Why Satan is More Powerful Than God

gmjackson · 10-22-2010, 01:23 PM

The Bible is definitely not a book an atheist like myself would choose to take literally. If taken metaphorically, it could potentially teach lessons and morals like a collection of fairy tales.

But there are those who take it literally--like the "Children of the Corn." There is some passage in the Bible that says, "The children shall rise up and kill their parents," or words to that effect. Yikes!

If I were to take the Bible literally, I would be forced to conclude that evil is greater than good--that Satan is more powerful than God (or at least God lets Satan win).

First, one has to wonder why God created Satan or evil to begin with, since he seems so adamantly opposed to evil. One answer I receive time and time again is, "God wants us to choose (between good and evil I assume)."

OK, but if I was God's PR manager, I would strongly advise him to make the choice between two goods. That way, no matter what choice we make, it will always be the right one. No one burns in hell; God's blood pressure stays low; everybody parties in Heaven--a win/win situation for everyone!
But NO...................

God has to work in mysterious ways! Whatever!
First he creates this dude named Satan--a fallen angel. Later, God creates Adam and Eve. God makes his pitch: "Don't eat the forbidden fruit or you will surely die (or words to that effect)."

However, Satan, being more persuasive and more powerful than God, surreptitiously transforms himself into a talking-snake hand-puppet and makes his pitch to Eve, and basically wins both Adam and Eve over to his way of thinking.

Satan--1, God--O.

At this point, God is really pissed! Or he's just faking it if you believe he planned everything. He kicks Adam and Eve out of Eden and makes Eve and all women suffer at child birth. Yikes!

Now, again, if I was God's PR manager, I would strongly advise him to take at least some of the responsibility for what happened and give poor Adam and Eve and their progeny a break. After all, they did not ask to be created, nor did they ask to be sinners, nor did they ask God to create evil or Satan or temptation or the forbidden fruit.

If God is really all-powerful and all-knowing, then God is really the guilty party here. Adam, Eve and the serpent were just his Barbie dolls.
Sometime after the Eden fiasco, evil spreads throughout the world big time!

Satan--2, God--0.

God then floods the Earth, wiping out all life except for Noah, his family and several pairs of animals--(two of every kind, including two termites that would have multiplied and consumed the Ark).

Unfortunately, God's plan didn't work. Evil still flourished long after Noah landed his Ark in the Himalayas.

Satan--3, God--0.

For some reason only known to God, God only revealed himself to the Israelites, and allowed Satan and his demons to trick the rest of the human race into believing a slew of pagan cults and false gods. Such an act by God is analogous to a football player scoring a touchdown at the other team's goal.

Satan--4, God--0.

At this point in time, God was clearly behind on points. He needed to give Satan a knockout punch! So what did he do? He committed adultery with Mary. She was married to Joseph. He could have chose a single virgin, but NO........

Satan--5, God--0.

Amazingly, God allowed himself to be tempted into committing adultery! What a break for Satan! As you know, God did this to create his son Jesus. According to the prophesy, the messiah was to appear and wipe out evil for all times (or words to that effect). Unfortunately, Jesus failed and was crucified.

Satan--6, God--0.

However, a new draft pick, Saint Paul, picked up the cross and ran with it! The Christians cheered in the stands! Jesus really came to Earth to die for our sins and will come a second time to finish what he started.

Satan--6, God--1.

2000 years later, most of the people on Earth are not Christians or Jews. Their souls belong to Satan (so we are told).

Satan--7, God--1.

According to the book of Revelation, less than 200,000 of God's worshipers will be saved. That means, out of the billions of souls that have lived on Earth, Satan will be getting the lion share to torture and torment. However, God will bind Satan for a thousand years, so the final score shall be:

Satan--8, God--2.

West491 · 10-22-2010, 04:06 PM

God...is god

Satan--8, God--2,349,879,734,228,974,987,283.

Sternwallow · 10-22-2010, 08:05 PM

Quote:

West491 wrote

God...is god

Satan--8, God--2,349,879,734,228,974,987,283.

