04-06-2015, 05:39 AM
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#1
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,395
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Finally, my kind of Church!
Use foolproof airtight logic on a mind that's closed and you're dead. - William J. Reilly, Opening Closed Minds
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04-06-2015, 06:48 AM
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#2
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: One the armpits of the U.S. of A.
Posts: 2,856
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Do they let people sit on them?
Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.
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04-06-2015, 03:38 PM
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#3
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New Member!
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 8
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But what about the balls for those who like dancing?
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04-06-2015, 04:52 PM
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#4
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Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,614
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Oh dear - I feel a Penis-Christ joke throbbing on the horizon ....
Stop the Holy See men!
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04-06-2015, 08:33 PM
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#5
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Great Ocean Road
Posts: 2,917
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I had a check this morning, just to make sure there isn't a little man living on the underside of it.
Erm, actually quite a big little man in my case. 
Once you are dead, you are nothing. Graffito, Pompeii
Last edited by Kinich Ahau; 04-06-2015 at 08:52 PM.
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04-07-2015, 03:59 AM
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#6
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Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,614
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Get a grip man .... 
Stop the Holy See men!
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04-07-2015, 04:44 AM
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#7
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Our lord has arisen!
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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04-11-2015, 03:02 PM
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#8
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New Member!
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 13
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I went to the site and read the rules and requirements.
The pontifax and elders have a sweet deal going....
Any potential member must pass an interview, part of which is performing a sex act on one or more of the elders.
All congregants must be nude for all services, except the pontifax. (Cock rings are allowed)
Group sex is a requirement of all congregants.
All congregants must spend a minimum of 4 hours a week bringing themselves or others to orgasm...and the pontifax gets to observe whenever he wishes.
All congregants must be willing and able to get the pontifax off whenever and however he chooses.
As he progresses up through the levels of membership, a congregant increases the hourly requirements per week, and BONUS! At level 3, he becomes eligible to receive the Sacrament of the Most Holy Seed from the pontifax!
And of course, members are required to tithe...pay to play, boys!
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04-11-2015, 06:54 PM
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#9
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
reddhedd wrote
I went to the site and read the rules and requirements.
The pontifax and elders have a sweet deal going....
Any potential member must pass an interview, part of which is performing a sex act on one or more of the elders.
All congregants must be nude for all services, except the pontifax. (Cock rings are allowed)
Group sex is a requirement of all congregants.
All congregants must spend a minimum of 4 hours a week bringing themselves or others to orgasm...and the pontifax gets to observe whenever he wishes.
All congregants must be willing and able to get the pontifax off whenever and however he chooses.
As he progresses up through the levels of membership, a congregant increases the hourly requirements per week, and BONUS! At level 3, he becomes eligible to receive the Sacrament of the Most Holy Seed from the pontifax!
And of course, members are required to tithe...pay to play, boys!
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Need I ask? Are all of the church elders pudgy gay dudes? Unless the Pontifax is a Brazilian chick with an oiled ass, I am not sure my faith would be strong enough for this test. I think I will have to keep searching for the true religion.
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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04-12-2015, 03:35 AM
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#10
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,395
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
Need I ask? Are all of the church elders pudgy gay dudes? Unless the Pontifax is a Brazilian chick with an oiled ass, I am not sure my faith would be strong enough for this test. I think I will have to keep searching for the true religion.
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Combined with the Illinois Religious Freedom Act, this Church could make life interesting. e.g. Could the new law be used to force a bakery to make a penis shaped cake?

Use foolproof airtight logic on a mind that's closed and you're dead. - William J. Reilly, Opening Closed Minds
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04-14-2015, 03:57 PM
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#11
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New Member!
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 13
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His Holiness Pontifax David Francis Cassidy
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