Old 12-27-2008, 08:04 AM   #1
Philboid Studge
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Festivus Airing of Grievances

You know what really grinds my gears?

That fat bastard on the crowded subway wearing a backpack the size of an aircraft carrier.

And the phrases 'no brainer' or '24/7.' And when the imaginatively challenged write "Wow, just wow" in a weblog, or when someone has no sense of timing, so they write "Wait for it ..." in between their other atrocities against language.

Other people's children. That guy behind me in a movie theater shoving popcorn down his gullet, making a noise like a wood chipper with Steve Buscemi stuck in it. Gum in the urinal.

Flatulence on airplanes. Douchebags who don't clean up their dog's shit. Loud drunks who spout pop-culture catch phrases and then bray like moronic donkeys at their lack-wit attempts to entertain. Good-looking assholes. Coors Light.

The number and length of commercials during a football game. The mark-up on a bottle of wine in a crappy restaurant. The overtly patriotic.

That's about it. (For now.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
La propriété, c'est le vol ...
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Old 12-27-2008, 09:03 AM   #2
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Basically, sort of, yer know what I mean?
At this moment in time at the end of the day - and a thousand fucking others that really trash the testicles.

Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 12-27-2008, 09:59 AM   #3
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I am constantly vexed by the way that seats on planes are designed so that when reclined they provide minimal additional comfort, but maximum leg crushing agony to the poor bastard behind, and also those who insist on slamming their seats back the moment the wheels are up and staying that way until landing.

Also, people who say how many words they can say something in, even though that more than doubles the total number of words used and in no way contributes to whatever the original message was.

PT cruisers and the dickheads who drive them

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Old 12-27-2008, 12:02 PM   #4
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People who drive 15mph below the speed limit in the left lane, then speed up when you finally get a gap to get past them.

People who buy houses at the end of the runway, then complain about airport noise and try to get the airport shut down.

Twitter.

Stupid internet names, like meebo and xanga.

And the big one: malware that acts like legit antivirus programs (are you listening AntiVirus 2009/2010?), burying themselves so deeply in winlogon that it's nearly impossible to remove them without a reformat/restore.

"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." - Justin's Dad
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Old 12-27-2008, 12:54 PM   #5
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Fuckheads that slow down, and, at the same time as actually turning, turn on the turn signal. Thanks, genius, I already figured out what you were doing, it would have been nice to see the signal earlier.

People who stop in the grocery store aisle, leaving the cart right in the middle, so that nobody can pass.

People who expect you to find their kids cute (and most of them aren't).

I'm sure I'll come up with more.

On a side note: One of my acquaintances went to a Festivus party over the holiday weekend, which included an airing of grievances, and more. Sounded like fun.

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
George Bernard Shaw
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Old 12-27-2008, 01:17 PM   #6
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATXV3DzKv68
this people fit here very nicely. they complain.

One of the most irrational of all the conventions of modern society is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected....That they should have this immunity is an outrage. There is nothing in religious ideas, as a class, to lift them above other ideas. On the contrary, they are always dubious and often quite silly.
H. L. Mencken
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Old 12-27-2008, 01:24 PM   #7
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Christians who think that christmas is a religious holiday and not a financial one

You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips.
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Old 12-27-2008, 01:24 PM   #8
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Fuckwits who stand in the bicycle lane. (about that $5 Starbucks I "accidently" knocked out of your hand with my elbow: "sorry.")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
La propriété, c'est le vol ...
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Old 12-27-2008, 01:27 PM   #9
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christards that complain that we have no freedom of speech in this forum, because we don't ban them.

One of the most irrational of all the conventions of modern society is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected....That they should have this immunity is an outrage. There is nothing in religious ideas, as a class, to lift them above other ideas. On the contrary, they are always dubious and often quite silly.
H. L. Mencken
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Old 12-27-2008, 01:37 PM   #10
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Fuckheads that slow down, and, at the same time as actually turning, turn on the turn signal. Thanks, genius, I already figured out what you were doing, it would have been nice to see the signal earlier.
Try driving on 128 outside of Boston. Maybe 50% of drivers use a turn signal at all, and the rest do exactly what you said.

