ..that'd be more a pro pos..
Many do not realize the connections between Caesar & Jesus. Caesar the God, went to the Kingdom of Bhythinia ruled by the handsome young king Nicomedes on triremes. His expedition was caught in a storm. God Caesar was asleep and his companions -- the idea of apostles companions originated from God Alexander the Great homosexual "companions" who were also his advisors and were always at his side, they would become an elite fighting force in decades ahead-- awaken him worrying about the storm, Caesar said to them not to worry going back to napping. The romans were extremely superstitious & religious. Gods were everywere acting on their lives. I would imagine this scenario:
The superstitious companions were frightened of the God of the Sea so they awoke God Caesar, since Caesar was a GOD, they expected him to do something about the storm. I am CERTAIN Caesar woke up, said something like "BE QUIET" to the waves, using the costumary two finger gesture, going back to sleep!!. The storm subsided then this was viewed as a miracle. The story would be told & told with the costumary exagerations and add ons, this we see in the Gospel tales. While there is NO evidence to back them up, there are writings by historians of the time that back God Caesar's deeds.
This incident inserted in the Life of Jesus the miracle worker. Nicomedes of Bhythinia would become Nicodemus of Bethany! Caesar Gallic victories where he ENROLED the Gauls, Chatti, Helevetti to fight for him ( Fishing for soldiers ) FORGIVING their sins for fighting AGAINST Him, a GOD, Pontifex Maximus which he was. God Caesar also made many of the Gallic chieftmen SENATORS of Rome. So, these amazing actions were viewed as miracles & would mutate into the "sea of Gallilee where Jesus was "fishing for fish/men". Since Allegories, personifications, latin double entendre, & the intervention of gods where a WAY OF LIFE in the Roman empire, it is of no surprise God Caesar would mutate 450 years years after his birth ( 100 bce) into the Jesus Christos of today.
BTW today ( some believe the 13th) is God Caesar's Birthday!! Right on this MONTH who honors the God. Happy Birthday God Divus Iulius Christos.
God Caesar made sacrifices daily. He held a patera where DRUGS ( perhaps peganum harmala flowers or opium) where given to the commanders. Mulsom, wine sweetened with honey & watered down, was the customary drink. It was also involved in rituals. I do not believe for an instant a Roman would take a shit without PRAYING asking the gods for happy evacuation of uncleaned spirits. EVERYTHING in Rome involved prayers to MANY gods, which gave the empire incredible TOLERANCE.
The Catholic church would adopt EVERYTHING from the Roman empire including its religion of beliefs in many gods, but at its center stands Caesar/Jesus, the other gods & goddesses having mutated into the many SAINTS. Interestingly enough JEsus, his mother and the saints have MANY manifestations adopting the name where they reveal themselves.
Our lady of the Cheescake? Our Savior of the Fridge Frost? Our Lady of Pizza?
So, Jesus in a cracker is not unusual, but the retards ought to make the crackers in the shape of a flying penis. Wings representing the holy spirit.
The magic words that would charge the cracker with the spirit of the Lord penis Christ would be:
Pene-cristus Noster
qui es in caelis,
sanctificetur nomen tuum.
Adveniat Specu regnum tuum.
Fiat voluntas tua,
sicut in caelo et in cavernam.
Sacra Lactis nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis castus nostra,
sicut et nos
dimittimus casta nostris.
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem:
sed libera nos a castis mala.
Then the priest should say: Kneel, clasp & Open wide while receive the Libidinal Appeasement Lord Prince of Piece of Peace, Divus Iulius Christo. In nomine Pene-Christo Atun-ra.
