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12-08-2014, 05:05 PM
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#46 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 We wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a letter from Drewl!  Dear Santa, I know that you are watching me, to see if I am bad or good. You see me when I am sleeping. You know when I am awake, so hear my prayers and read my Christmas letter, for goodness sake! I know that my redeemer lives. The Bible tells me so! I need your help during this holy season, to prove my god to those scientists and atheists and abortionists and abolitionists and so on. This Christmas, I am not asking for another Malibu Barbie makeup set or My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic DVD. I need help winning a big debate with the godless servants of Satan! Can you help me make my god seem bigger, so I can stuff Him into the gaps, without those people of reason trying to oppose Him? Could you help me think of some new fallacious arguments that the nasty atheists have never heard before? If I could trick them with a clever-enough argument, I could slip my god proof right in there before they even noticed! Also, please bring me a fluffy assclown doll with lovely fringe on the pant legs. These things I humbly pray for, in Jesus' holy name, Drew 2013 P.S. Please make people stop calling me "Drewl". I can't help it when the slobber runs down my chin when I am thinking hard. ******************************************************************** Dear Drew, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc, etc. First off, I don't see you when you are sleeping, eating, or mumbling magic words into the side of your blankets at night. Even if I could see you when you are sleeping, why the fuck would I want to watch you stain the front of your Justin Bieber jammies with nocturnal emissions? Get a grip on something other than your undersized manhood, son! The only gap that you need to have filled is the gap between your ears...well...and perhaps the gap in the crack of your stupid ass. I can't help you with the gap between your ears, but I'll bring you a Virgin Mary dildo for the crack of your ass, so that you can go fuck yourself. Seasons greetings, you throbbing wanker! ~ Santa P.S. It makes me hard, thinking about my Christmas eggnog running down your chin, Drewl. ********************************************************************  The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-09-2014, 08:24 AM
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#47 |
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shred
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Allentown Pennsylvania USA
Posts: 1,038
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A friend of mine took this picture a few days ago, other than the "Pastor & Chef" bit it is unaltered:
 "Ignorance is not bliss; it is terrifying like walking blindfolded down a dark hallway full of set bear traps." ~ Sternwallow Death will be like 1964 all over again. |
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12-09-2014, 09:13 AM
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#48 | |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-09-2014, 09:14 AM
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#49 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-09-2014, 09:17 AM
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#50 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 Oh, come let us adore him! The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-09-2014, 09:27 AM
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#51 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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I'll play my best for him, pa rum pum pum pum!  The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-09-2014, 09:30 AM
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#52 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-09-2014, 09:48 AM
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#53 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 Deck those halls with bows of folly! Francis has taken some time out of trolling our forum with his lies for Jesus, and has mailed his letter to Santa Claus in the North Pole. Sleigh bells ring, he's not list'nin', From his mouth, drool is glist'nin', He pulls on his dong, As he spouts along, Lying for his little Christmas friend.  Dear Santa Claus, I believe in you! I believe in Christmas! I believe in angels! I believe pretty much everything that makes me feel warm and tingly in my tummy. Jesus is real! Christmas elves are proof of this! We know that elves are real, and why would there be elves without Christmas? And the existence of Christmas proves that Jesus died for my sins and will save me so that I can live with Him in heaven forever, eating fudge and divinity, and listening to Christian rock music, while we laugh at those who rejected his love, who are burning in hell! We also know that Santa is magic. Who else is magic? Jesus! And that demonstrates the real power of MY god! Howla loola! Put your love in my mouth, oh, lord! This year, I would like you to bring the message of my Lord Jesus to all of the world! Tell them how he gave his love to shepherds in the manager, and how he did real magic tricks, and how he tortured himself to temporary death to show us how much he loves us! I would also like you to bring me a realistic Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey costume for our Christmas pageant next year. Yours in Jesus mendacity, Francis ******************************************************************** Sweet little fraudulent Francis, I'm not sure if you got kicked really hard in the head by a donkey when you were younger, or if that ding dong merrily on high you hear ringing in your ears are organic jingle bells. Not that it really matters! Dimwit is as dimwit does, huh? Here's a little Christmas idea for you, asshole: What you really need for Christmas is a fucking clue, but Santa's bag is not big enough to hold one that is large enough to take a dent out of your deranged worldview. Don't worry about the donkey costume, Francis, you are already a big enough jackass as it is. Santa is going to bring you a half gallon of drain cleaner. Jesus would like you to go a-wassailing among the drains so clean. Take a couple of guzzles of that, and call me on Christmas morning. Buon Natale! ~ Santa ******************************************************************** Hey! Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, (hee-haw, hee-haw) The Italian Christmas donkey. (la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da) Santa's got a little friend, His name is Dominick. The cutest little donkey, You never see him kick. When Santa visits his paisons, With Dominick he'll be. Because the reindeer cannot, Climb the hills of Italy.  The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-09-2014, 04:42 PM
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#54 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-09-2014, 04:55 PM
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#55 | |
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Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
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Quote:
 "I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death." Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle. |
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12-10-2014, 03:39 AM
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#56 | |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-10-2014, 09:34 AM
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#57 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-10-2014, 09:34 AM
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#58 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-10-2014, 09:35 AM
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#59 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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12-10-2014, 03:07 PM
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#60 |
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Thank God I’m an atheist
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Little Britain
Posts: 1,076
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Fuck! It appears I've completely lost the ability to post pictures.
"Belief means not wanting to know what is true" Friedrich Nietzsche Last edited by Eternal; 12-10-2014 at 03:08 PM. Reason: I'm a dumb cunt. |
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