In certain situations, how do you conduct yourself as an Atheist?

[MyFootsZZZ]

I was talking to a woman who lost her sister at a young age, and she insisted that she would see her again in heaven. This is a young lady that I was pondering dating. She knew I was an atheist and didn't seem to let it bother her, but her faith in god made me hesitate meeting her in real life, (we had only met online). It's not that I didn't want to meet someone who had faith. It's just that any person of faith that I would date I would, at some point, try to challenge them... but I didn't want to challenge her because I didn't want to try stepping on her dream of meeting up with her sister again. I didn't meet her, but it left me thinking, what's my place as an atheist?

Should I be as 'vocal' about it as I see some believers are? Should I risk my friendships with people, and post shit on Facebook that say stuff like; "Religion is like history class, without the facts"? Should I slap a Darwin Fish on my car?

Part of me wants to. But I'm afraid of alienating some of my friends on Facebook, and worried a Darwin Fish on my car could lead to someone scratching it.

What do you guys and girls do, if anything? Do any of you feel like you have to be 'sensitive' to others? If we are met with hostility about our lack of beliefs, should we be hostel back? Or kill people with kindness?

[Stargazer]

That's a tough one. My opinion: You'd be better off with a woman who is an atheist. Just saying.

[ILOVEJESUS]

Let people believe whatever shit they want, as long as they keep it to themselves. The moment it starts appearing in schools, or hindering peoples daily lives, then you have a problem. Oh wait...that is religion. Er pick fights you can win, and always listen to your penis over your brain. Your cock didn't evolve with a higher IQ for no reason after all.

[Michael]

Do what you're comfortable with.
If you want to be the vocal atheist who corrects every bit of religious sentiment, you will lose friends. If you're not prepared to have that happen, don't do it.
However, if you can't stand having to always bite your tongue every time someone says something about religion, find more atheist friends.

[PanAtheist]

Hi Scott.

It really is up to you.
There is no rulebook, and there is no guide book, and it is your life, to do as *you* please! (And that's one of the huge joys of being freethinking!)

As for me, I don't find dating a theist an attractive proposition at all!
I find the notion laughable!

And as to worrying about a theist's "sensitivities", I am wondering why your own valid concerns are not of overriding importance to you. Surely you want to be going with a freethinking woman, who can fully share your fun at living in a wild wild world!

You can be as vocal or not as you want to be about what you think about anything. But if you are open about views, are you not more likely to be happy and find other people who share your freethinking ways? (But you wouldn't be asking if there weren't local circumstances which advise discretion, and only you are in the place to make a decision fit for you).

As to Facebook - I don't give a flying fuck about anybody losing "friends on Facebook". Seriously, wtf?

We're probably not going to achieve everything we want in life, or get everything we we want in any particular situation, and I find it helps to be honest with myself about what my priorities are generally.

I notice you ask some questions with the "should" word. "Should" is a loaded word don't you think? It begs the question as to what is your aim and priority. That's a question for you to ask yourself I think. Repeatedly.

Advice on the internet is kind of silly. It's your life, and it's your environment.

What's more, I am skeptical about the notion of "freewill". I get excited by finding out what I am motivated to do next!

Life is a gamble, and I think we are all one of the dice!
Enjoy the ride!

[Smellyoldgit]

MyFootsZZZ wrote

Do any of you feel like you have to be 'sensitive' to others?

No, I come with warts and an occasional foul mouth.
If friends can't put up with that, why the fuck should I put up with their brand of bullshit?
If they keep the crap to themselves, I won't call them arseholes.

[Sinfidel]

Have engaged in debate/arguments about religion with family, co-workers, and on BBS and Web Forums.
It's not at all productive, at least as far as conversions go. As the Scottish philosopher said, reason didn't put it into their heads, and you can't reason it out of them.
But there are those on both side of the fence who are driven to preach, and hey, I want to exercise my right of free speech too.
There's a whole universe of beliefs out there - why limit yourself to socializing with only the like-minded.
Plenty of relationships and friendships work just fine between those with opposing beliefs - it depends how fanatical you are and how open minded the other person is. Getting to know someone will usually clue you in on what the limits are.
Some profess belief, but it just isn't a big part of their lives, others are avid church goers but the spouse isn't.
Tread carefully - as the saying goes, there's no faster way to lose friends and make enemies than by discussing religion and politics.
When I encounter those who wear their beliefs on their sleeve and talk excitedly of meeting grandma in the hereafter, my eyes glaze over, and I slooooowly back away......

[nkb]

I think it all comes down to the degree that someone believes in the bullshit.

If this girl just likes to keep the dream alive that someone is watching over her, and she gets to see her loved ones in some sort of afterlife, so what? How would that affect you?

Now, if she takes religion more seriously, attends church regularly, believes that everyone who isn't a Christian is going to hell, allows the idea of God to control her life, and proselytizes, then I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole, because future conflict is assured.

If it helps any, I am married to a non-practicing Catholic. She has a vague belief that there is a god, and that there is an afterlife, but she rejects most of the religious crap. If there is a heaven, she believes that I will make it in, since admission would be based on being a good person, not simply belonging to the right cult.

She knew what she was getting into when we got serious, and when we got married. We have a standing agreement that we don't discuss her beliefs, or my lack thereof. It's worked quite well, as we're going on 11 years of marriage, and almost 20 years of being together.

To make a long story short, I agree with what some of the people here are saying: it's your call on what you want from a relationship, and how much it bothers you that your partner doesn't hold the same viewpoints as you.

If I had summarily disqualified my wife based on her religious views some 20 years ago, I would have missed out on getting to spend my life with an intelligent and kind person, a loving wife, and an outstanding mother.

[psychodiva]

Ditto what Smelly said- but then we Brits who are foul-mouthed bullshit detectors are pretty much free to say we are and post whatever the fuck we want on FB- if people don't like it they can fuck off and unlike the USA and many other countries our employment tends not to be determined by our attendance at a 'church'

So it depends on where you are and what the reaction would be- if you are in somewhere like Saudi or Alabama then I'd watch what you post on FB.