12-11-2014, 08:55 AM
|
#391
|
Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
|
"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 09:00 AM
|
#392
|
Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,616
|
Hands up those who've missed the Katemeister?
Stop the Holy See men!
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 09:00 AM
|
#393
|
Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,616
|
Stop the Holy See men!
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 09:09 AM
|
#394
|
Obsessed Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: One the armpits of the U.S. of A.
Posts: 2,856
|
Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 09:31 AM
|
#395
|
Thank God I’m an atheist
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Little Britain
Posts: 1,076
|
You said hands up, you didn't say up where.
"Belief means not wanting to know what is true"
Friedrich Nietzsche
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 09:40 AM
|
#396
|
Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
|
"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 12:17 PM
|
#397
|
Thank God I’m an atheist
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Little Britain
Posts: 1,076
|
Some fisting followed by Kate's beaver. Does the internet get any better?
"Belief means not wanting to know what is true"
Friedrich Nietzsche
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 12:20 PM
|
#398
|
Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
|
You otter look at that again, Eternal
"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 12:37 PM
|
#399
|
Thank God I’m an atheist
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Little Britain
Posts: 1,076
|
Quote:
Kate wrote
You otter look at that again, Eternal
|
Sorry! What can I say, I'm a city boy. Besides, it loses all comical potential if it's an otter, so I will cling to my ignorance and maintain that unless you can produce a birth certificate, it's a Beaver
"Belief means not wanting to know what is true"
Friedrich Nietzsche
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 01:14 PM
|
#400
|
Obsessed Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Mongrel Nation
Posts: 4,839
|
thank goodness he's on our side
|
|
|
12-11-2014, 03:07 PM
|
#401
|
Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
|
"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
|
|
|
12-21-2014, 03:03 AM
|
#402
|
I Live Here
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 9,613
|
Go On then
Quote:
THE CHAOS
by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité
(Netherlands, 1870-1946)
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
Originally transcribed by Pete Zakel <phz@cadence.com>.
|
My pet hate?- Incorrect pronunciation of pronunciation - those who say 'pronounciation' grate on my nerves.
Another? Pronouncing Canada as if it has an 'I' in it
“'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." Fry
|
|
|
12-21-2014, 03:51 AM
|
#403
|
Obsessed Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,457
|
Quote:
psychodiva wrote
Go On then
My pet hate?- Incorrect pronunciation of pronunciation - those who say 'pronounciation' grate on my nerves.
Another? Pronouncing Canada as if it has an 'I' in it
|
Cinada?
Michael...you are correct
- selliedjoup
|
|
|
12-21-2014, 06:10 AM
|
#404
|
Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Great Ocean Road
Posts: 2,917
|
I feel the same about the i in Australia's pronunciation. Everyone should know its Stralya
Once you are dead, you are nothing. Graffito, Pompeii
|
|
|
12-21-2014, 07:54 PM
|
#405
|
Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,616
|
Proofreading is for pussies.
(Psst, d'ya want me to sneak in that missing apostrophe for ya?!)
Stop the Holy See men!
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:48 PM.
|