Raving Atheists Christmas 2017

[ghoulslime]

Christmas time is upon us once more. Christmas is a time for reflection on the miracle which is our own existence. It is a time for introspection, a frosted window of opportunity to peer into the twinkling Christmas lights of our memories. We may find the warmth of nostalgia beside the firesides of our hearts, or we may discover a frozen winter there, and a need to kindle the Yule log of our passions once more. It is time for us to confront the ghosts of Christmas past.



Cast off those chains you have forged throughout the year! Rise up, you jolly elves! Lift up your voices with me, and let us sing the tidings of great joy! What Christmas glories we have witnessed! What tender Christmas memories brighten our winter eves!



Set sail we, across the seas of eternal darkness! Riding upon the waves of cosmic light! Lead onward, oh, Captain Santa! Hell may resist our Christmas cheer, but festooned will be the bodies of the Christmas casualties, with glorious LED bulbs from China. Ride, Captain, ride upon your Christmas Ship!



Avast, ye scurvy scalawags! One Reply to "Strike yer Christmas colors, ye bloomin' cockroachers!" Santa will have your lily liver on his candy cane before the Christmas mouse feeds on plum cake crumbs. Santa will shove presents up yer bums, until ye succumbs to the joy of the season. This is the reason for the season! Oh, come all ye faithful! Let's us discover the glory holes of Christmas together!

[ghoulslime]

So, has it really been three years since last we celebrated a Raving Atheist Christmas? Father Time has slipped a couple of sneaky ones in the back door, right down the chimney, without us feeling Christmas go in or come out!

The Ghosts of Christmas Past




Raving Atheists Christmas Thread 2014

Raving Atheists Christmas Thread 2012

Raving Atheists Christmas Thread 2011

Raving Atheists Christmas Thread 2010

Raving Atheists Christmas Thread 2009

Merry Xmas Picture Thread 2008

Ghoulslime's Letters from Santa Thread 2005-2008

Should I teach my kids to believe in Santa Thread

[ghoulslime]

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, at our house. The other night, Sweetie Pie and Sugarcane came into the food giant's house, and watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.



It’s a very nice Christmas movie, about a flying reindeer that has a red nose. I am not sure if it is a true story. I'm pretty sure the Bible says something about it.



It has a scary monster, that becomes a nice Christmas monster later. Bumble reminds me a lot of the god of the Old Testament who becomes a nice god, later, in the New Testament. I wonder if Bumble could really be God.



It has a happy ending, because Rudolph gets to help Santa deliver presents for Christmas. Have a holly, jolly Christmas!



Then Sugarcane and Sweetie Pie were nestled back in their beds, in their happy bunny house, with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. Good night, bunnies! Merry Christmas!

[ghoulslime]

[Smellyoldgit]

Fuck Christmas & the crock of shit it rode in on!

[Smellyoldgit]

Christmas can kiss my fucking hairy ballsack. I have no interest to partake in the annual fucked up festival of greed, hypocricy, overspending and general bad taste. The legions of already fat fuckers will go about cramming their bloated pie-holes with the regulation grease, junk, booze & stodgy sweet shite.

A fortune will be spent on boatloads of chinese-made crap that nobody wants - Hallmark will shift shitloads of fucking retarded cards that never see a recycling bin, and why the fuck anybody wants to stuff a tree in the house & cover it in balls is beyond me. Thankfully, I don't own a tele so it's easy to avoid the flood of seasonal shite, repeats, Jesusy wank and the fucking queen's bullshit speech. And don't start me on the fucking months of torture that masquerades as music!

The whole fuck-fest is nothing more than a huge con, aimed at getting the gormless fuckheads of the population to spend spend and spend again till the next commercial shit wagon comes around. I fucking hate it and can't wait for some semblance of normality to return. Bollocks to it all!

[Smellyoldgit]

[dogpet]

What idiot decided the end of December was a good time to be forced to use up some of our precious holiday allowance? We could have a wonderful christmas break in June or July instead, & people wouldn't have to waste so much electricity on decorations either. The Australians have the right idea. Xmas according to season is the call!

Roll on easter .

[Smellyoldgit]

dogpet wrote

Roll on easter .

I prefer Valentine's Day - at least there's the increased possibility of a shag ....

[ghoulslime]

Smellyoldgit wrote

Christmas can kiss my fucking hairy ballsack. I have no interest to partake in the annual fucked up festival of greed, hypocricy, overspending and general bad taste. The legions of already fat fuckers will go about cramming their bloated pie-holes with the regulation grease, junk, booze & stodgy sweet shite.

A fortune will be spent on boatloads of chinese-made crap that nobody wants - Hallmark will shift shitloads of fucking retarded cards that never see a recycling bin, and why the fuck anybody wants to stuff a tree in the house & cover it in balls is beyond me. Thankfully, I don't own a tele so it's easy to avoid the flood of seasonal shite, repeats, Jesusy wank and the fucking queen's bullshit speech. And don't start me on the fucking months of torture that masquerades as music!

The whole fuck-fest is nothing more than a huge con, aimed at getting the gormless fuckheads of the population to spend spend and spend again till the next commercial shit wagon comes around. I fucking hate it and can't wait for some semblance of normality to return. Bollocks to it all!

Well, now! It looks like somebody needs to put Mr. Hanky in his mouth, and try to say, "Ho, ho, ho and yum, yum, yum! Christmas time has come!"



Put something sweet in your mouth. Hang up some shiny shit! Get up off your grinchy ass, and fucking celebrate!

[ghoulslime]

Smellyoldgit wrote

I prefer Valentine's Day - at least there's the increased possibility of a shag ....

You've obviously been sitting on the laps of the wrong Santas.

[ghoulslime]

dogpet wrote

What idiot decided the end of December was a good time to be forced to use up some of our precious holiday allowance? We could have a wonderful christmas break in June or July instead, & people wouldn't have to waste so much electricity on decorations either. The Australians have the right idea. Xmas according to season is the call!

Roll on easter .

In winter, it gets dark in the north, really fucking dark. In the morning, it is dark. In the evening, it is ding dong merrily on high, really goddamn dark. Always fucking dark!

Hanging up shiny stuff, and telling everybody that they are full of joy, and that it is the most wonderful time of the year, was a really clever idea.

It beats sitting here, drinking whiskey in the dark, until we all hang ourselves from the pine trees.

The Merriest of Christmases to you!

[ghoulslime]

“And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!”

― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

[dogpet]

ghoulslime wrote

Hanging up shiny stuff, and telling everybody that they are full of joy, and that it is the most wonderful time of the year, was a really clever idea.

The annual guilt trip is worth enforcing I suppose, even just as a reminder of what your family's like. Yes we love you!

The Merriest of Christmases to you!

All the best to you & your rabbits ghoul, hope they get plenty of cud to chew.

[dogpet]

In many cases it is an enforced holiday. Where are all the no religious interference crowd?