Sticking it to Theists

[Philboid Studge]

This follows up on LEToxin's post here.

We have many threads keeping track of all the God-blubbering douchebaggery that surrounds us -- Shitlord, Cuntwatch, fucking Islamist Misogynistic Bastards, Galactically Stoopid Theist Quotes, et cetera et cetera -- and we still can't keep up. I thought we should have one thread to note those times when religidiots get theirs, when the lunatic faithful take one on the chin, in the nuts, or right up the pooper, as the situation warrants.

It is a win-win situation when the religious get abused. We like it because these drooling theotards have had a free ride since jamboree and so have much shit coming to them (frankly, they're lucky to get any attention at all). They like it because nothing moistens their crotch areas more than when they think they are being persecuted. Christers, especially the Merkin species, feel that they among all other religions take a lot of shit from the secular world, and they like it. Must make them feel like Jesus or something. So we oblige them and it's a happy symbiotic relationship all around.

So anyway, this thread should be a suppository for those times when somebody stands up to Big Papa Joey Ratz, as here, which Psychodiva pointed to in another thread, or when the French tried to send a gay ambassador to the Vatican (that would have been fabulous), or any time Catholic League president (and eventual Shitlord) Bill Donohue gets his panties in such a twist that his shartstains go fractal, which is often.

Also: for when stoopid faith-based policies get shot down, when Creationists are sent packing, when a new billboard or bus advert lances a godly boil, when a new Angry Atheist book or film comes out, when a jizzlamic retard gets what's coming to him, and when anything happens to the faithful or their institutions that makes our schadenfreude bone throb in appreciation.

[Jahrta]

Philboid Studge wrote

So anyway, this thread should be a suppository ...

Are you quite certain you didn't mean depository?

Unfortunately, there won't be anywhere near as many examples posted to this thread as we'd both like to see. Our world is hardwired to mollycoddle believers, lest they get their feeling hurt and have to deal with reality. When a theist is turned away or their proposed policy change is denied, we very rarely hear about it. Most papers bury that kind of thing, and usually it would have been a small moral victory at any rate. When a scientist balks about "intelligent design" being taught in schools, or when we want to go forward with the most promising scientific breakthrough of the last 100 years (stem cell research), then the mouth breathers come out in droves to protest, and usually win out in the end because all this bullshit is political and there are roughly 8-9 times more of them than there are of us. Stupidity breeds stupidity, and no one breeds more than christers (full quiver, anyone?)

[nkb]

Jahrta wrote

Are you quite certain you didn't mean depository?

If there's one thing I've learned on this forum over the last couple of years, it's that Philboid doesn't make egregious mistakes like that with the written word, except on purpose.

For some reason, saying "suppository" instead of "depository" is funny. I always refer to the "Texas Book Suppository" when discussing the Kennedy assassination *.

* living in Dallas, it actually does come up in conversation every once in a while

[ubs]

I always end up feeling sorry for them. Like poor Ted Haggard, selling insurance and telling everyone how sorry he is for his sinful past. How long 'til his next meltdown, do you think?

[nkb]

Well, this is kind of a slap in all the fundies' faces, and a counter to Rick Warren, the openly anti-gay minister:
Obama picks openly gay bishop to deliver invocation.

Does this count?

[Tenspace]

nkb wrote

Well, this is kind of a slap in all the fundies' faces, and a counter to Rick Warren, the openly anti-gay minister:
Obama picks openly gay bishop to deliver invocation.

Does this count?

The comments are priceless.

Lover of God:

When someone who confesses to be a christian and allows an openly gay minister to be part of this event, one must wonder about the his/her faith. No doubt God loves people but He hates sin. One must repent and turn away from sin including homosexuality. As others wrote previously, God hates homosexuality. Bible is very clear on this.

[nkb]

ubs wrote

I always end up feeling sorry for them. Like poor Ted Haggard, selling insurance and telling everyone how sorry he is for his sinful past. How long 'til his next meltdown, do you think?

Did you feel sorry for Jim Bakker, when they reported that he was curled up in the fetal position, and crying, as his empire was crumbling?

I have to admit, I don't feel even a little bit sorry for guys like that. They're assholes who take advantage of others or the system, then break down when they get caught. Fuck them!

[Choobus]

nkb wrote

Fuck them!

Too fucking right. These tossers thrive on hate mongering and then start crying when it all goes wrong. Double fuck them all!

[Philboid Studge]

Jahrta wrote

Are you quite certain you didn't mean depository?

Quite. As was stated, theist head-bumpees need an occasional dose right in the pooper. Whether they want to admit it or not, they do do anal.

(Yes: Quite certain I meant to say 'do do.')

[Philboid Studge]

nkb wrote

Well, this is kind of a slap in all the fundies' faces, and a counter to Rick Warren, the openly anti-gay minister:
Obama picks openly gay bishop to deliver invocation.

Does this count?

Absolutely! Bonus points because this is an example of Christers sticking it to themselves. Kind of like Jesus giving himself a reacharound.

[ubs]

nkb wrote

Did you feel sorry for Jim Bakker, when they reported that he was curled up in the fetal position, and crying, as his empire was crumbling?

Yes, actually. He was once someone's baby.

Choobus wrote

Double fuck them all!

When they go to prison, I'll be the one sending them a shiv inside "The Secret."

[nkb]

ubs wrote

Yes, actually. He was once someone's baby.

So was Hitler, and I would not have felt sorry for him when he was cowering in his bunker, before offing himself.

[ubs]

nkb wrote

So was Hitler, and I would not have felt sorry for him when he was cowering in his bunker, before offing himself.

Dude, go visit the link for a laugh before they take that one down too.

[Sternwallow]

Philboid Studge wrote

Quite. As was stated, theist head-bumpees need an occasional dose right in the pooper. Whether they want to admit it or not, they do do anal.

(Yes: Quite certain I meant to say 'do do.')

You also do due diligence, if I'm not mistaken.

[Tenspace]

:snicker:

You said do due