Countdown to Crapture - Page 2

Ed-M · 02-22-2011, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Sternwallow wrote

A real beauty of the shroud is that you can advance any equally bogus fantasy you wish about it with the same authority as any one else.

Have you ever noticed, for example, that real blood turns black but the so-called blood stains on the shroud are still red after all these years since the middle ages?

I actually had to check both out! Some images are computer-enhanced to make the shroud bloodstains appear black. In reality they're growing fainter and fainter. As an aside, did you know certain "2,000 year old bloodstains" on the Via Dolorosa are STILL red??? Yeah.

Quote:

Sternwallow wrote

How about those tell-tale skid marks where the 15th century monks wiped themselves with it?

The ones running from one end to the other? I've heard it reported that those were obvious burns when the cathedral it was housed in burnt down and the metal from the box housing it dripped onto the shroud. There are sixteen places on that sheet where the metal burnt right through! The scorch mark I was talking about runs between the subject's legs from the anus to 9 inches down where there is a spot supposedly where "blood" "pooled" on the thigh of the "person" and dripped to the ground. If this is not a scorch mark, the forger may have concluded that crucifixion included anal impalement and painted the thing accordingly. Not consistent with Christian thinking!

Smellyoldgit · 10-19-2011, 12:45 AM

Well fuck my jayzus crackers - I'd forgotten the final cataclysmic end of good ol' earth is happening this coming Friday! - just 5 months after the not very secret, but silent rapture of true believers last May 21st.

Quote:

Camping's Minnion Idiots wrote

“What really happened this past May 21st? What really happened is that God accomplished exactly what He wanted to happen. That was to warn the whole world that on May 21 God’s salvation program would be finished on that day. For the next five months, except for the elect (the true believers), the whole world is under God’s final judgment.”

Now I'm worried about that restaurant booking for Saturday evening.

ILOVEJESUS · 10-19-2011, 02:40 AM

I have successfully emptied my bank account , sold my house for a quid, and confessed to my wife that I have a fancy for humping trees. Roll on Friday.........

West491 · 10-19-2011, 01:29 PM

Aww methinks we're getting left behind! Well at least we can look forward to life after.

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Smellyoldgit · 10-21-2011, 04:39 AM

errr, is it happening anywhere?
The Kiwis should have copped it first, but the rugby seems to be going ok.

Even the dull & drab BBC took the piss out of the Camping eejot this morning.

West491 · 10-21-2011, 11:00 AM

On this cold and frosty evening of Friday October 21, all of my classes were relatively empty. I can not think of any other way to explain this absence of uni students from their classes on a frigid and windy Friday, therefore the Rapture has happened.

Philboid Studge · 10-21-2011, 04:42 PM

West491 · 10-21-2011, 07:32 PM

He was an engineer? Neva wooda thunkit.

Smellyoldgit · 10-22-2011, 12:45 AM

Smellyoldgit · 03-08-2012, 06:41 AM

The bumbling buffoon Camping admits to being a twat and gives up predicting shit.

Quote:

After numerous failed doomsday predictions, Family Radio founder Harold Camping announced this month that he has no plans to predict ever again the day of God's Judgment. He also issued an apology to listeners, admitting that he was wrong.

I wonder if he'll hand back the $$$milliions$$$ he raked in from his flock of gullible idiots.

Kinich Ahau · 03-08-2012, 07:09 AM

Fucking 43 fucking percent!! this is not amongst christians but everybody in the US

Davin · 03-08-2012, 07:23 AM

Seems like he might die soon, so that may have been his last prediction.

Irreligious · 03-08-2012, 07:28 AM

Fishy.

On what basis would non-Christians subscribe to the concept of an "End Times?"

Are significant numbers of Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Baha'is, Scientologists, New Agers and animists in the U.S. suddenly adopting this very specifically Protestant evangelical brand of Christian theology and incorporating it into their own religions?

Why would any of these people be expecting a return visit from an iconic figure that they do not worship as a god?

Otherwise, isn't the general U.S. public generally Christian?

Davin · 03-08-2012, 07:34 AM

One of my ex's was worried about 2012, and I had to debunk all the shit like once a month, and she was never a Christian, nor religious of any kind.

But the graphic says it was only 1008 people, and was conducted by a religious organization.

Irreligious · 03-08-2012, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Davin wrote

One of my ex's was worried about 2012, and I had to debunk all the shit like once a month, and she was never a Christian, nor religious of any kind.

But the graphic says it was only 1008 people, and was conducted by a religious organization.

I'm assuming your ex was obsessing over the whole Mayan calendar thing. If so, what has that got to do with "End Times," which is a very specifically Christian thing? Surely, your ex was not in fear of a wrathful Jesus returning to Earth, was she?