08-16-2005, 06:45 PM
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#16
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
Tib wrote
if masturbation is wrong I dont wanta be right??
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Just use your left hand. :D
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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08-17-2005, 05:29 PM
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#17
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: prick up your ears
Posts: 20,553
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My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)
You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips.
~ Philiboid Studge
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08-18-2005, 10:33 AM
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#18
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Guest
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Quote:
Choobus wrote
My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)
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I don't believe this. There's no way he'd be getting any pleasure from it after the first 2 or 3 times or so
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08-18-2005, 03:22 PM
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#19
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Guest
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Quote:
Striver wrote
Quote:
Choobus wrote
My mate Tommy Pedro (an atheist) claims to have wanked off 17 times in one day. I believe him. Can any theists beat this? (so to speak)
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I don't believe this. There's no way he'd be getting any pleasure from it after the first 2 or 3 times or so
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What? With the right diet and technique you can have a ready-rupert, inside and out, after about 17 minutes from the previous wank. I say I could milk the snake 50 to 55 times in one day if I wanted to. That's called a healthy libido, folks. :D
I could impregnate the world in under a week. Not to brag or anything. :cool:
Edit: And it would be pleasurable up to 43rd time for a 1-day wankathon, and pleasurable up to the Philippines for a world-impregnation attempt.
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08-18-2005, 03:31 PM
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#20
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I Live Here
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 10,218
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Quote:
Aristarchus wrote
Edit: And it would be pleasurable up to 43rd time for a 1-day wankathon, and pleasurable up to the Philippines for a world-impregnation attempt.
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Would the Phillipines fall before or after Thailand on your route? ;)
"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." - Justin's Dad
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08-22-2005, 05:42 PM
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#21
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Guest
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Per day or lifetime total? I'd have to use scientific notation to express my tally. I was very lonely during junior high school.
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08-22-2005, 06:40 PM
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#22
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Guest
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
Quote:
Tib wrote
if masturbation is wrong I dont wanta be right??
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Just use your left hand. :D
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It's only a sin if it's done correctly. ;)
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08-24-2005, 10:12 PM
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#23
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: prick up your ears
Posts: 20,553
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nobody can challenge Tommy Pedro! His 17 wank/day record stands. All hail chief wanker tommy pedro, the king of jerking, the master of mastabation, the iyatollah of spunk
You can always turn tricks for a few extra bucks. If looks are an issue, there's the glory hole option, but don't expect more than ... tips.
~ Philiboid Studge
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08-24-2005, 10:31 PM
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#24
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Guest
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Quote:
St. Teabag wrote
Since we are informed that there are no Raelian orgies, I submit that they are the ones who wank themost. Certainly from testmanias posts he has revealed himself to be a right tosser, and the jerky nature if his writing is quite consistend with a one handed tyoing style. I say without evidence and in an entirely arbitrary manner that testmanina wanks his tiny penis more than this tommy pedro character, probably over 20 times a day. He may well do so to please his alien masters
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The harvesting of the man-chowder of a true believer Raelian is probably part of the Raelian cloning procedure;)
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08-25-2005, 09:32 AM
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#25
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Guest
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Quote:
Bighead wrote
I'm at LEAST once a day, usually twice, sometimes thrice. When I was still a xtian, it was maybe once a week...I thought that what I was doing was wrong and that god was going to hate me...then I learned to say fuck god and now I'm a happy 2x a day wanker.
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Wasn't it better when you thought Jesus was watching?
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08-26-2005, 06:43 PM
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#26
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Guest
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Quote:
ChiefOfAss wrote
Wasn't it better when you thought Jesus was watching?
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Um, no
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08-27-2005, 04:51 PM
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#27
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Guest
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Quote:
St. Teabag wrote
Quote:
Jennifer wrote
Quote:
ChiefOfAss wrote
Wasn't it better when you thought Jesus was watching?
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Um, no
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he's talking about jesus watching a monkey spanking session, and perhaps taking a faceful of jizz (since he is everywhere)
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I know. Exhibitionist for Christ would not be hot for me. I wouldn't really feel like he was into it.
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08-28-2005, 01:04 PM
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#28
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Guest
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Quote:
St. Teabag wrote
nah, he loves it. He's a right dirty bastard......
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TOTALLY. I think that every night, Mary Mag was filled out like Chinese Fingercuffs and the 9 apostles who didn't have an oriface to occupy were watching while they waited in line.
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08-28-2005, 01:50 PM
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#29
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I Live Here
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 23,211
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"First off, that's not urine. It's grape juice. What's funny is that the standards and practices people wouldn't let me use apple juice because I couldn't use something that actually looked like urine. So... anyway, I used grape juice."
- Adam Corolla
How about using real urine with a little food coloring so your artistic integrity is preserved?
"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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08-29-2005, 12:20 PM
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#30
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Guest
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Quote:
St. Teabag wrote
Adam corolla is a fucking retard. If he's allowed to talk such shit, I don't see how a little piss would hurt
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Indeed.
That quote is from his new Comedy Central show. I thought it an ironic testimony to censorship in this country. I’d always wondered why max-pad commercials used polite blue fluid instead of, say, menstrual chunks.
But that aside, he is a fucking retard.
You know, he actually had the nerve to try and riff on airplane food? His own audience was like, "dude... are you serious?"
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