Lonley Atheist

sehru89 · 02-08-2011, 07:28 AM

Hi,
i joined this forum b/c i wanted to make some atheist friends. im from southwestern virginia, i believe thats part of the bible belt. Anyway, my whole family is christian, my fiance and his family, and all my friends are as well. Even people i know who are on the fence are too scared to talk about it. Ive just been feeling alone and opressed lately. I cant stand holding my tougue about my beliefs.
Religion just scares people into believing, thats one of the things that initialy turned me off about it. i dont need to be scared of being burned for all eternity just to be a good person. I had gone to a website yesterday www.evilbible.com , it was real interesting. it basically turns the bible against itself, points out all the contridictions and hateful speech within it. Anyway, i posted the link on my facebook. In response my granny of all poeple says "theres enough evil in the world without you adding to it", this really hurt my feelings! There is nothing evil on the site except whats quoted directly from the bible.
i go home and i tell my fiance about it and he says i should put "atheist stuff up where my granny can see, its not good for her", the today my sister asks me where i think my dad went(he died about 5yrs ago)i told her what i thought, he went back to nothingness. What im trying to say is, they actually got me feeling bad about being an atheist and being open about my views.
i know this is a long post, it was a little of me getting things off my chest, i would really enjoy if i could find some friends. i really do feel alone.

Smellyoldgit · 02-08-2011, 07:56 AM

We may not be able to change the habits of your deluded family, but this place can be a splendid haunt to rant & vent about the stupidity that is religion. Welcome aboard.

West491 · 02-08-2011, 08:03 AM

Did you become atheist after you were engaged to your fiance? If not, then I'm curious as to why you chose, as an atheist, to marry a religious person with a religious family. Didn't you foresee conflict?

Also, all your friends are Christians? Boy, I bet you guys have tons of fun drinking your grape juice and eating wafers.

Anyway, this forum is a good place to meet some good, intelligent, like-minded people. It seems that's what you really need.

Welcome to the forum.

nkb · 02-08-2011, 08:04 AM

Welcome, sehru!

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, that really sucks! Although we can't directly help you with those issues, I hope you find some kindred spirits here with whom you can release some tension.

Out of curiosity, where do you stand as far as being financially independant from the rest of your family?

Professor Chaos · 02-08-2011, 09:25 AM

Welcome, sehru.

Stick around.

MajorTomWaits99 · 02-08-2011, 09:37 AM

Dont' Feel bad about being an atheist. you don't sound like a cantankerous angsty brat so you shouldn't be made to feel bad : \

WELCOME

sehru89 · 02-08-2011, 10:33 AM

thanx for the replies! i already feel at home.
West491, when me and my fiance got together i was agnostic. then my dad died after we had been together 6mos, i wanted and tried to make myself believe in any god, even if it wasnt the christian god, its just never made logical sense to me. religion hasnt really been an issue with us, it would be awesome if he shared my views but if i was going to base my intimate relationships on wether he was religious or not i would never date.
My friends are like most christians, they beleive that Jesus was son of god and blah blah, but everything else they make up to feel okay about what they're doin. we drink, as well as do other substances. I just generally stay away from the religion issue.
Does anyone else ever get the feeling that you're the only sane person in the world. Everyone else is skitzo, and its being incouraged. i know why they believe in it. In the end there is only one reason someone could believe in somthing so insane. Comfort. Knowing that your loved ones are in Paradise and looking down on you is comforting. i know that isnt true and im not going to lie to myself to be happy. im okay with it. but who am i to take that comfort away from someone i love. thats why i feel so bad somtimes, and why i just stay away from talking about it.

Simoon · 02-08-2011, 10:39 AM

Welcome aboard!

This is a good place to talk to like minded people.

I just googled 'Virginia atheist' and it looks like there are several groups you can look into. Not sure if they're in your area or not, but meeting fellow free thinkers in person may help.

psychodiva · 02-08-2011, 10:41 AM

hello and welcome

West491 · 02-08-2011, 10:57 AM

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

West491, when me and my fiance got together i was agnostic. then my dad died after we had been together 6mos, i wanted and tried to make myself believe in any god, even if it wasnt the christian god, its just never made logical sense to me.

Please correct me if I'm wrong: You're atheist because you're upset that you're dad died and you feel that if a god exists, he wouldn't have let that happen. Is this accurate?

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

religion hasnt really been an issue with us, it would be awesome if he shared my views but if i was going to base my intimate relationships on wether he was religious or not i would never date.

Why?

Also, what if you two have children? Surely, he will want to indoctrinate them. I can't even imagine a Christian parent who allows his [young] children to not believe. How do you feel about your children being indoctrinated? I don't mean to meddle in your business. You can tell me to fuck off if you want. But I'm interested in these types of things: atheist and theist marriages. Just glancing at the Facebook statuses of some of my theist associates and family members irritates me sometimes, so I'm curious as to how you are able to live with a theist.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

My friends are like most christians, they beleive that Jesus was son of god and blah blah, but everything else they make up to feel okay about what they're doin. we drink, as well as do other substances. I just generally stay away from the religion issue.

