Lonley Atheist

sehru89 · 02-08-2011, 07:28 AM

Hi,
i joined this forum b/c i wanted to make some atheist friends. im from southwestern virginia, i believe thats part of the bible belt. Anyway, my whole family is christian, my fiance and his family, and all my friends are as well. Even people i know who are on the fence are too scared to talk about it. Ive just been feeling alone and opressed lately. I cant stand holding my tougue about my beliefs.
Religion just scares people into believing, thats one of the things that initialy turned me off about it. i dont need to be scared of being burned for all eternity just to be a good person. I had gone to a website yesterday www.evilbible.com , it was real interesting. it basically turns the bible against itself, points out all the contridictions and hateful speech within it. Anyway, i posted the link on my facebook. In response my granny of all poeple says "theres enough evil in the world without you adding to it", this really hurt my feelings! There is nothing evil on the site except whats quoted directly from the bible.
i go home and i tell my fiance about it and he says i should put "atheist stuff up where my granny can see, its not good for her", the today my sister asks me where i think my dad went(he died about 5yrs ago)i told her what i thought, he went back to nothingness. What im trying to say is, they actually got me feeling bad about being an atheist and being open about my views.
i know this is a long post, it was a little of me getting things off my chest, i would really enjoy if i could find some friends. i really do feel alone.

Smellyoldgit · 02-08-2011, 07:56 AM

We may not be able to change the habits of your deluded family, but this place can be a splendid haunt to rant & vent about the stupidity that is religion. Welcome aboard.

West491 · 02-08-2011, 08:03 AM

Did you become atheist after you were engaged to your fiance? If not, then I'm curious as to why you chose, as an atheist, to marry a religious person with a religious family. Didn't you foresee conflict?

Also, all your friends are Christians? Boy, I bet you guys have tons of fun drinking your grape juice and eating wafers.

Anyway, this forum is a good place to meet some good, intelligent, like-minded people. It seems that's what you really need.

Welcome to the forum.

nkb · 02-08-2011, 08:04 AM

Welcome, sehru!

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, that really sucks! Although we can't directly help you with those issues, I hope you find some kindred spirits here with whom you can release some tension.

Out of curiosity, where do you stand as far as being financially independant from the rest of your family?

Professor Chaos · 02-08-2011, 09:25 AM

Welcome, sehru.

Stick around.

MajorTomWaits99 · 02-08-2011, 09:37 AM

Dont' Feel bad about being an atheist. you don't sound like a cantankerous angsty brat so you shouldn't be made to feel bad : \

WELCOME

sehru89 · 02-08-2011, 10:33 AM

thanx for the replies! i already feel at home.
West491, when me and my fiance got together i was agnostic. then my dad died after we had been together 6mos, i wanted and tried to make myself believe in any god, even if it wasnt the christian god, its just never made logical sense to me. religion hasnt really been an issue with us, it would be awesome if he shared my views but if i was going to base my intimate relationships on wether he was religious or not i would never date.
My friends are like most christians, they beleive that Jesus was son of god and blah blah, but everything else they make up to feel okay about what they're doin. we drink, as well as do other substances. I just generally stay away from the religion issue.
Does anyone else ever get the feeling that you're the only sane person in the world. Everyone else is skitzo, and its being incouraged. i know why they believe in it. In the end there is only one reason someone could believe in somthing so insane. Comfort. Knowing that your loved ones are in Paradise and looking down on you is comforting. i know that isnt true and im not going to lie to myself to be happy. im okay with it. but who am i to take that comfort away from someone i love. thats why i feel so bad somtimes, and why i just stay away from talking about it.

West491 · 02-08-2011, 10:57 AM

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

West491, when me and my fiance got together i was agnostic. then my dad died after we had been together 6mos, i wanted and tried to make myself believe in any god, even if it wasnt the christian god, its just never made logical sense to me.

Please correct me if I'm wrong: You're atheist because you're upset that you're dad died and you feel that if a god exists, he wouldn't have let that happen. Is this accurate?

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

religion hasnt really been an issue with us, it would be awesome if he shared my views but if i was going to base my intimate relationships on wether he was religious or not i would never date.

Why?

