04-15-2010, 04:57 AM
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#1
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,422
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God is shutting down Europe: done UK already
All UK Air Space, and already a sizeable chunk of European Air Space, is closed. There are tens of thousands of pasengers, including many children, sitting in Airports and miserable. Particularly little kids lined up to visit Orlando and Disney World; others - and many are disabled - who wanted to fly to "swim with dolphins" and the rest of it. Who did this? God. This is an "Act of God."
A volcano has erupted in Iceland and the ash damages jet engines. Its last major eruption was a couple of hundred years ago and then it kept spewing ash for two years. This is described as "An Act of God." Now, wouldn't you think that if ever there was a case for testing the efficacy of prayer this would be it? If so the prayers that have been made have not worked and I am struck by the total absence of the God Squad. What have they got to say? Zilch.
We have volcanologists commenting, the Airline Captain whose 747 had all four engines shut down by similar ash, weather experts, agricultural experts about the concerns of this stuff landing, doctors (if you have asthma this stuff messes your lungs up) and many, many others. But despite this being described as "An Act of God" nothing from the god representatives. And, I have to say, no indication of people flooding into the churches to pray.
The effects are spreading over Europe and so far there is no indication that the RC countries, or particularly christian countries will be exempt. What are these christians getting for their money and their efforts? Maybe god doesn't do volcanoes. Or is this one of his special punishments? He might have eased off on the handicapped kids.
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04-15-2010, 05:16 AM
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#2
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Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,616
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It's those damned christain & mooslim bastids - all this praying to the wrong god has really pissed Vulcan off.
Stop the Holy See men!
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04-15-2010, 05:23 AM
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#3
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Organ Donator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Beastly Muck
Posts: 13,136
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We haven't heaved a virgin into lava gina for centuries and Hunab Ku is pissed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
La propriété, c'est le vol ...
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04-15-2010, 05:47 AM
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#4
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,422
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@smelly and Phil. That is it. Why didn't I think of that? They have been praying to the wrong god and now they are getting their come uppance. Heave a couple of virgins, tied to Ratzi and Rowan, down the crater and then they will see the result.
This is the kind of creative, insightful and knowledgeable comment that we get on this site.
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04-15-2010, 06:11 AM
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#5
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: 3rd notch in the bible belt
Posts: 1,342
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Homer Simpson wisely pointed this out years ago:
"And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!"
Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. - Ambrose Bierce
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04-15-2010, 06:43 AM
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#6
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,422
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Quote:
GodlessHeathen wrote
Homer Simpson wisely pointed this out years ago:
"And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!"
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Yup! And now we have pushed it too far and it is kicking ass big time. This was always the problem with Pascal's Wager. In assuming that it was better to worship a god, even if there was none, because even if you got it wrong all you lost was a great deal of waste of time whereas if god did exist and you didn't worship you were headed for an eternity in hell. But which god? Get the wrong one and you just make him madder. And, of course, there are many, many different gods.
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04-15-2010, 10:21 AM
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#7
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Mongrel Nation
Posts: 4,839
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Damn you Vulcan & all other part time deities! We soon embark on a pilgrimage to worship Surya. Where do we find a virgin?
thank goodness he's on our side
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04-15-2010, 11:09 AM
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#8
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I Live Here
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Around the way
Posts: 12,641
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Christians who take this stuff about angry gods seriously are usually certain that they're backing the right entity because, in their minds, their god is the only God in existence.
And this one, true god-- their gpd or the GOD-- is never angry with them. He's always angry at other people, be they black Haitians whose ancestors made an illicit pact with Satan; uppity, baby-killing women who've forgotten their place; fornicating gay folks who won't curb their deviant urges; angry, Satan-possessed atheists who deny God's existence in the face of abundant evidence that he is being itself; disobedient and Satan-influenced Christians (in name only) and, of course, willfully misguided, non-Christian folks, in general.
This one GOD's wrath will reign down upon them all. The righteous may be among the collateral damage, initially. But, they don't mind taking one for Christ. I mean, look at the 36 hours of punishment he took for them, and all of humankind, just to be noticed.
In the end, however, the righteous will be laughing and eating cheesecake from a perch high above the clouds, looking down on all the carnage that their loving God has justifably wrought.
Y'all made him do it. Don't you see?
"So many gods, so many creeds! So many paths that wind and wind, when just the art of being kind is all this sad world needs."
--Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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04-15-2010, 11:56 AM
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#9
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I Live Here
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 23,211
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Quote:
dogpet wrote
Damn you Vulcan & all other part time deities! We soon embark on a pilgrimage to worship Surya. Where do we find a virgin?
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Go to any convenient Christian; they can invent a (post-coital) virgin at the drop of a palm frond.
"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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04-15-2010, 11:59 AM
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#10
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Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,616
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We need to keep the stocks up since the mooslim suicide bombers took hold.
I just don't fancy shagging a raisin.
Stop the Holy See men!
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04-15-2010, 12:41 PM
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#11
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Mistress Monster Mod'rator Spy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The North Coast
Posts: 15,428
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"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
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04-16-2010, 04:28 AM
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#12
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Stinkin' Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Britland
Posts: 13,616
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It didn't take long for the slippery slimey bastard insurers to crawl behind their "Act of God" universal cop-out bullshit.
Quote:
Travellers have accused insurance companies of using an 'Act of God' defence to avoid paying compensation for personal losses from the volcanic cloud disruption that could top £20m.
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Even though insurers claim that no such cop-out exists, to me the term still lingers like a bad fart in legal circles.
I wonder if Billy Connoly can sue the poop whilst he passes through these parts?
Stop the Holy See men!
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04-16-2010, 06:51 AM
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#13
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,422
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Quote:
Smellyoldgit wrote
It didn't take long for the slippery slimey bastard insurers to crawl behind their "Act of God" universal cop-out bullshit.
Even though insurers claim that no such cop-out exists, to me the term still lingers like a bad fart in legal circles.
I wonder if Billy Connoly can sue the poop whilst he passes through these parts?
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I noticed how quick they were to deny any culpability. They reach for that "Act of God" stuff like Wyatt Earp going for his gun in a shootout.
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04-16-2010, 12:49 PM
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#14
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Obsessed Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Inklandia
Posts: 3,389
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Check the contracts. People don't read them and will go for the cheaper policy without asking too many questions, so much so that I doubt that anyone would by a truly comprehensive contract.
If religion were based on facts, it would be called science, and no one would believe it. -- Stephen Colbert
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04-16-2010, 05:39 PM
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#15
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I Live Here
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 23,211
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Quote:
inkadu wrote
Check the contracts. People don't read them and will go for the cheaper policy without asking too many questions, so much so that I doubt that anyone would by a truly comprehensive contract.
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Well, I want a contract that not only provides compensation for my losses, but also punitive damages against god (ie Vatican coffers (unless the Vatican denies its role as god's representative on Earth)) for His little pranks.
"Those who most loudly proclaim their honesty are least likely to possess it."
"Atheism: rejecting all absurdity." S.H.
"Reality, the God alternative"
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