who jacks off the most?

[Node18]

ghoulslime wrote

...and, who and / or what do you jack off mostly?

obviously my own prick and the occasional sheep in honour of jerry

[ILOVEJESUS]

ghoulslime wrote

All over your palms?

[Sinfidel]

I nearly got arrested for masturbating. (Our local Police are, as the saying goes, a little short of a full deck.) It was a hot sultry summer day, not a breath of wind, and I had a little woodworking project to finish, sanding some small pieces for kite string winders. There I was in the garage, sweating away, the dust stickng to my skin, when I thought of the Park, down by the Lake. It had a small section on a high bluff, grassy, with shade trees, and always a cool breeze off the Lake. So I packed up my wood bits and sandpaper, and was soon sitting crosslegged in the shade sanding away in comfort, my back to the only adjacent house.
I happened to glance up and see a phalanx of grim faced police making a beeline FOR ME! WTF! When they got closer, they suddenly seemed to lose interest - some of them strolling to the fence and pretending to be interested in the view of the Lake, and a couple just gazing skyward, hands in pocket, and whistling nonchalantly. Then they slithered off, like roaches when you turn on the lights.
Then I remembered. The local rag had recently reported someone being arrested for masturbating in a car on the Park parking lot. I guess a resident in the adjacent house had observed me sitting there, my arm rapidly moving in the area of my crotch, and called the cops! Oh to have had a video camera! By then, I was laughing so much, I could hardly finish my sanding.
All the crime going on, never mind the mayhem on the Highways, and these idiots send a dozen cops to apprehend a masturbator! We really do live in an insane asylum.

[Kinich Ahau]

Sanding!? Great excuse.

[JerryJohn]

Sinfidel wrote

I nearly got arrested for masturbating. (Our local Police are, as the saying goes, a little short of a full deck.) It was a hot sultry summer day, not a breath of wind, and I had a little woodworking project to finish, sanding some small pieces for kite string winders. There I was in the garage, sweating away, the dust stickng to my skin, when I thought of the Park, down by the Lake. It had a small section on a high bluff, grassy, with shade trees, and always a cool breeze off the Lake. So I packed up my wood bits and sandpaper, and was soon sitting crosslegged in the shade sanding away in comfort, my back to the only adjacent house.
I happened to glance up and see a phalanx of grim faced police making a beeline FOR ME! WTF! When they got closer, they suddenly seemed to lose interest - some of them strolling to the fence and pretending to be interested in the view of the Lake, and a couple just gazing skyward, hands in pocket, and whistling nonchalantly. Then they slithered off, like roaches when you turn on the lights.
Then I remembered. The local rag had recently reported someone being arrested for masturbating in a car on the Park parking lot. I guess a resident in the adjacent house had observed me sitting there, my arm rapidly moving in the area of my crotch, and called the cops! Oh to have had a video camera! By then, I was laughing so much, I could hardly finish my sanding.
All the crime going on, never mind the mayhem on the Highways, and these idiots send a dozen cops to apprehend a masturbator! We really do live in an insane asylum.

Yea, the fuckers got me for the big PU (Public urination) and I said fuck you and wacked off right in front of the pig. Got a fine

[ghoulslime]

JerryJohn wrote

Yea, the fuckers got me for the big PU (Public urination) and I said fuck you and wacked off right in front of the pig. Got a fine

Got a fine what? Ejaculation?

[JerryJohn]

Fine for pissin in public, fifty bucks. Fuckers.

[Kinich Ahau]

Jerry?John are you a fan of the of the imbecilic ewe fucker or just a funny bugger?

[JerryJohn]

I reckon I is just a funny fucker bugger.

[Mage]

Tib wrote

if masturbation is wrong I dont wanta be right??


anyway I dont remember seeing a scripture that says its wrong and it cant be no more wrong that taking a dump unless when taking a dump you read porn then yea its lustful. ha!

I'm too lazy to google the exact scripture but theres a place in the bible where god strikes down a man for "spilling his seed" on the ground. Maybe if your a christian you are allowed to jack off but you just gotta save your cum in a jar so it doesn't touch the ground, so next time you go to your christian friends house think twice before you eat that "cake icing"

[Smellyoldgit]

The ol' timers here may be pleased to hear that Choobus is still alive and knocking 'em out. He had a magnificent wank on Kate's facebook page last night, and I think Slimer may have tossed in a couple of handfuls for good measure. Of course, I was appalled at such ungentlemanly behaviour ..... - they didn't even bring their own kleenex!

[Kinich Ahau]

Aye! Good news.

Kate's facebook, is that where all the action is these days?

[Smellyoldgit]

I heard it's where a few wankers hang out.

[ghoulslime]

Smellyoldgit wrote

The ol' timers here may be pleased to hear that Choobus is still alive and knocking 'em out. He had a magnificent wank on Kate's facebook page last night, and I think Slimer may have tossed in a couple of handfuls for good measure. Of course, I was appalled at such ungentlemanly behaviour ..... - they didn't even bring their own kleenex!

I am please to say that I gave him a nice virtual reach around. It is nice to know that he is still pulling strong!

[ghoulslime]

Kinich Ahau wrote

Aye! Good news.

Kate's facebook, is that where all the action is these days?

It would appear that FB killed a lot of Internet forums. As far as the action goes, Kate IS the action. She just displays it on FB.