06-01-2014, 01:58 AM
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#1441
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New Freaking Zealand
Posts: 717
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
...and, who and / or what do you jack off mostly?
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obviously my own prick and the occasional sheep in honour of jerry
I hear Bovina gives incredibly good blowjobs. What do you think Choobus?
anyone who can swallow the catholic turdology with such enthusiasm must have practically no gag reflex
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06-01-2014, 04:00 AM
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#1442
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,158
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Quote:
ghoulslime wrote
All over your palms?
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A theist is just an atheist with a space in it.
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06-01-2014, 07:03 AM
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#1443
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,395
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I nearly got arrested for masturbating. (Our local Police are, as the saying goes, a little short of a full deck.) It was a hot sultry summer day, not a breath of wind, and I had a little woodworking project to finish, sanding some small pieces for kite string winders. There I was in the garage, sweating away, the dust stickng to my skin, when I thought of the Park, down by the Lake. It had a small section on a high bluff, grassy, with shade trees, and always a cool breeze off the Lake. So I packed up my wood bits and sandpaper, and was soon sitting crosslegged in the shade sanding away in comfort, my back to the only adjacent house.
I happened to glance up and see a phalanx of grim faced police making a beeline FOR ME! WTF! When they got closer, they suddenly seemed to lose interest - some of them strolling to the fence and pretending to be interested in the view of the Lake, and a couple just gazing skyward, hands in pocket, and whistling nonchalantly. Then they slithered off, like roaches when you turn on the lights.
Then I remembered. The local rag had recently reported someone being arrested for masturbating in a car on the Park parking lot. I guess a resident in the adjacent house had observed me sitting there, my arm rapidly moving in the area of my crotch, and called the cops! Oh to have had a video camera! By then, I was laughing so much, I could hardly finish my sanding.
All the crime going on, never mind the mayhem on the Highways, and these idiots send a dozen cops to apprehend a masturbator! We really do live in an insane asylum.
Use foolproof airtight logic on a mind that's closed and you're dead. - William J. Reilly, Opening Closed Minds
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06-01-2014, 11:40 AM
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#1444
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Great Ocean Road
Posts: 2,917
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Sanding!? Great excuse.
Once you are dead, you are nothing. Graffito, Pompeii
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06-03-2014, 08:06 PM
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#1445
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,362
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Quote:
Sinfidel wrote
I nearly got arrested for masturbating. (Our local Police are, as the saying goes, a little short of a full deck.) It was a hot sultry summer day, not a breath of wind, and I had a little woodworking project to finish, sanding some small pieces for kite string winders. There I was in the garage, sweating away, the dust stickng to my skin, when I thought of the Park, down by the Lake. It had a small section on a high bluff, grassy, with shade trees, and always a cool breeze off the Lake. So I packed up my wood bits and sandpaper, and was soon sitting crosslegged in the shade sanding away in comfort, my back to the only adjacent house.
I happened to glance up and see a phalanx of grim faced police making a beeline FOR ME! WTF! When they got closer, they suddenly seemed to lose interest - some of them strolling to the fence and pretending to be interested in the view of the Lake, and a couple just gazing skyward, hands in pocket, and whistling nonchalantly. Then they slithered off, like roaches when you turn on the lights.
Then I remembered. The local rag had recently reported someone being arrested for masturbating in a car on the Park parking lot. I guess a resident in the adjacent house had observed me sitting there, my arm rapidly moving in the area of my crotch, and called the cops! Oh to have had a video camera! By then, I was laughing so much, I could hardly finish my sanding.
All the crime going on, never mind the mayhem on the Highways, and these idiots send a dozen cops to apprehend a masturbator! We really do live in an insane asylum.
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Yea, the fuckers got me for the big PU (Public urination) and I said fuck you and wacked off right in front of the pig. Got a fine
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06-03-2014, 10:30 PM
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#1446
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
JerryJohn wrote
Yea, the fuckers got me for the big PU (Public urination) and I said fuck you and wacked off right in front of the pig. Got a fine
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Got a fine what? Ejaculation?
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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06-04-2014, 03:30 AM
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#1447
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,362
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Fine for pissin in public, fifty bucks. Fuckers.
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06-04-2014, 06:29 AM
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#1448
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Great Ocean Road
Posts: 2,917
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Jerry?John are you a fan of the of the imbecilic ewe fucker or just a funny bugger?
Once you are dead, you are nothing. Graffito, Pompeii
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06-04-2014, 07:01 AM
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#1449
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,362
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I reckon I is just a funny fucker bugger.
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09-23-2014, 05:33 PM
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#1450
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New Member!
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 18
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Quote:
Tib wrote
if masturbation is wrong I dont wanta be right??
anyway I dont remember seeing a scripture that says its wrong and it cant be no more wrong that taking a dump unless when taking a dump you read porn then yea its lustful. ha!
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I'm too lazy to google the exact scripture but theres a place in the bible where god strikes down a man for "spilling his seed" on the ground. Maybe if your a christian you are allowed to jack off but you just gotta save your cum in a jar so it doesn't touch the ground, so next time you go to your christian friends house think twice before you eat that "cake icing"
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09-30-2014, 07:39 AM
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#1451
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Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,616
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The ol' timers here may be pleased to hear that Choobus is still alive and knocking 'em out. He had a magnificent wank on Kate's facebook page last night, and I think Slimer may have tossed in a couple of handfuls for good measure. Of course, I was appalled at such ungentlemanly behaviour ..... - they didn't even bring their own kleenex!
Stop the Holy See men!
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09-30-2014, 08:25 AM
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#1452
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Great Ocean Road
Posts: 2,917
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Aye! Good news.
Kate's facebook, is that where all the action is these days?
Once you are dead, you are nothing. Graffito, Pompeii
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09-30-2014, 10:17 AM
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#1453
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Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,616
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I heard it's where a few wankers hang out.
Stop the Holy See men!
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09-30-2014, 05:44 PM
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#1454
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
Smellyoldgit wrote
The ol' timers here may be pleased to hear that Choobus is still alive and knocking 'em out. He had a magnificent wank on Kate's facebook page last night, and I think Slimer may have tossed in a couple of handfuls for good measure. Of course, I was appalled at such ungentlemanly behaviour ..... - they didn't even bring their own kleenex!
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I am please to say that I gave him a nice virtual reach around. It is nice to know that he is still pulling strong!
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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09-30-2014, 05:46 PM
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#1455
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
Kinich Ahau wrote
Aye! Good news.
Kate's facebook, is that where all the action is these days?
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It would appear that FB killed a lot of Internet forums. As far as the action goes, Kate IS the action. She just displays it on FB.
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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