Lonley Atheist

[sehru89]

West491, i dont mind the questions. Thats why we're all atheist right? cuz we asked too many questions.
Before i get into it, how do u quote things i post. i cant figure it out?
Anyway, no i didnt turn into an atheist b/c my dad died. Thats so cliche, "oh someone i love died, how could god do this? WHY!?". I never got that. its selfish. i guess my upbringing had something to do with it, my mom never took me to church, she wasnt into organized religion when i was younger. She is now. But i was never indoctrinated, ive never been baptized. i did go to church with my aunt, i hated it. it was so boring and always smelt like spearment gum. So its just never been that important to me.
Then i grew up and i was able to look into it myself and i realized how intolerant it was, i hated how it was being forced on me(idk were you're from, but here, there is really no seperation what-so-ever of church and state). it was annoying that every question i asked led to more questions. it didnt make sense. i guess ive alway been atheist, its just i said i was agnostic b/c its more accepted.
As far as children. he doesnt go to church now, and ive already had the talk about indoctrinating a.k.a brainwashing. i will let her get baptised since its important to him, i will teach him/her myself about other religions, im gonna be open with him/her about me being an atheist. he/she can choose what they want to believe. And its pretty easy living with him, he believes in Jesus, but he thinks as long as you're a good person youll go to heaven. Hes not super religious.

[West491]

sehru89 wrote

West491, i dont mind the questions. Thats why we're all atheist right? cuz we asked too many questions.

Yep! Exactly.

sehru89 wrote

Before i get into it, how do u quote things i post. i cant figure it out?

I had the same problem when I first joined. At the bottom right of the message that you want to quote there is a "QUOTE" button, click on that. If you want to write a message with more than one quote (from different posts), then you click the "QUOTE+" and then on the last post you want to quote you press "QUOTE" and proceed to typing your message.

sehru89 wrote

Anyway, no i didnt turn into an atheist b/c my dad died. Thats so cliche, "oh someone i love died, how could god do this? WHY!?". I never got that. its selfish.

Alrighty, I just needed clarification.

sehru89 wrote

As far as children. he doesnt go to church now, and ive already had the talk about indoctrinating a.k.a brainwashing. i will let her get baptised since its important to him, i will teach him/her myself about other religions, im gonna be open with him/her about me being an atheist. he/she can choose what they want to believe.

I think its great that you plan on allowing your child freedom of choice, something I didn't have when I was growing up.

Also, You should know that, a child, without being indoctrinated at a young age, very rarely turns out to be religious. This is a testament to how much god cares about children that aren't brainwashed in his name at an early age.

Sometimes I imagine atheist and theist parents coming to an agreement and declaring, "Our child will go to church every other Sunday" or something stupid like that.

sehru89 wrote

And its pretty easy living with him, he believes in Jesus, but he thinks as long as you're a good person youll go to heaven. Hes not super religious.

You'll have to excuse me. Sometimes I'm so cynical that I generalize and think that "religious" equates to "religious nut".

Also, how did you two meet? You said you didn't mind the questions so now I'm really gonna grill ya

[nkb]

sehru89 wrote

Before i get into it, how do u quote things i post. i cant figure it out?

Just use the "Quote" button on the bottom right of the post you want to quote.

If you want to break up the post so that you can individually answer each point, it takes some editing. Let us know if you want more info on that.

sehru89 wrote

i guess ive alway been atheist, its just i said i was agnostic b/c its more accepted.

I hear you, that's exactly what I did when I got to college. The term "atheist" had so much negative baggage attached to it by religious people, that I went by "agnostic" for a while. It took me a little while to realize that I had always been an atheist, even when I was a young kid.

sehru89 wrote

As far as children. he doesnt go to church now, and ive already had the talk about indoctrinating a.k.a brainwashing. i will let her get baptised since its important to him, i will teach him/her myself about other religions, im gonna be open with him/her about me being an atheist. he/she can choose what they want to believe. And its pretty easy living with him, he believes in Jesus, but he thinks as long as you're a good person youll go to heaven. Hes not super religious.

Sounds like you have a similar setup to mine. Good for you!

[West491]

nkb wrote

Yes, I was an out-of-the-closet atheist when we got married. She is a non-practicing Catholic, but, really, she's tending towards being a deist. She believes in God, but doesn't really buy the Catholic Church bullshit any more.

She thinks that good, moral people, no matter whether they are religious or not, will be treated well in the afterlife.

Ok I see. What does she think will happen upon the death of a person who is not good and moral?

nkb wrote

Absolutely. Married 10 years this year, together for 18 years.

Congrats on your anniversary ! Sometimes when people tell me about their 10,20,30-year marriage anniversaries, it amazes me. I can't even imagine being committed to one person for that long, as I'm only 19 (20 approaching) and my longest relationship has been about 6 months. You could say that that relationship was purely...passionate.

nkb wrote

Compatible personalities (which we have) has far more impact than any religious differences.

You may not realize it, but this right here has given me a lot to think about. And thanks for answering my probing questions.

[Eva]

dump the fiance.
and welcome to our humble forum!

[nkb]

West491 wrote

Ok I see. What does she think will happen upon the death of a person who is not good and moral?

I've never really pushed her on the subject, as we have a general agreement not to discuss religion, so I'm not sure.

