who jacks off the most?

[ghoulslime]

Tib wrote

if masturbation is wrong I dont wanta be right??

Just use your left hand. :D

[Choobus]

My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)

Choobus wrote

My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)

I don't believe this. There's no way he'd be getting any pleasure from it after the first 2 or 3 times or so

Striver wrote

I don't believe this. There's no way he'd be getting any pleasure from it after the first 2 or 3 times or so

What? With the right diet and technique you can have a ready-rupert, inside and out, after about 17 minutes from the previous wank. I say I could milk the snake 50 to 55 times in one day if I wanted to. That's called a healthy libido, folks. :D



I could impregnate the world in under a week. Not to brag or anything. :cool:


Edit: And it would be pleasurable up to 43rd time for a 1-day wankathon, and pleasurable up to the Philippines for a world-impregnation attempt.

[Tenspace]

Aristarchus wrote

Edit: And it would be pleasurable up to 43rd time for a 1-day wankathon, and pleasurable up to the Philippines for a world-impregnation attempt.

Would the Phillipines fall before or after Thailand on your route? ;)

Per day or lifetime total? I'd have to use scientific notation to express my tally. I was very lonely during junior high school.

ghoulslime wrote

Just use your left hand. :D

It's only a sin if it's done correctly. ;)

[Choobus]

nobody can challenge Tommy Pedro! His 17 wank/day record stands. All hail chief wanker tommy pedro, the king of jerking, the master of mastabation, the iyatollah of spunk

St. Teabag wrote

Since we are informed that there are no Raelian orgies, I submit that they are the ones who wank themost. Certainly from testmanias posts he has revealed himself to be a right tosser, and the jerky nature if his writing is quite consistend with a one handed tyoing style. I say without evidence and in an entirely arbitrary manner that testmanina wanks his tiny penis more than this tommy pedro character, probably over 20 times a day. He may well do so to please his alien masters

The harvesting of the man-chowder of a true believer Raelian is probably part of the Raelian cloning procedure;)

Bighead wrote

I'm at LEAST once a day, usually twice, sometimes thrice. When I was still a xtian, it was maybe once a week...I thought that what I was doing was wrong and that god was going to hate me...then I learned to say fuck god and now I'm a happy 2x a day wanker.

Wasn't it better when you thought Jesus was watching?

ChiefOfAss wrote

Wasn't it better when you thought Jesus was watching?

Um, no

St. Teabag wrote

he's talking about jesus watching a monkey spanking session, and perhaps taking a faceful of jizz (since he is everywhere)

I know. Exhibitionist for Christ would not be hot for me. I wouldn't really feel like he was into it.

St. Teabag wrote

nah, he loves it. He's a right dirty bastard......

TOTALLY. I think that every night, Mary Mag was filled out like Chinese Fingercuffs and the 9 apostles who didn't have an oriface to occupy were watching while they waited in line.

[Sternwallow]

"First off, that's not urine. It's grape juice. What's funny is that the standards and practices people wouldn't let me use apple juice because I couldn't use something that actually looked like urine. So... anyway, I used grape juice."
- Adam Corolla

How about using real urine with a little food coloring so your artistic integrity is preserved?

St. Teabag wrote

Adam corolla is a fucking retard. If he's allowed to talk such shit, I don't see how a little piss would hurt

Indeed.
That quote is from his new Comedy Central show. I thought it an ironic testimony to censorship in this country. I’d always wondered why max-pad commercials used polite blue fluid instead of, say, menstrual chunks.

But that aside, he is a fucking retard.

You know, he actually had the nerve to try and riff on airplane food? His own audience was like, "dude... are you serious?"