Correction:
God -- 2 + 144,000 = 144,002
Satan -- 8 + (All who ever lived) - 144,000 =
(All who ever lived) - 143,992

In fact, since God fails to be All Powerful, Satan wins the whole contest with the first sin committed and soul lost.

God also fails to be All Powerful when He has to muster all of His forces to fight a great battle at Armageddon. If God were really powerful, He could defeat Satan without so much as breaking a fingernail.

I, myself, have great power over God. I can sin and blaspheme as much as I want and God is totally incapable of punishing me for it in the firey torments of Hell. I know this must make Him grumpy and it may be why God treats his beloved children so abominably. I bet He gives an infant terminal Cancer out of spite every time He is reminded that I have Him in a bind.

Sternwallow · 10-22-2010, 08:14 PM

Quote:

gmjackson wrote

...
At this point in time, God was clearly behind on points. He needed to give Satan a knockout punch! So what did he do? He committed adultery with Mary. She was married to Joseph. He could have chose a single virgin, but NO........

Satan--5, God--0.

Amazingly, God allowed himself to be tempted into committing adultery! What a break for Satan! As you know, God did this to create his son Jesus. According to the prophesy, the messiah was to appear and wipe out evil for all times (or words to that effect). Unfortunately, Jesus failed and was crucified.

Satan--6, God--0.
...

A small correction that does not change the scores, Mary was "betrothed", that is affianced, not yet married, to Joseph. So God actually raped (she could not give consent) an unmarried minor virgin. I'm thinking that rape is a bit worse than adultery (even that would have been rape since she could not consent). God might be due a point or two for confessing openly that He is a rapist who thereby gave permission to the clergy who followed Him, to rape as they see (un)fit.

ghoulslime · 10-22-2010, 08:41 PM

In addition to all of these astute points, God is also rumored to have poor bladder control.

West491 · 10-22-2010, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Sternwallow wrote

Correction:
God -- 2 + 144,000 = 144,002
Satan -- 8 + (All who ever lived) - 144,000 =
(All who ever lived) - 143,992

Where'd you get " + 144,000"

Tenspace · 10-23-2010, 12:14 AM

Quote:

West491 wrote

Where'd you get " + 144,000"

Likely the Twelve Tribes of Israel.

What, you didn't know that only 144,000 souls get into heaven?

Sternwallow · 10-23-2010, 06:20 AM

Quote:

West491 wrote

Where'd you get " + 144,000"

144,000 is the exact total number of people that the Bible says will reach Heaven. It is very specific and clear. Elsewhere, in Revelation, I think, it says that fully three quarters of all people will fail to be saved. I took the more explicit number to use in the calculation.

West491 · 10-23-2010, 06:44 AM

Ok. I had an idea thats what the number represented, but I didn't know the exact number.

ILOVEJESUS · 10-23-2010, 06:52 AM

God is like Gravity it seems. A very important force on a large scale, yet very easy to defeat.

psychodiva · 10-23-2010, 08:07 AM

anyone else thinking to themselves
neither one exists so what does it matter?

ghoulslime · 10-23-2010, 09:03 AM

Quote:

West491 wrote

Where'd you get " + 144,000"

Jesus H Leprechauns! Read your fucking Babble!

ghoulslime · 10-23-2010, 09:04 AM

Quote:

psychodiva wrote

anyone else thinking to themselves
neither one exists so what does it matter?

Yeah, it's like the arguments little boys have over shit like who would win in a Superman -VS- Batman fight.

Sternwallow · 10-23-2010, 09:44 AM

Quote:

psychodiva wrote

anyone else thinking to themselves
neither one exists so what does it matter?

It matters to people who think it matters and their loony behaviors too frequently matter to me.

Sternwallow · 10-23-2010, 09:46 AM

Quote:

ghoulslime wrote

Yeah, it's like the arguments little boys have over shit like who would win in a Superman -VS- Batman fight.

Right, there's no debate there at all. Of Course Kirk would win!