Old 11-29-2011, 01:47 PM   #166
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Christmas is a bit like eating cheese and crackers, lovely.
Well, sort of like that, with more jingling and singing and such.

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Old 11-29-2011, 01:49 PM   #167
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Perhaps not but I would make up for it with volume.
Or higher proof alcohol?

BTW, I hope that you and I get a chance to tip a couple before our lives run out.

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Old 11-29-2011, 01:50 PM   #168
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The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-29-2011, 01:51 PM   #169
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Old 11-29-2011, 04:16 PM   #170
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Getting Ready for Jesus' Birthday!

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-29-2011, 04:35 PM   #171
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Or higher proof alcohol?

BTW, I hope that you and I get a chance to tip a couple before our lives run out.
We atheists always seek stronger proof.

A remarkable coincidence, tipping a couple or nine with you is one of the items in this year's (extortion) letter to Santa.

"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
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Old 11-29-2011, 04:50 PM   #172
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Mr. Slime,

Not to be too personal, but, did you happen to attend the CFI conference in L.A. a while ago*? I did. Possibly we both helped to keep the hotel bar from levitating a few evenings.

* LA, Oct. 7 -10, 2010 @ The Millennium Biltmore Hotel

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Old 11-29-2011, 07:01 PM   #173
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We atheists always seek stronger proof.

A remarkable coincidence, tipping a couple or nine with you is one of the items in this year's (extortion) letter to Santa.
Stronger proof makes for a more profound religious experience for sure!

God will certainly burn us both in hell if we miss the chance to imbibe together in this lifetime.

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-29-2011, 07:03 PM   #174
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Mr. Slime,

Not to be too personal, but, did you happen to attend the CFI conference in L.A. a while ago*? I did. Possibly we both helped to keep the hotel bar from levitating a few evenings.

* LA, Oct. 7 -10, 2010 @ The Millennium Biltmore Hotel
Holy leprechauns, Stern! I can't believe you came to LA and didn't give me a hoot beforehand! Damn! I would happily have gone to the CFI conference had I known you would be around. Swear upon the soles of your mother's shoes that you'll give me a heads up if you ever head this way again!

Actually, I get to your neck of the woods from time to time, but every time thus far, I've been locked down with professional obligations from dawn 'till the wee hours every day. I'd like to grab an extra day one of these days, so I can have a few leisure hours, and hangout with the boys in your neighborhood. There are at least two of our raving satanic minions in that part of the geography from what I understand.

The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-29-2011, 07:04 PM   #175
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The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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Old 11-30-2011, 02:18 AM   #176
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Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 11-30-2011, 02:23 AM   #177
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Stop the Holy See men!
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Old 11-30-2011, 07:14 PM   #178
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Philboid Studge wrote View Post
Dear Santa Claus,

Last year on Kristmas morning we found the word 'Kringle' peed into the snow next to the chimbley. Daddy says you did it, but I think it was Mommy (it was in her handwriting).

My question: where did you find asparagus on the North Pole ?

Love,

Peter Woodcock

Dear Peter,

First let me say sincerely, Peter, there is nothing sweeter than a woodcock, and Santa is here to tell you that he wouldn't mind helping you find your asparagus if you didn't mind sitting on a South Pole from the North Pole. Santa is ready to shake you 'till you've got bowels full of jelly. Ho ho ho!

The answer to the mystery Christmas handwriting is a matter of analyzing font types. Do you happen to recall if the name was spelled in a neat Century, Verdana, or Times New Roman font? If not a Times New Roman font per se, was it at least a rounded and symmetrical style? Precision piss writing is a male-dominated art. Classical urinary calligraphy requires the mastery of a precision writing instrument. Female artists can barely master basic brush strokes for the most rudimentary pixilated pissing. (But Christ child, you should she what those Sheilas in Manila can do with a couple of ping pong balls!) So, I would conclude that it was probably your old man who did the pissing.

I see that you have failed to make a clear request for any Christmas gifts, aside from the piss question, so it looks like you will get piss all for Christmas.

By the way, Christmas is spelled with a "C", you little Communist pinko shit. Spell it with a "K" one more time, and you'll get my jackboot up your arse come Christmas morning.

Love,

~Santa



The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator

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Old 11-30-2011, 07:21 PM   #179
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ILOVEJESUS wrote View Post
Tis almost the beginning of December. I hope i get a Transformer this year. I have been so goodly goody goody.
Dear ILJ,

Santa has seen your good cheer here, and wants to make it clear, you are on the nice list for the year. Your request for a Transformer seems not entirely unreasonable. I wonder if you would be kind enough to transform a bit of the money from your bank account into mine. You see, Santa has blown all of his wad on expensive whiskey and cheap whores all year, and will need some funding if he is expected to blow his wad in the faces of any sleeping children this year.

By the way, great news! A Nigerian prince has left you 37 million dollars for Christmas. I'll let you know where you can wire the international wire transfer charge.

Sincerely,

~Santa


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Old 11-30-2011, 07:28 PM   #180
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The Leprechauns do not forbid the drawing of Their images, as long as we color within the lines. ~ Ghoulslime H Christ, Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and Masturbator
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