Apropos of nothing

Choobus · 06-19-2010, 09:33 PM

This thread is basically the same as the "posts that don't deserve threads" thread, except this is for even more random shit.

To begin, I should like to point out that saying such things as "on a scale of one to ten, Choobus' awesomeness is about a twelve" is fucking retarded. If the scale is one to fucking ten then ten is the highest you cunt. Similarly, saying such things as "don't worry coach, I'm gonna give it 110%) is (you guessed it) fucking retarded. How can you give more than you have? The implication is that more effort than is usually the case will be applied, but this merely points out that previously, less than the maximum possible effort was given; this is not something to be proud of.

That shit annoys the fuck out of me.

ghoulslime · 06-20-2010, 01:17 AM

If the scale is one to fucking ten then ten is the highest you cunt, unless of course you go back and fuck a couple of cunts one more time for good measure. But all in all, ten on one is enough to make your wiener bleed out the eye. 69 is my favorite number when in the right position. It was not always. Initially there was apprehension as to whether I could measure up to the standard. It came to me as an epiphany most astounding yet blissful to learn that 69 does not involve 1/2 or 2/3 of 12 inches. It seemed all backwards at first, and then it all just fit together like that! There are more alarming numeric revelations for sure. Hey, baby! I've got 12 just for you. Hey, baby! So do I!

Note: One would think a hand could be sexually fulfilled after a lifetime of wanton debauchery, but what if it continues to reach for the release it can never find? One IS the loneliest number, when there is no one to grip your nuts during blastoff. Well, this thread is off to a great start, don't you think?

Philboid Studge · 06-20-2010, 04:47 AM

I can understand how mathematical impossibilities would steam a physicist's onions, and I agree that claiming one scored 110% on a scale of one to ten or some shit is retarded. However, such ejaculations aren't completely void of meaning -- they are meant to invoke something exceptional. Thus we measure awesomeness on a scale of one to ten, except when teh awesome is from another planet or dimension, something the scale wasn't ready for.

These hyperbolic-isms bother me more because they are overused cliches. What lances my boils is when the speaker goes full retard on a phrase by saying something is "literally a 12 on a scale of 1-to-10." Then there's no defense. Sadly, we see that word-monkeys continually up the ante, by labeling some logical impossibility as "quite literally this or that." Where will it end?

Professor Chaos · 06-20-2010, 06:17 AM

I prefer to avoid numbers on my scales. I'll generally go with something like, "On a scale of Susan Boyle to Megan Fox, she was a Jessica Alba."

Or, "On a scale of ricardocoav to Philboid Studge, Choobus is a Philboid Studge, whereas Lily is a Francis."

Philboid Studge · 06-20-2010, 08:13 AM

I think it can be said of Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, and Sammy Sosa that they gave 110% ...

ghoulslime · 06-20-2010, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Philboid Studge wrote

I can understand how mathematical impossibilities would steam a physicist's onions, and I agree that claiming one scored 110% on a scale of one to ten or some shit is retarded. However, such ejaculations aren't completely void of meaning -- they are meant to invoke something exceptional. Thus we measure awesomeness on a scale of one to ten, except when teh awesome is from another planet or dimension, something the scale wasn't ready for.

These hyperbolic-isms bother me more because they are overused cliches. What lances my boils is when the speaker goes full retard on a phrase by saying something is "literally a 12 on a scale of 1-to-10." Then there's no defense. Sadly, we see that word-monkeys continually up the ante, by labeling some logical impossibility as "quite literally this or that." Where will it end?

It's very possible that as an atheist and a physicist, perhaps he is dead to the spiritual realm, and deals only with empirical values in the physical world. Numbers that exist outside of space and time can have any values that they want to, just like God. He needs to pray about it, and have faith.

dogpet · 06-20-2010, 02:03 PM

If someone dies giving 110%, is the chance of 10% surviving less than zero?