Quote:

sehru89 wrote

Does anyone else ever get the feeling that you're the only sane person in the world.

Not too often, because I have atheist friends, about 99% of whom I met, and will continue to meet, in university. Like I said, you probably need to find some like-minded friends, in real life.

anthonyjfuchs · 02-08-2011, 11:08 AM

I'm in Eastern North Carolina, sehru. So we're practically neighbors

And while my wife isn't religious in the least (at worst, she harbors a Sam Harris-like "spirituality"), the Southern branch of her family is. I lucked out a little, in that most of her family are privately religious. But my wife's step-mother makes up for them all. She has, on more than one than one occasion, berated me at length for daring to be open about my opinions. To be fair: I was so open with my opinions that I wrote a series of editorials in the local newspaper, so I kind of brought it on myself.

But when you get down to it, they didn't choose their beliefs any more than you or I chose not to believe. We just don't believe, and they just do believe; they can no more choose to not believe what they believe than you or I can chose to believe what they believe. In all of my arguments with...well, really just with the step-monster...I remind myself of that, and I don't ever give her the power to make me feel bad about myself for what I think. I didn't choose my opinions any more than she chose hers, so she doesn't get to make me feel any worse than I can make her feel. And, frankly, her opinion of me really doesn't mean shit.

About the only thing that really shuts her down is something to the effect of: "you can believe what you want, but you can't tell me what to believe."

nkb · 02-08-2011, 11:14 AM

West,
I married a Catholic (non-practicing now), and even got married in church.

We have agreed to not indoctrinate our kids, as she agrees that they are too young to understand the concept of god, and would just be parroting what they are told. Once they're old enough, they can make their own choice, which both of us will respect.

It's not a question of whether one person in a marriage is religious, but to what extent. If my wife had exhibited any evangelizing tendencies, our relationship would have come to an ass-screeching halt.

West491 · 02-08-2011, 11:21 AM

Quote:

nkb wrote

West, I married a Catholic (non-practicing now), and even got married in church.

We have agreed to not indoctrinate our kids, as she agrees that they are too young to understand the concept of god, and would just be parroting what they are told. Once they're old enough, they can make their own choice, which both of us will respect.

It's not a question of whether one person in a marriage is religious, but to what extent. If my wife had exhibited any evangelizing tendencies, our relationship would have come to an ass-screeching halt.

You were atheist when you married? And currently, she isn't a theist? If she is currently a theist, what does she think will happen to you when you die?

I'm assuming you two are still married.

sehru89 · 02-08-2011, 11:29 AM

West491, i dont mind the questions. Thats why we're all atheist right? cuz we asked too many questions.
Before i get into it, how do u quote things i post. i cant figure it out?
Anyway, no i didnt turn into an atheist b/c my dad died. Thats so cliche, "oh someone i love died, how could god do this? WHY!?". I never got that. its selfish. i guess my upbringing had something to do with it, my mom never took me to church, she wasnt into organized religion when i was younger. She is now. But i was never indoctrinated, ive never been baptized. i did go to church with my aunt, i hated it. it was so boring and always smelt like spearment gum. So its just never been that important to me.
Then i grew up and i was able to look into it myself and i realized how intolerant it was, i hated how it was being forced on me(idk were you're from, but here, there is really no seperation what-so-ever of church and state). it was annoying that every question i asked led to more questions. it didnt make sense. i guess ive alway been atheist, its just i said i was agnostic b/c its more accepted.
As far as children. he doesnt go to church now, and ive already had the talk about indoctrinating a.k.a brainwashing. i will let her get baptised since its important to him, i will teach him/her myself about other religions, im gonna be open with him/her about me being an atheist. he/she can choose what they want to believe. And its pretty easy living with him, he believes in Jesus, but he thinks as long as you're a good person youll go to heaven. Hes not super religious.

nkb · 02-08-2011, 11:46 AM

Quote:

West491 wrote

You were atheist when you married? And currently, she isn't a theist? If she is currently a theist, what does she think will happen to you when you die?

Yes, I was an out-of-the-closet atheist when we got married.
She is a non-practicing Catholic, but, really, she's tending towards being a deist. She believes in God, but doesn't really buy the Catholic Church bullshit any more.

She thinks that good, moral people, no matter whether they are religious or not, will be treated well in the afterlife.

Quote:

West491 wrote

I'm assuming you two are still married.

Absolutely. Married 10 years this year, together for 18 years. We have two young awesome children, and things couldn't be better (well, I would never say no to more money

).

Compatible personalities (which we have) has far more impact than any religious differences.