sometimes he is wheat coloured

[Michael]

Thought you guys might appreciate this. Someone sensationalising shit to sell a book, but still pretty amusing.

HE healed the sick, walked on water, turned water into wine and, according to a newly-deciphered ancient text, Jesus was also a shapeshifter.
.....

According to van den Broek that kiss, far from a sign of affection or guilt, was Judas's way of preventing any shapeshifting trickery.
The translation reads:
"Then the Jews said to Judas: How shall we arrest him [Jesus], for he does not have a single shape but his appearance changes. Sometimes he is ruddy, sometimes he is white, sometimes he is red, sometimes he is wheat coloured, sometimes he is pallid like ascetics, sometimes he is a youth, sometimes an old man…"
The plot thickens. According to van den Broek, Jesus was not only a shapeshifter. He was also invisible.

http://www.news.com.au/technology/sc...#ixzz2O6l9XCqT

[Davin]

Amazing, I knew he was a sneaky Jew, but that's just cheating.

[lostsheep]

Entertaining, for sure. Zombie, shapeshifting Jeebus: Cool.

[Smellyoldgit]

Michael wrote

.... Someone sensationalising shit to sell a book ....

Isn't that what a bunch of fuckers have been doing for centuries flogging the buybull?

[Michael]

Man, if Jesus had been an invisible, shapeshifting zombie that turned into an eagle I might have actually read the bible when I was younger, instead of animorphs.
Still wouldn't have bought it, though.

[ILOVEJESUS]

Was he in the Justice League or The Avengers??

[dogpet]

No less plausible than anything else on the subject.

[Michael]

I know, right? If you're going to go to crazy extremes and tell a story about implausible people, you may as well give them better super-powers and at least team them up with spider-man or something.

[dogpet]

It's almost like the bable plays it down out of modesty. If that sort of stuff happened nowadays, it would be on the main news every day forever.

[dogpet]

Oh fuck! it is

[ILOVEJESUS]

And it isn't even happening nowadays!!!!