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11-12-2011, 12:20 PM
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#16 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 Well, the grinchy poos are off to a fast start this year, stealing the RA Christmas thread cheer! Some of us atheist Whos here in Ravingville like Christmas a lot. Butt some of the poopy heads here do not!  Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be they get hammered by this shit every season. It could be they are hitting their heads against a wall because they heard Jingle Bells playing one October night. Perhaps their genitalia are two sizes too small. It may be their Hello Kitty underpants are too tight. Whatever the reason, the bells or their balls, they stood there A FUCKING MONTH AND A HALF before Christmas Eve, hating the whole Christmas season! Well, you won't stop my Christmas from coming, you Grinches! I'll give all your jolly red ass cheeks some pinches, and go forth to hang up a mistletoe wreath, with a bona fide reindeer skin boner inside, and a Jesusy Christmassy nativity beneath! Ah, hah! Yes, I will! I'm bringing on Christmas cheer bright and early, you suckers! I'm making a rush for my toys, motherfuckers! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!  I'll blow on your blingal, and fluff up your puffer. I'll bring out my wingle and woozle your winker! I'll wax up my jolly jam jacking jahlinker and stick that Yule cheer right up your main stinker! I'll pump up the jam of the jingle bell season with vibrating dildoish dunghole dalungas. For no special reason! Merry Christmas! Fah who foraze! Dah who doraze! Oh, you've been served!  Well, you grumpy grinches have forced Jesus to come prematurely. I suppose that the only recourse is to wipe our chins, show our grins, and get on with the joy of the season. What would a Raving Atheist Christmas Thread 2011 be without digging out the ghosts of Christmas past? The Ghosts of Christmas Past Raving Atheists Christmas Thread 2010 Raving Atheists Christmas Thread 2009 Merry Xmas Picture Thread 2008 Ghoulslime's Letters from Santa Thread 2005-2008 Should I teach my kids to believe in Santa Thread  May Horus grant us a cheery Christmas thread this year! I pray in the name of the leprechauns! As always, this is a thread devoted to wars on Xmas, interesting details about the true origins of Xmas, favorite Xmas songs, uplifting Xmas stories, photos of your Xmas tree, stupid shit your relatives do for Xmas, stories of your Xmases past, dirty pictures of Santa, pictures making fun of Mithra's little brother Jesus, etc. Your letters to Santa might also be answered if you post them here. The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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11-12-2011, 12:39 PM
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#17 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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 The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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11-12-2011, 12:51 PM
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#18 |
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Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
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I actually know that song
 "I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death." Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle. |
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11-12-2011, 01:01 PM
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#19 | |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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11-12-2011, 04:33 PM
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#20 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 23,211
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Here is a Christmassy tidbit you all might not know.
The berries traditionally woven into a Holly wreath are usually in pairs to symbolize fertile healthy testicles.   Here's another - The bark, like a fur coat, is left on the Yule log so that, while it is stored outside the inner wood will not lose the heat we want to release indoors when it is eventually burned.   "Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it." "Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H. "Reality, the God alternative" |
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11-12-2011, 04:35 PM
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#21 |
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Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
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You so did not just channel Cal.
 "I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death." Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle. |
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11-12-2011, 04:35 PM
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#22 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,158
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May the Lord Christmas Christ bless you all with his love piss!
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11-13-2011, 08:53 AM
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#23 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Happy Birthday Redeemer God!
 He was born on December 25th. A bright star shone to herald his birth. Wise men came to see him. His mother was a virgin. He was God incarnate, come to save us from death! Horus woke up in a manger, that first Christmas morning, looked around, and asked with a voice of angels, "Did Santa come yet?"  Well, we all know that Horus/Jesus/Mithra is just a fictional character like Santa. And most of us know what a bloody mess the Christians have made of our world for nearly 2000 years. However, Christmas is a lovely time of year. It is the best holiday ever, and I am happy to hang my jingle bells high and warm my chestnuts by the Yule fire!  The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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11-13-2011, 09:00 AM
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#24 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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11-13-2011, 09:41 AM
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#25 |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,158
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cool
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11-13-2011, 10:08 AM
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#26 |
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Organ Donator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Beastly Muck
Posts: 13,136
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 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ La propriété, c'est le vol ... |
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11-13-2011, 10:21 AM
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#27 |
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Organ Donator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Beastly Muck
Posts: 13,136
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 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ La propriété, c'est le vol ... |
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11-13-2011, 10:56 AM
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#28 |
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Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
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Ah! Somebody is enjoying their Meat Jesus!
 "I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death." Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle. |
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11-13-2011, 02:23 PM
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#29 | |
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I Live Here
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20,925
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Quote:
 Three days later, he dropped a big, corn-eyed, butt snake, and voilÃ* - the advent of holy shit!  The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator |
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11-13-2011, 03:19 PM
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#30 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 832
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