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10-12-2005, 10:50 AM
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#31 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: prick up your ears
Posts: 20,553
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5) they hate all sex, and they know that after marriage there will be none
You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips. ~ Philiboid Studge |
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10-12-2005, 05:33 PM
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#32 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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4) because sex is a sin....now quit whinning and hand me some vasaline.
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10-12-2005, 06:28 PM
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#33 |
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Northeast
Posts: 1,711
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3) Because if the unmarried figure out sex is more fun than work they may not get a job and pay any tithing...
2) Because it's difficult enough to get asses in the pews... tell them there is someone waiting for them naked at home and there is even less of a chance of filling seats. To pray is to verbalize that which some may have difficulty saying aloud in everyday life, in an effort to gain support or smarts from an outside source. I have no need for prayer. I am able to rationalize within my mind, and have no problem speaking it. |
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10-12-2005, 08:21 PM
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#34 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 10,218
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And the Number 1 Reason the Catholic Church doesn't support sex before marriage:
1) It would take all the fun out of buggering the kids! "Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." - Justin's Dad |
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10-13-2005, 08:49 AM
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#35 | |
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Northeast
Posts: 1,711
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Quote:
To pray is to verbalize that which some may have difficulty saying aloud in everyday life, in an effort to gain support or smarts from an outside source. I have no need for prayer. I am able to rationalize within my mind, and have no problem speaking it. |
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10-13-2005, 09:33 AM
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#36 | ||
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I Live Here
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 10,218
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Quote:
"The Top Ten Reasons Jesus is building a civilization on Mars" 10) Heard that Noah was building another boat - doesn't want to hold his breath for forty days and nights again. "Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." - Justin's Dad |
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10-13-2005, 09:42 AM
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#37 |
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Organ Donator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Beastly Muck
Posts: 13,136
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9) There are no hammers or nails on Mars
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ La propriété, c'est le vol ... |
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10-13-2005, 11:29 AM
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#38 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: prick up your ears
Posts: 20,553
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8) It's the only way to avoid all the bloody Christians
You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips. ~ Philiboid Studge |
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10-13-2005, 01:28 PM
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#39 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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7) Can make kiddie rape legal on Utopia Planitia
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10-13-2005, 01:33 PM
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#40 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 10,218
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6) Looking forward to sending Parture, along with the tax collectors, telephone sanitizers, and hairdressers to the New Eden.
"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." - Justin's Dad |
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10-13-2005, 01:39 PM
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#41 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: prick up your ears
Posts: 20,553
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5) can define his perverted sex acts as "the martian way" to help gain general acceptance
You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips. ~ Philiboid Studge |
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10-13-2005, 03:33 PM
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#42 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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4) Because the Union Areospace Corporation (UAC) has opened the gates of Hell with their secret teleportation experiments between mars' moons of Phobos and Deimos. Demons are loose and Jesus has come to kick some ass.
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10-13-2005, 07:47 PM
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#43 |
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Northeast
Posts: 1,711
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3) He wants somewhere to vacation...
To pray is to verbalize that which some may have difficulty saying aloud in everyday life, in an effort to gain support or smarts from an outside source. I have no need for prayer. I am able to rationalize within my mind, and have no problem speaking it. |
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10-13-2005, 08:18 PM
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#44 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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2) because he recognises the supremacy of the IPU on earth and must rule elsewhere.
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10-14-2005, 04:07 AM
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#45 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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And the #1 Reason Jesus is building a civilization on Mars is......
#1): Martians aren't as freaked out that Jesus is a zombie than Earthlings are. NEW TOP TEN LIST: What do Katia and Carico do in their spare time? #10): Each other. |
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