View Poll Results: Should I teach my kids to believe in Santa?
No (And don't give them presents) 1 2.27%
No (They still get presents) 19 43.18%
Yes 14 31.82%
You should drown your children to stop them polluting the gene pool 10 22.73%
Voters: 44. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-26-2011, 02:23 PM   #241
nkb
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Quote:
Noodle wrote View Post
Regarding where babies come from, a few years ago, my mom told my nephew, "babies come out of the mom like poop." He was probably 6 or 7 at the time and surprisingly he seemed satisfied with this answer.
That reminds me of a story:

Little Johnny is 6 years old, and he is curious about where he came from, so he goes to ask his father:
"Daddy, where did I come from?"
Daddy says "Go ask your mother."

So Johnny goes to find his mother, who is just getting done with her bath. He asks her, "Mommy, where did I come from?"
His mother, trying not to raise him to be uptight about human sexuality, opens her robe, spreads her legs, points to her vagina, and says "From right there."
Johnny looks very closely, and a smile slowly spreads on his face. He screams out "Woohoo!" and goes running off to tell his friends.

Johnny is happily skipping along the street, singing "I'm a lucky boy, I'm a lucky boy!"

One of the adults in the neighborhood stops him and asks him why he is so lucky.

Johnny holds up his thumb and finger about an inch apart, and says, "Because I came this close to being a turd!"

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
George Bernard Shaw
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Old 11-29-2019, 10:54 AM   #242
Noodle
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I've been thinking about his a lot with my babe. I'm thinking we'll read stories about Santa and watch movies and put the stuff under the tree at night and let him believe. If he asks, I might deflect a little, but if he insists on straight answers, I'm not gonna lie.

Just like my flaky tooth fairy, I figured Santa out because he came at weird times. Once in the evening while my sister and I were in the bath and then once my brothers took us to the store that evening and when we got come, Santa had come. I figured out my mom didn't want to stay up late to do Santa.

My sister has four kids and her "Santa" uses a completely different wrapping paper that the kids have never seen before. (Once grandma had "Santa paper" and one of the kids noticed and my sister was like .) The family gifts have gift tags, but "Santa" writes the kids names right on the paper in block letters with a sharpie. She really makes an effort to make it look like they came from someone else. I don't think I'll wrap Santa gifts at all.
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Old 12-01-2019, 09:07 AM   #243
hertz vanrental
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There's enough lies told in this world (god and zombie boy jebus etc.) without adding to it through a fat twat in a red suit.

If a child is sufficiently mature to ask if the fat man in the red suite really exists, then the child is sufficiently mature to accept that the answer is 'NO'. Most likely, if the child is asking the question anyway, then they probably already suspect that he isn't real.

Do I sound like a fuckin' people person?
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