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Old 09-12-2015, 03:11 PM   #1
dogpet
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Chant & be Happy

Got given some sweeties by a Hari Krishna, is this the most inoffensive religion?

If you absolutely had to join a religion, which would it be if martyrdom was not an option?

thank goodness he's on our side
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Old 09-12-2015, 03:33 PM   #2
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Which one involves the most beer & shagging?

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Old 09-12-2015, 03:41 PM   #3
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Smellyoldgit wrote View Post
Which one involves the most beer & shagging?
Talking about it or doing it? 10-9-8-7-

thank goodness he's on our side
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Old 09-12-2015, 05:36 PM   #4
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Both.

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Old 09-13-2015, 11:41 AM   #5
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Quote:
dogpet wrote View Post
Got given some sweeties by a Hari Krishna, is this the most inoffensive religion?

If you absolutely had to join a religion, which would it be if martyrdom was not an option?
Could I start my own instead of joining one?

If so, I would base it around the healing powers of my jism.
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Old 09-13-2015, 12:47 PM   #6
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Hobotronic2037 wrote View Post
Could I start my own instead of joining one?

If so, I would base it around the healing powers of my jism.
This thread is going well.

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Old 09-13-2015, 05:43 PM   #7
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Those guys have the chant wrong. Back when Krishna was boinking the wife, at the beginning of the religion, she would encourage him to orgasm by repeating "Hurry, Krishna, hurry, hurry Krishna," repeatedly. They had a large family, and she didn't want to get caught in such a compromising position.
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Old 09-14-2015, 01:30 AM   #8
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What are we defining as religion?
I think I would probably be a Discordian. I came across it when I was first starting to look into religion and it reminds me of a much older version of the FSM.
Or a Jedi. Turns out it's actually a thing, not just something people put on the census to be funny.

Michael...you are correct
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Old 09-14-2015, 04:05 AM   #9
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All of em. It's sometimes embarrassing getting caught short without a ready made God to hand....
Like if you gets up in the morning all pissed off and grumpy like..... pick the religion with the most smitey god... go round all day being smitey and a complete twat - because god.

Fed up using the same old facecloth to clean the smegma out every morning.... no problem... get a foreskin-be-gone god...and have a nice shiney knob - because god.

Suffer from unsightly embarrassing random racism, bigotry, homophobic, mysogynistic, by-lateral fuckwittery......no worries ! use any one of the patent pending, government endorsed, freely marketed, tax avoiding, spirit sucking, duplicitous cunts conveniently situated in every fucking corner of the globe to vent your spleen without any guilt whatsoever......or your money back.

Yep, cos like Pascal sez..... join em all dude just in case........ because god.

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Old 09-14-2015, 09:07 AM   #10
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Hey, you ol' scrote - what happened to 'gusset sniffer'?
...... no Sol rant goes to press without a quality 'gusset sniffer'

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Old 09-14-2015, 12:57 PM   #11
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My big... I thought "gusset sniffing crotch pheasant" would be implicit.

I see age has not wearied thee nor the years condemned you to a sad state of purgatorial bladder weakening polite indifference, me ol' Munro bagging fudge packer.....

Professor Plum - In the Dinning Room - with the Lead Pipe...
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Old 09-14-2015, 04:06 PM   #12
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Ahh, fudge packing - I must make the effort to get stuck up the 47 mounds still to be breached. Perhaps I should hit the drambuie after I've done the mounting! Do I need a visa yet?

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Old 09-14-2015, 10:43 PM   #13
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Well if you're into fudge packing, the Catlicker faith would be best, given the priestly prediliction for native/choir/orphan boyz.
If you're inclined to the straight and narrow path, you can't beat Guruism, introducing initiates into the mysticisms of the holy orgasm, rewarded with the joy of owning 100 Rolls Royces.


Use foolproof airtight logic on a mind that's closed and you're dead. - William J. Reilly, Opening Closed Minds
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Old 09-15-2015, 03:28 AM   #14
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Smog - Never take Drambuie after........ before and during then immediately before doing it again, or straight after doing it before you've started. That's the engerlish way.....

No visa needed, just claim political asylum or claim to be very butt hurt after the Corbyn incident.....

Professor Plum - In the Dinning Room - with the Lead Pipe...
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Old 07-09-2016, 04:53 PM   #15
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The clap-happy crowd are just sad.
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