How Sleep Works

[calpurnpiso]

Chris wrote

I was drawn to it this morning because I was trying to find out what issues I need to resolve. I'm always having reoccurring dreams about an ex boyfriend. It's been 12 years since we broke up, I can stop dreaming about him now, shesh, he wasn't even 'the best I ever had'.

Obviously 12 years ago he did not do something you wish he had, so, this persistence surfaces at random in dreams, but since dreams are seldom remembered for they sink fast into the depths of our sub-conscience, you had not notice it this till now when you happen to grasp it making an impact and been able to remember it fondly! He must have left something unfinished.

Gnosital wrote

If you don't have very significant dreams that cause you to wonder WTF for half the morning, then you probably don't have any major unresolved emotional issues nagging at your subconscious either.

I have dreamt of having sex with my sister and with my mother, in multiple instances. I do not mind (dreams are dreams after all), but what's your take on it?

skribb wrote

I have dreamt of having sex with my sister and with my mother, in multiple instances. I do not mind (dreams are dreams after all), but what's your take on it?

Intimacy issues stemming from a childhood problem, probably a disconnect in understanding between you and your female family.

Man I was heavy on dream interpretation years ago, I think it was all these recurring dreams of fighting my brother gladiator style and fighting zombies to save heroines.

Chris wrote

I was drawn to it this morning because I was trying to find out what issues I need to resolve. I'm always having reoccurring dreams about an ex boyfriend. It's been 12 years since we broke up, I can stop dreaming about him now, shesh, he wasn't even 'the best I ever had'.

Without more details I couldn't say, but most likely it's one of those 'what-if' doubts we all have that are holding in your sub-conscious.

[Gnosital]

Chris wrote

I was drawn to it this morning because I was trying to find out what issues I need to resolve. I'm always having reoccurring dreams about an ex boyfriend. It's been 12 years since we broke up, I can stop dreaming about him now, shesh, he wasn't even 'the best I ever had'.

I'm not a clinical psych person, but I am a psychologist like a pyro who wanted to be a fireman. SO I'll offer a suggestion for you to make your own interpretation.

You don't have to answer me, but answer yourself:

Have the dreams occurred with regularity over the last 12 years or sporadically?

Have you had any particularly stressful life events that coincided with the dreams? Is so, what was going on at the time when the dreams were occurring?

What emotion do you feel in the dream? Does the emotion coincide with any feelings you are having during the day?

What does this person or the relationship you had with the person symbolize to you? (Keep in mind that the person may have meant something to you in the past that is differnt from how you think of him in the present, and consider both meanings.)

Recurring dreams are often related to some underlying emotional issues, but the most obvious interpretation is not necessarily the best one.

I often find it helpful to ask a close friend to brainstorm some possible interpretations of the dream events. If one of them sort of tweaks me, then I stew over it for a while, I can usually track down the source of the dream issue. Usually that stops the dream altogether.

Alternatively, you can try to teach yourself lucid dreaming, although it doesn't work for everyone and requires some time and patience and concentration. It's not as woo woo as it seems.

Simply play out the events of the recurring dream in your mind just before you go to sleep. Imagine every scene as vividly as possible. At some point (and I think it's best to always envision the same point in the dream) envision taking control of the dream events, in other words, ask your ex boyfriend what he wants or something, Envision the dream happenign exactly that way several times before you fall asleep, and there is a chance you will become lucid during the dream state and be able to ask the question you wanted to know.

That might help.

[Gnosital]

skribb wrote

I have dreamt of having sex with my sister and with my mother, in multiple instances. I do not mind (dreams are dreams after all), but what's your take on it?

I don't subscribe to the standardized interpretations that are in so many pop psych books. A cigar is, after all, sometimes just a cigar. And everybody sees a cigar differently.

So I wouldn't presume to tell you what your dream "means", if anything, but you could do the same things I suggested to Chris if you are wondering how to make sense of the dreams you have had.

My experience has been that if the same dream or similar kinds of dreams occur repeatedly, there's usually some issue at the crux of the biscuit. Now if you are into the idea of having sex with your mother or sister when you're awake, there's really nothing to interpret. If you aren't into the idea of shagging your mom or sis, and especially if you find the idea of it upsetting, there might be an issue. But if you aren't really bothered by the dream, and you are not interested in making it so, then it's also no big deal.

Just curious, does it become a wet dream, and are you certain about the identities of the dream women being your mom and sis? Because we are notorious for assigning labels and identities to our dream characters AFTER we awaken.

[calpurnpiso]

skribb wrote

I have dreamt of having sex with my sister and with my mother, in multiple instances. I do not mind (dreams are dreams after all), but what's your take on it?

Any normal male has had this desire. It simply is nostalgia to go back to the cave of creation and have free food, with the least effort. Freud was right in this observation.