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Old 02-09-2011, 03:56 AM   #1
ILOVEJESUS
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Galactic star shitting penguins!!!

I am now a convert to the belief in a star shitting penguin that has indeed started the whole concept of existance off. Just before I commit all my life savings to NKB so that he can use it to please this penguin I was wondering if anyone can come up with any better alternative creation belief systems. Perhaps we could take them to the theist forums and allow the Theists to see how fucking irritating baseless bollocks really is.
Just what the world needs right now. More things to believe in without eveidence that are to be DEVOUTLY followed! HAIL PINGU!
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Old 02-09-2011, 04:03 AM   #2
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Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 02-09-2011, 04:27 AM   #3
Qlidnaque
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I challenge you with my firm belief in the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

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Old 02-09-2011, 05:03 AM   #4
Smellyoldgit
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The original is hard to beat:


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Old 02-09-2011, 06:25 AM   #5
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ILOVEJESUS wrote View Post
I am now a convert to the belief in a star shitting penguin that has indeed started the whole concept of existance off. Just before I commit all my life savings to NKB so that he can use it to please this penguin I was wondering if anyone can come up with any better alternative creation belief systems. Perhaps we could take them to the theist forums and allow the Theists to see how fucking irritating baseless bollocks really is.
Just what the world needs right now. More things to believe in without eveidence that are to be DEVOUTLY followed! HAIL PINGU!
We don't need a new "alternative" to "first cause" for the creator, there have been many in the past, like Quetzlcoatl and Cal's ancient Egyptian sperm gods. They have the immediate advantage that they were once worshipped by many people and so they were somehow "plausible" and therefore each one was a valid "alternative".

On a deeper level, "nothing" has been shown (in the other thread) to be a valid explanation for what caused the beginning, it is a better explanation than "completely undefined First Cause" because FC is denied the defining attribute of existence.

While it is true that some things currently undefined do exist, any particular undefined thing, like FC, does not because existence is a defining attribute and carries many other defining attributes with it.

"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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Old 02-09-2011, 08:57 AM   #6
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Qlidnaque wrote
I challenge you with my firm belief in the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!



atheist (n): one who remains unconvinced.
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Old 02-09-2011, 09:03 AM   #7
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It's difficult to decide which of the great creation myths is the most retarded.

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Old 02-09-2011, 11:33 AM   #8
ILOVEJESUS
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I am surprised that we have not had a challenge from the leprechauns. Those heathens had better get used to the penguin star shitters or an icey war on terror will begin.
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Old 02-09-2011, 12:29 PM   #9
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Please keep in mind that these are unknowable star-shitting penguins! It's an important point, apparently.

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
George Bernard Shaw
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Old 02-09-2011, 12:48 PM   #10
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nkb wrote View Post
Please keep in mind that these are unknowable star-shitting penguins! It's an important point, apparently.
...If They Laid an Egg...It'd Roll Down the Behind the Universe...
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Old 02-09-2011, 01:51 PM   #11
ILOVEJESUS
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Please keep in mind that these are unknowable star-shitting penguins! It's an important point, apparently.
I may not know them, but Ill fight to the death over my belief in them!
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Old 02-09-2011, 04:04 PM   #12
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It's difficult to decide which of the great creation myths is the most retarded.
It is also sad that, in their time, all, even the most retarded ones were hailed as the greatest things that ever happened to mankind.

"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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Old 02-09-2011, 04:08 PM   #13
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Indeed. I look forward to the day when the Star Shitting Penguin (MBNQ) is rated alongside sliced bread.

Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 02-09-2011, 04:14 PM   #14
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ILOVEJESUS wrote View Post
I may not know them, but Ill fight to the death over my belief in them!
Because everything that is real proves its own existence, I claim that there is nothing real that is unknowable in principle.

This leaves the many things which, though real, will never actually be known. It also implies that things that cannot be known cannot exist as real things. Among the things that cannot be known are things which are undefined and which therefore have no real existence.

The scope of that realization quite takes one's breath away (until the next inhale, anyway).

"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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Old 02-09-2011, 04:18 PM   #15
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Indeed. I look forward to the day when the Star Shitting Penguin (MBNQ) is rated alongside sliced bread.


I trust that your (MBNQ) is different from my (MNQB) since I see no reason for condemnation toward the SSP.

"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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