Also, what if you two have children? Surely, he will want to indoctrinate them. I can't even imagine a Christian parent who allows his [young] children to not believe. How do you feel about your children being indoctrinated? I don't mean to meddle in your business. You can tell me to fuck off if you want. But I'm interested in these types of things: atheist and theist marriages. Just glancing at the Facebook statuses of some of my theist associates and family members irritates me sometimes, so I'm curious as to how you are able to live with a theist.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

My friends are like most christians, they beleive that Jesus was son of god and blah blah, but everything else they make up to feel okay about what they're doin. we drink, as well as do other substances. I just generally stay away from the religion issue.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

Does anyone else ever get the feeling that you're the only sane person in the world.

Not too often, because I have atheist friends, about 99% of whom I met, and will continue to meet, in university. Like I said, you probably need to find some like-minded friends, in real life.

sehru89 · 02-08-2011, 11:29 AM

West491, i dont mind the questions. Thats why we're all atheist right? cuz we asked too many questions.
Before i get into it, how do u quote things i post. i cant figure it out?
Anyway, no i didnt turn into an atheist b/c my dad died. Thats so cliche, "oh someone i love died, how could god do this? WHY!?". I never got that. its selfish. i guess my upbringing had something to do with it, my mom never took me to church, she wasnt into organized religion when i was younger. She is now. But i was never indoctrinated, ive never been baptized. i did go to church with my aunt, i hated it. it was so boring and always smelt like spearment gum. So its just never been that important to me.
Then i grew up and i was able to look into it myself and i realized how intolerant it was, i hated how it was being forced on me(idk were you're from, but here, there is really no seperation what-so-ever of church and state). it was annoying that every question i asked led to more questions. it didnt make sense. i guess ive alway been atheist, its just i said i was agnostic b/c its more accepted.
As far as children. he doesnt go to church now, and ive already had the talk about indoctrinating a.k.a brainwashing. i will let her get baptised since its important to him, i will teach him/her myself about other religions, im gonna be open with him/her about me being an atheist. he/she can choose what they want to believe. And its pretty easy living with him, he believes in Jesus, but he thinks as long as you're a good person youll go to heaven. Hes not super religious.

West491 · 02-08-2011, 11:52 AM

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

West491, i dont mind the questions. Thats why we're all atheist right? cuz we asked too many questions.

Yep! Exactly.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

Before i get into it, how do u quote things i post. i cant figure it out?

I had the same problem when I first joined. At the bottom right of the message that you want to quote there is a "QUOTE" button, click on that. If you want to write a message with more than one quote (from different posts), then you click the "QUOTE+" and then on the last post you want to quote you press "QUOTE" and proceed to typing your message.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

Anyway, no i didnt turn into an atheist b/c my dad died. Thats so cliche, "oh someone i love died, how could god do this? WHY!?". I never got that. its selfish.

Alrighty, I just needed clarification.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

As far as children. he doesnt go to church now, and ive already had the talk about indoctrinating a.k.a brainwashing. i will let her get baptised since its important to him, i will teach him/her myself about other religions, im gonna be open with him/her about me being an atheist. he/she can choose what they want to believe.

I think its great that you plan on allowing your child freedom of choice, something I didn't have when I was growing up.

Also, You should know that, a child, without being indoctrinated at a young age, very rarely turns out to be religious. This is a testament to how much god cares about children that aren't brainwashed in his name at an early age.

Sometimes I imagine atheist and theist parents coming to an agreement and declaring, "Our child will go to church every other Sunday" or something stupid like that.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

And its pretty easy living with him, he believes in Jesus, but he thinks as long as you're a good person youll go to heaven. Hes not super religious.

You'll have to excuse me. Sometimes I'm so cynical that I generalize and think that "religious" equates to "religious nut".

Also, how did you two meet? You said you didn't mind the questions so now I'm really gonna grill ya

nkb · 02-08-2011, 11:54 AM

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

Before i get into it, how do u quote things i post. i cant figure it out?

Just use the "Quote" button on the bottom right of the post you want to quote.

If you want to break up the post so that you can individually answer each point, it takes some editing. Let us know if you want more info on that.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

i guess ive alway been atheist, its just i said i was agnostic b/c its more accepted.

I hear you, that's exactly what I did when I got to college. The term "atheist" had so much negative baggage attached to it by religious people, that I went by "agnostic" for a while. It took me a little while to realize that I had always been an atheist, even when I was a young kid.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

As far as children. he doesnt go to church now, and ive already had the talk about indoctrinating a.k.a brainwashing. i will let her get baptised since its important to him, i will teach him/her myself about other religions, im gonna be open with him/her about me being an atheist. he/she can choose what they want to believe. And its pretty easy living with him, he believes in Jesus, but he thinks as long as you're a good person youll go to heaven. Hes not super religious.