West491 wrote

Congrats on your anniversary ! Sometimes when people tell me about their 10,20,30-year marriage anniversaries, it amazes me. I can't even imagine being committed to one person for that long, as I'm only 19 (20 approaching) and my longest relationship has been about 6 months. You could say that that relationship was purely...passionate.

I've always been more of a long-term relationship type of person, so it's not a big deal for me. Everyone is wired differently, and, obviously, with a lot of people, perspectives change as you get older.

West491 wrote

You may not realize it, but this right here has given me a lot to think about. And thanks for answering my probing questions.

No problem.

[Qlidnaque]

welcome aboard, my fellow rational thinking friend!

[clambake]

Welcome sehru.

sehru89 wrote

Does anyone else ever get the feeling that you're the only sane person in the world.

Sometimes.

However I've had the pleasure of meeting a few folks here in person and they are quite sane, so I know I'm not the only one. In fact based on that I can be reasonably certain several others here are equally sane, and it'll be obvious who they are in short order.

[psychodiva]

West491 wrote

Congrats on your anniversary ! Sometimes when people tell me about their 10,20,30-year marriage anniversaries, it amazes me. I can't even imagine being committed to one person for that long, as I'm only 19 (20 approaching) and my longest relationship has been about 6 months. You could say that that relationship was purely...passionate.

LOL- 31 years in April

[ILOVEJESUS]

West491 wrote

Please correct me if I'm wrong: You're atheist because you're upset that you're dad died and you feel that if a god exists, he wouldn't have let that happen. Is this accurate?



Why?

Also, what if you two have children? Surely, he will want to indoctrinate them. I can't even imagine a Christian parent who allows his [young] children to not believe. How do you feel about your children being indoctrinated? I don't mean to meddle in your business. You can tell me to fuck off if you want. But I'm interested in these types of things: atheist and theist marriages. Just glancing at the Facebook statuses of some of my theist associates and family members irritates me sometimes, so I'm curious as to how you are able to live with a theist.





Not too often, because I have atheist friends, about 99% of whom I met, and will continue to meet, in university. Like I said, you probably need to find some like-minded friends, in real life.

My wife is catholic, though not devout, I couldn't put up with that. My son has been Christened, we were married in church etc, but she understood that for me it was more from a traditional, quaint, pointless (christening not the wedding lol) stand point. My son will not be indoctrinated and my wife would not dare. If he chooses to spend his life following a pretend person then I would have to let him live his life, but would be dissapointed any reason I emparted didn't stick with him , after the obvious rebellion of the teenage years. "Dad I'm going to church to piss you off!!"

[West491]

ILOVEJESUS wrote

My wife is catholic, though not devout, I couldn't put up with that. My son has been Christened, we were married in church etc, but she understood that for me it was more from a traditional, quaint, pointless (christening not the wedding lol) stand point. My son will not be indoctrinated and my wife would not dare.

So does your wife go to church every week and take the child with her, or does she leave him at home with you? Either way, it seems that there will be some degree of separation in your family.

I'm assuming she attends some sort of religious service every week.

What does she think will happen to you when you die? What does she think will happen upon the death of a person who is not good and moral?

ILOVEJESUS wrote

If he chooses to spend his life following a pretend person then I would have to let him live his life, but would be dissapointed any reason I emparted didn't stick with him , after the obvious rebellion of the teenage years. "Dad I'm going to church to piss you off!!"

Without your son having been indoctrinated, that sort of rebellion won't last long. He should easily be able to spot the bullshit in organized religion. I read somewhere that the percentage of "secular" kids who grew older and joined a religion is extremely small.

[West491]

psychodiva wrote

LOL- 31 years in April

Wow! That sort of commitment is admirable. Hats off you you !

[Sol]

psychodiva wrote

LOL- 31 years in April

Oo, ya just pipped us, 30yrs in Sept.... 15 legal, 15 over the broom.

The current Mrs Sol has some quant ideas about afterlife and continuation of spirit, which I find endearing.... (which she in turn finds condescending.)

No gods tho, definately non of that mallarky....nope..

[anthonyjfuchs]

ILOVEJESUS wrote

My son has been Christened...

You know, I knew I married the right woman when, after our daughter was born, my wife's step-mother asked if we were going to have the baby "dedicated" (which is the asinine Born-Againer version of baptism/christening), and my wife, looking aghast, blurted out: "no fucking way." It was beautiful: a kind of guttural reaction requiring no thought at all.

I'll remember those three words until the day I shuffle loose this mortal coil. They made an already excellent day damn-near-perfect

[ILOVEJESUS]

West491 wrote

So does your wife go to church every week and take the child with her, or does she leave him at home with you? Either way, it seems that there will be some degree of separation in your family.

I'm assuming she attends some sort of religious service every week.

What does she think will happen to you when you die? What does she think will happen upon the death of a person who is not good and moral?



Without your son having been indoctrinated, that sort of rebellion won't last long. He should easily be able to spot the bullshit in organized religion. I read somewhere that the percentage of "secular" kids who grew older and joined a religion is extremely small.

No she doesn't, and nor would he go. Most theists I meet are like my wife. they believe in some order and goodwilling spirit, yet do not do much to show this. I joke sometimes that i will end up rotting, or burned to cinders. Her comeback is, "well Ill be with Jesus", said with a wry smile.