Festivus Airing of Grievances

[Philboid Studge]

The two overweight geriatric ladies in front of me on a crowded escalator who step off the thing and then stand there.

Office xmas parties. Yes you're probably going to get laid, but you're going to regret it until at least March.

People who show up at the office sneezing and hacking phlegm. Look at me, I'm a model worker, giving you the opportunity to enjoy my filth.

Automated touch-tone hell, which is to 'customer service' what Hitler was to 'ethnic diversity'

Godwin's Law.

Cab drivers slathered in cologne that smells like kerosene mixed with Hawaiian Punch.

...

[Philboid Studge]

Office Xmas parties that don't even take place in an office. Cheap fucks. The only enjoyable part of an office party is getting drunk and photocopying my arse -- how'm I supposed to do that at my boss's (!) apartment?

Filthy shit-burglars who go leave deadly gas bombs on the elevator.

Crate & Barrel.

Dinner guests who aren't carrying a bottle of wine when they arrive.

Fuckwads who leave a public bathroom shit-n-piss splattered for the next guy.

Ass-bandits who stroll five bodies abreast on busy sidewalks.

[psychodiva]

The arses who stand in doorways and smoke - so you have to walk THROUGH their fucking smoke to get in!!!

The idiots who drive at 40 Mph EVERYWHERE!!!!!!

The idiots who don't know what an indicator is for- or a roundabout!!!!!

That guy in the cinema who is really really tall

The unwashed- who fail to wash and then inflict it on all of us- and the extra smelly ones who decide that wearing too much perfume / aftershave will disguise the body-odour

Parents who think it is cute to take their kids to a nice restaurant and then let them run riot!!!

[Kate]

Sand.

And rocks.

Open sewage puddles.

[nkb]

Politicians who invoke 9/11 heroes in every other sentence of their speeches, then refuse to pass a bill for 9/11 first responders' health care needs, so that they can hook their rich buddies up with a tax break.

[nkb]

Wait staff that comes by your table to tell you your food will be right out, even though they don't have a clue whether that is actually true, because they haven't been back in the kitchen for a while.

[Smellyoldgit]

psychodiva wrote

... the extra smelly ones ....

[psychodiva]

Smellyoldgit wrote

if I remember correctly you do fail to live up to your name

[Smellyoldgit]

Dammit - my cover's blown!

[psychodiva]

Cal


and er


Cal

[nkb]

psychodiva wrote

if I remember correctly you do fail to live up to your name

Just the smelly part, right?

[Choobus]

Back to the grievances...

Space invaders: especially when they stand right behind you in the supermarket like they were trying to start a fucking conga line. Back the fuck up mother fuckers.

also, people with no conception of their surroundings, who shamble around like it was the day of the triffids, wantonly wandering right into the path of people who have shit to do and don't need some vapid mooncalf drifting into their path

[Choobus]

Atomic units. h = c = 1: Sure, it may be handy for you theory bastards, but it's almost impossible to figure out what the fuck your final expressions mean in terms of things I can measure, you shelfish arshemunchers.

[psychodiva]

nkb wrote

Just the smelly part, right?

yeah

[psychodiva]

Choobus wrote

Back to the grievances...

Space invaders: especially when they stand right behind you in the supermarket like they were trying to start a fucking conga line. Back the fuck up mother fuckers.

also, people with no conception of their surroundings, who shamble around like it was the day of the triffids, wantonly wandering right into the path of people who have shit to do and don't need some vapid mooncalf drifting into their path

ditto- specially when combined with the smelly ones