The Incredible Edible Jesus

[ghoulslime]

lostsheep wrote

I love it!!! Actually, I love a lot of these. Godfellas...LOL....Keep 'em coming Ghoul. This thread helps keep me sane in the wake of the religidiots trying to take over our government.

Nice to hear that you get some giggles out of this. I do too! We may be out numbered by the militantly stupid, but we can still ridicule the fools.

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The Trimurti (Trinity) of Hinduism


Brahma: The Creator




Vishnu: The Sustainer




Shiva: The Destroyer

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CHRISNA – KRISHNA

The mythological history of Chrisna Zeus, Zeus Chrisna, Chrisna, Krishna, or Jeseus is contained principally in the Baghavat Gita, which is a book believed by Hindus to be divinely inspired. Krishna was a super god-man who was alleged to have lived and died around 1200 BCE. He is believed to have come to earth with a mission not to destroy existing religion, but to purify it of its impurities, and to preach a better doctrine. According to his alleged words, he came, "to reject evil and restore the reign of good, and redeem man from the consequences of the fall, and deliver the oppressed earth from its load of sin and suffering." His disciples believed him to be God himself, and millions already worshiped him as such in the time of Alexander the Great, around 330 BCE.



- Krishna was born of a Virgin.
- Krishna was crucified on a cross.
- Krishna descended into Hell.
- Krishna arose from the dead.
- Krishna ascended into Heaven.
- Krishna performed miracles such as:

1. Granting visions.
2. Visual perception over long distance.
3. The multiplication of small quantities of food.
4. Appearing in many places in a spiritual body.
5. Healing of the sick by laying on of hands.
6. Raising of the dead back to life.
7. The destruction of demons and the exorcism of the possessed.

Did you know that baby Lord Krishna barely escaped the edict of the tyrant ruler Cansa, who ordered all the first born sons to be put to death?

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Some of the Precepts Taught by Krishna

• Those who do not control their passions cannot act properly toward others.

• The evils we inflict upon others follow us as our shadows follow our bodies.

• Only the humble are beloved of God.

• Virtue sustains the soul as the muscles sustain the body.

• When the poor man knocks at your door, take him and administer to his wants, for the poor are the chosen of God. (Christ said, "God hath chosen the poor.")

• Let your hand be always open to the unfortunate.

• Look not upon a woman with unchaste desires.

• Avoid envy, covetousness, falsehood, imposture and slander, and sexual desires.

• Above all things, cultivate love for your neighbor.

• When you die you leave your worldly wealth behind you, but your virtues and vices follow you.

• Contemn riches and worldly honor.

• Seek the company of the wicked in order to reform them.

• Do good for its own sake, and expect not your reward for it on earth.

• The soul is immortal, but must be pure and free from all sin and stain before it can return to Him who gave it.

• The soul is inclined to good when it follows the inward light.

• The soul is responsible to God for its actions, who has established rewards and punishments.

• Cultivate that inward knowledge which teaches what is right and wrong.

• Never take delight in another's misfortunes.

• It is better to forgive an injury than to avenge it.

• You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.

• A noble spirit finds a cure for injustice by forgetting it.

• Pardon the offense of others, but not your own.

• What you blame in others do not practice yourself.

• By forgiving an enemy you make many friends.

• Do right from hatred of evil, and not from fear of punishment.

• A wise man corrects his own errors by observing those of others.

• He who rules his temper conquers his greatest enemy.

• The wise man governs his passions, but the fool obeys them.

• Be at war with men's vices, but at peace with their persons.

• There should be no disagreement between your lives and your doctrine.

• Spend every day as though it were the last.

• Lead not one life in public and another in private.

• Anger in trying to torture others punishes itself.

• A disgraceful death is honorable when you die in a good cause.

• By growing familiar with vices, we learn to tolerate them easily.

• We must master our evil propensities, or they will master us.

• He who has conquered his propensities rules over a kingdom.

• Protect, love and assist others, if you would serve God.

• From thought springs the will, and from the will action, true or false, just or unjust.

• As the sandal tree perfumes the axe which fells it, so the good man fragrances on his enemies.

• Spend a portion of each day in pious devotion.

• To love the virtues of others is to brighten your own.

• He who gives to the needy loses nothing himself.

• A good, wise and benevolent man cannot be rich.

• Much riches is a curse to the possessor.

• The wounds of the soul are more important than those of the body.

• The virtuous man is like the banyan tree, which shelters and protects all around it.

• Money does not satisfy the love of gain, but only stimulates it.

• Your greatest enemy is in your own bosom.

• To flee when charged is to confess your guilt.

• The wounds of conscience leave a sear.

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Did you know that Krishna could walk on water?

How divine!

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Can anybody remind me what original teachings Jesus taught us?

Did Jesus have any original magic tricks?

No? Gosh! It almost seems like Jesus was a copycat god-man. Innit?

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