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Old 11-27-2009, 01:00 PM   #1
ghoulslime
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Raving Atheists Christmas Thread 2009



It's that special time of the year again when the pseudo-cannibalism cults of blood-drinking, Sun-worshipping, zombie gods will begin their traditional festivities for Winter Solstice. This is the time of year when many mythologies of many religions of ancient times are merged into one, melded into shining lights and ribbons bright, made incarnate once more in the larger-than-life person whom so many regard with love and worship, pulled from the divine crotch of the holy Vagina Mary on one fateful, fictional night, bringer of light, love, and joy, Santa Claus! Oh, come let us adore him!

It's Christmas time once more! (Oops! Did I say, Christmas? Please keep the Christ out of Xmas!)

Xmas is here, and I am very happy to experience it once more!



Next to Halloween, it is the best holiday of the year. It's a magical time filled with wonderful sensory treats, with joy and cheer, and toys...lot's of toys! It is a time when everybody briefly stops being selfish and belligerent assholes, and for a short time, a brief period of make believe, the world seems like it has a chance that the semi-hairless apes in charge will eventually work out a lasting peaceful social arrangement. So if you don't like it, you can just suck a big nutty chunk of fruit cake from my ass.



In the past, we have had diverse threads about Xmas on Raving Atheists. For the most part, they have all seemed to die out quickly, with only passing interest from a few generous souls. It's as if atheists didn't believe in angels and such. I made a brief search for Raving Atheists Xmas past threads and found a few of them:


Merry Xmas Picture Thread 2008

Ghoulslime's Letters from Santa Thread 2005-2008

Should I teach my kids to believe in Santa Thread


I have recently received divine revelation from the leprechauns. They have instructed me that THIS is Their only begotten Raving Atheists Xmas thread for this year. All others are NOT pleasing unto Their eyes.

I pray to the leprechauns that we can make this thread a joyous thread, a thread devoted to wars on Xmas, interesting details about the true origins of Xmas, favorite Xmas songs, uplifting Xmas stories, photos of your Xmas tree, stupid shit your relatives do for Xmas, stories of your Xmases past, dirty pictures of Santa, pictures making fun of Mithra's little brother Jesus, etc.

Your letters to Santa might also be answered if you post them here.



The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-27-2009, 01:11 PM   #2
Eva
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sad xmas this year for us! (if the airline angels don't help us!)
plane tickets to bring my dear sis in law from portland are astonishingly outrageously high. one of the time frames we searched on had them at 2,800 coconuts round trip. for one person.

american airlines can suck my big fat hairy salma hajek-like ass from here on.

and we were planning to roast a whole pig...and we adore our little niece...and trevor is crazy about her too!

One of the most irrational of all the conventions of modern society is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected....That they should have this immunity is an outrage. There is nothing in religious ideas, as a class, to lift them above other ideas. On the contrary, they are always dubious and often quite silly.
H. L. Mencken
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Old 11-27-2009, 01:56 PM   #3
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sad xmas this year for us! (if the airline angels don't help us!)
plane tickets to bring my dear sis in law from portland are astonishingly outrageously high. one of the time frames we searched on had them at 2,800 coconuts round trip. for one person.

american airlines can suck my big fat hairy salma hajek-like ass from here on.

and we were planning to roast a whole pig...and we adore our little niece...and trevor is crazy about her too!


The airlines seem to have the process of gouging people during holiday season down to an art.

I purchased my airline tickets for Christmas back in August. By leaving a week before Xmas and not returning until two weeks after New Year, I will be avoiding the traditional price fixing.

I will leave for Thailand on the 19th of December, and return on the 13th of January. I got a shitty ticket from China Airlines that has a 14 hour layover in Taipei. (So I booked a hotel room, and have some of my Taiwanese friends who will come and hang with me.) A standard ticket on any other carrier, just a few days closer to Xmas would have added a solid 2000 Xmas ornaments to the price! Sweet Jesus penis! If that ain't the spirit of Christmas there!

Anyway, I would like to hear more about this ass of yours.

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-27-2009, 02:07 PM   #4
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When I think back at my Christmases past, it is difficult to remember one that was without a certain degree of anxiety wrought by some circumstance beyond my control. I suppose this is the stuff that mortal existence is made of. The times in my life when I lived only for the joy of the moment, without rancor or consternation over things that be or will be, were the times when I was happiest in life. So too were the Christmases past in which I completely absorbed myself in the magic and wonderment!