That's most of Massachusetts and Rhode Island. 128 adds its own stupidity by letting people drive in the fucking breakdown lane during rush hour. Not only do you end up being passed constantly on both sides if you're stuck in the slow lane (with no blinkers, of course), but if there's an accident (at least 4 days out of 5) traffic is backed up forever, because now all those people have to get out of the breakdown lane and police and ambulances have to part traffic in order to get there.
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Old 12-27-2008, 02:17 PM   #11
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I don't mind some mild gesticulation with the hands to help get a point over - - but why oh fucking why do so many reporters flap their arms about like demented wankjobs? Is there a training camp for this brand of visual irritance?

Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 12-27-2008, 02:55 PM   #12
nkb
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Try driving on 128 outside of Boston. Maybe 50% of drivers use a turn signal at all, and the rest do exactly what you said.

That's most of Massachusetts and Rhode Island. 128 adds its own stupidity by letting people drive in the fucking breakdown lane during rush hour. Not only do you end up being passed constantly on both sides if you're stuck in the slow lane (with no blinkers, of course), but if there's an accident (at least 4 days out of 5) traffic is backed up forever, because now all those people have to get out of the breakdown lane and police and ambulances have to part traffic in order to get there.
Around here (Dallas area), using the turn signal is the equivalent of treason, because you would be letting the enemy know what your next move will be, which is unacceptable. Lane switching without turn signals is the norm.

We could probably make a separate thread just dealing with traffic related grievances.

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
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Old 12-27-2008, 04:03 PM   #13
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People who use cell phones loudly within my hearing.Not because of the technology (shit,even I've had a cell phone for nearly a year.I've even turned it on few times and once,when my car broke down, I made a call) --it's that I really don't want to hear about the depressingly boring little lives of perfect strangers.If I want to do that, I'll watch Dr Phil or some other US day time soapie.

I HATE those HUGE 4x4 driven by women who lunch to pick up their kids (double parking) from school.This loathing dates back to when there was a child fatality outside of my house caused by some dopey double parked twat outside the nearby school.

Those really sleazy looking guys with say a car yard,a carpet wharehouse or a pay-day lending company who insist on starring in their own often dishonest and misleading TV ads.

@nkb: Here,our drivers are very polite;we use our indicators after the event,to show you what we've done.
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Old 12-27-2008, 04:15 PM   #14
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People who bring new born babies onto planes (or, for that matter, anyone under 12 who can't be silenced with a dirty look). The people you are flying across the world to show your ugly bastard child to can just use a fucking webcam and spare hundreds of innocent passengers the ordeal of endless crying for hours with no escape. Guess what arseholes, babies get freaked out by aircraft and they start crying and there's fuck all you can do about it. There should be an airline just for child transportation (aeropuke). What's the point taking babies anywhere anyway? They don't know where the fuck they are, and they won't remember it. You might as well leave them at the dog kennels and avoid being such sky bastards.

You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips.
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Old 12-27-2008, 04:57 PM   #15
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People who bring new born babies onto planes (or, for that matter, anyone under 12 who can't be silenced with a dirty look). The people you are flying across the world to show your ugly bastard child to can just use a fucking webcam and spare hundreds of innocent passengers the ordeal of endless crying for hours with no escape. Guess what arseholes, babies get freaked out by aircraft and they start crying and there's fuck all you can do about it. There should be an airline just for child transportation (aeropuke). What's the point taking babies anywhere anyway? They don't know where the fuck they are, and they won't remember it. You might as well leave them at the dog kennels and avoid being such sky bastards.
Ah,a man of practical sensibilities.


I once told a work colleague I think children should be chained outside to a clothesline ,until they are 18,fed on gruel every few days and beaten regularly with a bike chain to keep them bidable

His response: "Funny you should say that,sounds like my daughter's play school"

When I see an annoying child,my instinct is to get house brick,tie it to a long piece of string, and smack the parent(s) in the head. (it's all in the wrist)

I frequent Chinese and Vietnames restaurants,where children are welcome and always eat at the table with their family. I'v never seen a misebhaving Asian child at one of these restuarants.

BUT people with infants should not be permitted on aircatft,unless the child is shipped like say a cat, doped to the eyeballs,in a cage in the luggage section..
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