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Old 02-19-2014, 01:22 PM   #1
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The future of religion?

Dateline: 19 Feb 2057.

Today, in a surprise move, Roman Catholic inc. made a formal bid for C of E PLC. The CEO of RC inc. and mother of two, Kylie Jones (Pope Kylie I to her friends and enemies alike), said in a statement this morning that: ‘...There is a great deal of synergy between the two enterprises. For the time being, the two brands will co-exist but, ultimately, a rationalisation will take place and cost reductions secured and realised. This, obviously, will be of benefit to shareholders.

Ms Jones, in a recent interview for People Magazine, said that RC Inc., in the past, had faced some challenging times, especially those of the 2040s following the abdication of the then Pope, Alexander IX, who preferred to abdicate rather than to admit that God did not exists, even in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence. The abdication left a power vacuum that almost left the once great Church in ruins.

Ms Jones went on to say that her predecessor had done an excellent job in stabilising what was left of the Roman Catholic Church. It was largely due to his efforts that it was able to survive and provide the service that it does today.

Commenting on the merger between RC Inc. and C of E PLC, Ms Jones stated that although the two brands would continue to co-exists because, essentially, they provide their customers with different religious experiences, some rationalisation was possible.

On the future of the merged enterprises, Ms Jones stated that they would both continue to provided ‘Religious Experience’ holidays and short breaks of the quality that the customers of the two enterprises had come to expect.

On the question of further mergers and acquisitions, Ms Jones stated that this could not be ruled out at this stage.

The stock market saw the merger as a positive step and RC Inc. shares rose $0.25 on the news.

The middle man of last resort.
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