Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-19-2014, 01:22 PM   #1
mondrian
Senior Member
 
mondrian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 658
The future of religion?

Dateline: 19 Feb 2057.


Today, in a surprise move, Roman Catholic inc. made a formal bid for C of E PLC. The CEO of RC inc. and mother of two, Kylie Jones (Pope Kylie I to her friends and enemies alike), said in a statement this morning that: ‘...There is a great deal of synergy between the two enterprises. For the time being, the two brands will co-exist but, ultimately, a rationalisation will take place and cost reductions secured and realised. This, obviously, will be of benefit to shareholders.



Ms Jones, in a recent interview for People Magazine, said that RC Inc., in the past, had faced some challenging times, especially those of the 2040s following the abdication of the then Pope, Alexander IX, who preferred to abdicate rather than to admit that God did not exists, even in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence. The abdication left a power vacuum that almost left the once great Church in ruins.


Ms Jones went on to say that her predecessor had done an excellent job in stabilising what was left of the Roman Catholic Church. It was largely due to his efforts that it was able to survive and provide the service that it does today.


Commenting on the merger between RC Inc. and C of E PLC, Ms Jones stated that although the two brands would continue to co-exists because, essentially, they provide their customers with different religious experiences, some rationalisation was possible.


On the future of the merged enterprises, Ms Jones stated that they would both continue to provided ‘Religious Experience’ holidays and short breaks of the quality that the customers of the two enterprises had come to expect.


On the question of further mergers and acquisitions, Ms Jones stated that this could not be ruled out at this stage.


The stock market saw the merger as a positive step and RC Inc. shares rose $0.25 on the news.

The middle man of last resort.
mondrian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2014, 06:06 PM   #2
Smellyoldgit
Stinkin' Mod
 
Smellyoldgit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,528
The Future of Religion?


Stop the Holy See men!
Smellyoldgit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2014, 08:15 AM   #3
Davin
Obsessed Member
 
Davin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: One the armpits of the U.S. of A.
Posts: 2,854
I think they'll just slowly shrink, and in the last part of their existence, there will be some lawsuits for the remaining bits of wealth.

Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.
Davin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:02 AM   #4
Semper Idem
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 52
There'll always be religion and religious groups. The question is, how much power will they have? I suspect the best-case situation is that the churches / synagogues / mosques / whatever will be viewed the same way we view our daffy Uncle Ralph who thinks he's Napoleon - as harmless eccentrics with neither power nor influence. The loss of tax-exempt status and the loss of political influence will cut them off at the knees, and that'll be the end of their relevance to the world.

Saying that atheists hate God is like saying that teetotalers are alcoholics.
Semper Idem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:48 AM   #5
ILOVEJESUS
I Live Here
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,158
You will see religion living unhappily alongside secularism until such times as they become more cultural and less about being "real". Then they will slowly become legends....ala Zeus and Thor. Who knows, maybe Scientology will become mainstream?

A theist is just an atheist with a space in it.
ILOVEJESUS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2018, 01:02 PM   #6
Smellyoldgit
Stinkin' Mod
 
Smellyoldgit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,528
Excuse me while I have a little weep.

Quote:
Pope Francis: The Church Is “Hemorrhaging” Priests; “God Only Knows” Our Future.

Oh no. The horror. The future of the Catholic Church is in peril because, Pope Francis says, fewer people feel the need to become priests and nuns.

The pope is reportedly concerned about the “hemorrhaging” of nuns and priests, especially throughout Europe, where the number of priests has dropped by 2,502 since 2014, leading to a “crisis of vocations” in the region.

How many seminaries, churches, monasteries and convents will be closed in the next few years?” he asked. “God only knows.”

Also, is there really a shortage of priests? You don’t need the supply when there’s less demand. The pope may want more priests, but the bottom line is that he really wants more believers. In most of the developed world, Catholicism has been in rapid decline over the past several decades.
Ahh ..... I feel so much better after a good sob.

Stop the Holy See men!
Smellyoldgit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2018, 02:11 PM   #7
Kinich Ahau
Obsessed Member
 
Kinich Ahau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Great Ocean Road
Posts: 2,899
Yeah, but they aren't christian anyway. JJ

Once you are dead, you are nothing. Graffito, Pompeii
Kinich Ahau is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2018, 02:46 PM   #8
dogpet
Obsessed Member
 
dogpet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Mongrel Nation
Posts: 4,825
Donno why anyone would want to help the poop, but there may be a solution.


Advertise for liars with acceptable sex behaviours, & encourage them to take partners seems obvious. Then with the no contraception thing they can increase congregations as well. Win-win!

thank goodness he's on our side
dogpet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2018, 02:56 PM   #9
Smellyoldgit
Stinkin' Mod
 
Smellyoldgit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,528
They could set up a mating agency - pair off current priests & nuns to stock up the fold.
They could call it "All for nun and nun for all"

.... or "Bad Habits"
.... or ...............?

Shit - should have been a Top Ten list dammit!

Stop the Holy See men!
Smellyoldgit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2018, 03:05 PM   #10
dogpet
Obsessed Member
 
dogpet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Mongrel Nation
Posts: 4,825
If only they had funds to support all the resulting brats.

thank goodness he's on our side
dogpet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2018, 02:20 PM   #11
dogpet
Obsessed Member
 
dogpet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Mongrel Nation
Posts: 4,825
Maybe the ghost could lend a,, I was going to say hand but... Maybe the ghost could help out by impregnating some old virgins, but they'd only smufficate them & bury them in unmarked graves.

thank goodness he's on our side
dogpet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2018, 03:19 PM   #12
Smellyoldgit
Stinkin' Mod
 
Smellyoldgit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,528
NILF


Stop the Holy See men!
Smellyoldgit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2018, 10:48 PM   #13
Kinich Ahau
Obsessed Member
 
Kinich Ahau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Great Ocean Road
Posts: 2,899
Do you notice that not many nuns are doing porn these days. In the seventies and eighties there were lots of nuns doing porn.

Once you are dead, you are nothing. Graffito, Pompeii
Kinich Ahau is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2018, 07:25 AM   #14
Smellyoldgit
Stinkin' Mod
 
Smellyoldgit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,528
They don't even have a section on PornHub - most disappointing.

Stop the Holy See men!
Smellyoldgit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2018, 11:43 AM   #15
clambake
shred
 
clambake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Allentown Pennsylvania USA
Posts: 1,030
Quote:
Smellyoldgit wrote View Post
NILF
I can't believe Kate let you post her picture!

"Ignorance is not bliss; it is terrifying like walking blindfolded down a dark hallway full of set bear traps." ~ Sternwallow

Death will be like 1964 all over again.
clambake is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:32 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin - Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2000 - , Raving Atheists [dot] com frequency-supranational frequency-supranational