Sounds like you have a similar setup to mine. Good for you!

sehru89 · 02-08-2011, 11:52 AM

West491, i dont mind the questions. Thats why we're all atheist right? cuz we asked too many questions.
Before i get into it, how do u quote things i post. i cant figure it out?
Anyway, no i didnt turn into an atheist b/c my dad died. Thats so cliche, "oh someone i love died, how could god do this? WHY!?". I never got that. its selfish. i guess my upbringing had something to do with it, my mom never took me to church, she wasnt into organized religion when i was younger. She is now. But i was never indoctrinated, ive never been baptized. i did go to church with my aunt, i hated it. it was so boring and always smelt like spearment gum. So its just never been that important to me.
Then i grew up and i was able to look into it myself and i realized how intolerant it was, i hated how it was being forced on me(idk were you're from, but here, there is really no seperation what-so-ever of church and state). it was annoying that every question i asked led to more questions. it didnt make sense. i guess ive alway been atheist, its just i said i was agnostic b/c its more accepted.
As far as children. he doesnt go to church now, and ive already had the talk about indoctrinating a.k.a brainwashing. i will let her get baptised since its important to him, i will teach him/her myself about other religions, im gonna be open with him/her about me being an atheist. he/she can choose what they want to believe. And its pretty easy living with him, he believes in Jesus, but he thinks as long as you're a good person youll go to heaven. Hes not super religious.

ILOVEJESUS · 02-09-2011, 03:37 AM

Quote:

West491 wrote

Please correct me if I'm wrong: You're atheist because you're upset that you're dad died and you feel that if a god exists, he wouldn't have let that happen. Is this accurate?

Why?

Also, what if you two have children? Surely, he will want to indoctrinate them. I can't even imagine a Christian parent who allows his [young] children to not believe. How do you feel about your children being indoctrinated? I don't mean to meddle in your business. You can tell me to fuck off if you want. But I'm interested in these types of things: atheist and theist marriages. Just glancing at the Facebook statuses of some of my theist associates and family members irritates me sometimes, so I'm curious as to how you are able to live with a theist.

Not too often, because I have atheist friends, about 99% of whom I met, and will continue to meet, in university. Like I said, you probably need to find some like-minded friends, in real life.

My wife is catholic, though not devout, I couldn't put up with that. My son has been Christened, we were married in church etc, but she understood that for me it was more from a traditional, quaint, pointless (christening not the wedding lol) stand point. My son will not be indoctrinated and my wife would not dare. If he chooses to spend his life following a pretend person then I would have to let him live his life, but would be dissapointed any reason I emparted didn't stick with him , after the obvious rebellion of the teenage years. "Dad I'm going to church to piss you off!!"

West491 · 02-09-2011, 05:09 AM

Quote:

ILOVEJESUS wrote

My wife is catholic, though not devout, I couldn't put up with that. My son has been Christened, we were married in church etc, but she understood that for me it was more from a traditional, quaint, pointless (christening not the wedding lol) stand point. My son will not be indoctrinated and my wife would not dare.

So does your wife go to church every week and take the child with her, or does she leave him at home with you? Either way, it seems that there will be some degree of separation in your family.

I'm assuming she attends some sort of religious service every week.

What does she think will happen to you when you die? What does she think will happen upon the death of a person who is not good and moral?

Quote:

ILOVEJESUS wrote

If he chooses to spend his life following a pretend person then I would have to let him live his life, but would be dissapointed any reason I emparted didn't stick with him , after the obvious rebellion of the teenage years. "Dad I'm going to church to piss you off!!"

Without your son having been indoctrinated, that sort of rebellion won't last long. He should easily be able to spot the bullshit in organized religion. I read somewhere that the percentage of "secular" kids who grew older and joined a religion is extremely small.

anthonyjfuchs · 02-09-2011, 08:18 AM

Quote:

ILOVEJESUS wrote

My son has been Christened...

You know, I knew I married the right woman when, after our daughter was born, my wife's step-mother asked if we were going to have the baby "dedicated" (which is the asinine Born-Againer version of baptism/christening), and my wife, looking aghast, blurted out: "no fucking way." It was beautiful: a kind of guttural reaction requiring no thought at all.

I'll remember those three words until the day I shuffle loose this mortal coil. They made an already excellent day damn-near-perfect