Philboid Studge · 06-24-2010, 01:56 PM

What happens at an NFL training camp ? Let's ask Tampa Bay Buccaneer skipper coach Raheem Morris !

Quote:

"You take off your underwear, you put on your big boy pads and you put your face on people."

Sternwallow · 06-24-2010, 04:10 PM

I am toying with the idea of becoming an Omnist, similar to an omni-theist, a believer that all religions (and none) are equally true and are all entitled to equal respect (none).

This is a very short route to an answer for each and every one of the famous deep questions about spirits, supernatural, superstitions, deities, devils, dybbuks and dreams, about worship, veneration and reverence, prayer, meditation and trance, creation and destruction.

This philosophy replaces the question-begging answer of "my goddidit" with "some god might have done it or maybe not".

"Is there an afterlife?" There is a non-zero probability that there is, so small that I wouldn't risk/bother believing in it.

"You say Jesus is his own father who cannot save him even from himself?" No problem; my unassailable faith tells me that he doesn't exist anyway.

See how beautifully everything fits together?

Any takers? Anyone want to join me in this boldness-free epic voyage of negligible discovery? Remember, you can't get to a vaguely possible Heaven if you don't believe in the same way that I don't.

ghoulslime · 06-24-2010, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Sternwallow wrote

I am toying with the idea of becoming an Omnist, similar to an omni-theist, a believer that all religions (and none) are equally true and are all entitled to equal respect (none).

This is a very short route to an answer for each and every one of the famous deep questions about spirits, supernatural, superstitions, deities, devils, dybbuks and dreams, about worship, veneration and reverence, prayer, meditation and trance, creation and destruction.

This philosophy replaces the question-begging answer of "my goddidit" with "some god might have done it or maybe not".

"Is there an afterlife?" There is a non-zero probability that there is, so small that I wouldn't risk/bother believing in it.

"You say Jesus is his own father who cannot save him even from himself?" No problem; my unassailable faith tells me that he doesn't exist anyway.

See how beautifully everything fits together?

Any takers? Anyone want to join me in this boldness-free epic voyage of negligible discovery? Remember, you can't get to a vaguely possible Heaven if you don't believe in the same way that I don't.

Will we get special hats? I'm in if we get special hats.

Sternwallow · 06-24-2010, 04:26 PM

Some Omnists wear a kind of skullcap made from their own hair; some are not fortunate in that department.

ghoulslime · 06-24-2010, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Sternwallow wrote

Some Omnists wear a kind of skullcap made from their own hair; some are not fortunate in that department.

When you say their "own hair", I presume it means head hair? If I were a member of the Asshairhat Denomination, I would still be privy to all of the rights of Omnism, right? Including all pseudo-cannibalism and altar boy privileges?

Choobus · 06-24-2010, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Sternwallow wrote

"Is there an afterlife?" There is a non-zero probability that there is, so small that I wouldn't risk/bother believing in it.

How do you know it's non-zero?

Sternwallow · 06-25-2010, 05:13 AM

Quote:

ghoulslime wrote

When you say their "own hair", I presume it means head hair? If I were a member of the Asshairhat Denomination, I would still be privy to all of the rights of Omnism, right? Including all pseudo-cannibalism and altar boy privileges?

I did mean head-hair, as a matter of traditional Omnistic protocol, but a personal preference for ass-hair is accepted in Omnism as a benign eccentricity.

Although taking advantage of altar-boys is deemed right and just and proper, since the rites of all religions and none are necessarily considered true and altar-boy diddling is a central tenet of the Roman Catholic church, also right and just and proper, is the ritual of the Church of the Old School in which people who diddle altar-boys are themselves altered.

Sternwallow · 06-25-2010, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Choobus wrote

How do you know it's non-zero?

I do not know that the probability of the existence of an afterlife is non-zero. I assert it based on Ockham's Razor as being the most simple (minded) choice between an uncertain zero probability and an uncertain non-zero probability. Or, to put it in behavioral terms, it is the wussy choice.