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Old 03-20-2013, 11:59 AM   #1
Michael
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sometimes he is wheat coloured

Thought you guys might appreciate this. Someone sensationalising shit to sell a book, but still pretty amusing.


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HE healed the sick, walked on water, turned water into wine and, according to a newly-deciphered ancient text, Jesus was also a shapeshifter.
.....

According to van den Broek that kiss, far from a sign of affection or guilt, was Judas's way of preventing any shapeshifting trickery.
The translation reads:
"Then the Jews said to Judas: How shall we arrest him [Jesus], for he does not have a single shape but his appearance changes. Sometimes he is ruddy, sometimes he is white, sometimes he is red, sometimes he is wheat coloured, sometimes he is pallid like ascetics, sometimes he is a youth, sometimes an old manů"
The plot thickens. According to van den Broek, Jesus was not only a shapeshifter. He was also invisible.
http://www.news.com.au/technology/sc...#ixzz2O6l9XCqT
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Old 03-20-2013, 12:36 PM   #2
Davin
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Amazing, I knew he was a sneaky Jew, but that's just cheating.

Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.
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Old 03-20-2013, 08:46 PM   #3
lostsheep
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Entertaining, for sure. Zombie, shapeshifting Jeebus: Cool.

"If God inspired the Bible, why is it such a piece of shit?" (Kaziglu Bey)
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:26 PM   #4
Smellyoldgit
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Quote:
Michael wrote View Post
.... Someone sensationalising shit to sell a book ....
Isn't that what a bunch of fuckers have been doing for centuries flogging the buybull?

Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 03-21-2013, 03:40 AM   #5
Michael
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Man, if Jesus had been an invisible, shapeshifting zombie that turned into an eagle I might have actually read the bible when I was younger, instead of animorphs.
Still wouldn't have bought it, though.
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Old 03-21-2013, 07:28 AM   #6
ILOVEJESUS
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Was he in the Justice League or The Avengers??

A theist is just an atheist with a space in it.
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Old 03-22-2013, 02:59 PM   #7
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No less plausible than anything else on the subject.

thank goodness he's on our side
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Old 03-22-2013, 03:17 PM   #8
Michael
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I know, right? If you're going to go to crazy extremes and tell a story about implausible people, you may as well give them better super-powers and at least team them up with spider-man or something.
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Old 03-22-2013, 03:36 PM   #9
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It's almost like the bable plays it down out of modesty. If that sort of stuff happened nowadays, it would be on the main news every day forever.

thank goodness he's on our side
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Old 03-22-2013, 03:42 PM   #10
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Oh fuck! it is

thank goodness he's on our side
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Old 03-23-2013, 07:26 AM   #11
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And it isn't even happening nowadays!!!!

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