Jesus Vs. Santa

Jesus Versus Santa


As far as God goes, I do not hold belief in God for the same reasons I do not hold belief in Santa Claus. (1) They BOTH live far, far away. (2) Your parents told you about BOTH. (3) If you do what they say, you either get presents or heaven. (4) If you don't do what they say, you either get no presents or hell. (5) They BOTH have never been sensed. (6) They BOTH are non-demonstatable. (7) They BOTH have magical powers. (8) The same faith a child has in Santa Claus is the same faith a person has in God.

Santa does not send you to hell. Jesus just sucks.

[antix]

Santa is a way cooler myth that Jesus could ever dream to be. Here's some more comparisons.

- Santa has raindeer who can fly across the sky. (Wow, cool)
- Jesus walked on water (big wupdee-do.)

- Santa can physically visit every single house on the planet in 1 night. (holy-shit. that's amazing)
- Jesus can fill you up spiritually (no thanks. I'm not interested in anything any dude wants to "fill me up with")

- Santa brings presents to all the good little boys and girls (yaaaay)
- Jesus lets you engage in cannibalism by eating his flesh in the form of a cracker (blech)

- Santa simply gives you no presents if you behave badly (alright, I guess that's fair)
- Jesus sends you to Hell if you don't worship him (sounds like a self-righteous sadistic deauche-bag to me)

No matter how you break it down, Jesus just plain sucks

there is actually more evidence for santa existing than jesus.

1.Santa doesn't posess self contradictory powers as does the all knowing all powerful christian god.
2.As a child when you asked for extremely specific material presents from santa they usually came, when you ask for them from jesus they never do.
3.Santa still does miracles by bringing so many gifts. jesus quit 2000 years ago.
4.Santa is truly immortal in the material world, where jesus only has some abstract spiritual immortality...santa wins!
5.I've seen santa in the flesh, many times at many malls, this not only proves he exists but proves he has powers of producing multiple networked bodily projections of himself, a power jesus/god has never exhibited.

Furthermore hes much nicer than jesus.:
6.Santa has never sinned, just like jesus!
7.Santa loves all the little children, even the bad ones, if your bad at least you get another chance next year...you don't get that chance with hell!

[Sternwallow]

Fuck rice ache! Who ate the cookies and drank all that milk you set out for Santa? Talk about proof!