who jacks off the most? - Page 100

The5thLine · 04-09-2018, 04:31 PM

Quote:

hertz vanrental wrote

There was a discussion not too long ago about having sex during their period. Some said that they definitely felt that they were more turned on during their period. It has to be planned in advance of course, for obvious reasons.

My wife is the same way. She may be more turned on, but I don't like it and have a hard time keeping a boner when I think about it. I know it's natural and all, but body fluids creep me out a bit.

Quote:

hertz vanrental wrote

By the way, being a female, jerry/mary, the papist twat, technically, can't Jack off but she does do analytics with Android iq6.

You might not be able to jack it but you can DJ that clit up

hertz vanrental · 04-11-2018, 01:48 AM

Quote:

ghoulslime wrote

So this thread ran into some serious scope creep. Did we ever determine who jacks off the most?

It can't be the papist bitch mary. She's too fuckin' old.

I reckon it has to be android IQ 6, who is seriously creepy. Anyone who doubts it, see the Stephen Hawking thread.

hertz vanrental · 04-14-2018, 01:32 AM

... Also, the fat, old, ugly papist bitch is female and therefore, technically, can't jack off.

Therefore, it must be the seriously weird android IQ 6 who thinks that cancer is a cure for Mankind's boredom that jacks off the most.

Noodle · 04-29-2018, 06:37 PM

I love that this is still here. Since we're living in a post fact society, I'll go ahead and say that I feel like theists jack off more.

Noodle · 04-29-2018, 07:15 PM

I mean, it just seems like common sense that they do.

Hobotronic2037 · 04-29-2018, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Noodle wrote

I mean, it just seems like common sense that they do.

I mean I can see that. The fact that they feel guilty about even having genitalia, let alone touching it and thinking god can watch them must be one of those forbidden fruit things.

On the other hand maybe it makes them wary of it. The whole spilling the seed on the ground thing being considered bad.

I think that, while it may seem common sense that theists do it more, that it could be more elusive.

Noodle · 04-29-2018, 09:23 PM

The theists on here now are super weird. Like dirty language and weird fantasies about what Satan's gonna do to atheists in hell. I wonder if they think that's what Jesus would be like if he were a member here?

hertz vanrental · 04-30-2018, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Noodle wrote

The theists on here now are super weird. Like dirty language and weird fantasies about what Satan's gonna do to atheists in hell. I wonder if they think that's what Jesus would be like if he were a member here?

There's no evidence to support a theory that the christards here 'Think'. They just do and think what the pillock in the pulpit tells them to.

Talking about weird fantasies - android IQ 6 is off the scale of weird. Take a look at the Stephen Hawking thread. There he talks of sucking on dead men's dicks. Now tell me, what kind of a mind is it that thinks of such things? He also wanted to fart in KA's face and shit in his mouth. WTF?

ghoulslime · 08-31-2018, 04:52 AM

Sitting in the Bangkok airport today, I remembered the good old days at Raving Atheists, and decided to stop past. I can’t believe that Choobus’ Jack off thread is already 13 years old. I also can’t believe that it took me 13 years to realize how inaccurately the base premise of this thread is posed. Christ Jesus! 13 years is long enough to impregnate a Catholic school girl, and raise her son to the prime age for molestation!

Anyway, there is a glaring inaccuracy in the question of who jacks off the most, an imprecision that clearly needs addressing immediately. I can’t imagine anything more pressing at this point in spacetime. Thus, I have addressed it.

When wondering who jacks off the most, is the reference to self-stimulation or the stimulation of others. If the supposition includes the stimulation of others, then we are surely closer to resolution of this important philosophical discussion, at last!

I once knew a Catholic priest who worked weekends as a juggler at children’s birthday parties. It seems to me, a good Catholic priest could easily blow threw…uhhh…ummm…jack off several dozen young boys in any given work week, in addition to any self-directed monkey spanking. A priest who also juggled, could hypothetically satisfy the throbbing rods of God’s glorious work with a dexterity that would put the average weenie wizard to shame. With a bit of organization, a juggling priest could really raise the boner bar high.

ghoulslime · 08-31-2018, 05:02 AM

My parish priest was a hell of a saint.
His vestment smelled like a little boy’s taint.
He lined one hundred lads up against the wall,
And bet me fifty dollars he could suck them all.
He sucked ninety-eight, ‘till his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and sucked the other two.
Ahhhh….men!

Hobotronic2037 · 08-31-2018, 04:47 PM

Quote:

ghoulslime wrote

My parish priest was a hell of a saint.
His vestment smelled like a little boy’s taint.
He lined one hundred lads up against the wall,
And bet me fifty dollars he could suck them all.
He sucked ninety-eight, ‘till his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and sucked the other two.
Ahhhh….men!

Hahha. Yes. Unlike the lawd, GS returns!! How many comings is this? Haha. And in classic form. Better than ever even.

Jerry John will be very sad that you have not converted to christardology, as he claimed a few months back.

ghoulslime · 08-31-2018, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Hobotronic2037 wrote

Hahha. Yes. Unlike the lawd, GS returns!! How many comings is this? Haha. And in classic form. Better than ever even.

Jerry John will be very sad that you have not converted to christardology, as he claimed a few months back.

Hahaha! I wouldn’t worry too much about me ever loving the lord long time. Jesus doesn’t have enough game. He got JJ drunk, and said, “Me so horny! Put my flesh and body fluids in your mouth!”, and JJ thought they were going steady. It’s a romantic tale, but I’d rather not have Jesus romancing my tail.

Sinfidel · 09-01-2018, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Hobotronic2037 wrote

I mean I can see that. The fact that they feel guilty about even having genitalia, let alone touching it and thinking god can watch them must be one of those forbidden fruit things.

On the other hand maybe it makes them wary of it. The whole spilling the seed on the ground thing being considered bad.

Since God gave us Kleenex, the spilling the seed thing has becum redundant.

hertz vanrental · 09-01-2018, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Hobotronic2037 wrote

Jerry John will be very sad that you have not converted to christardology, as he claimed a few months back.

I think most everyone put the papist bitch on ignore so she fucked off. I don't think the fucktard posts any more. Even if the twat did post, no one would even read it or respond.

hertz vanrental · 09-02-2018, 04:15 AM

Quote:

ghoulslime wrote

My parish priest was a hell of a saint.
His vestment smelled like a little boy’s taint.
He lined one hundred lads up against the wall,
And bet me fifty dollars he could suck them all.
He sucked ninety-eight, ‘till his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and sucked the other two.
Ahhhh….men!

A christard choirmaster from King's
Had his mind on much higher things
His secret desire
Was the young boy in the choir
With a bum like jelly on springs.