Old 01-28-2011, 10:39 AM   #7726
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Yes- I liked the ps too bloody quotable article isn't it?

“'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." Fry
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Old 01-28-2011, 01:19 PM   #7727
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Yes- I liked the ps too bloody quotable article isn't it?
Oh Yus, this among others, caught my eye...

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Johann Hari wrote
Yes, I know your religious texts mandate bigotry against gay people. They also mandate slavery and stoning adulterers, and they laud a God who feeds small children to bears (see II Kings ii, 23-24). As secular morality has evolved, you have managed to overcome those beliefs. Here’s another that has to catch up. If you are really going to defend Biblical or Koranic literalism, you’ll end up as Stephen Green, head of the tiny Christian Voice sect, who argues that there is biblical authority for the legalisation of rape by husbands. So febrile is the atmosphere in Uganda that David Kato, the incredibly brave campaigner for gay equality, was just lynched as part of the hate-wave.

Professor Plum - In the Dinning Room - with the Lead Pipe...
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Old 01-28-2011, 06:39 PM   #7728
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Top 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.



www.holysmoke.org/hs00/beer.htm
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Old 01-29-2011, 05:09 AM   #7729
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Man sentenced for sex act on horse at Devon stables

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Derek Woods was caught when he triggered alarms at the stable which had been set up by police after they were alerted by the animal's owner.
Woods, 26 and originally from Glasgow, admitted charges of animal cruelty and one of committing a sex act on a horse.
I wonder if the defence of 'consenting adults' was considered?

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Old 01-29-2011, 07:24 AM   #7730
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I'm wondering what the sex act was - cos some of them are precursors to serious offences on women and children - just sayin' from a forensic psych standpoint

“'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." Fry
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Old 01-30-2011, 03:33 AM   #7731
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Whisper found this

Being a poem about pronunciation

Quote:
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

- B. Shaw

“'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." Fry
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Old 01-30-2011, 04:25 AM   #7732
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Beet the spell chequer:


Too the hole teem – this means ewe!

Lettuce meat two knight at ate
Bee on thyme – do knot bee late
Eye no ewe will knot make me weight!

Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 01-30-2011, 06:38 AM   #7733
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“'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." Fry
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Old 01-30-2011, 04:13 PM   #7734
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I'm wondering what the sex act was - cos some of them are precursors to serious offences on women and children - just sayin' from a forensic psych standpoint
Srsly? I always wondered what was up with the sex with animals thing....ugh.

"If God inspired the Bible, why is it such a piece of shit?" (Kaziglu Bey)
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Old 01-30-2011, 04:28 PM   #7735
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Srsly? I always wondered what was up with the sex with animals thing....ugh.
How does that explain those women who smear marmite on their bits? Men who are predisposed to attack women & children may practice on animals, but that shouldn't tarnish loving inter-species relationships.

thank goodness he's on our side
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Old 01-30-2011, 05:37 PM   #7736
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Whisper found this

Being a poem about pronunciation
Shaw must have been some kind of twat,
he failed to note the rhyme with cat.

"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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Old 01-31-2011, 03:04 AM   #7737
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How does that explain those women who smear marmite on their bits?







"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
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Old 01-31-2011, 03:23 AM   #7738
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How does that explain those women who smear marmite on their bits?
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Kate wrote View Post






Of course, priests have their own preferences:


Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:38 AM   #7739
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No wait, that's not funny!

thank goodness he's on our side
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Old 01-31-2011, 01:05 PM   #7740
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"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
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