Blasphemy Bullshit

[nkb]

You guys don't have a choice but to have alcohol at the ready, with the climate you have up there.

[Smellyoldgit]

A selection of standing USA laws for your delectation.

Alabama:
1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

California:
1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for
anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.

Connecticut:
1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

Florida:
1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can
the salon owner.
2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on
Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee
has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired
in a swimsuit.
5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Illinois:
1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats,
and other domesticated animal kept as pets.


Indiana:
1. Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
2. Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor
ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after
eating garlic.

Iowa:
1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

Kentucky:
1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she
"cannot hold onto the ground."
2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

Louisana:
1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller
with a water pistol.
2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while
biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

Massachusetts:
1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and
securely locked.
3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a
special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

Nebraska:
1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp
during a church service.

New Mexico:
1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.

New York:
1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically
prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at
a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this
magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair
of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a
stroll.

North Dakota:
1. Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or
restaurant.

Ohio:
1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

Oklahoma:
1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at
a dog.
2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being
licensed
by the state.
3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate
in
groups of three or more on private property.

Pennsylvania:
1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and
dust
under a rug in a dwelling.
2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

Texas:
1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without
first
obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while
standing.

Vermont:
1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath
each week -- on Saturday night.

Washington:
1. All lollipops are banned.
2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with
criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the
chief
of police as he is entering the town.

West Virginia:
1. No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild
onions."

Smellyoldgit wrote

A selection of standing USA laws for your delectation.


Washington:
1. All lollipops are banned.
2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with
criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the
chief
of police as he is entering the town.

No lollipops? That's just not right.

[clambake]

Smellyoldgit wrote

Pennsylvania:
1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and
dust
under a rug in a dwelling.
2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

Re #1, I guess I'm in the clear, but #2 I'm screwed. Luckily the clerks always seem to be half-lit and are willing to waive that one.

[Sternwallow]

Stargazer wrote

Present tense. Blue laws, whether or not they are still called that, still exist. In Colorado, liquor stores are closed by law on Sundays, and other stores can only sell the beer which has the lower percentage of alcohol on that day. Sorry, I don't know what the percentage is. Not a beer drinker.

Cool, but how about, on Sunday you can buy trousers but not shorts? That is the kind of pure crap we had to deal with in NYS. Sections of stores would be roped-off on Sunday to prevent the then illegal sale of jewelry.

[dogpet]

None of these is as mad as it being a criminal offence to write or perform music with a Cuban musician.
Not only that, it's a modern law! You couldn't make it up.
Put me right if I'm wrong, it's what I heard.

Sternwallow wrote

Cool, but how about, on Sunday you can buy trousers but not shorts? That is the kind of pure crap we had to deal with in NYS. Sections of stores would be roped-off on Sunday to prevent the then illegal sale of jewelry.

select better state legislators imo.

[Gnosital]

Far worse than blue laws restricting purchase of alcohol:

States with a religious defense to the most serious crimes against children include:

• Iowa and Ohio with religious defenses to manslaughter
• Delaware and West Virginia with religious defenses to murder of a child
• Arkansas with a religious defense to capital murder
• Oregon with a religious defense to homicide by abuse

In other words, if you're a fucktard xian so-called scientist, and you let your baby die a horrible death from untreated diabetes, while paying a xian "scientist" "practitioner" to mumble over him while he slips into a coma, you can't be prosecuted for manslaughter.

http://www.childrenshealthcare.org/
I hear there's a good interview with a pediatrician who is a consultant for this organization coming up in an issue of American Atheist Magazine.

I think it's still an offense to have sex with an "invalid" in canada.

[ubs]

darwinfish wrote

I think it's still an offense to have sex with an "invalid" in canada.

Wow, the Seniors must be pissed....or maybe it makes them hotter since now they're illegal.

[Smellyoldgit]

Update:

Slightly ironic that our House of Lords has voted to abolish the laws of blasphemy and blasphemous libel.

Another small step.

[Smellyoldgit]

The deed is finally done.

We are delighted that principles of equality and free speech have triumphed, with Parliament voting out the outdated and discriminatory blasphemy laws in the UK. The blasphemy laws have, until now, enshrined in law protection against criticism for the beliefs and doctrines of the Church of England. The abolition of these laws makes clear that the privileged position of the church and the privileges given to religion more widely are out of sync with the laws of modern British society, which aim to protect real people and their rights, but not to protect their thoughts and beliefs from criticism.

[Whisper]

Smellyoldgit wrote

Texas:
1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without
first
obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while
standing.

Aww man, but I LOVE to go barefoot! If I ever plan to visit my friends in Texas, I'll have to ask them to get me a permit XD

[Eva]

whisper: address the 3 beer sips problem.

thanks. (remind me to never go to texas! )

[Whisper]

Eva - oops - sorry!

Carry a portachair? ^^ You can get them in various OP stores - solves the problem AND saves your knees at the same time