When I was a young man, recently discharged from the military, I returned "home" with my wife and three-year-old daughter to Idaho, in order to spend Christmas at the home of my Mormon parents. Notwithstanding the minor inconvenience of not truly being welcomed by these Mormon cult members, it was a very pleasant Christmas and a very pleasant memory for me.

On Christmas Eve, I bundled my daughter up in her snowman clothes, and put her on a traditional German sled that I had brought back from the Black Forest. The ground had a beautiful blanket of snow on it, that muffled the sound of everything. Huge snow flakes were drifting softy down upon us. I crunched along in the snow, pulling my daughter on her sled. The twilight of colorful Christmas lights from neighboring houses gave the snow a magical luster. We could see the Christmas trees blinking from windows, and hear the soft refrains of carols sung inside of warm houses.

I pulled the sled out into the middle of a wide field of snow, until the houses and the Christmas they contained was far behind, and only the hushed white world of Winter was around. I lay down on my back in the snow, and my daughter got off of her sled, and lay next to me. We lay, staring up at the infinite sky, watching the delicate snowflakes, impossibly large, drifting down from heaven to touch our faces as the final moments of their fleeting existence. That was as much of happiness as I could ever wish for.

That's one of my happiest memories of Christmas.


The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-28-2009, 11:32 AM   #5
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Jingle Jingle Jingle

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-28-2009, 11:34 AM   #6
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Heat & Cold Miser

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-28-2009, 11:48 AM   #7
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Holly Jolly Xmas

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-28-2009, 07:11 PM   #8
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I ADORE xmas - seriously - it's my favorite time of the whole damned year

I'm currently waiting for it to hit December 1st, so I can start wearing my collection of tacky xmas earrings to work, and my xmas broaches, and my xmas alice-band, and my xmas hair ties!

And, tomorrow (sunday 29th) we'll be getting out the decorations, so I can decorate! And I'll also be sitting down to start making pressies AND I've already started on my card list (I so far have about forty cards to send! I just LOVE sending cards out!) and I've already bought the first two presents of the season!

OH! And today, 'Diva and I played in town during the Lantern Parade, for the town's lights being turned on! We got rained on and froze, but BAH, it was fun and xmassy!*) I might post pics - though we forgot to wear our xmas/santa hats...

ANYWAY - I'm sure you can tell I'm looking forward to it


* For those who don't know, we play in a community band

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Old 11-29-2009, 03:04 AM   #9
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Christmas.... I love it... the wifes fault I blame her.
Loves the season but it isn't just about religion is it?
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Old 11-29-2009, 05:45 AM   #10
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Christmas.... I love it... the wifes fault I blame her.
Loves the season but it isn't just about religion is it?
Almost nothing about it is really religious. Early mankind, especially in Northern latitudes, was in pretty dire shape during the long winter as the Sun became weaker and weaker. They couldn't be sure that the Sun wouldn't just wink out and they would all die, that is, until the Sun started getting warmer, at the Solstice. What better excuse for a celebration than that we would not all die in the cold and dark?

Various goofy ways of religious "thinking" attached themselves to the celebration and hijacked the "rebirth" concept.

So I celebrate a completely secular block of time because it is fun and because it is good to be reminded from time to time that I am still alive and still have a capacity to appreciate fun things..

"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:35 AM   #11
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"I ADORE xmas - seriously - it's my favorite time of the whole damned year "

oh bloody hell- every damn year since she could sit up!!! I now have to put up with her crappy xmas cd for the next three months ! and she is sitting in the dining room 'making stuff' for xmas and is jingling I tell you! JINGLING!!

I guess it could actually be my fault? *sigh*

'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." Fry
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:43 AM   #12
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I absolutely detest the whole hyped-up farcical spend-fest of shite that the whole thing has become. Bah-fucking big-time humbug I say.

Th fucking mu-sick starts in August and gets on my tits till January. Shite-arsed decorations and crappy lights get left up all year - wasting power.

I don't send cards or buy presents and make every effort to get away and not have to suffer the tedious overindulgence that the stupid 25th has become. The whole christymass-crap can suck my ballsack - I fucking hate it. Bollocks.

Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:45 AM   #13
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Don't hold back now Smelly

'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." Fry
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:46 AM   #14
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I though that was quite mild!

Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:48 AM   #15
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lol yes I thought so

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